Any Single Men Here Seeing Married Women?

[pl3asehelp]

So many misguided ideas here. Don't cheat ever, for any reason, there is NEVER a good excuse. And if you're single and seeing someone who isn't, you're cheating - same thing. It will never end well. No matter what lies and excuses you tell yourself, you are wrong - cheating is wrong. Just stop it. Don't do it in the first place. If you think you can cheat for any reason, you are just plain wrong - there is no excuse.

[pl3asehelp]

Unless of course Karma really happens, in which case you need to pay for the wrong you did to the man this woman was married to... Ever think about how your actions affected him?

[murdock604]

Posted in the other thread about seeing a married woman (while I had a gf), we go to the same gym and I thought it was exciting but wrong. I really don't know how it started, just that we flirted constantly at first til it escalated, often I'd feel guilty when her husband would call and she'd say she was having a girls night out. Eventually she said she loved me and wanted to leave her husband, I couldn't do it because I was already in a relationship. There were some bad things I did and I'm not sure why she let me: I asked her to stop having sex with her husband, and took pictures of her to show a friend of mine, told her I loved her when I didn't, etc).

 

I've since ended the relationship with her, she still tries to contact me but I can't see her without feeling guilty, no matter how amazing the sex is. I still miss her but there's no way I'd take a married woman seriously; she's cheating on her husband and would do the same to me.

[Aeme]

RainyNight -

 

I stumbled upon this forum from a google search randomly. After reading some of the accounts, I thought I'd create an account and ask some questions in my head regarding such experiences (if you don't mind?). I'm in this possible situation which may be or may not be -- let's just say it's a lurking thought that won't leave. At my work, there is a single guy who shows me attention from time to time, as if he is interested. Just as I was considering giving him a chance, it just so happen that I non-intentionally stumbled upon him giving attention towards a married woman at work (who has a reputation for having affairs - I am not sure if it's rumor or true). Having stumbled upon that, I slightly backed off from the situation so as to be more observant of the situation before making any further decisions regarding him. Every once in a while he will show interest and act as though he is trying to pursue getting to know me more. Still feeling odd about it (I can't quite pin if I'm imaging, or if my gut is right -- there are times I feel that he and this married woman act close around each other, but who's to know for sure).

 

So, let me get to my question for you: In my mind, what I'm concerned may be happening is this:

This guy only showing me attention at random intermediate moments so as to cloak his having an affair in the office with a married woman (using me as a cover without my own knowledge) and/or using me to fill in the lonely gaps when she is unavailable.

 

For this reason, I sometimes will give him some of my time, and other times I will not. I have not spent time with him except for a lunch date at work from time to time, or an occasional text or phone conversation.

 

Could you please tell me if something like this might be common for a single man to do when dating a married woman?

 

Sincerely,

A.

[DILLIGAF]

I know this is a very old tread but im going through exactly the same situation, How did it work out for you in the end?

Did you meet someone else or did she ever leave her husband for you?

If so is it still going strong?

I know if the married woman I am seeing and have been for about 8 months ever left her husband and I'd want nothing more but could I trust her to not do the same to me?

I only see her about 3-4 times a week and sometimes for only the odd half hour here or there but every moment counts, Although I'd love nothing more than to meet a nice single woman while I'm seeing the married one I can never meet anyone else, Sometimes its frustrating and I get mad and try to leave but I just cant bring myself to do it ( I have once and she just burst into tears ) because I love her and just couldnt do it. Although she says she loves me, She tells me that she can never leave him as it would break his heart and the children would be in pieces. I would never ask her to leave as if she did and it did turn out wrong I wouldnt want to be the one to blame.

[DILLIGAF]

Hi Aeme

 

I think most men would try to hide the fact that they were seeing a married women but it could be a case that hes flirting with other people as well just for an ego boost for himself. If hes a bit of a player I'd like to say leave well alone ( I used to do the same in my younger years flirt and move on to the next ) if he works in your office does he take lunch/tea breaks with the married women?

Do they seem to disappear out of the office at the same time or one just before the other?

 

Good luck anyway

D

[Baily]

Just remember that there is a husband, he has a brain and he will eventually put the pieces together. If he does and he catches you in bed with his wife...what do u think he's gonna do? The same thing you'd do to someone in bed with your wife.

Know you are putting your life on the line....

I had a friend whom this happened to...he followed the wife one day she thought he'd be gone. He left and hung out followed her to a hotel where he waited. Saw the other guy go in with her. I'll end the story by stating the police arrested him and an ambulance came for the other two. It was a sad situation. He had never been aggressive. Wife cheating put him over the edge.

Play with fire...you may get burned.

[Aeme]

Hi Aeme

 

I think most men would try to hide the fact that they were seeing a married women but it could be a case that hes flirting with other people as well just for an ego boost for himself. If hes a bit of a player I'd like to say leave well alone ( I used to do the same in my younger years flirt and move on to the next ) if he works in your office does he take lunch/tea breaks with the married women?

Do they seem to disappear out of the office at the same time or one just before the other?

 

Good luck anyway

D

 

Dilligaf,

 

Thank you for responding to my comments with this information. The part that stood out most to me was, "leave well alone;" I think I've found my solution.

