He's calling and messaging after telling me he has a crush on someone else

I've ranted about him in like 3 other posts and I doubt anyone would read the ridiculously long story, so I'll cut to the chase. I was(am?) in a long distance relationship for the past 5 months, we've known each other before, he goes to college in another country and comes down for summer. Yes, it was not the smartest idea getting into a ldr but I did like him so much and my dumb brain thought "Hey, let's take a chance". He's always been a little distant, even when we were friends, so I didn't think much into it when he was there, he calls often and did make a decent effort and since we started dating while he was there I didn't know what to expect, also both our first relationship. He visited in december and well, it was weird. It was just difficult to get him to meet me, I kept feeling like I'm forcing it and I honestly felt ignored. But he was visiting for 20 days and he would want to spend time with his family and other friends so I didnt want to pressurize him, however I do believe if we do want to meet someone, we make the time. Anyway, he does flirt with other girls, but harmlessly, infront of me and always after introducing me as his girlfriend, so I didn't want to read too much into that since he's always been an extrovert and I knew that when I got into a relationship with him. Also I feel there's a difference between being charming and polite to everyone at a party and specifically concentrating on one girl. After that things got weird, he met an old friend of his and that friend's girlfriends and that friend's ex(Yes, exactly that) and the friend was "confused" between the two girls so he was you know, deciding. Then suddenly he talks about girls he finds hot infront of me, girls he wants to meet because theyre fun, all in front of me, and I never reacted but subconsciously i began to feel real inadequate. Anyway, my (ex)boyfriend adds this girl on facebook, next I know they're texting and about 3 hours before leaving he tells me he "Talks" to other girls and the way he said it made me instantly uncomfortable. So I told him about my boundaries and if he liked someone else he should tell me and we would end this(all feeling very confused because he spoke about it like it was nothing).If im super honest, I've never felt secure in this relationship, never felt pretty enough or fun enough for him. That day something in me snapped when he showed me her picture and called her his latest crush and said she was into him because he made her laugh. I literally didn't know what to say so I patted him and told him to go for it. He left and I cried and felt like for the next few days that have been pretty much a blur, he didn't call or text or anything and I deleted his numbers. Yesterday I got a snapchat from him with him wearing something I gifted him with a "Guess what I'm wearing". I honestly didn't want to reply, but I didn't want a fight with him calling me crazy or jealous so I replied with a smiley. Now he called me again today, I didn't answer and he called again after about 2 hours. I don't get it. He likes another girl, I have walked out of the picture, I'm not yelling at him or fighting or anything, he is absolutely free, why is he calling me? I do like him still, I shouldn't but I do, I'm dealing with it but him calling me makes me so confused and sometimes its scary how I forget how he really didn't bother about me when he was here. I don't know how to react and I don't want a fight because we have ALL mutual friends.

Sorry its long again X_X

Because of your "have at it" statement, he has no idea you have broken up.

This girl has a crush on him. And he has been very poor in his handling of it.

So, I think you need to be clear that you are not his gf any longer.

Sweetie, he likes to toy with people and their feelings and it makes him feel powerful. He gets off on that. Do yourself a huge favor and block him and erase him out of your life and mind. He is not the nice guy you think he is. He is in fact a creep and you don't want that. Sorry, but face it and it will make moving on easier.

Yes, and he will as long as you continue to play the role of backburner girl by accepting his contact, not speaking up and telling him that it's not okay to say he has something with you then treat you like his best drinking buddy and talk about other girls and that you are done, to never contact you or darken your door again.

Then you delete and block the jerk on every front, grieve and be thankful it was a relatively short relationship and move on to find someone who is invested in you with far, far better manners. This guy is getting a kick out of deliberately rubbing his indifference in your face and watching you take it. So don't take it.

And if you have mutual friends you simply tell them, "He was hitting on other girls in front of me, so I broke it off." End of story. No covering for him. No big drama. The quiet truth if anyone asks or cares to ask. You think your mutual friends can't see he's an a**hat think again. Anyone who is your friend and not okay with his behaviors will be on your side, let all others walk towards him and they can all have fun cheating on each other with each other.

In short, anyone who would take this guy's side after all that deserves him as a "friend." Or if you want him to stop you text back, "OMG, the most beautiful man just walked by me! Why don't you do pushups to get abs like that?" You know, dish a bit back and when he gets upset text, "Oh, I get it. You can dish it, but you can't take it. Buh-bye."

Okay, I'm being half-sarcastic, but it seriously do you not see he'd likely squall like a scalded cat if you did that? So why do you think it's not acceptable if you did the same thing? People in true committed relationships don't feel the need or even have a desire to talk about hot other people to their SOs as if they were best buddies instead. It's a boundary you and half the planet need to develop or jerks will use it to knock down your self-esteem and self-respect. Don't tolerate it and you'll weed out the ones you didn't want who didn't have your back anyways fast.

I was(am?) in a long distance relationship for the past 5 months, we've known each other before, he goes to college in another country and comes down for summer.

Depending on where you live and when summer is ---- I think it won't even be a topic among mutual friends.

I think you know your answer, but holding on to the little things that confuse you like "he introduced me as a girlfriend"

From my point of view he doesnt see you as a romantic interest. If he did, he would of moved mountains to be with you when he was near you. He texts you about other girls because he sees you as a friend.

He likes another girl, I have walked out of the picture, I'm not yelling at him or fighting or anything, he is absolutely free, why is he calling me?

You haven't "walked out of the picture," you have left a door open which allows him to view you as a soft shoulder to cry on, and not because he wants to get back together, as I assume you're hoping for.

In any event, he knows where to find you if he happens to have a change of heart. That said, I would seriously think about blocking all contact, and take back your self respect.

Yes you'll are right. I've been avoiding him like the plague because I'm SCARED to pick up the phone and have a conversation with him and have him run me down more. But I've decided that it's final let him run me down one last time and then no more. I won't hear from him or see him again. I used to be a happy, funny and decently confident person and the last 5 months I've just been a shadow of my former self that took me years to build. So thanks everyone, I'm not waiting around anymore, I'm going to tell him he's most welcome to be with whoever he wants to be or play the field or whatever but I'm not interested anymore. Thanks all, goodnight

Sometimes life knocks us down so we can learn to get back up. This is just a moment in an otherwise long and happy life. Times like these help us to become better people in the future. You learn to read the signals, learn to not ignore red flags and we get stronger. I know that you are scared, the unknown tends to do that. Its hard for you to discover new lands if you are afraid to lose sight of the shore.

Now what you do is stand up, dust yourself off and say okay, whats next, and you take that first step in re discovering that happy, funny, confident person. You attracted a guy before you can attract another one. Take time for you, let life handle the rest.