Will the physical pain ease or go away?

[AlexBroome]

Hi guys,

 

I have recently just gone through a break-up of a 6 year relationship initiated by her.

 

She feels that we have grown apart over the last year or so (we have lived together for 2 years), the sex kind of stopped, 100% down to my sex drive even though i found her very attractive still.

 

I don't think that there is any chance of saving the relationship she seems pretty sure and has said herself she is happy, although she still cares about me and really wants us to remain friends.

 

The real question I have I suppose is about 2 days on a Saturday night after we broke up (I went out on Friday night and got very drunk) I had a panic attack for the first time ever.

 

And since I was left with chest pains and a difficulty to breath, this in turn left me feeling anxious and stressed, I even called in work sick and cancelled my social plans with friends.

 

During those 3 days I went to Nandos with said ex partner as friends which was nice until I felt an attack coming on so I just got up and left and we went home, worth mentioning we still live with each other at the moment.

 

This went on for 3 days before I booked an appointment with my GP who gave me Valium and some AD's to try and help, the chest pain seems to of gone but the anxiousness and occasional pain in my chest/heart remains.

 

I am having my second appointment today with a counsellor to try and help me get over the break up, but at the moment I am kind of finding it hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel almost, I didn't want to break up and she means the absolute world to me.

 

Will things get easier? Reading other peoples stories does give me hope but at the moment I can't seem to accept we have broken up, I am trying to adjust in my mind we have but just can't!

[Wiseman2]

How old are you? You need a complete physical, not just a script for benzos and then adding drinking to that. Follow up with therapy and get some tests done this time. Take care of yourself and your health and that will help. The heartache will take some time. Do not hang out with her.

(I went out on Friday night and got very drunk. I had a panic attack for the first time ever.

 

And since I was left with chest pains and a difficulty to breath, this in turn left me feeling anxious and stressed

This went on for 3 days before I booked an appointment with my GP who gave me Valium and some AD's to try and help, the chest pain seems to of gone but the anxiousness and occasional pain in my chest/heart remains.

[Hollyj]

It will become much easier when you cut ALL contact with her. You cannot be friends if there are feelings.

 

I am curious if you sought medical attention for your sex drive while you were together?

 

Good on you for seeking out a therapist.

[AlexBroome]

Hi thank you for taking the time to reply,

 

I am 26 years old and healthy, I used to go the gym every day and ran Tough Mudders and Marathons,

 

I have had my bloods done and had an ambulance crew out to check me over.

 

The drinking was just a social night out, it was the day after everything started happening.

 

Its such as horrible feeling in the gut just want to get back on with normal life but scared I will keep getting anxious or another panic attack happening

[AlexBroome]

Hi,

 

Thanks for taking the time to reply.

 

I did yes, before we talked about breaking up I tried to get an answer on that, testosterone wise I am fine, and my bloods came back fine :/

[Hollyj]

Are you going to pursue it further? This is something that will impact all of your relationships.

[LikeWater]

I also went through a spell of having panic attacks after a breakup, and yes, the chest/shoulde/whatever else pain WILL go away once you stop having them. Panic attacks take a toll on you physically because of the immense amount of stress., so you're left sore afterwards, Just like any other physical strain, the soreness afterwards goes away with time and care.

 

Stop drinking for a while as alcohol can be a source of sudden panic attacks, and just generally take care of yourself. Eat and sleep well and all of that. The good news is that now that you've had a panic attack, you can identify the symptoms and ease your mind instead of convincing yourself that you're dying.

[AlexBroome]

I am going to yes going back to see my GP on a week today

[AlexBroome]

Thank you for your reply, in the nicest way possible it’s reassuring to hear someone else has gone through the same thing and that it does get better, yeah I have completely stopped drinking, even stopped have caffeine anything to try and help!

[boltnrun]

Why do you still live together?

[maew]

Panic and anxiety is our body's response to avoiding what we perceive to be danger and/or pain (flight or flight). Some of us experience this to a greater degree than others. You are doing the right things to try and face your feelings and your fears... keep this up and start investing in yourself again. It will take time but slowly you will start to see things getting better. For me, the turning point was when I went a whole day without thinking about my ex.

[goddess]

Yes, the physical and emotional pain will get better with time. I was in your shoes nearly a year ago when my ex told me he wanted a divorce after 29 years of marriage. A breakup (especially a long one, like yours) can wreak havoc on your body, both physically and emotionally. It is so draining. It feels surreal.

 

I didn't want a divorce although it was a toxic environment. A few months after he told me, I also had a panic attack while sleeping. I woke up and freaked out. I had no idea what was happening to me; thought I was having a heart attack. After having symptoms for over an hour, I almost called 911 but it slowly subsided. It turned out to be a panic attack. Went for an EKG, stress test, the works.

 

I am relieved that you saw your GP about this and are seeing a therapist. Give yourself time, that's the key. No quick fixes, I'm afraid. You have to go through the grieving process and eventually you will feel better and heal. You will experience a roller coaster of emotions, that I can tell you. It stinks in the meantime, granted, but you will get through this at your own pace. I promise.

[AlexBroome]

We started to talk about living arrangements, as we would need to either sell where we live or buy each other out type thing.

 

When my panic attacks happened we stopped talking about it until I got myself a bit better, I didn't want to add anymore stress on

[AlexBroome]

Thank you for your reply and advise

[AlexBroome]

Hi thank you for taking the time to reply,

 

Again its reassuring to hear that I am doing the right things, thank you for the advise and kind words.

[Flipp]

Yes it will ease.

 

And panic attacks are actually quite common when going through something rough like a break up. I've never had any problems with anxiety before my break up, but had a few panic attacks in my darkes period. Also developed a sort of "alarm reaction" to seeing cars that looked like his etc etc. It gradually faded, but even 8 months later I was still more aware and anxious when I was at places he could show up. Now, 9 months in, I feel pretty confident that if I see him in the streets or something, that I will be the one who can raise my head and breathe.

 

I would advice you to get some distance between you. Time will help you think more clearly and understand and sort through your emotions. It doesn't mean that you'll never talk to her or see her again, but it gives you a breather. And things also need to sink in. It's a he** of a ride, and a tsunami of pain really, it was for me anyways, but it will get better. You only have to survive untill it does! And each of our paths are different. Follow your heart, but put yourself first. I broke NC after 7 months. People told me not to, but honestly, that was what i needed, and that made things better afterwards. But if I had done it sooner, I wouldn't have been ready, and it wouldn't have been as benificial to me...

 

I honestly thought I would never ever give up the hope of getting my ex back, even though he dumped me, even though he found himself a new girl super fast... We broke up the last week of July 2018, and I think my latest thread on this forum was written in late January, where I still wanted him back. Now the table has turned a 180 degrees, and he is miserable and wants me back, but I am able to see more clearly what I want and need... I never ever thought I'd feel that, or say that out loud. And I don't know what the future holds, him or someone else, but I'm feeling so much better now. And you will too!

[AlexBroome]

Hi thank you for taking the time to reply,

 

I have started thinking and looking at living arrangements, I think its the right thing to do.

 

Again its reassuring to hear about people going though exactly the same, the one thing that has been getting me a lot is going out into public situations, Ie going for food etc I felt panicked and left.

 

But my chest pains seemed to of died down which is good and I am taking steps, such as going for walks on my own, eating more etc.

 

Thanks again