[kikimushy]

Well,

I guess we all had the same experience... I am single and never been married, I met this girl, first i didn't know that she is married, then I knew but I liked her, and she seemed to be in an awful relationship; Her husband was having prostitutes at home, she wants to have kids but she never had a "normal marriage or relationship" we met many times and had great love making and at the end, when I asked her if she believed in us, she went away... Moral of the story, listen to your mind before listening to your heart, don't believe women, never be romantic, don't give a **** about a married girl's problems and don't think about her and if a married girl wants you don't even think about more than a night, don't meet her at your place, be the one leaving the bed first, don't confess anything about yourself, don't think about what she tells you, be a jerk, and if a girl has never been in a normal relationship it's because she is sick, so this brings the last moral: squeezing **** doesn't make you doctor.

[Pinch]

I want to tell the story of the other side.

I am a married woman and recently went thru brief "relationship" with a single guy.

First I want to say that I got married very early in life and have been married for a long time. My husband is a good guy, although some time ago he slipped up and had an affair himself. That definitely put a dent in our marriage and my trust, but with the time I though I forgive him and moved on with our life, had children, bought a house etc. .However now thinking about all this I guess that whole story started my cooling off towards him. I love him and always will, but know now that I'm not in love with him.

We still have sex and we both get satisfied but it is more like a routine 3-4 times weekly for 15 min or so and then sleep. The spark is missing, gone!

For a long time I thought that's ok and lied to myself that is normal since we've been married for so long...

Enough history now back to present times.

This guy I met at work, we became friends. He knew I'm married and I don't think I ever gave him signs that I am interested in anything more than a friendship. But there was always some sexual tension, you just feel these things.

I avoided temptation for more than a year. Actually put a pretty good fight and always put my husband and children into the picture when we talked, just to make sure he doesn't forget I'm not available.

He changed jobs and after he left we started talking even more and more openly. He told me that having a "relationship" with married woman is not something new for him. He'd done it before and it was a good experience for both parties.

One thing lead to another and we started being intimate.

To be honest the sex was amazing, but the friendship went downhill. I don't think I've head such good sex even when I was young and single. However that alone was not enough, I wanted the friendship and the intimacy. But I am not available and understandably can't offer much in return. So we had problems from day one. He was saying that if I want more should give more, I was saying that he knew what he was getting into to begin with and I can't give more even if I wanted. We had some ugly, ugly fights...

Several times i tried to pull out of this but I was hooked...the sex so good, it was like a drug...

He was stating that he feels differently with me than with his other married women, he was somewhat jealous from my husband...

He was saying that he wants me all to himself and doesn't like sharing me with my family.

But always said that this arrangement works for him. I don't know how it could have, but who am I to judge.

Deep down I was not ok with the arrangement either. I felt confused and I still am about the whole thing.

I've never done this before and never thought it will happen to me. But it did. I was one of these ppl that don't do to others what they don't like to be done to them. I knew that my husband's wrong doing long time ago doesn't provide an excuse for my wrong going this time. Two wrongs don't make one right...

I never promised this guy anything, never said that I'm considering leaving my husband or children. I was very clear on that.

He never trusted me what I'm telling. Always questioned everything to exhaustion. Saying that i am not open and honest with him, that I don't respect his feelings. Now reading all the posts I see it is common. How could he trust me after what I'm doing to my husband with him...so I understand now.

Anyway after a fight one day he said not to ever call him again.

It was a welcomed relief for me. I'll lie if I say I am no sad. I am, I miss his companionship and of course I miss the sex.

I've been few times on the verge to call.

But I know it's for the best for both of us. This thing had no future. I know if things were ok home it would have never happened.

I don't blame him, although sometimes i doubt his genuine intentions. I think I was an easy target. Fitting exactly the profile- aging woman, with low self esteem that got few compliments from someone and gave in.

But I so want to believe it was all genuine. Two ppl that met at the wrong time of their lives...

I have yet to figure my life. What happened stripped down all my illusions that what I have home is enough and I'm happy.

And although I'm very sad I know it's the right ending of the story and I wish him the best.

[Randian]

I just needed to let you guys know... I had a 4 day affair with a married woman. I just ended it a few minutes ago after reading the posts on this thread. I was already feeling guilty about it, and I was also beginning to think about how a future between the two us would be possible.

 

The sex was great, and she's everything I've wanted in a woman... besides the fact that she's married. I'm glad I found this forum; I'm glad to find others who are willing to offer their stories to help out others. Thanks,

[ls88]

I personally think single men and married women are a very good match. My single guy and I have had an understanding since the start that the relationship would be purely physical and all about the sex. We are unbelievably good together I might add. If he was married we wouldn't have a place to meet. I absolutely love quickies at his place during lunch, after work, etc......... And I might add if he were married we'd have one more spouse to watch out for. Single guy vs married guy? I would pursue the single guy everytime. Our relationship may turn sour at any time. You don't get any guarantees. But for now we're getting exactly what we both want and need.

[Michelle23]

You are all awful people. Its is so wrong on so many levels to hurt your spouse like that. For those of you who are cheating now-you will lose everything and you don't deserve the person you married or the family you have. If a man ever does that to me after me giving him my whole life, I will die. Literally, I couldn't survive that.

[Michelle23]

Pinch Why didn't you leave him when he had an affair. Ive seen stories like yours so many times and even though I only read about 1/3 of this, I get that after the affair-things changed between you for the worst.. What is the point then? If it was me I would be gone already.

[Capricorn3]

This thread is 9 years old. Closed.