Why Do Men Date Gold Diggers? Answers!

Well, this is for those certain users who tend to put the blame on gold diggers as being the sole cause of misery in a man's marriage and life and whatever else. Or how they are horrible for doing what they do and so on.

 

What I mean to say is this:

 

I've heard way too many times men and women empathizing with the husband who has spent more than half his fortune supporting the whims of his gold digging wife. Or girlfriend. You get it.

 

And I'm writing this because on certain previous threads, I've noticed certain users being a little too bitter about women and their standards and yada yada yada.

 

Let's take Real Life Example #1:

His dating history has included mostly beautiful women. Most of them were big time gold diggers. He was married three times, and all three were gold diggers. Two didn't have careers, while the third did (yet not a penny of her earnings went to the household).

 

Real Life Example #2:

An architect, with quite an impressive CV and a handsome salary, marries a woman who yes, is beautiful yet has only a high school education and no career or trade, knowing fully well she will most likely not work or pursue a career. Nonetheless, he doesn't forget to mention her place and how she is quite insignificant compared to him. But there are vacations, jewelry, cars, you name it.

 

Now, a woman could be a sugar momma, most definitely. We don't hear about it that much.

 

Anyway, my point is this:

Obviously, these men could have found other women but nonetheless, they chose the gold digger type. Personally, I have no pity for them whatsoever. If a man is that rich and is that educated, he should be intelligent and logical enough to ascertain that hey, this woman chances are will not be bringing anything to the table as far as her looks and yes, she's interested in me spending lots and lots of money on her.

If anyone has sympathy for these types of men, wow, are you blind. Ask yourself, why can't he date other women? Why does he pick women of a certain type?

 

Whether it's because these men don't view themselves as attractive enough to attract a beautiful and successful woman and believe only money will buy them love, or because they like to be narcissistic dominant jerks....Either way, they know very well what they are getting into.

 

I personally have no sympathy for these men. I understand that a pretty face is sexually appealing, but not every beautiful woman is uneducated, unemployed, and without a career.

Depends on the women and their intentions. If they attraction is due to the material, then yes, this would seem like they are using them temporarily. But some women are attracted to power, leadership, ambition, strength, dominance, that seeing their man in a suit and telling other men (which she perceives as weaker men) to leave him alone and get the job done or they will be fired, while he sits backs and makes 6 figure transactions with other big money-makers in other parts of the world. The man never backs down, no man can stand taller or more powerful than him- and some women like this.

 

Knocking that "type" of women to me... is no different that a women knocking a guy for liking a girl with big boobs and a sexy walk.

Depends on the women and their intentions. If they attraction is due to the material, then yes, this would seem like they are using them temporarily. But some women are attracted to power, leadership, ambition, strength, dominance, that seeing their man in a suit and telling other men (which she perceives as weaker men) to leave him alone and get the job done or they will be fired, while he sits backs and makes 6 figure transactions with other big money-makers in other parts of the world. The man never backs down, no man can stand taller or more powerful than him- and some women like this.

 

Knocking that "type" of women to me... is no different that a women knocking a guy for liking a girl with big boobs and a sexy walk.

 

I suppose it would be harder for the women to be perceived as a gold digger if she did have a financial standing of her own. But I'm talking about the very obvious- the bimbo with Mr. Big Money.

Either way, they know very well what they are getting into.

 

At the end of the day good looks is to men as money status and power is to woman so I am sure you can see it from that perspective. For every woman who is complaining that men go after physically attractive women with bad character there is a man who is complaining about women who go after men who have money status and power with bad character. So the answer ultimately is that these things make up for a lot of character in many people's judgement, (and by judgement I mean in either a blinding OR conscious way).

 

On top of that I think it is making a huge assumption that men can instantly identify a gold digger. I don't think that most of these guys assume they know what is going to happen. Life is not a movie where every gold-digger is sitting by the pool winking at the pool boy. It can be hard to see things as they are from the inside, especially for men who are less in tune with social and emotional cues than women. Besides, I can see that you are mad at the men in this situation because you are female and you probably want them to pursue you not the gold diggers, but gold-diggers are the ones with bad intentions here not the poor fools who are with them.

I suppose it would be harder for the women to be perceived as a gold digger if she did have a financial standing of her own. But I'm talking about the very obvious- the bimbo with Mr. Big Money.

 

Yes, this would be different, but if this women with her own resources likes men with their own resources, does it make her different than the girl who works at a dead-end job who actually gets excited by men with power+resources too? I see it no different than women going gaga over firefighters, or "bad boys", or whatever other archetype that makes them go nuts.

 

I only see it as being wrong if they really arent attracted to this person, and just wants the material (diamonds, cars, etc.) and intends to bow out since the man cant stimulate her because he never did.

