Are we just friends?

I am so confused by one of my guy friends...

My friend and I have been friends for about 3 years now.The first 2 years, we were not so close.

This last couple of months, we have grown really close. We see each other about twice a week, if I have a hard day at work, I call him, he takes me for a drink to talk about it. He initiators contact most of the time, we talk everyday. We tell eachother that we love eachother... he even calls me love and honey.

However, non of our hang outs are actually dates, just us hanging out, him coming over to my apartment, drinks.. etc. biggest problem I have, he is openly dating other women. He goes on dates weekly, and tells me about them. He never makes it to second dates, but every time he mentions another woman it breaks my heart.

I know he would do anything for me.. I know he totally and completely has my back. I have his too. But the fact that I have feelings, worries me.

Guess my question is... what should I do in this situation?

Is there a probability he likes me back? Should I just cut him off?

It could be the start of something good. You are not just a “friend” I can guarantee that. How to proceed it could be tricky without knowing more. Have you kissed? How old are you both? How deeply does he share about his dates? Have you dated other guys that he has known about?

We are both early 30s.

We have never kissed. He tried once, I really long time ago. I declined. Because I knew he was seeing other girls.

The most detailed he gets is telling me he went on a date. Nothing else. I also don’t usually ask for details.

Yes, sometimes when I date, I tell him about it.

Sounds like my situation. Sounds like he likes you. The question is- do you want to go further than friends with him? It sounds like he would go for it. But the scary part is taking that step. I’m trying to ask my guy friend to dinner and I’m petrified. Good luck!

I want it to go further of course.

But I can’t make the first move unless I know it will be a positive from him!

Good luck to you too! Let me know how it goes

Well that’s the tough part- taking the risk - you never know if it will be positive from him or not. I’m in the same boat!

I am so confused by one of my guy friends...

 

My friend and I have been friends for about 3 years now.The first 2 years, we were not so close.

 

This last couple of months, we have grown really close. We see each other about twice a week, if I have a hard day at work, I call him, he takes me for a drink to talk about it. He initiators contact most of the time, we talk everyday. We tell eachother that we love eachother... he even calls me love and honey.

 

However, non of our hang outs are actually dates, just us hanging out, him coming over to my apartment, drinks.. etc. biggest problem I have, he is openly dating other women. He goes on dates weekly, and tells me about them. He never makes it to second dates, but every time he mentions another woman it breaks my heart.

 

I know he would do anything for me.. I know he totally and completely has my back. I have his too. But the fact that I have feelings, worries me.

 

Guess my question is... what should I do in this situation?

Is there a probability he likes me back? Should I just cut him off?

From a guy's perspective... I have a good female friend that we talk a lot on the phone/fb, hang out a lot, buy gifts for each other etc.. I think(not sure) she likes me but I like her only as a friend. It looks like were are together but we are not, we are just friends and personally I wouldn't want something more. In my case I hope she doesn't take this step because I will have to reject her and cut her off.

That being said, in your case the guy tried to kiss you once. It's safe to assume that at least he likes you. Maybe you need to give it a try.

I am so confused by one of my guy friends...

 

My friend and I have been friends for about 3 years now.The first 2 years, we were not so close.

 

This last couple of months, we have grown really close. We see each other about twice a week, if I have a hard day at work, I call him, he takes me for a drink to talk about it. He initiators contact most of the time, we talk everyday. We tell eachother that we love eachother... he even calls me love and honey.

 

However, non of our hang outs are actually dates, just us hanging out, him coming over to my apartment, drinks.. etc. biggest problem I have, he is openly dating other women. He goes on dates weekly, and tells me about them. He never makes it to second dates, but every time he mentions another woman it breaks my heart.

 

I know he would do anything for me.. I know he totally and completely has my back. I have his too. But the fact that I have feelings, worries me.

 

Guess my question is... what should I do in this situation?

Is there a probability he likes me back? Should I just cut him off?

Just have an honest discussion with him and tell him you have feelings for him and see he how he responds and acts to it. Maybe, he has feelings for you too, but you will never know until you make the first move. In today's world its ok if a woman comes out and tells a guy she has feelings for him or asks him out. Some guys are feeling the same way and don't know how to tell the girl they are friends with that they like her more than a friend too and are way to scared to make that first move. All you can do is see what happens from there. If he doesn't then can you stay close friends and just appreciate a good guy friend??

From a guy's perspective... I have a good female friend that we talk a lot on the phone/fb, hang out a lot, buy gifts for each other etc.. I think(not sure) she likes me but I like her only as a friend. It looks like were are together but we are not, we are just friends and personally I wouldn't want something more. In my case I hope she doesn't take this step because I will have to reject her and cut her off.

 

That being said, in your case the guy tried to kiss you once. It's safe to assume that at least he likes you. Maybe you need to give it a try.

That's an interesting perspective dias. If you have a close female friend, and if you don't mind me asking, how come you wouldn't give her a chance at being a girl friend?

That's an interesting perspective dias. If you have a close female friend, and if you don't mind me asking, how come you wouldn't give her a chance at being a girl friend?

Because although I like her personality and we have fun together I don't find her physically attractive. It's not that she is bad looking but, well, not my taste....

The second thing is, she mentions kids now and then which means we do not have the same goals.

Are you dating? Do you tell him about your dating life? Why do his dates never work? Don't just cut him off or get jealous, tell him you are developing feelings for him. See how he responds.

