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  • Paula Thompson
    Paula Thompson

    Infatuated with a Substandard Suitor

    As if driven by an invisible force and pulled together by unseen strings, you may find yourself inexplicably and intensely in love. The fortunate never have to ask themselves – or anyone else for that matter - whether they are in love or not the answer just seems painfully obvious. For those of us who were not so lucky, we may be dealing with a rare, yet all-too-common affliction – being completely besotted alongside one of life’s biggest slimeballs.

    When you’re in love you could find yourself justifying questionable behaviour intended solely as means to protect your beloved’s fragile heart and ego. Although, these measures almost always require prolonged and concentrated effort only to fuel a lopsided power dynamic. In this relationship, you take take all the abuse without expecting any kind of recompense.

    You would rather experience humiliation enhanced by a cocktail of hazy promises than let go of what may, at the end of the day, be nothing more than a pain to chase after. People who find themselves bitten by Cupid’s arrow, discover that their heart can sometimes be blind to the truth and take them straight into a downward spiral.

    One of sure signs that you may be infatuated with a substandard suitor is your tendency to dramatise every conversation, always giving too much power to the emotions you feel deep inside. No matter how many times you tell yourself to decline certain invitations, something keeps pushing you forward until eventually you give in to their advances. They might offer you the illusory hope of heightened happiness, but in reality they are likely to keep ferrying you deeper into depression.

    Furthermore, a classic sign of being in love with the wrong person might include feelings of inadequacy and fear of abandonment. Usually, when there’s an imbalance of power – and not just in terms of love – self-esteem takes a huge hit. They sometimes go hand-in-hand with a lack of initiative and drive because you've become so accustomed to letting someone else make the decisions. This can be incredibly damaging if left unresolved.

    Being in the arms of the wrong person can also manifest in numerous physical effects. Your skin loses some of its shine, the way your head aches when you think of them forces you to shut your eyes everyday in a desperate attempt to find reprieve. You can sense something isn’t right in the pit of your stomach when they say something you know is far from true and inevitable feelings of guilt creep up your spine when a blind eye has to be turned in the name of love.

    It’s important to pay attention to any substantial change in your behaviour. If you find yourself neglecting your own needs then that's your body’s way of screaming out for help. Enduring long hours with someone just for the sake of furthering a possible future isn't exactly healthy.

    As a reminder, if what you have for someone only causes you unhappiness and frustration then it’s time to step back and take a good look at what’s what. Because if you are in love with a monumental slimeball, the sooner you face up to that truth the better it is for both of you.

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