I'm not saying you don't make a point....But there are plenty of beautiful and career oriented women out there. If he's dating history is gold digger after gold digger, this man is not dumb, or blind! He knows very well what he is attracting. He has a choice to date someone who won't milk his bank account dry. But he chooses the same types of women over and over again.

 

While I do understand how much more men value beauty over finances, it's still their choice to marry the gold diggers. I'm not implying that if he's making a 6-figure salary, he should find a beautiful 6-figure salary woman. There's plenty of beautiful women out there earning significantly less, but still, in a better financial situation than the gold digger who has nothing to rely on but her looks and personality.

 

And no, I'm not jealous. I believe every average and above-average looking woman can learn the ways of the Gold Digger.

 

Poor souls? Please!

I only see it as being wrong if they really arent attracted to this person, and just wants the material (diamonds, cars, etc.) and intends to bow out since the man cant stimulate her because he never did.

 

Yea and to add to that, I feel like the more common definition of a gold digger is someone who is fooling a person into thinking they care about them to get their money. Yes men like beautiful women, but men also like for beautiful women to love them. Why be so mad at the men when the gold diggers are supposed to be the con artists here OP?

Yes, this would be different, but if this women with her own resources likes men with their own resources, does it make her different than the girl who works at a dead-end job who actually gets excited by men with power+resources too? I see it no different than women going gaga over firefighters, or "bad boys", or whatever other archetype that makes them go nuts.

 

I only see it as being wrong if they really arent attracted to this person, and just wants the material (diamonds, cars, etc.) and intends to bow out since the man cant stimulate her because he never did.

 

Aaannnd what about those women who are attracted to Mr. Big Money and do love him...yet once he goes broke, the loves fades away?

Yea and to add to that, I feel like the more common definition of a gold digger is someone who is fooling a person into thinking they care about them to get their money. Yes men like beautiful women, but men also like for beautiful women to love them. Why be so mad at the men when the gold diggers are supposed to be the con artists here OP?

 

Not mad at all. Just think it's important to point out that it's both parties consenting.

Why is this upsetting you so much? What are you really angry about?

Poor souls? Please!

I didn't say that, read again.

 

If he's dating history is gold digger after gold digger, this man is not dumb, or blind!

Seems like the definition of dumb and blind. As in they are too dumb and blind to see what it is that will actually make them happy in the long run. Of course, part of the whole point is that it is probably easier to get the attention of a gold digger than a successful AND beautiful woman, so maybe it is just a path of least resistance thing.

I didn't say that, read again.

 

 

Seems like the definition of dumb and blind. As in they are too dumb and blind to see what it is that will actually make them happy in the long run. Of course, part of the whole point is that it is probably easier to get the attention of a gold digger than a successful AND beautiful woman, so maybe it is just a path of least resistance thing.

 

Or maybe he's the needy yet narcissistic man who needs his ego strokes and what way than to have a woman who is financially strapped onto him?

Whether it's because these men don't view themselves as attractive enough to attract a beautiful and successful woman and believe only money will buy them love, or because they like to be narcissistic dominant jerks....Either way, they know very well what they are getting into.

 

I personally have no sympathy for these men. I understand that a pretty face is sexually appealing, but not every beautiful woman is uneducated, unemployed, and without a career.

 

Well, it's not so much a matter of sympathy. I'm pretty sure that some rich guys don't actually care that their girlfriends/wives are essentially just "trophies". Generally speaking, these are the same kinds of guys who lack respect for women in general and just see them as sexual objects.

Some men want a trophy wife instead of a loving relationship. To each their own, I say.

eh, a man dating a gold digger after gold digger is no different then any other relationship mistake you see people repeat time and time again. Like the woman who always finds herself dating a "creative artist" who spends most of his time on the couch "thinking". Or the man who always ends up with emotionally needy woman.

 

Some men know what they are getting others do not. Its never a good idea to make sweeping statements about any group.

Or maybe he's the needy yet narcissistic man who needs his ego strokes and what way than to have a woman who is financially strapped onto him?

There is no man alive who does not need ego strokes. And enjoying taking care of a woman financially or otherwise is a pretty fundamental whether it stems from dominance, caretaking, love, accomplishment being depended on financially fullfills many of these emotions. You do know that narcissists tend to be abusive to those around them? In this situation who exactly is the man abusing? Again if anyone is narcissistic it is probably the gold digger who believes that it is ok to get money for herself while pretending to care about a man. I don't think that the typical gold digger scenario is that both parties know that she is only in it for the money, I feel that there are plenty of cases where the gold digger is pretending to love the man for his money and he is quite mad when that turns out to be true. Every case is different, but you seem to want to paint the thing with very broad strokes. At the end of the day I think the bigger moral failure is usually on the gold digger, while most of the time the guy is being duped. If you are referring to some specific situation where you know that a guy knew his girl would leave him once he was poor, then that's all good and well. But if we are going to be answering the question of why men go after attractive women who have no money, then we should be dealing with the most likely of scenarios shouldn't we?

