How Can I Take Charge of My Life After a Breakup?

I'm two boys on the go, and my life is spinning out of control. I've been in a relationship for 5 years with a great guy, but lately all we do is argue and I can't take the pain of it anymore. We have different goals and dreams that no longer align, so we both agreed it would be best to break up. We care about each other deeply but I feel like it's all for nothing now.

I'm also struggling with a lot of personal issues. I feel like life is passing me by, and I don't know how to make it stop. I'm always looking for the next thing to make my life better, but nothing seems to work. I'm constantly anxious and stressed, and I can't focus to get anything done. My friends are all busy with their own lives, and I'm feeling more and more alone.

I don't know what to do, or how to move forward. I need help understanding how to take charge of my life and find happiness again.

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Break ups can be tough and devastating, but remember that you are not alone in your struggles. It may take some time, but it is possible to come to terms with the end of your relationship and find peace. You may want to consider talking to a counsellor or psychotherapist who can help you work through your emotions and develop a plan for navigating the difficult period of adjusting to life after a break up.

Having a strong support system is essential when dealing with major life changes. Though it may seem like your friends are too busy to really be there for you, don't forget that they care about you and want to help. Share your feelings and difficulties with them, and discuss ways in which they can provide support and/or distraction from your current struggles. This could include getting together for lunch, catching up over coffee, or simply spending time browsing a store or chatting for a few hours.

Though the break up has likely thrown you off track, now is a good time to take charge of your life again. Take stock of your current situation—what do you want to change, and what are your goals? What actions can you take to work towards these goals? Establishing a sense of purpose and meaning can be tremendously beneficial in helping you to feel motivated and happier overall. Learning a new skill or hobby can be a great way to give you a sense of accomplishment and can open up possibilities in terms of career and social prospects.

It is also beneficial to take care of yourself so that your body and mind are adequately supported. Eat well, get plenty of rest, and exercise if possible, as these can all have a positive effect on your mental health. Importantly, try to be gentle with yourself. Thinking too harshly or with too much self-criticism will often exacerbate feelings of unhappiness and disempowerment. Instead, think constructively and focus on what options are available to you.

Remember that, although it may be difficult to adjust to living without your partner, this doesn't have to mean the end. With a positive and constructive mindset, direction, and action, you are likely to find the inner strength and determination to take life by the horns.