Failed my drivers test 3 times! Having trouble staying motivated.

Title says it all. I've been driving for quite awhile (8+ months or so) with my permit. I'm 25, and got my permit a few years ago...but a very deadly accident I was involved in when I was around 19 turned me off to driving for years before I was able to work up the courage to want to attempt to get my license again.

First time was honestly almost perfect, my only issue was slightly bumping into a cone on the 90 degrees back. So, I worked on my 90 degrees back skills. This test was at DMV #1.

Second test, I did the 90, parallel, downhill parks, turns, everything perfectly...and then got confused by a 4-lane one way turning onto a 2-lane two way near the end of the test and very briefly went into the wrong lane before correcting myself. Automatic fail. This test was at DMV #2.

Third test was just disastrous for some reason. I got scared at every single intersection, took a long time on the 90 degrees back, completely did horribly (knocked over a cone) on the parallel parking, and almost turned into oncoming traffic who had the right of way. Needless to say, I failed with flying colors. This was at DMV #1 again.

I'm not really sure what to do. I practice every single day, I practice 90 degrees/parallel parking as much as I conceivably can. I've even taken behind the wheel classes. I am always calm and collected behind the wheel and go the speed limit.

But for some reason when the test starts it's as if everything I learned has gone completely out the window...and I have absolutely no courage or confidence whatsoever. I make every mistake possible, I make foolish mistakes I've never, EVER made while driving...I just don't get it. I have massive performance anxiety to the point where I came close to tears on all 3 tests when I began making mistakes.

I find it so insane that I can drive so calmly and well when not testing, and can do 90s and parallels with ease when not testing...but when I test, it's all just HORRIBLE.

I'm really afraid that by the next test I'm simply just not going to care any more and because of that, I'll just keep making mistakes. It is not easy to keep my confidence that I'll pass and keep telling myself "next time" I'll do better, when that obviously isn't the case. I don't know what to do.

Examination anxiety. Common enough.

Maybe try hypnotherapy to try to quell the anxiety. NLP.

Can't do any harm to try.

Examination anxiety. Common enough.

 

Maybe try hypnotherapy to try to quell the anxiety. NLP.

 

Can't do any harm to try.

I'm sure it might but...after a little research that seems like an unnecessarily expensive route to quell my anxiety. I just need to figure out some proper relaxation techniques, learn how to pretend the instructor is just my dad or something so I'm not so frightened that the second I make a mistake I'll instantly be failed.

Or, maybe I just need to suck it up and calm down. I don't know. I'm frustrated that I've failed 3 times now, but it is obviously a sign that I'm simply not ready for my license. So I can only trust in the instructors and keep working harder to...improve even more, I guess. Practice more. Practice relaxation techniques while behind the wheel. Maybe I answered my own questions and just needed to rant, who knows.

Or you could take a week or two off from driving and then try again. Sometimes it helps if you take some time off of things.

Nothing is too expensive if it is going to help.

Anyhow, it is up to you. You could try visualization. Look it up.

"In psychological practice, visualization is often used to mentally rehearse an action or bring a patient to a state of relaxation. Dr. Cathryne Maciolek, a D.C. area psychotherapist, uses visualization in her clinical practice. She quotes Rosabeth Moss Kanter to illustrate the power of the technique, "A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more." She explains that visualization is a means of control in an uncontrollable situation."

"For patients battling anxiety, Dr. Maciolek uses visualization to create "mental vacations." This technique involves imagining a place that is calm and comforting. With one patient who suffered from severe anxiety, using pure visualization to imagine a serene vacation spot was almost impossible. With the aid of a concrete visual, a picture of the spot depicted on poster board, the image calmed the patient when she was feeling anxious.

Dr. Maciolek states that "Visualization is not only used to cope with psychological diagnoses such as anxiety and depression, but it can be used in our everyday lives." She goes on to explain various uses of visualization, such as using imagery before personal or professional interaction when one can imagine successfully giving a presentation or taking an exam."

