Can’t tell if this is something more or just friendship

So I have a friend which I’ve recently come back into contact with. We both have had w rough few months and we kinda been supporting each other through it. As of recently he’s been talking to me a lot more and wanting to call and meet up and me to stay over. He says things such as “if I were your boyfriend”. “If you were my girlfriend”. Or things like “you will find someone. They are a lot closer than you think”. Little alarm bells go off in my head. I could be over thinking this I’ve never been good at knowing when someone is flirting or likes me. How do I bring this up without it being awkward?

B XX

You are not over thinking....a man doesn't invest his time in a girl without motivation. He likes you but like you is unsure how to bring it up....try this, suggest you two go out on a date.

Unfortunately, if he is saying this rather than doing it, his interest is very limited. It sounds like he would consider fwb if you were game. Has he asked you out on a real date? Or just this fishing to see if you'll "stay over"?

He says things such as “if I were your boyfriend”. “If you were my girlfriend”.

Unfortunately, if he is saying this rather than doing it, his interest is very limited. It sounds like he would consider fwb if you were game. Has he asked you out on a real date? Or just this fishing to see if you'll "stay over"?

Wiseman, he could just be shy or inexperienced. Sometimes guys who aren't confident in themselves often take a passive approach in trying to gain traction with women. Just something to consider.

But, yeah if he is relatively out going and social, then it could also be the case that he's not interested enough if he hasn't just straight up tried to kiss you or done something by now.

Unfortunately, if he is saying this rather than doing it, his interest is very limited. It sounds like he would consider fwb if you were game. Has he asked you out on a real date? Or just this fishing to see if you'll "stay over"?

I disagree here. I would say he might be shy, he might lack confidence.

If you've both been going through a rough time in your lives lately, my guess is that he's really into you but probably is afraid to scare you away by letting you know his true feelings. He either is afraid himself to step into a new relationship and ruin it or he is afraid of putting pressure on you to step into a relationship with him if he shares his true feelings.

I say, take it slow. If you like him back, drop some obvious hints his way so he can pick them up, that might motivate him to be more open and forward about his feelings.

Thank you everyone.

I wouldn’t say he is all that shy but he isn’t also very forward with topics like this but it’s almost like there is subtle hints here and there but nothing to make me move forward with it. I almost don’t wanna say anything cause i don’t want to make our friendship awkward or take it the wrong way. I myself am quite a shy person and can sometimes not be very confident. I also tend to over think things without sometimes just going with the flow which can sometimes make me back out of saying certain things which probably makes this a little harder haha

He sounds like he's interested to me but doesn't know how to bring it up in case he gets shot down. I've had this happen to me in the past and it's tough to decipher. I think you should maybe ask him if he'd like to go out as more than just friends sometime I suspect he will.

I'm on the fence. Part of me agrees with wise part with the others.

I think it's giving false hope to tell anyone 'he likes you for sure'

We don't know that

We're getting the info from one side, one hopeful side who could very well be taking off the cuff comments and exaggerating them. Not on purpose of course but anyone who's been here a while knows when we like someone we tend to see things and notice things the average person wouldn't

Shy or not he's had a girlfriend before so he knows how it's done, unless the guy is 13 his flirty talk that isn't backed up, means it's not backed up, nothing to get hopeful about. Until he does something, shy or not, it is what it is

Hey figureitout23!

Makes perfect sense what you are saying! It is only one side, i'm not hopeful in him liking me. I'm not sure if there is anything there in the romantic sense?! (from my end anyway!) Either way I'm not completely ready to commit after coming out of a 10 year relationship - need time for me. I just wanted to get some outside voices to get a perspective on things just so he isn't getting the wrong end of the stick? I don't want him to feel like i strung him along if he has got the wrong idea.

Some of the things he has said to me makes me think hmmm? but then other times I feel like he feels nothing. He's very open and keeps talking about meeting up and going on holiday together (this is normal for friends to do this, but he just wants it just me and him). I've tried to cut back on the contact slightly, We was talking on the phone every night. Its just nice to hear different opinions and if there is anyone else thinking the same as me or if its just me overthinking... as normal!

As i've said i'm no good at telling if someone is flirting or not. I was in a 10 year relationship and engaged with someone since. We broke up in December. Majority of my teen years and early adulthood was spent with one person and one person only. So needless to say I am so rusty at all this haha. Sorry if I ramble and not making too much sense!

What is it you would like to see happening? With this or in general. A friendship or a dating situation? Has he asked you out on a specific one-on-one date? If not assume it's a friendship. Read the book "He's Just Not That Into You", it may help you sort out the romantically interested from the friendly.

Have you tried pursuing dating through dating apps or in real life? This way it's clear that it's a dating situation...or not. It's not as nebulous as this situation which sounds more like a friendship.

We was talking on the phone every night. I was in a 10 year relationship and engaged with someone since. We broke up in December.

I'd say he definitely has attraction for you, but is also willing to just go along with being "friends" until you make a move