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Virgin Poll...Who's still a virgin?

iwishiknew

By iwishiknew
in Sex and Romance

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jonny15 Enthusiast

jonny15

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Jonny,

This poster, a lonely 30 y.o. "inexperienced" man (much like yourself), says it well:

 

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[TD=class: alt2]Originally Posted by somedude81

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I've had sex with a few women, but have never been close to any of them.

Sex without intimacy is empty.

 

 

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You can have sex with anyone you want. No difference to me.

What I and Sara have been saying is you need feelings and need that emotional connection.

 

The sex being empty thing is just an opinion.

 

The only way someone could know for sure is if they have it, and it's gonna simply be on a person to person basis when it comes to how they feel.

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sjjohnson89 Apprentice

sjjohnson89

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The sex being empty thing is just an opinion.

 

The only way someone could know for sure is if they have it, and it's gonna simply be on a person to person basis when it comes to how they feel.

 

You can be certain that having sex with someone you connect with and care for will be a a lot less empty than having sex with just someone. Sex without intimacy is empty its that simple, but, the sad fact is that some people dont develop emotionally to the point where this affects them. I understand that you are frustrated, you feel at your age and as a man things should be different and not like how they are, i get that. Just make sure you think hard before you commit to having sex with someone you dont have deep feelings for, you WILL remember your first time forever, do you want to remember empty sex? Its your choice though, but, youll likely regret it later on down the road if not practically immediately after.

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MD Geist Community Regular

MD Geist

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Still, Geist, that's your opinion, not so much experience, as you really haven't dated that much to know.

Maybe that's what you heard some girls tell other girls.

 

If you were in a certain business, say retail or accounting, one that relied on real numbers, you wouldn't rely on opinons and hunches, but go for the hard statistical data that shows female buyers under 30 y.o. tend to prefer such-and-such type of car or package size of pork chops.

 

If you told one of your customers or superiors, "Well, most women wouldn't want to buy this type of SUV" and didn't have facts to back it up, you'd look bad and "inexperienced" in your field.

 

It all depends on how the product or should I say investment sounds to them will ultimately determine if they will buy or not.

 

I was talking recently with a very experienced woman and she says talking about prior sex experience is a huge mistake to a girl. But unforunately the topic will evenitually come up as the relationship progresses. There's really no way to avoid it especially if your not having sex with her she's going to "think" whats wrong with him?

 

 

As you've made a big deal on how women are (supposedly) scared of inexperienced men, what has your dating experience showed you?

Has this issue come up much?

 

Have many actually been turned-off by your lack of experience?

 

 

OFF-TOPIC:

The pic of the woman in the ad at the top of this thread, she's a looker. Gotta watch that show.

 

I typically try and go for the older crowd of women 28-30 beyond and most of them are divorced women who have been recently divorced or just got out of a very long term relationship and based what I know I they aren't virgins. Sex is more causal and they seem to be more opened about it. You'll be surprised how often girls talk about sex as much as men do. Things do turn ackward once they start talking about their experiences though. What else can do? Lie to them? Say I've had "My fun before" maybe she'll say okay! and overlook.

 

There was one girl who had a huge emphsis on kissing because she said if a guy can't kiss then he can't do "Other things" and she was very turned off by the fact I had never kissed a woman or made out in my life.

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ClarenceRutherford Collaborator

ClarenceRutherford

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I was talking recently with a very experienced woman and she says talking about prior sex experience is a huge mistake to a girl. But unforunately the topic will evenitually come up as the relationship progresses. There's really no way to avoid it especially if your not having sex with her she's going to "think" whats wrong with him?

Agree with that lady you talked with. Try not to bring up your experience early on.

Let the relationship develop before you delve into such topics. A better time for such a talk would be as or after you two are "making out" on the couch (kissing, hugging).

If she brings it up earlier than you like, tell her you don't want to talk about that now and only want to concentrate on her...

There was one girl who had a huge emphsis on kissing because she said if a guy can't kiss then he can't do "Other things" and she was very turned off by the fact I had never kissed a woman or made out in my life.

There's a way to end that kind of inexperience -- go out and date. And get your first kiss.

As women are so seemingly willing to spread their legs these days, would think getting a kiss wouldn't be an insurmountable task.

 

Why did you tell her you had never kissed anyone?

If a woman asks you that early on, tell her it's "too early" to discuss such personal things.

Or... if you want to be REALLY risky... move forward and kiss her then. Problem solved.

 

That "sudden" action could show her you're not a shy and inexpeirenced guy...

