Lost and depressed about university/circumstances

I never really thought I was as bad as this past midterm brought to light.

Throughout school I've always succeeded, always received awards and recognition and amazing grades. But that was high school and Junior college.

Now that I've transferred to UC, I'm finding my major to be difficult in ways that aren't difficult for the majority of my peers.

I'm a Physics major, and I love learning physics and learning the concepts more than anything, more than any other subject. I'm passionate about it. It hurt to hear my professor tell me to think about another major. He did say a lot of it has to do with my circumstances - single mom, working 20-30hrs/week, and commuting an hour to and from UCSB.

He said that he doesn't know of anyone that can do well in upper division Physics classes with all that I have on my plate. And I see he was respectfully trying to advise me, but it still hurt.

He told me if I want to succeed, something's gotta give. I don't even know what that means?! I can't afford to move out of my dad's house, and the old lady that rents a room there helps with babysitting at an obscenely low rate of $2/hour.

I don't really understand what to do. I want to power through and at least say I tried. But the problem is I'm on Financial Aid Probation because I performed an Academic Withdrawal last year. I withdrew last year because I actually tried living up there and the babysitter at the time flaked out mid-quarter, leaving no choice but for my dad to send my daughter to my aunt in Arizona!! I live in Southern CA for those of you unfamiliar with UCSB meaning UC Santa Barbara.

I tried a week more but seriously couldn't handle being a state away from my daughter. Trying to live away from her up there to hunker down on studying was one, very difficult thing, but having here a state away? That was too much. So I got her back home at my dad's and then took a year off college until my classes were offered again.

So this new Fall quarter, if I fail or don't do well enough, my Financial Aid gets revoked and I would have to continue college with student loans only.

The teacher said he'd meet with me once a week to prepare me for the finals in December. So I hope that goes well.

I'm venting a bit here but I'm also looking for advice or reassurance... Any ideas on what I could maybe do?

I feel like I've looked into all my options. And changing my major... is that really something I should look into? Maybe a tutor could help, but I'd have to find the money for that. Staying on campus is hard because I need to commute back, get dressed for work and quickly prep something for my daughter's dinner.

Am I just not meant to finish college? Did my mistakes of having a child so young (at 17, and I'm turning 24 in a week) make it so I just... Can't?

I don't mean to brag but I really am smart and I've always wanted a degree. I just have such limited time to study and my professor said that studying by myself isn't enough. I need to bounce ideas off other Physics majors and TA's.

Would I be better off quitting college and just trying to make my way through jobs?

Help? Anybody?

...

Would you be able to reduce your class load at all and still be eligible for financial aid? Would you be ok with taking more time to your degree?

Physics major as an undergrad here--and in my program, there were several single mothers not much older than you and they somehow made it work. My campus was more of a commuter campus though, so they stayed locally. But many of them took no more than about 12 hours per semester (which was just enough to classify as a full-time student). It did hinder which classes they could take as some of our advanced classes were offered on a semi-annual basis that weren't core physics subjects (ex. astrophysics and biophysics) but they got the fundamentals. And it IS a demanding major, but please do not quit. If anything, if you feel like you need to do something less demanding, is there a particular aspect of the field you could parlay into another technical field that would still give you a chance to use your smarts and skills, but allow more time for you to manage both your professional and personal life? That's a question you could ask yourself as you go forward.

Congratulations on what you have achieved thus far, and wish you the best of luck.

Miss, I think your professor might be onto something, but not for the reasons you think.

My son has a degree in Physics, also. That qualified him to get a job selling clothes at Banana Republic. In order to get a job in physics, he'd have to get a doctorate and there's only one job for every six Ph.D.s in physics. He's back in school getting an Engineering degree (thankfully, won't take long) that will take full advantage of his education in physics. Engineers are in high demand. Physicists are not. Think about it.

Whatever you do, do NOT quit school. It's your and your daughter's future. Too important to let go. This is the mom in me talking.

If that's your photo, I recommend you switch to my son's college immediately and contact him regarding classes, where to hang out, and other such matters. He's gorgeous, funny, whip smart, and so terribly, terribly single.

AutumnBorn

Is there any way you can supplement your learning with on-line instruction? I needed help with calculus at the Master's level and learned a lot at the Khan Academy (free on line teaching) A tutor was too hard to time and the Khan Academy is free.

What do you think this degree will get you, work wise? What is your end goal?

As noted above ---- physics in and of itself as a BA ---- needs graduate school.

I agree with this 1000%. I am back in school for an engineering degree. If you can hack physics classes you should be able to switch over to engineering. You will not get a high paying job as a physicist...without any grad school (which doesn't sound you're up for right now) I'd say don't even bother. All of your math and physics core classes should be done, I assume you're a ~Sophomore/Junior, and starting to hit the initial hard classes... I'd hunker down and not quit, but reconsider a Physics bachelors... it's not a guaranteed job, and have seen a lot of people not get jobs. Engineers... every single one of my engineer degree friends found a 70k+ job, even the terrible 2.5 GPA students... EVERYONE!

