So I'm trying to find out how I can attract more girls

[Majin19]

I'm really not sure if it's more my looks or my shy/anti-social personality that turns off most people. I've only managed to get ~3 dates, and none within the past year. I also don't have any close friends, but I've always been a loner, so that doesn't bother me. I get along great with two girls at work, a girl I've known for years but never became really close with, and I met a girl in one of classes at school, but it didn't work out with her. So it would seem my personality isn't that bad.

 

So that leaves looks. I posted a pic of me from two years ago on link removed (I know, probably a mistake) and the vast majority of ratings have been 1s, 2s, and 5s. I included the pic as an attachment.

 

I'd really link some honest opinions. As far as what you can't tell from the pic, I'm 6' and ~135 lbs, so I'm pretty thin. Normally, I just wear jeans and t-shirts, and mostly dark colors (black, navy). Wondering if my choice of clothing might also have an effect. I'd really appreciate any advice.

[isisastaria]

Sweetheart, you are adorable. That picture reminds me of my ex-husband when he was younger. Now, he's really good looking, and most people comment on that. I will be honest with you. I think you look a little bit younger than your age. It might be that you have those "boyish" good looks. That isn't to say that as you age you won't look a little older. Also, my fiancee has been mistaken for an 18 year old. But he's 27! You know, he hated that he looked younger when he was about your age. People thought he might be 16. But now I have to kind of roll my eyes everytime we're out because all the girls (teens and older) stare at him.

 

The tux with the bow tie I think makes you look younger. If you were dressed differently, I'm sure you would look older. You know, you look like my son might when he's older! (he's in middle school right now..) I just know that behind "looks" and what you wear...all that stuff...is your personality. That's eventually what makes you happy with a girl. So I think you're adorable, you look a little bit young. But I don't think it's a big deal because you're so young! I wouldn't worry too much about girls hanging all over you anyway. Look at how much trouble THAT can be! (Grass is always greener, right?) Good luck with everything!

[emit_remmus]

Clothes mean nothing. Its more about your attitude that make the clothes. Dress however you feel. Just don't wear that tux all the time.

[Dako]

You say you have no close friends.

I suspect not forming bonds with others could be keeping you from making friends with men or women. In some regards, it's the same thing.

Social skills are useful in career and relationships, and I don't mean being phony, just feeling free to be yourself and responsive to others.

[Majin19]

Heh, that pic is my from my yearbook senior year of high school, so its two years old now. I just don't have any recent pictures and no access to a digital camera. But I've always had people tell me I look younger than I am. I suppose eventually I'll appreciate that, but it really sucks right now. College girls don't seem to like guys who look younger than them.

[Suesser Tod]

You say you have no close friends.

I suspect not forming bonds with others could be keeping you from making friends with men or women. In some regards, it's the same thing.

Social skills are useful in career and relationships, and I don't mean being phony, just feeling free to be yourself and responsive to others.

 

 

+1 on what Dako said. To be able to get into a relationship you must be able to create a small bond or friendship with said person.

 

 

Also, remember that the more people you know the more chances you'll have. 3 Dates for a loner is a good record. Usually a true loner spends years without a single date.

[Suesser Tod]

Heh, that pic is my from my yearbook senior year of high school, so its two years old now. I just don't have any recent pictures and no access to a digital camera. But I've always had people tell me I look younger than I am. I suppose eventually I'll appreciate that, but it really sucks right now. College girls don't seem to like guys who look younger than them.

 

 

 

And what are you doing trying to date college girls? Try dating 18 y/o girls, not girls your age, that will make things a little bit easier.

[Gracelove]

Do you wear cologne? Wearing a nice cologne could help you attract girls. And I would also suggest a different hairstyle than the one in the picture. Maybe get rid of the bang-look. Maybe cut your hair a little shorter, have you considered color?

[cara223]

nahh i wouldn't color it. maybe just go with a slightly messier look that isn't so uptight. or you could get it cut a lit shorter and spike it a little. try some new things and experiment a little.

[spirits]

I would also suggest a different hairstyle than the one in the picture

 

Agreed. Go to a hairstylist and pay them $30 for the haircut and request that they make a hairstyle for you. OR, purchase magazines with hundreds of hairstyles and choose the right one for you and request an at least $20/haircut hairstylist to cut it for you.

 

"hotornot" site doesn't emphasize on rating their natural look. At least not for men's picture. You'll be rated much higher if you look relatively clean, gelled hair, and good clothing.

 

by the way, your avatar... I remember that symbol =D

[Dating Coach]

The hair is completely out of style. I'd suggest trying to get a hair cut that's fashionable and "in".

[NovaAngel19]

..............

