Thailand prostitute, where to draw line at boys will be boys?

So I was recently sharing a phone with my boyfriend of two years I was a little bit sneaky and googled my name in his email to see what he had said about me

what came up was (when he was in Thailand with he messages his friend and it said "go see my girl at the Russian strip club she is smoking hot and you can take her home I would if it wasn't for this relation"

. Later on his trip he message his friend saying it "sucks having a girlfriend here" I also saw a message from before we where together saying. "My **** is getting so sorry from nailing so many ****s" and another one that was sent 5 days before we officially got together said "man you got to get back here I've been nailing 4 smoking hot *****es every three days... I'm really offended by this he said I should be flattered that's his changed he also messages his friends how hot girls are other than me... I want to feel desirable, am I over reacting? I know he doesn't cheat but I can't of want those eyes only for love kind of love.

I know he doesn't cheat.

He goes to Thailand and has sex with several prostitutes over several days and you say he doesn't cheat? That IS cheating. If you find that acceptable behaviour, then by all means, stay with him. If not, then you know what to do.

I suggest your first priority is to get tested for STDs if he is sleeping with prostitutes. I don't think i'd ever sleep wtih anybody i found out was visiting 'working girls' either in thailand or at home. Find yourself a better class of guy. If he hasn't yet given you an STD, he will eventually.

She he exposes both himself and you (possibly) life threatening diseases, disrespects you and your relationship AND supports human trafficking....

Why the (bleepbleep) are you with this guy?

It's was a Russian strip club that offers full services, as he said he just got a lap dance... I'm so upset but when I try discuss it he turns it around to me over reacting?

From reading this I get the impression this all happened before the two of you got together as a couple. Is that true?

No, other than the message saying "man my dyck is getting so sore from nailing so many bytches" that was before us.

And the remark saying "man you have got to get back here I've been rooting 4 smoking hit *****es just in last 3 days" was when we where dating though we did commit to being a serious couple TWO days later (and this also means he was sleeping with other girls the same day as me)

Everything to do with Thailand we where 100% living together as a serious couple.

Let me also add this man has slept with 1000+ women.

So this guy has slept with over 1000 women and you still thought it was a good idea to get involved with him?

Not sure why you're so surprised by these messages. Seems to fall in line with exactly who this guy is.

Well I wasn't aware of the actual number till we where quite serious, I love him and feel I could get past if he showed any validation for my feeling...

He says he loves me and that's changed him, god I feel stupid even writing that.

Please go to the dr. I do not even want to imagine how many diseases he has had and passed onto you. And wow he supports human trafficking too. He is a sad sorry excuse for I don't know what.

Well I wasn't aware of the actual number till we where quite serious, I love him and feel I could get past if he showed any validation for my feeling...

 

He says he loves me and that's changed him, god I feel stupid even writing that.

He is a supporter of human trafficking. Get out.

He is a supporter of human trafficking. Get out.

Yes, I am sure those Russian girls are not there willingly. And many prostitues in these countries are very underage. This guy just sounds so so slimey.

You say Thailand and all I can think is "Sex trafficking mecca" as in how many of the girls you BF had sex with were underage and/or being forced to do it against their will? Not that your BF necessarily knows that, but come on it doesn't take a mental genius to figure out that most prostitution isn't really being done because the girls (or guys) want that as a career choice. All of that aside you might want to look at whether you want to spend time with a guy who even goes to Thailand for "a good time" since his words and actions don't speak of someone with a good character to begin with. That whole frat boy mentality of "boys will be boys" culture breeds sexual exploitation and worse in my opinion. Personally I'd have a really hard time getting with anyone I thought had sexually exploited another no matter what the level of justification was.

Yes thank you all for your opinions, I was starting to doubt that I was being a crazy girlfriend.

I just don't know how to approach the situation now or what to day to him?

You just leave and run yourself to a dr tomorrow!

he said he just got a lap dance... I'm so upset but when I try discuss it he turns it around to me over reacting?

So does this mean you can go to Chippendales or a strip club and get a male lap dance? That sounds only fair to me and then when he complains you can tell him he's "over-reacting" too. I'm sure he'd love that, but seriously if it's an equal relationship why not? Personally, I'd have been out the door at the first mention of "I'm off to Thailand" when I found out it wasn't a business trip. I take a very dim view of those who support human and sex trafficking in any way and yes, that is what he and his "friends" are doing. Disgusting.

You just leave and run yourself to a dr tomorrow!

This. IF you have to say anything to him you say, "I cannot be with someone who support the exploitation and enslavement of human beings." Then walk out the door.

I would not even give him the benefit of words. He does not deserve them.

I think that no good will come from you staying with him. Thousands of women and goodness knows how many hookers - he's got a few issues that would keep him from being a good romantic partner.

Imagine how he'd feel about you if he came accross a text explaining how sore you were from having sex with four different men. Think he'd stay with you?

You could do what I did when I found out an ex was dealing drugs out of our house. You wait until he goes to work, call your friends/family to come and get you, pack your stuff up and leave with a note telling him why you've gone and not to bother to come looking for you. It worked for me anyways. Seriously you cannot reason with someone who has this sort of criminal mentality. He will, as he already has, justify everything he's doing even though it all boils down to one thing--he views women as chattel or property to be owned and used. I'm sorry you were deceived, but you may as well resign yourself to the fact the man he pretended to be isn't the man he really is. (Or isn't I should say)

How old is this guy?

He will be 37 this month... I'm do angry he is saying this is all in my head and I don't stop this insanity I'll regret it.

Tell him to shove it and leave. Really. He's a sleazy slimeball.

I still don't get why you want to be with this guy? Is his behavior acceptable to you??

Ah, okay. I was going to say that if he was much younger, the 1000 women would clearly be an exaggeration and so might be the Thai women.

Even at his age, I think 1000 is really pretty unlikely (that's a different woman every week without let-up since he was 17).

I suspect it's likely that he has slept with far fewer women than that, and perfectly possible that he didn't sleep with any prostitutes in Thailand at all. Guys boasting to other guys about imaginary wild sex is not exactly unheard of.

But, this is not making excuses for him. Whatever he has or hasn't done, he has a serious attitude problem. The texts to his friends are just about excusable if they were untrue (though even then they'd be puerile), but why does he think a lap dance is okay? Why does he think that you're going to be impressed that he's supposedly slept with a thousand women? And why does he think you are over-reacting.

I agree with the others, there are big red flags here, I'd just say they are about his attitude than his actions. In fact, they're probably about his fantasising about these actions.