I don't know what to do...

[Seraphim]

Thank you everyone for the advice. You have all helped very much and I think it is best if I leave before it gets worse.

 

I can guarantee you it will get worse isolation is the first phase. And first relationship or not nobody threatens to hit you because of hard times that’s just nuts. And doesn’t know how to act ,really? We are taught as toddlers to keep your hands to yourself and don’t threaten people. My guess is there are a lot of abusive situations in his family. Run for the hills.

[SherrySher]

When couples get together, it's very difficult to tell how they will actually behave in more stressful situations or if they are actually good people. People are on their best behavior for the first part of the relationship.

This is why women can marry men who don't start beating them till after they're married and have been together for a few years.

 

A stressful situation brings out people's true colors. They can either be empathetic to their partner, loving, helpful, supportive, or they can turn how your boyfriend did, and be cruel, punishing, annoyed, etc.

It's not your fault. This is how he will behave with anyone. He has a mean streak in him.

 

You could not control your mother leaving, and it's more than normal for you to react with upset like you did. Anyone would.

If he had been a decent man, he would have been loving towards you, supportive, understanding, etc.

But he's not.

 

He is being abusive. And when you find out the person you are with has this in them. it's time to leave. He won't change and it could get much worse where he will start hitting you and hurting you very badly.

You need to leave and take care of yourself. Don't listen to any more nonsense he has to say. Abusers will beg, cry, plead, it's part of the abusive process. Then you'll feel guilty, and stay, and eventually he will start abusing you again.

You need to get out now before it gets worse.

[Hollyj]

Thank you everyone for the advice. You have all helped very much and I think it is best if I leave before it gets worse.

 

Good! Please do it quickly.

 

This guy is emotionally abusive, and the threat of hitting you indicates it could get physical. This guy sounds dangerous and unstable.

 

How you sought help for you depression?

[Billie28]

I fail to see why you are so hurt by your mother and step dads relationship breakdown.

 

Perhaps it was the first stable relationship you saw your mother in given that you were 6 when they met. But relationships fail for many reasons and you are favouring your step dad over your mother.

She sounds like she has had a stable job for many years.

Her leaving your step dad did not leave him homeless. If he can’t get a lease , that’s on him not her.

And he is NOT homeless. He might not like his spare room in his families house but he is not living in the street.

 

Lease a place in your name and have your step dad live with you as a paying lodger.

Problem solved right??