[Northalius]

Well, there's nothing wrong with your face, my friend.

 

I'd go with the others: try a different hairstyle... if you want to.

 

Only change what you want to, though. If you like your hairstyle now, then keep it. If you want to take a chance, then do it. Just try different things out: clothing, hairstyle, bodysprays (like AXE or Tag), etc. You can go back to your old self if you don't like'em... but it's always worth a try to change! You just never know what you'll like until you suck it up and go for it.

 

But, again, always change to what you like... not anyone else.

 

It's like those people that say they hate their job, they're miserable, but it makes 'em good money. Worth it? Not in my opinion.

[Majin19]

Well, I've been thinking about getting a new hairstyle for a little bit now, but I've been having trouble choosing a new one. I've had this one for as long as I can remember, so I can't really picture myself with a different one. I'm not really concerned with looking 'in' or fashonable, because I don't dress that way, but I do want something that at least looks good on me. I suppose my only option is to go with shorter hair. I'll probably just go get it cut and ask the girl to do it however she thinks it'll look best. I'll miss being able to run my fingers through it, but I guess its time for a change.

 

As for what I've been doing to attract girls, I haven't put all that much effort into it lately. My high school was all male, so I'm not really used to being around girls all that much. And after a few bad experiences with girls in my freashman year of college and at my old job, I kinda gave up for a while. Some advice with this would be appreciated, but you have to keep in mind that I'm really shy at first, and usually pretty quiet even when I get to know someone. I can't just walk up to random people and start a conversation.

[Boughs]

You look young. i too am blessed/haunted by this VERY young look. Its rough but, of course has its benefits.

 

I've realized, as I've made better friends with guys, that my confidence and my social skills with girls has risen. I think girls towards the latter years of college are actually looking for a RELATIONSHIP... they tend to be a bit more open minded and not so concerned with image.

 

Like you think, and is said, time... for maturity on their part and your own might be the key.

 

Try dressing nice, but casual... its all about mixing very "uptight" clothing and mixing it with something that is not uptight. Tie with collared shirt and jeans is a great way to start... make sure the tie does NOT hit your belt, also wear it LOOSE around your neck, you want it pretty darn short (but not so short it dwarfs you). Try growing your hair longer... let some facial hair come in? even if it doesn't suit you, knowing you can grow it adds confidence.

[Boughs]

I can't just walk up to random people and start a conversation.

 

Why not just start doing it... laugh at yourself.

 

Best to have tried and failed than not have tried at all...

 

My friend and I were walking on the beach, we saw two cute girls and he was like "lets keep walking"... i said "no lets go check it out". So we went over and started talking... complete flop it turned out to be. But you know what I have that story to tell you... it was silly but I learned something from it. Can't emphasize how important it is for you to make mistakes and do stupid things now while everyone else is doing the same. Discover yourself and your definitions for things... itll prove to be more fruitful in the coming years.

[Adzy]

you look young, but you can work with that. Be authentic. be friendly. most important thing is to be funny - dont take life too seriously.

 

if you simply cannot bring yourself to shorten your hair, let it grow. your hair needs to be more laid back.

 

drinking will help the shyness. its probably bad to mention, but drinking will definently ease those nerves, and maybe give you the ability to express yourself better to chicks, and get to know them.

 

numbers + msn are always good.

[Altruist]

Your face looks OK. I hope you don't wear that formal attire all the time, I mean tuxes, bow-ties the works. It makes you look uptight and chases away the pretty girls. I suggest something more casual like T-shirts and jeans. A baseball cap might also do you a lot of good + a haircut.

[the_final]

Hey while your doing Qu**r Eye for the Straight Guy, grow a chin strap. It makes you look like a jerk and women like jerks.

[Altruist]

Hey while your doing Qu**r Eye for the Straight Guy, grow a chin strap. It makes you look like a jerk and women like jerks.

To whom is this directed at? I find it in bad taste, pal.

[Leonhart]

Get a haircut. I know I'm just reiterating what the consensus has just said, but it was the first thing I noticed when I saw your pic. Aside from that, I don't know.

 

I'm not the one to listen to, either. I have no flying clue how to get an attractive girl either, so we're much alike. Even the weight thing - I'm 6'2", 145 lbs. Yeah, I'm HUGE. lol

 

Anyway, get a haircut and best of luck to you.

[ghost69]

yeah. the hair is plain. a clean cut fade with some spikeyness up top usually works good with the ladies.

[ghost69]

i'd also try putting on some weight. not fat, just weight.

[Leonhart]

If his metabolism is really fast, he won't be able to. If not, hey, then by all means...!

[ghost69]

metabolism is bs. you can always eat a bunch. and i'm not talking packing down crisco.