Sleeping with the ex?

I probably know the answer but I cannot stop sleeping with my ex; both are single, it was an amicable break up (we were not happy towards the end at all), less mess and we are even friends!

On a scale of 1 - 10 however, how bad is it to continue sleeping together? I have never really done it before, always either had a messy break up, a clean get a way or pretty much said no to friends - but we have so much in common and get along I am thinking why not?

A part of me feels like we playing with fire though?

-1 is my rating.

You think you are friends but you are not. It's an illusion until one or the other finds someone else. Then the friendship is out the window.

You can .....you are in control of your body , you are an adult , you make your own decisions . That is not meant to sound rude to you , however it is what it is ... you are choosing this and as help said ..when someone else comes along , you will then be having to go through the ending of this relationship all over again .

How long have you been broken up? Does either of you have someone else? Do you live close to one another?

There's nothing morally wrong with it but I agree it will get messy whenever either of you want to move on with someone else.

This is a bad idea. Its going to delay the inevitable and prevent you from moving forward.He's not committed to you but is still getting everything he wants from you.By continuing to sleep with your ex after you've broken up with him that bond doesn't get severed the way it should under normal circumstances. If you take that time to get over him (instead of sleeping with him)

There is going to be a time when he moves on with someone else. You really don't want to be in the back ground and watch that happening.When the reality that he met someone new while he was still sleeping with him.... its going to hurt like hell

Of course you can stop, don't talk about yourself as if you are some weakling with no say in your own life! You just don't want to, because by sleeping with your ex, you falsely feel like you still have a connection with him, even if that connection is just sex. I'm sure deep down you are painfully aware that it's a mistake, not from a moral point of view, but because you are selling yourself short. You know you have been demoted, from girlfriend to FWB, and that can't possibly feel good or make you proud. And I'm sure you know that if you two were truly friends, and the sex is good, there would be no reason for no longer being a couple - but the sad reality is that he feels you were just not good *enough* to continue being in a relationship with you. And yet, you don't want to stop because you're afraid he will be gone forever if you do.

There are many things exes can do together after a breakup, if they really hold each other in high regards and don't want to lose the bond they have as people - and sex is not one of them. Had he truly wanted to be friends, he wouldn't have used you for sex as an in-between, until someone he fancies romantically comes along. The above posters are absolutely right, that day will come when he'll meet someone new and he'll tell you the sex needs to stop, but that you'd remain friends, blah blah blah, which of course won't happen because his attention will turn completely to his new girlfriend. Why let yourself go through this?

He didn't want you as a partner, within a relationship, he shouldn't have any claim to your body either. Again, morally there's nothing wrong with what you're doing, but as a person, it just opens you up for more suffering, more hurt, and the end result will be the same - he will still be out of your life, just later rather than sooner.

Everyone is talking about the ex using My8wnPrison for sex. Surely aren't they both using each other for sex and companionship.

Why is the man always the user?

Everyone is talking about the ex using My8wnPrison for sex. Surely aren't they both using each other for sex and companionship.

 

Why is the man always the user?

Agree x1000

Why not?

As long as neither of you are trying to use it as a ploy to get back together.

I think it's a great idea. What could possibly go wrong?

OP without having more details from you I offer this decision tree:

IF the break up is recent, neither of you has moved on to others since, and you are proximate to one another, NO. Use this is as an opportunity to break from the past and forge your new path forward.

IF you each have moved on, the break up is months or longer ago, and there is some distance between you that helps keep a check on the opportunity to hook up, then MAYBE. IF you trust each other and want a little maintenance, go for it.

Check yourself. Are you prepared to call your ex, your "EX"? Are you prepared to call that relationship your PAST? Have you endured a period of No Contact? You need to be sure you are not lying to yourself. You have to make sure to put your emotional health first. Sometimes that means withstanding the discomfort of the break-up, the sex-free period, and the random weird first dates, until you feel you have begun fully disengaged.

