After a break-up, it can feel like the world is upside down. Memories of laughter, inside jokes, the conversations that went on all night — all of these things can come crashing down on your shoulders like an oppressive weight.
The healing process is going to take time, but there’s hope. Whether you’re in the midst of a break-up or are celebrating a new found freedom, you can start to move forward and find a new path. Here are some tips to get you started on the road of healing.
1. Allow Yourself to Feel Your Emotions
It might seem counterintuitive, but feeling your emotions is one of the most important steps in the healing process. Don’t ignore how you feel or try to run from your feelings by resorting to unhealthy activities (like drinking or partying). Instead, allow yourself to really feel the emotions you’re dealing with.
This doesn’t mean you should wallow in your pain or pick at old wounds. Instead, just let yourself observe your feelings without judgment or criticism.
2. Get Up and Do Something
When you’re feeling down and out after a break-up, it can be hard to motivate yourself to do anything. But staying in bed all day is only going to make you feel worse. Get up, get out, and do something.
Go for a walk, hang out with friends, or just spend the day alone. Doing something physical (like going for a swim or taking a yoga class) can help distract you from your negative thoughts and emotions.
3. Practice Reframing Your Thoughts
When you’re feeling down after a break-up, it’s natural to start ruminating on negative thoughts and memories. But this will only make things worse.
Practice reframing your thoughts into more positive ones. For example, instead of saying “I’m a failure at relationships”, say “I’m learning from my experiences and making Meaningful connections.” Or, instead of “I made a mistake”, say “I made a mistake, but I can learn from it.”
4. Let Go of Regret
When you’re still hurting from a break-up, it’s easy to start digging into the past and trying to figure out where you went wrong. But dwelling on past mistakes isn’t helpful and can actually keep you stuck in a state of pain.
Instead of retracing your steps, focus on the future. Let go of regret, and start make plans for what comes next.
5. Move On
The goal is to move on with your life. It may not be easy, and it’s certainly not going to happen overnight. But as you work through the healing process and start to practice self-care, gradually, you’ll start to feel more hopeful and optimistic about the future.