How Can I Win Back My Partner's Trust and Rebuild Our Relationship After Making a Mistake?

Dear eNotAlone: I felt like the biggest part of me died a couple of weeks ago. I had been in a long-term committed relationship with a man whom I had grown to love dearly. Everything seemed perfect, until suddenly it wasn't. I had made a mistake that caused him to break up with me, and now I feel like it's all gone. The pain of the breakup has left me feeling lost, alone, and helpless. I can feel it in my bones that I need to make it right, but I don't know how. I want so desperately for us to get back together, but I feel like it's too late. Sure, I've been trying to apologize, but it doesn't seem to be enough. Is there still a way for me to prove that I'm sorry? How can I win back his trust and make him forgive me?

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If you're anything like me, then chances are you've felt the pain of making a mistake before. It's devastating when you lose something – or someone – that mattered so much to you that it feels like something inside of you has died.

The most important thing for you to remember is that you are not alone. Many of us have gone through similar struggles, and we have all made mistakes that we wished we could undo. What makes us human is our ability to learn from our mistakes - even if we make them more than once.

Of course, it can be difficult to reconcile with the person we've hurt, especially after all the apologies in the world have been made. If the people that we love have been truly hurt by us, it can be difficult to truly move forward and rebuild trust. That being said, here are some tips that may be useful when trying to apologize and win back the trust of someone that you love:

1. Let Time Pass- Allow yourself and your partner time to process their feelings and come to terms with what has happened.

2. Express your Sincerity- Make sure that your apology is genuine and comes from a place of understanding and humility. Let your loved one know that you understand the gravity of what has happened and that you take full responsibility for it. Don't just say "I'm sorry", show that you're sorry through your actions and words.

3. Listen- Once they have expressed their pain and anger, listen to what they have to say without expecting anything in return. This will let them know that you are taking their feelings into account and that you are willing to take the time to understand where they are coming from.

4. Offer Reconciliation- In addition to listening, offer concrete ideas on how you would like to repair the broken trust. Apologizing isn't enough, you must offer tangible methods to demonstrate that you are taking the situation seriously and that you are willing to work to make things better.

5. Forgive Yourself- Part of learning from your mistakes is also understanding that, sometimes, what was said or done can never be taken back, no matter how hard you try. There is nothing wrong with seeking help or comfort from friends and family, or with finding a therapist to talk to if it feels necessary.

All you can do is express your intentions and let your partner decide whether or not they're ready to give your relationship another go. And regardless of their answer, let go of any residual feelings of guilt or shame and focus on progress rather than perfection.