Look. Most men who marry gold diggers are not being duped. They know very well that 1. she's beautiful but poor, and 2. I'm rich. If a man can't see that difference right away, then go get a brain. Granted, there are some men who do fall in love. But most of them also know that money attracts women.

eh, a man dating a gold digger after gold digger is no different then any other relationship mistake you see people repeat time and time again. Like the woman who always finds herself dating a "creative artist" who spends most of his time on the couch "thinking". Or the man who always ends up with emotionally needy woman.

 

Some men know what they are getting others do not. Its never a good idea to make sweeping statements about any group.

 

Right....and it's not any different.

Well, it's not so much a matter of sympathy. I'm pretty sure that some rich guys don't actually care that their girlfriends/wives are essentially just "trophies". Generally speaking, these are the same kinds of guys who lack respect for women in general and just see them as sexual objects.

 

Yes! Very well said.

Depends on the women and their intentions. If they attraction is due to the material, then yes, this would seem like they are using them temporarily. But some women are attracted to power, leadership, ambition, strength, dominance, that seeing their man in a suit and telling other men (which she perceives as weaker men) to leave him alone and get the job done or they will be fired, while he sits backs and makes 6 figure transactions with other big money-makers in other parts of the world. The man never backs down, no man can stand taller or more powerful than him- and some women like this.

 

Knocking that "type" of women to me... is no different that a women knocking a guy for liking a girl with big boobs and a sexy walk.

 

I agree (which I know you aren't knocking this type of woman WhenWillI). But I do think it's VERY common for guys on this board to lump women who do have financial resources and aspirations for upward mobility and want men with the same level of career and financial 'success,' as well as upward mobility as something negative. Perhaps gold digger isn't the right term in that case.

 

Some people find people in high-powered careers more attractive. I don't necessarily think that makes them bad. I have two female colleagues (senior level at my workplace) whose husbands are very well-off lawyers. That is what they wanted and what they pursued. The women don't make as much as their husbands, but they still make a lot. Both are dedicated to their careers as well but it was a critical factor to find a financially well-off partner. Certainly makes things like taking vacations, having expensive hobbies, and buying homes much easier. From what I can see, they have happy marriages.

I suppose it would be harder for the women to be perceived as a gold digger if she did have a financial standing of her own. But I'm talking about the very obvious- the bimbo with Mr. Big Money.

 

I'm not sure if you're married or in a long term serious relationship but in my experience it's almost impossible to know what goes on behind closed doors -so the woman you are dismissing as a "bimbo" may have qualities you have no idea about since you're judging her by her appearance and how she dresses and Mr. Big Money might have a big ole prenup with his wife which would take away the gold digger motivation at least in large part.

And I'm writing this because on certain previous threads, I've noticed certain users being a little too bitter about women and their standards and yada yada yada.

 

If you think that the "bitter" guys on ENA are having issues with gold-diggers--because we're obviously wealthy and swarmed with beautiful women--then I have a bridge in Gotham City to sell you.

 

The trophy wife issue and the complaining-guys issue are about as far from each other as you can conceivably get. I mean, wow, I had no idea that the solution to my problems was so simple: instead of choosing the hot gold-digger that wants me, I choose from among the hot career-oriented women that want me. No idea how I missed that.

I'm not sure if you're married or in a long term serious relationship but in my experience it's almost impossible to know what goes on behind closed doors -so the woman you are dismissing as a "bimbo" may have qualities you have no idea about since you're judging her by her appearance and how she dresses and Mr. Big Money might have a big ole prenup with his wife which would take away the gold digger motivation at least in large part.

 

It is and those are very good points. It's just that I'm sensing a lot of bitterness on the part of certain users in the sense that they are giving way too much sympathy for the man and very little for the woman.

If you think that the "bitter" guys on ENA are having issues with gold-diggers--because we're obviously wealthy and swarmed with beautiful women--then I have a bridge in Gotham City to sell you.

 

The trophy wife issue and the complaining-guys issue are about as far from each other as you can conceivably get.

 

It's not you who I was referring to.

It's not you who I was referring to.

 

Well, I'd love to know who you were referring to, because I haven't seen many "plagued by gold-diggers" posts. The ones I've seen involving (low-level) gold-diggers...well, they're annoyances that have more to do with cultural/gender expectations than anything else.