 

I typically try and go for the older crowd of women 28-30 beyond and most of them are divorced women who have been recently divorced or just got out of a very long term relationship and based what I know I they aren't virgins. Sex is more causal and they seem to be more opened about it. You'll be surprised how often girls talk about sex as much as men do.

Wise man. Those women seem more interested in relationships.

And don't go to thinking all of them have been through a lot of relationships. In her mid-30s, my wife had only one serious relationship prior to me, and that was years before we met, so we were of similar experience.

 

At your age, don't focus on finding a virgin, though you may find one. They are out there, Geist. That woman I dated at 26, the NEAR fiance (am still a little hurt over that whole thing), she told me she was a 30 y.o. virgin.

 

Things do turn ackward once they start talking about their experiences though. What else can do? Lie to them? Say I've had "My fun before" maybe she'll say okay! and overlook.

Maybe not lie, but commit a "sin of OMISSION" rather than "commission..."

Act cool and confident.

If you get asked, say something like, "What do you take me for?" and proceed for a kiss.

 

****

 

On your virgnity, I can sense the desparation here. I know how you feel.

But I think this is about more than your virginity and involves your sense of self.

 

Am not going to stop trying to dissuade you from visiting Vegas, as you've posted in your other thread. That won't help anything when it's a relationship you want to end the loneliness. A prostitute won't solve those feelings. believe me, Geist, I've been there.

Was similar to you and Jonny in many ways.

Sure, I had sex a couple of times as an adult but no real relationships from 19-26. That's a long time.

 

The woman I met and fell in love with @30, no way was I gonna give her up and wonder if she was really "the one..."

 

I would recommend you ramp up your dating and get better at that.

When you find the right woman, you can enjoy that emotional and physical intimacy you desire...

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somethngwrng Enthusiast

somethngwrng

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I was a virgin when I came to these boards and was until I was nearly 26. I lost it to a girl who claimed to "really like me" and want a relationship with me - after we slept together she dumped me. I received one message from her (on facebook) about 6 months later, I didn't reply and never heard from her again. It's not only guys who pull this act.

 

For about a year and a half after that, I didn't even kiss another girl. Then, my ex came along. She was everything that could possibly be wrong. But I loved her anyway. I paid a huge price. Do I regret being with her? I'm not sure. I certainly had fun and great sex while she taught me everything. She betrayed me, like everyone expected she would. She had a history of doing so. I don't know if I regret it. It certainly hurts more than being alone ever did. But I got a good 6 months of feeling amazing before things started going badly.

 

My life changed radically throughout this entire time. The biggest differences in my life were my social circles and getting a job that I enjoyed. Being respected in my social circle for being good at what I do. Managing my money well and staying fit. These are the things that caused women to view me differently than before, in my opinion.

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thevic Apprentice

thevic

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I heard in class that 90% of people over the age of 22 have had intercourse.

 

I guess that would put me in the minority then. I am in no rush to lose it, because I actually value my chastity. Meaningless sex is just that - meaningless. I would rather die a lonely, sexless old geezer than as Wilt Chamberland. Sadly, I don't believe there is any middle ground for me. But that's okay.

 

Sex is something I'm losing interest in more and more all the time.

 

My dear its good that you are not ready to lose your virginity meaninglessly but losing interest in sex more and more,I think,is scary unless you will regain it when it matters.

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ExcitedtoSleep Apprentice

ExcitedtoSleep

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And I honestly don't get the meaning behind it. Like, why is it SUCH a big thing?

 

Society perpetuates the idea that sex is spiritual in nature.

 

I think that the men who are put down for being virgins are those who are trying to engage in casual sex but cannot get a woman to sleep with them.

 

Women are put down for being virgins? This is news to me.

 

As a man, I respect a girl who is waiting until she has met the right man. However, I do not think that waiting until marriage makes any sense at all.

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junebug123 Community Regular

junebug123

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So much emphasis being put on something which other species probably do as naturally as eating and sleeping. As i child i would go outside see the birds doing their mating rituals or actually engage in coitus and think nothing special or mythical about the act. Sometimes i wonder why practicing virgins feel the need to empower a trait which isn't necessarily viewed as powerful by any standards except those of the church.

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jonny15 Enthusiast

jonny15

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So much emphasis being put on something which other species probably do as naturally as eating and sleeping. As i child i would go outside see the birds doing their mating rituals or actually engage in coitus and think nothing special or mythical about the act. Sometimes i wonder why practicing virgins feel the need to empower a trait which isn't necessarily viewed as powerful by any standards except those of the church.

 

What's a practicing virgin?

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