Unsure if ex is showing interest again and where to go from here?

Will try to make this not too long. Ex and I broke up about three months ago. We work together still and ultimately end up seeing each other daily, although very briefly. At first, we just really ignored one another, and he blocked me on social media right after. It just got to be weird to me so about a month in, I decided to just send a quick text meant as an olive branch. I didn’t get a response, so I let it go.

About a month later, he unblocks me from social media, and later responds to my prior text. Since then, so for about the past month, he has been texting me daily. I have only initiated once. Conversations went from very brief in the beginning, to quite prolonged, sometimes spanning a whole day if we are not working now.

Texts range from daily nonsense, to old inside jokes (and new ones), he sends pictures of random stuff in his day and have been getting an increasing number of selfies lately, there’s some teasing and flirting like old times. He has been asking me more questions lately than he did when we were together. We recently both took a test which we recently found out results for. I passed and he failed for a second time. His family also recently sent out a holiday card where he was the only one excluded from it. I was the first person he told/talked to about both things.

When he sees me in the hallways now he always stops to say something. If we are in the same room and someone makes a joke or he does he always looks at me to see if I’m laughing. He seems to mimic my actions--if I have my hands in my pockets, so does he. If I change to crossing my arms, so does he.

So the update: Last Friday night, he ended up calling me for the first time and we talked for about an hour and a half. The next day he seemed to want to know my dinner plans and I said I didn't have any. We had previously been talking about Cheesecake Factory cheesecake flavors like a week before, and he then asked if I had picked a new flavor to try yet. I said no, and he said if I picked and would share it with him, he'd go with me. So, Saturday night we ended up going to dinner together and sharing dessert. He picked up the bill.

After that, the daily texts continued. He called me again last night before bed just to talk for a bit. We were flirting in tonight's conversation it kind of led to me saying to him that if there's anyone else he should let me know since I don't want to make anything weird for him. He responded to me that I have been very nice and that no, he is not in the female arena right now. I have no clue what that means.

I guess I’m not sure how to interpret all this. He does have exes as friends, but only speaks to them sporadically. He isn’t a guy that goes out of his way to initiate conversation, let alone talk to people daily or arrange get togethers. I don’t know if I’m something to occupy time or if he is interested again and just going slow. I’m not looking to waste time or energy, so I’d like some input on how to proceed.

Thanks!

How old are you both?

How long was the relationship?

Was he seeing someone else during the blocked SM period (which might not have worked out)?

Who broke it off?

If it was him, and now he is playing friendzone with you, you are helping him get over things and move on.

He needs to work on his schooling. Failing an exam a second time is bad news. The priorities are all backwards. How does this have anything to do with you, you say? It has a lot to do with you. It means that when it comes to you, he'll have his priorities with you backwards too. A person who doesn't know how to figure out his/her own personal life and where to spend more time on areas that need more attention isn't going to figure out the right thing when it comes to relationships and you can bet your bottom dollar that he won't or can't be depended on to spend the right attention on you when you need it most. He needs to work on his studies first. This may also be a reason why he's spotty with you or anyone else.

His behaviour towards you appears lukewarm and neither here nor there. I'll be very honest with you. It's not impressive. Picking up a bill for dinner is not an invitation for a relationship. I think you're in love with him and perhaps remember all the things from before when you were in a relationship together. If he has his heart set on you and is determined to make things work with you, considering your history, he'd have been honest from the get -go and made his intentions known.

That you don't know how to "interpret this" says a lot about what's going on. It's hazy, confusing, feels like breadcrumbs and could be a whole lot of nothing and nowhere. Don't let people waste your time like this especially individuals from your past (exes). Be more careful about how much time you're spending talking with him and meeting up with him. You can be open with him and point blank ask where it's going. Don't allow yourself to be led like this. It's degrading and demoralizing to you if what you're looking for is the total package and all that jazz.

Sorry to hear this, what is the reason for the breakup? At best this will turn into one of three undesirable situations. The friendzone, fwb or on/off.

We work together still and ultimately end up seeing each other daily. Saturday night we ended up going to dinner together and sharing dessert.

He needs to work on his schooling. Failing an exam a second time is bad news. The priorities are all backwards. How does this have anything to do with you, you say? It has a lot to do with you. It means that when it comes to you, he'll have his priorities with you backwards too. A person who doesn't know how to figure out his/her own personal life and where to spend more time on areas that need more attention isn't going to figure out the right thing when it comes to relationships and you can bet your bottom dollar that he won't or can't be depended on to spend the right attention on you when you need it most. He needs to work on his studies first. This may also be a reason why he's spotty with you or anyone else.

 

His behaviour towards you appears lukewarm and neither here nor there. I'll be very honest with you. It's not impressive. Picking up a bill for dinner is not an invitation for a relationship. I think you're in love with him and perhaps remember all the things from before when you were in a relationship together. If he has his heart set on you and is determined to make things work with you, considering your history, he'd have been honest from the get -go and made his intentions known.

 

That you don't know how to "interpret this" says a lot about what's going on. It's hazy, confusing, feels like breadcrumbs and could be a whole lot of nothing and nowhere. Don't let people waste your time like this especially individuals from your past (exes). Be more careful about how much time you're spending talking with him and meeting up with him. You can be open with him and point blank ask where it's going. Don't allow yourself to be led like this. It's degrading and demoralizing to you if what you're looking for is the total package and all that jazz.

Bingo RM! I think that's a great way to look at things right now. I think you need to ask yourself: Is what this person presenting me with attractive characteristics? I don't know how old you are, but I believe if you don't see this person as an incredible guy, maybe you shouldn't waste your time and look elsewhere RIGHT NOW. As RM said, this ex of yours seems like he's got a LOT on his plate. Maybe you're a great distraction for him? Who knows. The reality of the situation though is that your ex is having some issues succeeding in his work/school life and he needs to work on managing that realm.

If he does get his schooling back on track, maybe you can revisit the potential for a relationship.

I guess, you need to ask yourself what YOU want and what you're willing to SETTLE for in a relationship of any sorts.

Sorry to hear this, what is the reason for the breakup? At best this will turn into one of three undesirable situations. The friendzone, fwb or on/off.

Wiseman has a good point - your three options don't look great right now. Maybe those options might change later on (kinda like Scrooge and the Ghost of death) if your ex makes some changes, but you need to reflect on why you're letting this guy back into your life and causing confusion in the first place!

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