How can I get over him not loving me anymore but not leaving

We were together 2 years and were very happy but the last 6 months I have felt that he didn't love me anymore. Mainly because he stopped saying it and I just felt it in my gut. He said he was unhappy but never said it was us, we both hoped it would get better I guess. He never said anything about not loving me or wanting to break up, he just got unhappier until he said he was depressed and eventually i had to ask him to move out. He even seemed angry about this but I knew we couldn't go on this way, when I asked what was wrong all he would ever say is 'I've got a lot of stuff going round my head that I can't sort through'.

He moved out and I was devastated but was still trying to be his friend because he told me he was depressed. 3 weeks later a friend told me he is seeing someone else! I asked him and he admitted he was but that he didn't cheat on me. I don't know how to deal with this! Why would he stay with me even though he was miserable until I basically kicked him out then he got straight with another girl, it's so heart breaking! Why could he not have just been honest or was he genuinely confused, is he maybe still confused and depressed and just using her to make himself feel better? Do I have a right to be angry?

Because he is a coward and very immature.

He isn't and wasn't confused. He just didn't want to be the bad guy, so he pushed you into pushing him out. Yes, you have a right to be angry. No, he isn't confused or depressed. Depressed people don't go out and start new relationships to feel better.

Use the anger to fuel your recovery.

I wish I could give you an answer. The best I can tell you is the "dumper" is done before us. They have been thinking about it and already out the door weeks before or longer. They are farther down the path and have accepted. They may change mind down road, but not likely. No or limited contact is you best move to get you right in your mind.

Then why did he seem so surprised and angry when I asked him to move out? If I hadn't have said it then I think we would still be together!

Because he didn't think you had it in you. You asking him to move out disrupted his life. He was already in contact with that girl --- nothing "started" that quickly.

He got with me straight after a previous relationship so I guess I should've expected it. He told me he loved me after only 2 months! do you think he is even capable of lasting love and he will do the same to this girl?

I haven't a clue if he is capable of lasting love. As you can see, he can make it about 1.5 years. However, he didn't return to the girl before you so I wouldn't pin my hopes on him ever coming back.

I don't want him back I guess I am just hoping he is defunctional because it's easier to get over than someone just falling out of love with you so quickly, he is trying to be nice to me and be friends but I am ignoring him, I am really struggling to get over this though

He isn't dysfunctional. He is just a young man with a relatively short attention span. He didn't fall out of love quickly --- the last 6 months of your relationship was him emotionally distancing himself from you. He essentially used the last 6 months to get ready for his next relationship at your expense.

Because he didn't think you had it in you. You asking him to move out disrupted his life. He was already in contact with that girl --- nothing "started" that quickly.

I've been known to hit it off so well on the first date that neither of us would see anyone else, so yes, people can meet and start dating very quickly. Where I would be suspicious, though, is moving in. If someone moves in within 3 weeks, they are either a headcase or they were dating before.

He is 35, divorced and was married 10 years so not so young!

Why have you assumed that his depression means he doesn't love you anymore?

If he is 35, then he simply doesn't want commitment and you were Ms. Okay for now.

And I think because he used the word "depressed" doesn't mean he WAS depressed. He was simply disconnecting emotionally from you and hence the "I've got a lot going on in my head".....like how to move on and out and not come off as the bad guy.

he wasn't depressed and he wasn't miserable. he had fallen out of love/set his eyes on someone else but was hoping to milk you for all the secondary benefits possible until he prepares himself a comfty situation somepleace else, with someone else.

Have you ever heard of Ms. Right Now. It's the person you are fine with being with because you don't feel like disrupting your life. He was probably surprised because he hadn't fully lined up his replacement yet.

You are better off without him.

I was in your shoes 6 months ago. I'd eventually had enough of him being "unsure" and I walked out. He was shocked/hurt/upset and wanted me back. When I decided I didn't want to try again he turned nasty. In my head I thought, why am I wasting my time with a 30 odd year old man who still lives with his parents, was saving for a mortgage with me and then suddenly decided something "was missing" but was unable to talk about it or fix it? During this time I saw a different side to him and realised how emotionally abusive and controlling/manipulative he had been during our whole relationship. I was done. He was lazy and didn't want to put the effort in to reignite our spark, and instead wanted to watch TV all day and night. My argument was.. Don't complain our spark has gone and you want it back yet not want to do anything to fix it.

Sorry I went on a bit there! My point is your ex is basically a coward who didn't have the balls or respect to break up with you. You'll eventually see that you're better off without him.

You can't really place a 'should' on your emotions, you feel as you feel. So the question becomes, do you use you anger in your favor to push yourself forward to higher ground, or do you fold up and turn self destructive with it?

I vote viewing him through the lens that made you unhappy enough to boot him out, and consider him to be someone else's problem now. I'd make it my private goal to surprise everyone, including myself, with my resiliency and ability to bounce back and cultivate a great life for myself. This doesn't mean avoiding an occasional bout of boo-hoos with a tissue box--grief is natural. It just means allowing new interests and new friendships and a rekindling old friends to become your focus so that the grieving becomes more boring than other stuff quickly enough.

Head high.

What is so confusing for me is that he got so down that he actually went to the doctor and I saw a letter with an appointment for him to see a counsellor, he had reason to be down as we had gone through an abortion and suffered an injury at work and had to do a different job, I cannot understand why he would say he is depressed as a way of pushing me away, if anything that made me want to help him more, I just can't understand if he is someone that needs help or if he has just treated me badly, of course either way he hurt me a lot by getting with this other girl so soon but I'm struggling to work him out

Working him out is pointless. The abortion, being hurt at work, etc may have caused situational depression. Which clears up when the situation passes...or for,others, it's called "life happens". Regardless, he broke up with you and is with someone else, with whom he was flirting while still with you.

Figuring him out does nothing to forward your healing. Him breaking up with you does not affect your value or worth.