Why can't my boyfriend keep his promises to me and do what he agrees on?

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 5 months and everything has been great until this last month. I went to my best friends house for three days just to have some girl time. Well while I was there my boyfriend did a disappearing act and got his whole family to lie to me about where he was. I was freaking out because I was worried something bad happened to him. I asked all his family members that lived at the house with us and they all lied and said they didn't know where he was. My boyfriend even told me he asked them all not to tell me where he was. Turns out he was at a friends house whose a drug dealer and was there with his best friend and his best friends girlfriend getting messed up on ecstasy and xanex. When I got home we had a huge talk about everything that happened and what we needed to work on for the both of us. He promised he wouldn't do any hard core drugs and would only stick to smoking weed with me. Well his parents do a hard core drug which both live in the same house as me. The other day his father offered him some of the drug and he told me he really wanted to do it and we did it agreeing that it would be our last time; but that's what we said the last time. After we said we wouldn't do it again, he started visiting his parents room more frequently. For the first week or two after the talk we had, when he would visit his dads room, he would invite me in and we would all just talk and hang out and maybe smoke a bowl of bud here and there. Well after the first week or two he stopped inviting me in there. He started going in there room with the door shut and rarely locked, but he would make sure the door was unlocked while he was in there. I would knock on the door and he would come out and say he would be out in a minute and that he is talking to his dad about something serious and private. This has been his excuse for the past week and he told me what they talked about, but when he's in the room I can hear his father or step-mother striking the lighter and hitting the pipe for the other hard core drug while he's in there. Today I called him out on being in there while they do it. He said his step-mother was hitting it when he was about to leave the room. But for the past week he hasn't invited me in his parents room and when I try to go on there he tells me he will be out in a minute and doesn't let me in, but he still comes out minutes later. I don't know what this means? I can't trust anything when he is in that room alone with his parents. I don't know what to believe or think when he is in there. What do I do? Another thing is when I try talking to him about my problems with him, he tells me "I'm done talking to you because all you want to do is argue!" And all I'm trying to do is talk my problems out with him, but the only reason I have problems with him is because of the disappearing act he did on me and that he always goes straight into his parents room after he smokes a cigarette and goes to the restroom every morning when he wakes up rather that kiss me good morning! He promises me things and doesn't keep them or trying to delay his promise or procrastinate the promise. He rarely hugs or kisses me on his own time and I feel like I'm always the one having to "ask" for a kiss or hug or if we can even have sex sometimes. I'm tired of being the one that puts all the effort in. I've talk to him about everything I've said on here probably two to three times now and he changes for maybe at the most a week and then goes back to how he was or twists things up and does something else to curve around what he said he would do or the promise he promised me. I don't know what to do anymore and I've tried everything I could think of and I am out of options. Help me find a solution? I love him so much and he already has a ring to propose to me, but I don't know when he will ask, but I love him like crazy and I don't want to lose him. I want to work things through, but I'm tired of me putting in all the effort and I'm tired of being the one that always tried to talk things through and get told "I'm don't arguing with you" every time I try to talk to him. What d

Your boyfriend is a drug addict and as long as he's an addict the drug will always come first. You don't have him to lose. If you marry him, you'll just spend the rest of your life supporting an addict.

NO addict can keep promises. EVER. While addicted to drugs. The drug will always come first . Every single time without a doubt, period. So unless he is willing to go to drug rehab, ditch all his friends and ditch the enabling family he's never going to be clean . And unless he's clean he's never going to keep a promise to you .

You are wasting your time .

Another other problem you have with him is he can't be trusted. He lies to you about his activities and whereabouts.

You might loooove him, but does he really love you? He doesn't seem to care about your feelings much.

Do you love yourself enough to believe you deserve better?

Hold on are you not just as bad or have I read it wrong ..

You have been together only 5 months and live with him and his parents ? His father invites you in his bedroom so you can all sit and do a bowl of weed in together ... that is wrong on every level of what I call parenting so I really don't know how you can draw a line under what is ok in this whole scenario .

Are you upset that he does drugs without you?

Do you two work? Who pays for all the drugs?

I understand the lying part that would upset anyone but he will continue to lie especially on drugs they make people do and say stupid stuff. As for the lying my fiance has lied to me a few times and each time he was caught he learned his lesson as to each time I was hurt, obviously he cares more about drugs then you unfortunately

Do you really want to marry into that family of losers? How will you feel when they invite your kids into that room?

Certainly, you want more out of your life than this pathetic mess!

Do you really want to marry into that family of losers? How will you feel when they invite your kids into that room?

 

Certainly, you want more out of your life than this pathetic mess!

did everyone one else miss this bit but me and you

I want a positive outcome in this relationship. No more negative answers please. I don't want to end it with him, I want to help him and be there for him and make this relationship work! I care and so does he. But we need help on how to work through it together?

The problem Haley, is the drugs. The picture you paint about the drugs is quite alarming. He is doing some kind of hard core drug. If you want to help him, you two need to get out that that drug infested house, get your own place and avoid the drug addicted parents at all costs. His father and step mother are disgusting parents, plain and simple. If you two don't get away from that horror show, it won't end well.