asking about past relationships

Ok, so I just got back with my ex and everything was going good for 2 months, then she lied about having to work on the weekend, then I confronted her and she said she just wanted to be alone that weekend and she didn't want to hurt my feelings, that's why she lied.

 

Am I allowed to ask the last name of one of her ex's or is that crossing the line? For the record, if I'm in a relationship with someone they could ask me anything about anyone and I would tell them without hesitation.

 

thanks!

Why the hell would you ask that? If you don't trust her then why bother dating her?

If she lied about having to work on a weekend, what makes you think she would tell you the truth regarding the name of her ex? I'm sorry, but this looks like a case of either pay now or pay later.

 

Without trust, you have nothing.

To see if she trusted me enough to tell me, I couldn't care less about this guy.

 

She was dating this guy and he was married and she told him she would never say anything to get him in trouble..

I don't think you should test someone you're in a relationship with like this. If she tells you she passes the 'test' if she doesn't want to tell you she fails and that means she doesn't trust you? I don't think that's fair.

Maybe I'm wrong but why is his last name such a big deal. It's not like I'm going to contact this person in anyway, shape, or form?

How did you find out she lied about work anyway?

I had a weird feeling and I went by her place and when she opened the door she said, "uh oh busted"...

Maybe I'm wrong but why is his last name such a big deal. It's not like I'm going to contact this person in anyway, shape, or form?

 

How does she know that you won't? I would be extremely suspicious if my current boyfriend ask me what's my ex's surname, like what does he want to do with this information? Frankly I would reconsider dating someone who is either a) so suspicious that he wants details of my past to check on me, or b) doesn't trust and wants to test me, and ultimately c) does not understand or respect privacy.

I had a weird feeling and I went by her place and when she opened the door she said, "uh oh busted"...

 

Did you ever react badly or negatively when she said in the past that she wants to spend time alone?

You don't need to know the first name never mind the last name.

If she doesn't tell you his name it's because as she said, she doesn't want to cause trouble for him. It would not be a test of trust between you.

You clearly don't trust her. Why?

Did you ever react badly or negatively when she said in the past that she wants to spend time alone?

Never ever nor would I period...

How does she know that you won't?

Why would you be in a relationship if you had *any* doubt that person may go off?

You clearly don't trust her. Why?

If you read the thread you would see, that she lied about having to work on the weekend when she didn't and we were supposed to hang out...

Why would you be in a relationship if you had *any* doubt that person may go off?

 

and why would you date someone you don't trust? What does getting her ex's name achieve? If she tells you, it means she's trustworthy and not telling means she's not? If she doesn't tell, it might very simply mean she cares about privacy, it's a boundary she's well within her right to uphold. Conversely, if you have a problem with her lying, then talk to her about this particular issue and nothing else, tell her that you don't accept lying, and if she was to lie to you again it's over (or alternatively you can decide it's over now, because she lied). I don't see what asking for her ex's name has to do with the issue at hand.

and why would you date someone you don't trust?

We were trying to work through this issue.

 

I don't see what asking for her ex's name has to do with the issue at hand.

Well, the ex's name came up at a different time, we were dealing with the lying thing separately...

We were trying to work through this issue.

 

 

Well, the ex's name came up at a different time, we were dealing with the lying thing separately...

 

Is this the only time she lied to you or is there more to the story? Why did his ex's name came up?

If you read the thread you would see, that she lied about having to work on the weekend when she didn't and we were supposed to hang out...

 

I asked why you don't trust her. I meant before she lied about working the weekend. Why did you go to her house? The mistrust is not because she lied about working, it was clearly before that.

So, again why did you not trust her before that?

I am more worried why she felt that she needed to lie about the "off day".

you got back with your ex and she already lied...seems like things are off to a great start.

 

 

I am still not seeing the connection with the ex and this lie? is there something that i am missing?

I had a weird feeling and I went by her place and when she opened the door she said, "uh oh busted"...

Dude your girlfriend is scared of you and rightfully ****ing so. Driving to her house to make sure she's actually working because his majesty requires a written and signed excuse not to spend time with him is borderline insane. Of course she's afraid to tell you upfront she wants a night to herself.

 

Leave the poor woman alone. Whether or not she's given you a reason to distrust her, you are out line.

I am still not seeing the connection with the ex and this lie? is there something that i am missing?

There is no connection between the lie and the ex...

Driving to her house to make sure she's actually working because his majesty requires a written and signed excuse not to spend time with him is borderline insane.

Well, she usually texts me from work and she did in this case, but her texts were totally different, so I got suspicious and went by her place. Whatever happened to being honest and just telling the truth. She totally regrets not telling the truth...

And why would she lie to you about something so innocuous? Either she's a pathological liar or there's more to the story.

And why would she lie to you about something so innocuous?

She said she lied because she didn't want to hurt my feelings.