Sleeping in Separate Beds Could Save Your Relationship

Everyone needs shut-eye. But can sleeping in different beds benefit your relationship? Surprisingly, sleeping in separate beds could be just the thing to get your relationship back on course. When couples are constantly frustrated by one another’s tossing, turning, snoring and other nighttime idiosyncrasies, sometimes sleeping apart is the best—and only— solution. Not sleeping together may actually be the best way to save your relationship from further distress. After all, it’s not always easy to make sense of life's daily demands when your body is fighting for rest.

Beyond just snoring compatibility, people often have different sleep styles. In some relationships, one partner is a night owl, while the other prefers to hit the hay early. Some couples thrive in the same bed, but for many, sharing a bed can create friction and negatively affect the connection between them. When couples are forced to snuggle up each night, positions, side of the bed preferences and temperature can lead to arguments and an increase in overall irritability. “Little things can lead to big things," cautions relationship expert Dr. Jane Greer. "If you're in the same bed, you can expect that problems with sleep can lead to bigger issues in the relationship.”

When a couple chooses to sleep together, small miscommunications can manifest into larger resentments in a short time. On the other hand, sleeping apart could provide the opportunity to move from detached exhaustion back to meaningful engagement. Taking some space from each other can bring clarity and ease back into the relationship. It can also provide couples with the freedom to rediscover their individual identities.

Sometimes distance makes the heart grow fonder. Making the effort to meetup before bed—without the physical distraction of being in the same bed—invites conversations to start over dinner or a cozy movie night. It creates an opening for talks beyond the typical evening routine. This can give couples the chance to rediscover what brought them together in the first place. Moreover, research by Sleepfoundation.org shows that higher-quality sleep benefits couples both physically and emotionally. Better sleep makes couples more available to their partners and to themselves. When rested, couples tend to be more open, responsive and affectionate. Lack of sleep, on the other hand, leads to mood swings, tantrums and confusion.

So, if your relationship needs a little spark, consider this approach to sleeping arrangements. Though it may take some getting used to, there’s much to be gained from separate beds. From feeling more rested and refreshed to creating a better foundation for communication, sleeping in separate beds could be the very thing to bring you closer together.