Everyone is talking about the ex using My8wnPrison for sex. Surely aren't they both using each other for sex and companionship.

 

Why is the man always the user?

I may be wrong, but in this case it sounds to me like the OP still has feelings for him. The way I read it, they were both unhappy, he initiated the breakup, and told her he wanted to stay "friends", which she accepted because she didn't want to lose him altogether. We all know what "friends" after a breakup means. If this is the case, she isn't using him for sex.

That's your prerogative... His too. I'm assuming neither of you are presently in a committed relationship.

"He didn't want you as a partner, within a relationship, he shouldn't have any claim to your body either. Again, morally there's nothing wrong with what you're doing, but as a person, it just opens you up for more suffering, more hurt, and the end result will be the same - he will still be out of your life, just later rather than sooner."

Exactly,it always hurts less when we rip the band-aid off in one sweep. It's painful but quick. Sleeping with your ex is the emotional equivalent of pulling the band-aid off one painful hair at a time....Its just prolonging the inevitable

Everyone is talking about the ex using My8wnPrison for sex. Surely aren't they both using each other for sex and companionship.

 

Why is the man always the user?

Wait, did Everyone post? Where? Must be a longer thread I'm not seeing if "always" is happening.

Everyone is talking about the ex using My8wnPrison for sex. Surely aren't they both using each other for sex and companionship.

 

Why is the man always the user?

We didn't say the man is always a user but look it this way...Op might be thinking "I'm getting sex too, so I'm using him just as much as he is using me "This doesn't mean anything", "We're just having fun" and the worst of all "I'm happy with the way things are."The guy also have the ideal situation: he got to have sex without commitment. In other words, he got to have his cake and eat it too but the reality is "most women once they've slept with someone will form an emotional bound .Eventually, though, she will have do have to deal with reality and It would be like going through the break up all over again.I am speaking based on life experiance

Can't `use' a willing participant.

The ops ex is a female by the way ...I am presuming the op is a man ..

The ops ex is a female by the way ...I am presuming the op is a man ..

I haven't read OP previous threads so we just assumed OP is female..... since the OP didn't state his or her gender

Yay me! I reread my post to find that it is both gender neutral and orientation neutral.

Hmm, thank you all for the feedback. However, I find it a tad insulting you all presumed I was female even though I never stated otherwise - males get similar thoughts/issues no? I also feel it would of been best to keep the advice neutral until I was back with an update myself... just some food for thought next time if you're going to try and help somebody.

Right update, I the dumped (male) is currently living with the dumpee (female) as she really has no where to go and honestly I wont make anyone homeless regardless of the reasons. We aren't only each others "booty-calls" as we can sit and cuddle whilst watching movies... again, probably not the best idea eh?

I'm in a good place, I'm pretty much out every day, seeing other friends/working so it's mostly when we are both around, hopefully I shall be starting a new job soon which actually has progression/career, so maybe with me away a lot of the time all this will stop?

I feel I might take the advice from earlier on whereby be friends/friendly but leave the rest out of the mix.

I honestly don't know. I'm confused.

Hmm, thank you all for the feedback. However, I find it a tad insulting you all presumed I was female even though I never stated otherwise - males get similar thoughts/issues no? I also feel it would of been best to keep the advice neutral until I was back with an update myself... just some food for thought next time if you're going to try and help somebody.

ermmm * cough* ...me me me me me me ..I was the good one ..I went and looked at your previous to determine the sex ...does that make me a good poster ha

listen mate , reading this last bit ...why dont you both just be together ? you are certainly both doing the walk

Yay me! I reread my post to find that it is both gender neutral and orientation neutral.

 

Not all of us assumed gender. Also, Some posters likely picked up gender in other people's posts and figured it was accurate and carried on.

ermmm * cough* ...me me me me me me ..I was the good one ..I went and looked at your previous to determine the sex ...does that make me a good poster ha

 

listen mate , reading this last bit ...why dont you both just be together ? you are certainly both doing the walk

They sound quite compatible. ..