Hopelessnick Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 My crush, who's also my coworker, teases me a bit, but as soon as I do it once, she freezes and stops for a couple of days. Then the process repeats. There is definitely moments of chemistry between us. Key word: moments. Been going on for a few weeks. I messaged her for the first time (on Facebook) and she replied with one word. I've had enough, so I unfriended her. I'm gonna ignore her unless she makes a big move on me. Did I do the right thing? Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 I wonder if you have been misreading this teasing and feeling chemistry that actually wasn't there for her. Can you elaborate on what you wrote in your message to her? And what you mean by "teasing", exactly? Link to comment
Hopelessnick Posted April 6, 2020 Author Share Posted April 6, 2020 I wonder if you have been misreading this teasing and feeling chemistry that actually wasn't there for her. Can you elaborate on what you wrote in your message to her? And what you mean by "teasing", exactly? A mixture of teasing, playful stuff actually. (In the message, I wrote "Hope you enjoy your break! Don't do anything I wouldn't do ;) " She just replied THanks! One time she goes, "I've got a bone to pick with you" with a little smile and I said she had 207 to choose from. The thing she pointed out wasn't even important. Another time, she was about to leave for work and she came up to me and said "Do i have permission to leave?" I said, "no. sit back down until I say you can go." One time I was sposed to be on holidays, but I went into the office to get something and she said "Go away!". We're working at home now due to COVID-19. She emailed me asking for my number so she could liase with me. Thing she told me could have 100% been easily explained in the email. Stuff like that. If she knows I'm interested, surely she'd only do things like that if she was (a) interested or (b) Just playing games. I'm guessing B Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 I am not seeing romantic interest on her part in the interactions you described above, really. It sounds like she enjoys kidding around and a little banter, but that's about it. What did you write in your Facebook message to her? Link to comment
Hopelessnick Posted April 6, 2020 Author Share Posted April 6, 2020 I am not seeing romantic interest on her part in the interactions you described above, really. It sounds like she enjoys kidding around and a little banter, but that's about it. What did you write in your Facebook message to her? She only does stuff like that to me. No one else. In the message, I wrote "Hope you enjoy your break! Don't do anything I wouldn't do ;) " She just replied THanks! Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 She only does stuff like that to me. No one else. In the message, I wrote "Hope you enjoy your break! Don't do anything I wouldn't do ;) " She just replied THanks! I have to tell you, as a woman, I would be saying a lot more than "thanks" if I were interested in a guy. I also wouldn't assume that the fact that she jokes around with you and nobody else means she's romantically interested. She could just genuinely like you as a work buddy. I don't see flirtatious undertones nor do I see someone who is intentionally trying to play games with you. As such, I think unfriending her on Facebook was an over-reaction, but maybe for the best if you find if difficult to be an audience member to her life rather than a participant with her. I am not sure how you intend to explain it to her if she notices and asks what's up. I know it sucks, but I think you misinterpreted her friendliness. Sorry, man. EDIT: It is this same woman from your previous thread? https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=563898 Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 Ok, that's a clear message to leave her alone and start using appropriate professional boundaries. Do not harass women at work.My crush, who's also my coworker. I messaged her for the first time (on Facebook) and she replied with one word. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 If she knows I'm interested, surely she'd only do things like that if she was (a) interested or (b) Just playing games. I'm guessing B Everything isn't sexual. (A) and (B) are both wrong. She was © just having normal, friendly workplace banter with a coworker. She only does stuff like that to me. No one else. That's because every relationship is unique, even professional relationships. I don't treat every single person at work the same way. No way. Every person has different boundaries and expectations, different senses of humor, etc. However, I think it's probably best that you unfriended her because you seem to be having trouble navigating these subtleties. Link to comment
Billie28 Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 She is not interested. Backs off when you attempt to cross the line of friendship. I doubt she will notice of you unfriend her. Don’t take that personally. It’s just the way it is. The reasons she is not interested are the reasons someone else will be. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 My advice about this ongoing coworker crush remains the same: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=563898&p=7203451&viewfull=1#post7203451My crush, who's also my coworker Link to comment
catfeeder Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 Just stop responding. Boom! Done. Link to comment
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