I went to the doctors and got a prescription for beta blockers. They were amazing for keeping me calm and I passed fourth time

I don't know if this is applicable, OP, but in other situations in which you need to perform /pass examination, concessions may be considered for special circumstances and perhaps the block of anxiety stemming from that atrocious accident would be relevant.

*so, so glad you are doing well after that and absolutely good on you for your courage!

Could you perhaps speak to someone at your local DMV, and see if they have any ideas or suggestions for your specific needs?

I don't know if this is applicable, OP, but in other situations in which you need to perform /pass examination, concessions may be considered for special circumstances and perhaps the block of anxiety stemming from that atrocious accident would be relevant.

 

*so, so glad you are doing well after that and absolutely good on you for your courage!

 

Could you perhaps speak to someone at your local DMV, and see if they have any ideas or suggestions for your specific needs?

Huh. I suppose I could speak to someone about it yeah...I never really considered talking to them about my accident because I figured they just wouldn't care, but it definitely wouldn't hurt to talk to them about it I suppose. Perhaps they can offer me some advice or give me insight. Thanks for the suggestion, I never would have thought to do something like that!

Congratulations! I passed on my third time in 8 days - and I was 49! It was an awful experience. I tried to do the Brady bunch thing and picture the instructor in underwear lol. What also helped was I took a lesson and practiced right before each test.

I didn't pass until my 5th test; after failing three, I did a short course which involved kinesiology, relaxation and various other techniques. I think I'd have been OK if I'd had beta blockers at the time, too.

I know very well what you mean about being fine until you're in a test situation...

P.S. With the one I did pass, I had a design job to do with a very tight deadline, and the driving test was annoying because it took two hours out of my day. I didn't have enough anxiety to care about the test because I was feeling so stressed about my work!

Just keep going.

What does it matter if you do the test 3 times or 10 times or 100 times? Is there a maximum number of times you can take the test?

I remember doing my driving test years and years ago. I was also nervous. I'm not sure why we wrap up so much ego into it.

Stop telling people you are going for the test, so that you don't have the social pressure of "soooo... how did it goooo??". Just let it be your little secret until you pass.

And if anyone asks how many times it took? (Not sure why anyone would ask) just say "tooo many!"

What does it matter if you do the test 3 times or 10 times or 100 times? Is there a maximum number of times you can take the test?

The cost (which in the UK is £85/£98 including the theory test), the time, energy and cost of lessons, and the waning in confidence which the OP is experiencing. Statistics indicate that the pass rate drops, the higher the number of tests taken by repeat candidates. But no, there isn't a maximum number of tests you can take... at least at the moment.

The cost (which in the UK is £85/£98 including the theory test), the time, energy and cost of lessons, and the waning in confidence which the OP is experiencing. Statistics indicate that the pass rate drops, the higher the number of tests taken by repeat candidates. But no, there isn't a maximum number of tests you can take... at least at the moment.

Ok... well, my words were meant to encourage (not to belittle the problem). Apologies if it came off that way...

What I meant was that the more pressure you put on yourself to pass the test, the less likely you are to pass the test. So - I don't think it makes sense to focus on all of those horrible things?

The only thing you can do if you fail the test (other than practice and relaxation exercises, etc) is to have bull-like determination and take the test again. And again. And again. And again if you have to.

If you are good when not being tested, then the less pressure you put on yourself to succeed, the more likely you are to succeed, IMO.

But that's just my opinion.

The cost (which in the UK is £85/£98 including the theory test), the time, energy and cost of lessons, and the waning in confidence which the OP is experiencing. Statistics indicate that the pass rate drops, the higher the number of tests taken by repeat candidates. But no, there isn't a maximum number of tests you can take... at least at the moment.

My score rose from automatic failure (but that was largely due to the examiner -and I am not refusing responsibility -she was bizarre) to one point shy of passing to 3 points off a perfect score (which was a high pass) -each time I learned from my mistakes.