My fiance left me and disapeared suddenly should I contact him ?

Dears, I need your advice , I am still in shock and pain I donto know what to do, I will tell you my story with this guy,

We have know each other for 8 months now, he officially engaged me in last April, we had plans for the marriage, he is 44 years old iam 36 I live in another country not my country,( I am not from US) he is from US, he came to visit me during this 8 months relationship 2 time, and was preparing for the third in Sep.

he seemed to be very generous and understanding in everything, we never had any fight over anything, we used to talk every day for hours, he told me he talked about me to his family and they cant wait to meet me, he even sent me some money in the first on Aug.

in the end of Aug, my mother has passed away, it was a tough time in my life, as I was living with mom alone, I had to go back to my country I stayed there for almost 3 weeks, after the second week I called him he seemed to be very happy to hear my voice, he said now I should get you here to US to be with me I canot leave you alone there, he also promised me that he will come to the country where I live, when I come back from my country, so he will be beside me,

I came back to the country where I live , I tried to call him, his phone was switched off, he was not seen on whatsapp since the last time I talked to him from my country which was almost one week, I sent him an email asking is he is fine, but no reply, after almost 2 weeks , he was online on whatsapp. I sent him msg, like where are you, he didnot reply, or saw my msg, the next day he saw my msg, and he blocked me,

I asked my friend to check him on whatsapp, I give her the number, and I found out that his updated his pic on whatsapp to a picture for him and another girls hugging and kissing I am still in sock, and I donot know what to do, should I send him email and tell him he is a cheater or should I ignore this and move on as if nothing happened I love him that is the problem

thanks,sara

How much time, (days, hours) have you actually been together? (In each others physical presence.)

almost 2 months

The only thing that makes sense is that he never intended to be with you long term, bring you to the US or any of the promises he made you. For all you know, he could be married, but even if he isn't, he is definitely involved with someone else and probably has been even before you two met. Some people are sick like that, and enjoy messing with other people's minds and hearts. The biggest red flag should have been when he "got engaged" to you after less than 3 months of knowing you, and after only having seen you in person once or twice. Real life doesn't work that way.

When he realized there was nothing holding you back from being with him anymore and that you were free to go move in with him, he cut you off, because his intention was never to marry you; how would he have explained that to his girlfriend/wife? You were a nice distraction from a distance, but when $hit got real, he bailed.

I don't see a point in you contacting him again, he clearly wants nothing to do with you and this is not just something new that happened recently, like I said, he never intended for it to go anywhere so his mind was made up since the day he met you.

I know it's a tough pill to swallow, and it's unfortunate that people like him have to exist, but they do and you have to come to terms with the fact that this was just another online sham and move past it. Forget about him, there are tons of better men out there, honest and who will not lie and pretend and promise you the world only because they see it as "fun".

I still canot get it , if he is just playing why he bought me an engagement ring that cost 6000 US $, Iam so confused

Unfortunately it sounds like he changed his mind about sponsoring you on a fiance visa for the US and getting married.

He may have thought you were a scammer because you needed money.

Did you ever visit him in the US? Why do you think he changed his mind and went no contact and blocked you?

I live in another country not my country he is from US, he even sent me some money in the first on Aug.

I still canot get it , if he is just playing why he bought me an engagement ring that cost 6000 US $, Iam so confused

Did you have the ring appraised? Are you sure it's not a fake? Or, could it have been someone else's? Stolen? Because nothing else makes any sense.

He sent some pictures for engagement rings before and asked me to chose one and I still have the receipt of the ring as he forgot it in the bag of the ring, it is real not fake

I did not ask him for money at all, but he offered to help me , I even didnot like to go to USA I preferred to stay where I live here but because I wanted to be close to him I agreed to go to him as he canot leave his job and come here and after mom death I became free to go there

I never visited him in the US, I have no idea why he changed his mind really and who is this girl with him in the pic

Unfortunately it sounds like he changed his mind about sponsoring you on a fiance visa for the US and getting married.

 

He may have thought you were a scammer because you needed money.

 

Did you ever visit him in the US? Why do you think he changed his mind and went no contact and blocked you?

I did not ask him for money at all, but he offered to help me , I even didnot like to go to USA I preferred to stay where I live here but because I wanted to be close to him I agreed to go to him as he canot leave his job and come here and after mom death I became free to go there

I never visited him in the US, I have no idea why he changed his mind really and who is this girl with him in the pic

and in case he may thought I only want money what should I do to get him back and change his mind

How did he know you needed money? It sounds like you knew he would not leave the US because of work. How did you meet? did you want to live in the US with him?

I did not ask him for money. he canot leave his job and come here. I never visited him in the US

Sounds like a scammer!

He has probably done this with lots of woman. It doesn't sound like you knew each other well enough to get engaged which also raises a red flag! Two visits in eight months is not long enough!

