fridaK Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 Okay, so i had my suspicions, since he had his cell glued to his pants and took it EVERYWHERE..including the bathroom. So one day..we were at this outside function. I decide, its too cold, i'm going to the car to warm up...and i see his cell phone. I was hesitant at first, but i did it, and looked through his cell, and what do i find, but pics of another girl, flashing her boobs...saying this pair is for you. go on to see, that he has a folder saved on his cell with girls name on it, and with various pics of her. I was upset...emotionally, because it just confirmed what i suspected (trust your instincts). So i confronted him, and sure enough he tells me its a girl he's only friends with...and they like that.ugh!!! I know he's lying to me...and he deny's it. I left him, but he continues to call, and he's been doing everything he can to make up to me... He says he wants us to get together, that he wants to marry me, that he wants us to buy a home together, start a family... Where was all this thinking from him before all this drama? I don't know what to do...any suggestions? My trust in him is gone...my love for him has changed. I ask him to give me space, but he's on my case all the time!! Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 PFT He was cheating, or being dodgy enough to shake your trust, and now he isnt respecting your bounderies. He isnt worth another thought. Link to comment
rocio Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 I don't know what to do...any suggestions? Let him start his little family with the boob girl. Don't let him waste another minute of your time. Link to comment
applepie Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 Yeah, I agree. If he doesn't think he's done anything wrong then he'll continue to do it, but will try harder to hide it from you. I'd give him the flick and never look back. Link to comment
huntmarsh Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 seem like a nice enough girl to not put up with that kind of mess. someone said he was "dodgy". great decsription. a confrontation with him would never hurt. go ahead, start a fight with him. he'll leave you alone. Link to comment
Jayar Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 If this is how he acts during the courtship phase, just wait until he gets BORED of you and the family you are silly enough to start with him (if you decide to go that route)... Link to comment
macgyver4ever Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 I had suspicions that my ex was cheating because she was glued to her cell in the same way. It was always with her or off, that way she wouldn't know when the other guy was calling. I wanted to snoop but never did. I found out in the end, but it was obvious. I just denied it because I was affraid. Link to comment
fridaK Posted March 12, 2007 Author Share Posted March 12, 2007 I had suspicions that my ex was cheating because she was glued to her cell in the same way. It was always with her or off, that way she wouldn't know when the other guy was calling. I wanted to snoop but never did. I found out in the end, but it was obvious. I just denied it because I was affraid. and you know...now that he's been caught..he makes an effort to let me know who he's talking to , and who's calling him...like i told him, I DON'T CARE! Link to comment
fridaK Posted March 12, 2007 Author Share Posted March 12, 2007 Yeah, I agree. If he doesn't think he's done anything wrong then he'll continue to do it, but will try harder to hide it from you. I'd give him the flick and never look back. i agree that he'll try harder to hide it now...at least on his cell. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 how does he let you know tho? just tell him to F off... Link to comment
fridaK Posted March 12, 2007 Author Share Posted March 12, 2007 how does he let you know tho? just tell him to F off... when he and i happen to be talking, and the phone rings, he'll say, its so'so...but i know that he won't be stupid enough to get caught again through phone...he's probably learned how to delete messages, lock his phone with a code, or whatever.. Link to comment
Akatea Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 If he was genuinely sorry and actually wanted you. You would see the change. My BF cheated on me in the very beginning of our relationship and believe me, learning to trust again is a two way thing. If he is going to continue being dodgy about things like this then its not worth it. However if he is willing to put in the time and effort it requires to make you feel ok about things again. Believe me when I tell you though that it is not something to be entered into lightly. It is hurtful and stressful and it doesn't always work out the way you would like. Good luck! Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 ^^ Heed this womans words, she knows what she is on about. when he and i happen to be talking, and the phone rings, he'll say, its so'so...but i know that he won't be stupid enough to get caught again through phone...he's probably learned how to delete messages, lock his phone with a code, or whatever.. Why are you talking to him tho, you cant tell him to leave you alone, then talk to him, thats mixed messages, leading him on. Link to comment
DN Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 If you don't want him then stop talking to him. But don't assume he was cheating because he may not have been. It was inappropriate for him to have those pictures but that is not evidence that he was cheating. Make sure that you know what you want before your permanently burn bridges. And don't do anything while you are angry that you might come to regret later. Link to comment
Akatea Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 ^^ Heed this womans words, she knows what she is on about. HEHE, Fanks Pretty Lady Link to comment
catren Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 Run now!!!! The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour - I think that tells you all you need to know. Link to comment
lady00 Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 If you don't want him then stop talking to him. But don't assume he was cheating because he may not have been. It was inappropriate for him to have those pictures but that is not evidence that he was cheating. Make sure that you know what you want before your permanently burn bridges. And don't do anything while you are angry that you might come to regret later. I got the impression from the post that a girl sent him naked pictures of herself and that the guy kept them and encouraged her to do so. IMO, that is cheating. Link to comment
macgyver4ever Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 and you know...now that he's been caught..he makes an effort to let me know who he's talking to , and who's calling him...like i told him, I DON'T CARE! My ex just got shadier. When I asked her about all the text messages, she said they were just friends, and after I found out there were feelings involved, then she started hiding it, especially after I handed her cell phone to her as he was messaging her on night. It got so bad that she would write him while we were at dinner together. She sucked. Link to comment
badja Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 fridaK- leave the guy and seriously find someone who will treat you with respect...take some time to get your mind right before you even think of speaking to him... macgyver4ever - my ex did the same, speaking to random guys when we were together and it is the worst to find out about stuff like that but hey life goes on and there is no reason to sit around! Link to comment
kiama Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 my ex told me all the porn under his bed was his brothers, whos room was next door.....i had cleaned under the bed the week befor too, and it was not there.... so ok, his brother came to our room had a wnk and left his porn under our bed..... mmmmh....its not even a big issue, just admit it. but no, it was defo his brothers....I BELIEVED HIM. cos i wanted too. but, he lied. had to have been. its the lying that gets me. and over such a stupid thing. then i found out he had been paying lapdancers and strippers in this second life game. it was written there in front of me, he said he was just being friendly... i believed him, cos i wanted too. but these little lies, which to this day he insists he was telling the truth, started a lot of insecurities. this guy lied. thats the point. if he lies about something, what else will he lie about... and that will never EVER rest in your head. ten steps back in the trust department. those small things above still BUG me. just cos i know deep down in my heart he was lying. urrrrrrrr...... if they lie once, theyl lie again. wish i could take my own advice, but i agree with everyone...he is a waste of time, the trust is gone, so ignore him..... have the satisfaction that he will feel guilty for this for a long long time. even in ten years, if hes caught out by another woman, he will remember, the time you caught him out too. the guilt will last forever.... Link to comment
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