Should I take back my cheating X

Hi everyone. I have just opened a new account on here but did have a different account last year and had loads of really good advice on this forum so thought I would try and get some advice. I was with my X girlfriend for 18 months and we brok up last November. We had some great times but she nearly broke me mentally as I never trusted her and in the end I found out she had been sleeping with someone else the hole time we were together. I loved her and we had a great time together and dispite everything I do think she loved me. After we broke up I was a mess and she kept messaging me and for the last nine months she hasn't stopped messaging me and telling me she loves me. She said that she had counselling as she couldn't understand why she cheated.

After nine months I had just got to the stage where I didn't think about her every hour of every day and I bumped into her when we were a bit drunk and ended up sleeping together. She then text me a couple days ago and said that she wanted to talk to me and that if I didn't go to her house she would come to mine and wait outside until I got home. She wouldn't take no for an answer. I ended up going over to hers and she managed to talk me round saying that she thinks we were made to be together and that I should move in and marry her. She some how managed to talk me into staying the night. I do love her and have never stopped thinking about her but can't help thinking I would be a nervous wreck if I get back with her as I suffered from anxiety when I was with her and couldn't sleep.

I just wanted some advice. Had anyone got back with someone after they have cheated and things have been good. I can't believe I am even considering it to be honest as she really messed me up when I found out she had been cheating but the problem is I have been on my own for a long time and haven't been able to get her out of my head so I can't help thinking I need to give it a go at least. Whenever I met anyone else it never lasted as I was still in love with her. I have no idea what to do.

Yes, and they cheated again. Don't condone negative behavior. It only makes you weak and gives them the impression that they can do it again. SHE CHEATED ON YOU DURING YOUR ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP.

This wasn't some drunk one night stupor that people can find some stupid excuse for. This lasted a long time and she was probably emotionally involved with this man.

Repair your self esteem and date someone who actually respects you and the boundaries of your relationship.

If things go wrong or if she starts having second doubts, guess what she's going to do again?

Looks like you guys got into something complicated. Cheating behaviors do change, I believe they can change but they need to show that. For you guys though, you guys need to take time apart to see if it's really worth it and reflect upon each other. You need to find yourself, and find happiness in yourself before you try to be with her. Time apart, and no contact will help this. If she's been cot acting you for 9 months non stop tell her to stop, you guys need the time for no contact to realize and see if it's really worth it to save something like this. If she changed, and doesn't cheat anymore you can see her behavior change and her behavior to be more positive. I wish you luck, but I would take the time to not be talking to each other, or anything that matter to see if it's really worth it; and to see if she really did change.

Unfortunately it sounds like the guy she cheated with dumped her so she came running back. Marry her? fasten your seat-belt for more cheating, heartaches and drama.

she nearly broke me mentally as I never trusted her and in the end I found out she had been sleeping with someone else the hole time we were together. I ended up going over to hers and she managed to talk me round saying that she thinks we were made to be together and that I should move in and marry her.

]

She had finished with the guy when I found out but he was bribing her saying that he would tell me if she didn't keep seeing him. I read the messages on her Facebook.

I do agree about the heart ache and drama. It seems to follow her. Love the roller coaster lol

You said yourself you were a nervous wreck when you were with her, and couldn't sleep from the anxiety.

That's enough to get away, regardless of the cheating. She is forcing herself into your life("I'll wait at your door until you come home"?!?!) and likely only to make herself feel better for having cheated on you.

Maybe she saw the light. Maybe she has changed her ways.

But have you? Do you think you could be with her again and not feel the anxiety you spoke of?

For your own state of mind, block her on your phone, email, FB. Everything. The anxiety of putting yourself through her drama again is not worth it for a second. Complete no contact will bleach her toxicity out of your life over a period of a few months, you should have done it first time around to be fair. Look after yourself, not a cheater.

I don't even have to read the thread, the title is enough. The answer is no. No, you should not take back your cheating ex.

She also said she'd wait at your house if you said no, and "managed" to say a bunch of things about how you were made for each other? Manipulative as heck. Steer clear of this person.

and haven't been able to get her out of my head

Simple - you STOP MESSAGING AND SLEEPING WITH HER.

Duh.

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone for making the effort to reply. This forum has always been great for impartial honest advice. I know what your saying is true. She is very manipulative but for some reason she has some kind of hold on me. I did block her in every way and I was very nearly over her then I bumped into her whilst out for a drink. I think after so much time apart I had forgotten how manipulative she can be and had my guard down. Since then she messagedme 50 times in an evening persuading me to talk to her. It doesn't help when you spend all week on your own. She just tells me everything I want hear and knows she has a hold on me. It doesn't help that we both live in a small town so it's hard to avoid each other for a long time.

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone for making the effort to reply. This forum has always been great for impartial honest advice. I know what your saying is true. She is very manipulative but for some reason she has some kind of hold on me. I did block her in every way and I was very nearly over her then I bumped into her whilst out for a drink. I think after so much time apart I had forgotten how manipulative she can be and had my guard down. Since then she messagedme 50 times in an evening

]

I just wanted some advice. Had anyone got back with someone after they have cheated and things have been good. I can't believe I am even considering it to be honest as she really messed me up when I found out she had been cheating but the problem is I have been on my own for a long time and haven't been able to get her out of my head so I can't help thinking I need to give it a go at least. Whenever I met anyone else it never lasted as I was still in love with her. I have no idea what to do.

If you were going to be strong and keep her out of your life you would have blocked her by now. Since you haven't then just get on with a re-do.

Your going to be absolutely miserable without her so why don't you just give it a try and see how things go. You can always change your mind later and leave again if she reoffends. You say she said she got therapy so maybe that means she's learn about personal and romantic relationship boundaries that she won't cross and she won't let anyone else cross which will keep her loyal.

 

If you were going to be strong and keep her out of your life you would have blocked her by now. Since you haven't then just get on with a re-do.

I think your advice is quite irresponsible, he suffered anxiety from this woman's actions. Have you ever had anxiety?

Exactly how did you "bump" into her though, what were those circumstances entirely? Did you literally bump into each other unknowingly? Or did you see her across the room and go up and talk to her, or vice versa? Or does she know perhaps that you frequent a certain bar and "ended up" there, or vice versa?

I think your advice is quite irresponsible, he suffered anxiety from this woman's actions. Have you ever had anxiety?

I think she knows full well what she said - the OP isn't doing much to help himself though, so maybe he needs to get hurt again to see the light, is how I read that. Not that anyone DESERVES to get hurt.

Happydays...You need to post under your original account. Multiple accounts are not allowed.

Under review.