However, non of our hang outs are actually dates, just us hanging out, him coming over to my apartment, drinks.. etc. biggest problem I have, he is openly dating other women. He goes on dates weekly, and tells me about them. He never makes it to second dates

Why not just ask him? If you're not able to have this conversation with him, what should that tell you?

Because although I like her personality and we have fun together I don't find her physically attractive. It's not that she is bad looking but, well, not my taste....

 

The second thing is, she mentions kids now and then which means we do not have the same goals.

I see thank you for explaining that dias. I have often wondered that with the guys I have experienced and I was to chicken to ask them, Lol. Because I would get the same thing you said on here; that I have a good personality, fun to hang out with, I'm beautiful and far from ugly and yet these guys told me they wouldn't date me but never explained why. So in my head I thought ok if I have all these qualities and I am not ugly then why couldn't one of these guys give me a chance? It didn't make sense to me.

When you say not physically attractive & "taste" does that mean you like only certain features on a woman? For example, her eyes HAVE to be blue, she HAS to have this type of body or she HAS to have brown hair? Is that what you mean. I know you can't speak for all guys but it does help to get one guys perspective to try and make sense of it.

The goals part I totally understand a relationship isn't going to work well if both don't have the same goals in mind. I hear you loud and clear there.

 

When you say not physically attractive & "taste" does that mean you like only certain features on a woman? For example, her eyes HAVE to be blue, she HAS to have this type of body or she HAS to have brown hair? Is that what you mean. I know you can't speak for all guys but it does help to get one guys perspective to try and make sense of it.

 

When I said(wrote) that she is not bad looking I meant it. Not gorgeous but average looking, girl next door type.

Quite funny you are asking me this question because especially me I do not discriminate lol. All races and colors are fine with me but I want a girl that I find attractive which usually means she is a little bit above average in terms of appearance. I am not looking for drop dead gorgeous either, but a girl that I can find physically attractive (the "physical chemistry" let's say). It's nice to have fun, talk for hours, “understand” each other etc but when it comes to the physical aspect what are you going to do? If sex is like a chore, well, it's not fun.

Yeah, I go on dates, and tell him about them as well.

I don’t know why his dates don’t last... he once said he just was not looking for anything serious with these girls!

There’s one specifically that he told me he liked, a week later, he’d gotten rid of her.

Ok you answered your own questions. You friendzoned him by talking about your dates, other guys, love-life, etc. Secondly, now you know he's looking for hookups, nothing serious.

Yeah, I go on dates, and tell him about them as well. he once said he just was not looking for anything serious with these girls!

Ok you answered your own questions. You friendzoned him by talking about your dates, other guys, love-life, etc. Secondly, now you know he's looking for hookups, nothing serious.

Maybe he’s just looking for nothing serious “with those girls” because he is looking for something serious with you! Go for it.

I am so confused by one of my guy friends...

 

My friend and I have been friends for about 3 years now.The first 2 years, we were not so close.

 

This last couple of months, we have grown really close. We see each other about twice a week, if I have a hard day at work, I call him, he takes me for a drink to talk about it. He initiators contact most of the time, we talk everyday. We tell eachother that we love eachother... he even calls me love and honey.

 

However, non of our hang outs are actually dates, just us hanging out, him coming over to my apartment, drinks.. etc. biggest problem I have, he is openly dating other women. He goes on dates weekly, and tells me about them. He never makes it to second dates, but every time he mentions another woman it breaks my heart.

 

I know he would do anything for me.. I know he totally and completely has my back. I have his too. But the fact that I have feelings, worries me.

 

Guess my question is... what should I do in this situation?

Is there a probability he likes me back? Should I just cut him off?

You are just friends. If you stick around you will end with unrequited love. It's a horrible thing.

Maybe he’s just looking for nothing serious “with those girls” because he is looking for something serious with you! Go for it.

I can’t think of it like this. I feel like I’d be lying to myself. I tend to believe that if a man wants something, he’ll go for it: if he wanted me, he’d have gone for it?

You are just friends. If you stick around you will end with unrequited love. It's a horrible thing.

So cut him off?

I usually try to reduce how much we talk... try to end call conversations .... but he will double text... or ask me questions after I’ve told him to have a nice day.. He’s confusing!

If he hasn't asked you out and he's dating others assume you are friends.

He’s confusing!

I disagree with everyone - I think he likes you and because you are friends perhaps he is afraid to make a move. I think you need to tell him how you feel. Or if you are scared to do that, try and make a move, even something simple, like giving him a longer hug than normal. Go for it.

I disagree with everyone - I think he likes you and because you are friends perhaps he is afraid to make a move. I think you need to tell him how you feel. Or if you are scared to do that, try and make a move, even something simple, like giving him a longer hug than normal. Go for it.

I actually don’t think he does. I think He just cares about me as his friend. If he liked me, I really believe he would have made a move.

I’ve decided to let it go and just be his friend.

Did you make a move on your situation?

I actually don’t think he does. I think He just cares about me as his friend. If he liked me, I really believe he would have made a move.

I’ve decided to let it go and just be his friend.

Did you make a move on your situation?

:-( I still think you should go for it! Yes, I did, we went out over the weekend. He was very sweet and dressed up and was a gentleman, and I think it was a date. but I'm not sure. He did call me hot, which he's never done before. And he asked me to go on a trip with him, but I'm not sure if it was a joke or not. We might tentatively hang out for later this week, I really hope it works out.