Honestly, I could not do all that you're doing, and I'm a relatively decent student. But there are only so many hours in a day, as I'm sure you're finding out.

There are a few things you can possibly do. Not sure if they are options for you or not, but:

-find a way to go part-time

-find a closer school

-research accredited online degrees

-consider a more general degree in the sciences so you at least have a college degree in something you enjoy, then consider going back when your child is older and you're more financially stable (you might even have a job at that point that pays for a master's)

I think there are also advantages to having had your child at a young age. If you decide to get the degree you really want later on, you will still be relatively young enough to change careers if you want to.

Think about other majors that are related, and see if you can go a bit slower- maybe a couple of classes a semester. You're young enough that you can take your time.

Hugs. I think you can do it, but you might have to change some things. you might need to just cut down your classes to part time. Working and raising a kid and going to college is A LOT. And the other students in your physics classes don't have jobs (or maybe 10 hours a week), and they can devote all their time to studying, unlike you. So maybe you can cut it down to fewer classes and move closer to campus. And yes, do consider engineering. I don't know how far in you are, but it's something you can think about.

Good luck, we are chering for you!!

I'm doing an online program from a nationally accredited school, my degree will look the same as any student that is oncampus... Just allows me to keep a full time job while I hack away at it.

Something to consider for a busy mom like yourself misssmith, don't get discouraged and quit though.

It sounds like you'll either have to switch to part-time studies (if you're on full-time right now), or switch to an "easier" major. A physics degree doesn't qualify you for anything specific, as a couple of other posters have mentioned, so if your goal is to finish a degree and you're working in a job you're satisfied with right now, I'd switch to something maybe a bit less demanding like maybe business, or psychology, although psychology is one of the least employable degrees out there, I should mention.

College is a time for both, finding out our limitations AND discovering new strengths, directions and passions. Right now, you still have time to look around and your professor is probably giving you sound advice in that you should probably branch out and explore.

Lots of people have kids, are single parents, have to work to put themselves through college full time even, etc. Very very few are privileged enough to be able to dedicate themselves entirely to studying and nothing else. I think the key question you have to ask yourself is why are you struggling with your courses already? Do you really have what it takes to go on to grad school or be able to get a job that will support you? The harsh reality is that you shouldn't be behind the curve already and if you are, then maybe as painful as it is, you have to face your limitations and change course before wasting any more time.

Thank you all for your responses!

So to answer a few questions...

- I can't reduce my class load or I will lose my financial aid. I must have at least 12 units, aka about 3 classes

- AutumnBorn, that is me in my profile pictures and my avatar however I do have a bf haha I'm sure your son will have no problem finding a lovely girl

- on line instruction wise I do actually watch instructional videos and lectures on khan academy while I do my makeup or hair in the morning

- mhowe, I'm on track for a BS degree in Physics. My professor in Intermediate Mechanics actually suggested I try for a BA but I don't want to go the teaching route. I want to be hire-able in applied physics or even research or something more hands on with a company that might pay for grad school in engineering of some sort... I don't necessarily know what exact profession I want to get into, all I know is learning this stuff makes my eyes light up and I can't help but enjoy it

- I can't live closer to campus due to my own circumstances of where my job is, the cheap rent at my father's house etc

As a quick UPDATE, I ACED my Quantum Physics midterm that was twice as long as the Mechanics one that I failed. I think a lot of it has to do with how crazy interested I am in particle physics and how I took on a different study strategy.

Problem is, my registration time for next Quarter is almost up and the Advanced Mechanics class filled up so fast I need an add code (special approval to enroll) from the professor of that class - who happens to be the professor of Intermediate Mechanics who doesn't have faith in my abilities. I feel like he won't give me one of his exclusive add codes, and is also don't know if I can convince him to. I could tell him I found a better study strategy and that's why I aced Quantum... But I don't know.

Thanks again in advance for all of the advice!

I might seriously consider going to school part time (under 12 units), even if it takes longer to finish. Just so you can have the appropriate amount of time to divide between your work, family, and studies. As others have said, you're essentially competing against students who have no kids, no job, just study and that's it. I might try to see what other kinds of options you might have to help finance your studies. I think you're better off getting better grades with fewer classes and taking a longer time to graduate, than trying to go to school full time, and pulling Cs or whatever.

anyway, just something to think about.

Congrats on the A!!

I might seriously consider going to school part time (under 12 units), even if it takes longer to finish. Just so you can have the appropriate amount of time to divide between your work, family, and studies. As others have said, you're essentially competing against students who have no kids, no job, just study and that's it. I might try to see what other kinds of options you might have to help finance your studies. I think you're better off getting better grades with fewer classes and taking a longer time to graduate, than trying to go to school full time, and pulling Cs or whatever.

