Holy Sh*. Dating in L.A. has got to be insane (an observation)

I'm using some dating app out of a sense of curiosity, loneliness, fear, etc. I'm curious to see what this is like now that I'm newly abandoned by my ex. In using one mobile app. Literally every woman looks to be upper class (compared to me), white, and a model. Except for one person so far who shared a photo of herself in a hoodie. This... is going to be tough. This has been just an observation.

This is a city where photos like this actually ARE NOT FAKE. Which makes the entire process intimidating. Sigh. Damn.

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Meh, don't get duped by photos. It's the light, the pose, the angle etc etc.

They look okay, nothing amazing. You need to get some confidence.

Meh, don't get duped by photos. It's the light, the pose, the angle etc etc.

Some of these photos are very professional, yes. Still a surprising assortment of people. Very few regular women in that list.

Well, keep in mind that the photos people post on dating profiles are the best of the best photos they have.... also those look like professionals took them. They might not look like THAT good on a daily basis or IRL at all.

Regardless, don't let it stop you from messaging women you find interesting, even if they seem out of your league to you. Maybe you don't know what league you are in, perhaps you're in a higher league than you give yourself credit for. Anyways, regardless, you will have to prepare yourself for a mountain of rejection in the dating world in general, esp. if you are using dating apps. Don't let it get you down or stop trying, it just comes with the territory and happens to everyone.

They're out of my league. Look-wise and class-wise.

They look okay, nothing amazing. You need to get some confidence.

^This. I'm kind of a little surprised what you see in these pics that's so extraordinary. Yeah, photos are good quality and some obviously professional shots, but guess what. People who are highly photogenic can be quite different looking in real life.

Find some confidence and don't place so much stock into a pic. Especially don't try to read nonsense like upper class...... smh....

In some of the photos they're attending very expensive places and consistently wearing very fashionable clothing. I don't know, I just take that as a sign of class. But yes, I do not have much confidence.

Some of these photos are very professional, yes. Still a surprising assortment of people. Very few regular women in that list.

These are 6.5-7 with make up and good photos. Not bad looking obviously but nothing spectacular. I know girls that look like an 8-9 in photos but in real life they are average. Most important is how you carry yourself.

They look okay, nothing amazing. You need to get some confidence.

What are you on about? They're very attractive women.

I can't get a date to save my life, but I would never even try with these ladies as they're way out of my league.

They look slightly above average to me. I guess I'm not seeing what you're seeing. Maybe 7's to 8's at best.

And yes, remember they use angles and lighting to their advantage.

I agree with the others

They're nothing to write home about. If you were to see them in person and not all dolled up, I don't think you'd be too impressed

With that said, nothing is more unattractive than a lack of confidence. Confidence is a must have for anyone who's dating whether they live in L.A or Ohio.

Get working on that pronto and best of luck!

In some of the photos they're attending very expensive places and consistently wearing very fashionable clothing. I don't know, I just take that as a sign of class. But yes, I do not have much confidence.

You haven't heard about plumbers who b*ng female lawyers? You have to use it to your advantage!

OP;

Confidence is a good thing and I would never want to sway you from gaining it, but I'd also be cautious listening to advice telling you that they're "within your grasp", so to speak.

You know better than anyone here what sort of league you're at. That doesn't mean you shouldn't swipe right or talk to these women (and if you get the opportunity for the latter, I highly encourage it), but I'd recommend to remain realistic.

Photos are all lies.

What are you on about? They're very attractive women.

 

I can't get a date to save my life, but I would never even try with these ladies as they're way out of my league.

If you think like that you'll never get someone well rounded and totally awesome haha. Love yourself, no such things as leagues.

What are you on about? They're very attractive women.

 

I can't get a date to save my life, but I would never even try with these ladies as they're way out of my league.

......I mean.....maybe that's why you can't get a date to save your life? If average women are so far above your league in your eyes, your confidence is shot to dust and that will make all women not give you the time of day. Yes, these ladies look slightly better than average in pics, in real life, they are just about 6-7, aka average. You gotta learn how to see through touched up pics. Both you and OP.

I have always dated very well rounded, intelligent and attractive men (often head turners). The cream of the crop if u will *rolls eyes*

It's about how you view yourself. I don't think I'm a movie star but I have confidence. You have to believe you're fabulous lol...If you don't love yourself who would.

Good looking people are people too. They have insecurities and issues too. Treat them like human beings, not mannequins to be gawked at.

If you think like that you'll never get someone well rounded and totally awesome haha. Love yourself, no such things as leagues.

It depends on your perspective of what a league is. I'm not one in believing physical appearance is the sole characteristic that defines someone's league. I think it's measured by a range of things like intellect, social status, wealth, career progression etc.

I'm not saying a 4/10 male plumber can't get an 8/10 female lawyer, but it's reasonable to expect both would have preferences for matches of a similar degree.

......I mean.....maybe that's why you can't get a date to save your life? If average women are so far above your league in your eyes, your confidence is shot to dust and that will make all women not give you the time of day. Yes, these ladies look slightly better than average in pics, in real life, they are just about 6-7, aka average. You gotta learn how to see through touched up pics. Both you and OP.

Not making this thread about me, as I'm fairly certain you know my story, but to address your point; I've been told on ENA I could do modelling and in fact have been scouted for such a job, thus one could consider that as a decent league, and yet no woman in any league gives me the time of day. Though that's my experience, it could differ for OP (and all he needs to do is take the chance and swipe right!).

Oh, and as an avid user of Photoshop, I can see the edits fine. :)

Leagues in terms of more than looks do exist, but one shouldn't sabotage themselves before they even try.

Leagues in terms of more than looks do exist, but one shouldn't sabotage themselves before they even try.

Agreed, hence why I recommended that the OP swipe right and see how it goes.

Those apps are tough as nails to begin with, he'd be shooting himself in the foot if he didn't both trying.

Some of you people are crazy and insincere.

Some of you people are crazy and insincere.

They're giving you advice. Some of it conflicts with other people's opinion, but that does not mean they're insincere.

Word of advice: Don't insult the people you ask advice from.

I have always dated very well rounded, intelligent and attractive men (often head turners). The cream of the crop if u will *rolls eyes*

 

It's about how you view yourself. I don't think I'm a movie star but I have confidence. You have to believe you're fabulous lol...If you don't love yourself who would.

 

Good looking people are people too. They have insecurities and issues too. Treat them like human beings, not mannequins to be gawked at.

This is nuts. Dating for women is different than for men. Many differences. Women have many more options in who they can date at least because more men are willing to act as the aggressor/pursuer. This comes with risks for women of course as women are more at risk when dealing with strange men (obviously there are more examples of dangerous men out there). Men on the other hand have to, understandably, deal with women who are cautious, picky, and careful. Many men can not simply pick and choose who they want to date. We have to wait and see who responds to our advances; who doesn't rebuff us; etc. I literally am confronted with going on a date with a woman because she'll be one of the few who may agree to do so. It's either that or I don't date.

They're giving you advice. Some of it conflicts with other people's opinion, but that does not mean they're insincere.

 

Word of advice: Don't insult the people you ask advice from.

It wasn't originally my intention to ask advice. I was just pointing out the observation of dating profiles in L.A. However I do believe some opinions here are very narrow. Looks, class (and I haven't even mentioned race!) play huge parts in dating and courting. Here's some interesting stats regarding race - https://theblog.okcupid.com/race-and-attraction-2009-2014-107dcbb4f060