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Thread: I don't know what to do...

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What did she tell you? Why is your father suddenly homeless?
    Originally Posted by Nina89
    She told my dad she no longer
    wanted to be a wife and mother.

  2. #12

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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    You need to talk to your father about your boyfriend abusing you. Chickensh*t abusers get away with this stuff because no one talks about it. I bet you he wouldnít talk about hitting you in front of your dad.
    I have talked to my family a little, not about him pretending to hit me, but about the other stuff and they are not happy. They know I don't want to mess up my rental history or his army job so they are letting me decide what I do. I know that will not be the case if they knew that he pretended to hit me. They would drag me out and I am scared to think what they would do to him. My dad and uncles are not what you call innocent guys, but they would never lay a hand on a woman and a very protective of family.
    Last edited by Nina89; 07-12-2020 at 10:19 AM.

  3. #13

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    What did she tell you? Why is your father suddenly homeless?
    My mom did not say much to me, for some reason she did and said things when I was not around. The person she had become before she left was not the person I grew up with as a mother. A few years back we had fallen on a hard time financially and that messed up my parents credit and rental history. A lot of places would not rent to my dad because of this.

  4. #14
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Nina89
    I have talked to my family a little, not about him pretending to hit me, but about the other stuff and they are not happy. They know I don't want to mess up my rental history or his army job so they are letting me decide what I do. I know that will not be the case if they knew that he pretended to hit me. They would drag me out and I am scared to think what they would do to him. My dad and uncles are not what you call innocent guys, but they would never lay a hand on a woman and a very protective of family.
    Donít bother feeling sorry for abusers they are the cause of their own problems just leave. It anything happens to him with his military job thatís up to him he did it his problem.

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  6. #15

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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    Donít bother feeling sorry for abusers they are the cause of their own problems just leave. It anything happens to him with his military job thatís up to him he did it his problem.
    That is a problem I have always had, I care too much about others. The only reason I have been thinking about this problem so much is because it has affected my little sister. She has seen the way he talks to me when she stays over and she has noticed that I make excuses why I don't go over to my families place and spend time with them.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Did your mother flee abuse? You seem to over sympathize with your father and blame your
    mother for everything from mental health issues to quitting your job. You claim you know very little about why she left. Do you know where she is and do you have contact?
    Originally Posted by Nina89
    My mom did not say much to me, for some reason she did and said things when I was not around. The person she had become before she left was not the person I grew up with as a mother. A few years back we had fallen on a hard time financially and that messed up my parents credit and rental history. A lot of places would not rent to my dad because of this.

  8. #17
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Nina89
    That is a problem I have always had, I care too much about others. The only reason I have been thinking about this problem so much is because it has affected my little sister. She has seen the way he talks to me when she stays over and she has noticed that I make excuses why I don't go over to my families place and spend time with them.
    Donít have your little sister over to witness abuse. Just leave.

  9. #18

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    I also keep telling myself it is my fault, if only I did not let my mental health get so bad or if I did things differently. Maybe I am being to sensitive. Maybe if I didn't pull away from him at all he wouldn't be so frustrated. Maybe he is right and I shouldn't be going to my families without him.
    He has not physically hurt me and maybe his actions are a result of him being young and this being his first real serious relationship, maybe he just doesn't know how to behave...

  10. #19
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Breaking a lease is not damaging if you pay the fee in order to do so. From there, you can search for a place with your Dad and put the new lease under your name with your Dad as a resident.

    Meanwhile, move your stuff to storage and go stay with the family who loves you.

  11. #20
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Nina89
    I also keep telling myself it is my fault, if only I did not let my mental health get so bad or if I did things differently. Maybe I am being to sensitive. Maybe if I didn't pull away from him at all he wouldn't be so frustrated. Maybe he is right and I shouldn't be going to my families without him.
    He has not physically hurt me and maybe his actions are a result of him being young and this being his first real serious relationship, maybe he just doesn't know how to behave...
    Or maybe he is an abuser.

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