 

anyway, just something to think about.

 

Congrats on the A!!

 

If I do part time, I won't be able to even afford college unless I take out a bunch of student loans. I need at least 12 units to retain my financial aid... So unfortunately, moving slower paced isn't really an option.

 

But thank you!!! I'm super happy about the A

if possible, try to space out your courses then, so you don't have more than 1 "really hard" course a semester. I don't know if that's possible as you're an upper division student now. if you can balance out your 12 units with some filler classes, that would be great.

>>I don't necessarily know what exact profession I want to get into, all I know is learning this stuff makes my eyes light up and I can't help but enjoy it

I work in academics and have some advice for you here. I know you may love learning, but nothing says that learning needs to be stopped when you leave school. But there is a strong practicality that if you have racked up a lot of student loans in a profession that doesn't translate easily into a job, or where the jobs are extremely scarce and the competition for them high, you need to stop and think about things like how you're going to pay off that student loan and support yourself rather than just going off on a orgy of learning that will not translate into a job.

if your family is wealthy and can afford to send you to college for free, or support you even if you have a degree that doesn't translate easily into a job, then you can study anything you like in college. But if you have stiff student loans and are in a field that is 'elite' from an intellectual standpoint where there is lots of competition and the only available jobs go to people who are true geniuses or truly gifted, then your professor may be trying to help you be realistic and not just limp thru these hard courses then graduate with a degree that you can't translate into a job that will pay off your student loans and be worth the investment because the competition is so stiff for those jobs and you can't demonstrate the grades or skills to win those jobs.

So you need to spend some time at the career counseling center and do research on how likely it is for you go be able to secure a job.

My experience is that in fields like Physics, if you want to not be a 'regular' high school physics teacher and want to work in college level physics or industry, you've got to ace every single course you take and prove you're a genius to get into a tenure track positions at universities. Otherwise you're stuck in low paying instructor positions with no chance to have a decent career in academia because you don't have the chops to do the research and get published, or life as a high school physics teacher And competition for applied physics jobs is extremely intense, where as another poster says you're more likely to end up working at Banana Republic unless you do something exceptional during your college years (publish papers co-authored with a professor in scientific journals, win internships and competitions and awards while in school, graduate with a 4.0 average etc.).

So you don't have to stop loving Physics and can continue to learn the parts you enjoy, but if you fail things like Mechanics which is essential for Applied Physics jobs, then you might not enjoy or be able to work in applied physics jobs or get one.

So no one says you ever have to stop learning things you are interested in. But you may need to adjust your expectations in terms of a profession if you are failing courses (or close to it) at the undergraduate level in the field you have chosen, where the field is extremely tough to break into or translate into a practical job you can obtain and in which you could succeed.

So do that career research, and look at the related fields where you might be more successful and that might translate into well paying jobs of sufficient numbers that you can get one and pay off your student loans and support yourself and your child comfortably. Life isn't all about one thing, but about balance, and you do need to address practicalities and can learn about anything you love anytime and are not restricted to just one thing for life. But you do need to pay off those loans and pay the bills, so your choice as to courses and degrees and what you can get good grades in need to be driven by that as well.

Have you ever taken the MTBI personality test? link removed

It can tell you a lot about what types of careers you're best suited for, and thus might give you some ideas on how to proceed academically. As your professors have said, physics demands a lot of time, and if you don't have it, then you don't have it. Also, as other posters have said, you generally need a Ph.D. in physics in order to do much of anything in the field, and that doesn't necessarily guarantee anything. Also, whatever time you're putting in to physics in undergrad, you can at least double that for grad school.

The way I see it, you have a couple options as far as school goes:

1) Find the time to put in to physics by cutting out other things

2) Try something else

There really isn't a third option.

Here is a great place to do research on careers (Occupational Outlook), and the links to Physics:

link removed

As it notes, you almost invariably need a Ph.D. to work in this field. And there are only 23,000 jobs total for this in the entire U.S. (which is a very tiny field of employment so competition will be high). I'm sorry to rain on your parade, but physics really is an extremely tough row to hoe in terms of actually succeeding in translating it into a job unless you are a very ambitious and true mathematical genius, or are willing to work as a high school teacher or community college teach (non-Ph.D., non-tenure track).

Click on the similar occupations link for ideas for other careers, or surf that site to learn about every career there is, what it pays, what you need to do to get a job in that field, what the projections for future employment are etc.

Here's a suggestion, software developers:

link removed

There are over 1 million jobs for this, the field is projected to grow 22% (faster than average), and the median salary is $93K per year, with 222,000 jobs per year being added in this field.