Did he proclaim his undying love right away?

That is another red flag. Sounds like he is married already.

As for the ring that is odd and also giving you money.

then again he could be wealthy and money is no object to him.

Be careful next time you go online dating sites, best to meet people in your area.

Lisa

You don't buy something that costs $6k and then forget the receipt in the bag.

He's a game player.

How did he know you needed money? It sounds like you knew he would not leave the US because of work. How did you meet? did you want to live in the US with him?[/QUOT

 

my phone was stolen from me and I was sad so he said I will send you money and go buy a new phone I said no to him many times but he insisted,

Well, I asked him if he can stay here where I live after we marry but he said he has work and canot so I accepted to go to USA after marraige

Well at least it was brief and he visited you and you got a phone, some money and a "6000k ring" out of it. And you did not have to invest any money or travel, so all you lost was a guy who changed his mind after long distance dating.

Was this an international marriage site? Most people don't talk about marriage after 2 visits

I was sad so he said I will send you money and go buy a new phone. he said he has work and canot so I accepted to go to USA after marraige

Well at least it was brief and he visited you and you got a phone, some money and a "6000k ring" out of it. And you did not have to invest any money or travel, so all you lost was a guy who changed his mind after long distance dating.

 

Was this an international marriage site? Most people don't talk about marriage after 2 visits

And what about my feelings and love to him? which are more worthy than anything

Your feelings are yours alone, Sara.

So now it is time to love yourself. He is not worthy of your love and never was. Please re-read the great advice from the other posters here.

I often ask myself under what rocks these creeps usually live.

Only two months!

Sorry Sara, it's not love and he's certainly not marriage material.

It's been two months. Getting that attached to someone that quickly is concerning. You can't know if you love someone that early, you can't even know if they would be good to marry.

I think you've got caught up in the fantasy that this guy sold you - that you were going to marry and live in America and have a great standard of living. And there's nothing wrong with that as long as you can step back from it. Get the ring appraised. If nothing you might still be able to get some money out of this.

And what about my feelings and love to him? which are more worthy than anything

You made 6k$ and a new phone over a 2 months relationship.

If 2 months makes you ohh so deeply in love with someone I think you might have bigger problems than the topic of this thread.

The sentiment you are feeling is called deception and rejection. Time will heal you.

Pawn the ring enjoy your life and learn from it.

Usually people loose money over this things you made a profit.

Win win

Dears Thank you so much for your support and advice, and yes Iam deeply in love with him, it has been 8 months talking to him everyday he advice me in everything in my life, he was always there to listen to all my thoughts , feelings and problems,

now I will send him the ring back, I have his address, I canot keep this ring with me, if he changed his mind I will not keep this ring with me, I will send it back to him, because nothing important for me than my feelings

thank you again for all your help guys, I will learn from this bad experience, though now I feel I canot look to any man, and I feel all men like him, but hopefully by time thins will get better,

No Sara, all men (most) are NOT the same. Unfortunately the net is plagued by people like this man. Why do they do what they do? Who knows, but you can be certain there is some "background" going on there....

Next time round, just one thing to remember. Any man you meet or wish to meet (online, in real life, whatever) is not supposed to "advise you on everything in your life". That is not a man's job, and the man you meet or date is not your father. If you need advice on any aspect, practical or otherwise, there are people out there who can advise you. also, it is not the man's job to listen to all your thoughts, feelings and particularly your problems. That is not what relationships are about.

Dears Thank you so much for your support and advice, and yes Iam deeply in love with him, it has been 8 months talking to him everyday he advice me in everything in my life, he was always there to listen to all my thoughts , feelings and problems,

now I will send him the ring back, I have his address, I canot keep this ring with me, if he changed his mind I will not keep this ring with me, I will send it back to him, because nothing important for me than my feelings

 

thank you again for all your help guys, I will learn from this bad experience, though now I feel I canot look to any man, and I feel all men like him, but hopefully by time thins will get better,

Keep the ring the guy wants nothing to do with you, why would you play yourself weak and act up like that. And if you are MADLY in love with someone you were really with for 2 months and had the ball to flake on you maybe you should look into that because you may be in love with a shadow or a concept.

Seriously its a rough patch but that guy had no real impact in your life. You are in love with a moment, an idea but you havent seen the guys true colours yet. If you did well then you have a thing for deceptive and abuse men. Please rationalize whats going on and realize the "deeply in love with "him" might be excessive

Fully endorse that Quidam.

Dears,

He called me and guess what he told me that he has a problem with his phone I acted very calm I showed him I was busy doing interested things in my life and whn i asked him about who is the girl in the poc he said that she is his cousin and she passed away like 2 weeks ago he asked me if i still want to go to US to be with him

Dears advice me what should i do now

Honestly i donot trust or beleive him but i love him