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About teeEFc

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  1. yah - I know I know. I guess I just feel guilty - like if only I was a better person - he'd stop causing so much pain and confusion? I have done my very best to be whatever he needed. And, if I did lose my cool - I would admit my faults and actively change things for the future. Wiseman - why did he drop me like this? Why the aboutface? Why did he have these invested convos about 'working on a relationship' etc - and then cease all communication? It's so hurtful. He did say that whatever he's got until October 9th is very important - as this could change his volunteer career trajectory fo
  2. Thanks for your response! In the past - he moved for me to my city. However - as I learned later - his employer in his other city asked him to pack up and leave....so I'm not sure exactly whether he was leaving a good thing or seeking a way out anyways. This is why I have the guilt that he left his city for me - so I felt like it was my turn to make the advances to see him and SHOW HIM how serious I was about working on things? But - yes - he has no interest in visiting me. He doesn't have a job right now - so that's partly why he can't afford to visit me? I did say I'd pay for his airfare
  3. Thanks for your input! Exactly - I was thinking the same thing. If he wanted to see me and work on a relationship - he'd move mountains to make sure he could work on things with me WHILE I could be in the same space as him (long distance otherwise!). As well - I would have to move to HIS city and give up my permanent position. His city is known as the most dangerous city in our country - and when I was there recently I WAS physically attacked by a stranger etc etc. I guess you're right - he's putting the relationship 'on hold' because he's confident/arrogant. But - why not just say it's
  4. Thanks for your response! Yes - I did whatever I could to mitigate his poor behaviour against me. His treatment of me was so poor that I would say 'maybe it's best I leave then?' - he would then react very poorly to my statement saying that it's not fair that I say things like this and that this makes him treat me even worse etc. I admit - I shouldn't say those types of things if I want to build trust - it's just he would be so cold and mean to me in his actions that I was starting to go insane. I actually changed my flight dates because I couldn't take it anymore. He says I need to have m
  5. Thanks for your message. I guess I just blame myself for my past mistakes and I feel like if I only do what he asks - he'll show me the loving part of himself that I saw at the beginning of our relationship all those years ago. He asked me "don't you think I can be nice to you again?" I hesitated and said "well, that's a choice you can always make". He didn't like my answer. He said that he only treats me poorly - but he said it's my fault because he's still hurt from me. I told him he should try and be kinder to me. I guess I never thought about him exploiting my fragility etc. I just
  6. Thanks for your speedy reply. I've read a lot of your comments from the past. You are an awesome person to have helped so many ppl. Thanks for your time in reading my plight. I will not contact this person anymore. I'm done with the pleading, begging and emotional effort to make things work. It hurts to get continual rejection. He keeps saying 'oh so you give up on the relationship?" - and I just keep saying "well, it's not that I'm giving up, I just want you to treat me with some kindness and interest"
  7. Okay - question time: I have tried to rekindle things with my ex. It's been rocky to say the least. He reached out to me after being dumped by his girlfriend late Jan 2020 (I had been in NC since October 30th). I determined I wouldn't make the same mistakes as before - given that we're long distance - I committed to actually seeing him in person. I succeeded in visiting him twice. Both times - they were rough. We had our differences. I had difficulties dealing with his hot and cold behaviours. It was really hard on me. He admitted that he was being mean to me - and felt bad about it.
  8. Thanks! That's the thing - I've literally got a million things going on. I just made time for texting. I think I'll be done with these free apps. You're correct, let's start doing some quality dating apps from here on out. But Wiseman - is there any advice you have for how a girl should deal with the communication stuff? Was I doing something wrong or is this the nature of the beast with free dating apps? I'm hoping that this type of stuff won't happen with better dating apps. Thanks for your advice!
  9. Yah - that's very fair. I'm not necessarily the type to abide by 'rules' as I figure if I like the person, ask them out and they end up being offended by my forwardness, than they aren't the right one for me. However, others around me told me that this type of behaviour isn't attractive - guys like the chase etc etc. Now, I'm not being aggressive in my advances = I try to be flirtatious without looking desperate. I just casually talk about hanging out etc. But, I guess you're right. I'll just start asking guys out for coffee from now on. And, tell them if they want to continue talking in pe
  10. Nice. Thanks so much for your feedback on my little side story there. It's nice to know I'm not crazy and I didn't do something odd. Your comments help give me a bit of closure I really, really tried my best to learn from my relationship mistakes. I still have a ways to go - but I'm getting better.
  11. LOL. Yah, I got you! Thanks for the edited reply!
  12. hmmm......I never thought about it like that. I just didn't want him to feel awkward that I was some crazy girl that now expected some kind of romantic relationship. I thought I was taking the high road by giving him the out. I was trying to help out the situation. Oh well, live and learn I guess. I haven't contacted him since.
  13. Yah, that's totally a possibility. But, I'm cool with that. I made it clear I was more than happy to call him my friend. I'd be happy for him if he found someone he really liked. I told him I felt comfortable with him before he left my place the last time. So, why the ghosting? He had no pressure from me.
  14. Thanks for your advice! I'll be employing that strategy from now on. I think I'll just bite the bullet and register for Eharmony or something like that.
  15. Cool. Thanks everyone for your advice. You know, I did meet some nice guys doing my volunteer work. However, I liked one of them - and was told by some on here to not mix volunteering with dating. I tried to invite the guy out for coffee, beer etc. He cancelled on me last minute and never did reschedule. Honestly, unless I go to a paid site I'm not sure what to do. I have done meetup.com. No dice yet. I'm a pretty chill person and I have no issue introducing myself to a person I like. I did have one experience with a guy from a volunteer organization. I thought he was gay the whole
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