Virgin Poll...Who's still a virgin?

[ClarenceRutherford]

That's true in a way, but people might also wonder why a person doesn't have a lot of experience either when they are at a certain age.

Not saying they would prefer someone who has had a million one night stands or relationships or something.

 

But say there are two people in their 30's, one who is a virgin and never had a relationship and one who has had a few long-term relationships, the one who has a bit more experience is going to wonder why their SO is still a virgin, or hasn't been in a relationship.

Having relationships and being a virgin are two diff. things.

 

There are people, believe it or not, who aren't virgins (had sex only once or twice in a casual situation), but never had a long-term relationship.

 

Yes, I agree to some extent that if you're in your 30s and you've never had a relationship, that might look unusual, but not the end of the world as there are men and women like that too. (just read some of the threads here). Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them.

 

Maybe the guy/gal didn't meet the right person, lived in a small town with less availability, etc.

I know a guy from work who's in his early 50s who on facebook recently said the only woman who he ever got a kiss from was at a bar... He's well known in his field and has a lot of friends. He lives in a small town and may not have a good pool of available women.

I'm not saying they are going to look down on them, or anything, but that question is going to be in their mind. They are going to ask about, and that inexperienced person will have to explain their situation. Whether it be that they were waiting for a special someone, or for marriage, or because they just couldn't get someone. If the person is lucky, their SO will be understanding.

Those are all legitimate reasons, as well as for religious reasons, fear of STDs, fear of pregnancy, etc.

Yes, the other should understand.

 

Take my wife. I met her when I was 30, she 33. Though she dated, she had only one significant long-term serious relationship before meeting me. That engagement ended 10 years before she met me -- so she went a long time between relationships.

 

She wasn't a virgin -- she lost hers after she got engaged.

------------It didn't matter to me that she was or wasn't a virgin.

Personally, I just didn't want to marry a woman who had slept with dozens of guys -- maybe 2-4...

 

She was a traditional Catholic girl, in terms of morality, who wouldn't have sex with guys on the third date, etc. or until she was "serious" with the guy. And she never got serious with anyone for like most her 20s.

I know still debate about if I should do a one nighter, and no amount of advice that I might regret is will help. It just goes through one ear and out the other.

Still don't think that's a good plan. So you have sex that one time. It won't be great, trust me (read posts on women's first times).

It's something I have to learn for myself, but who knows I might get lucky and find someone who is understanding.

That is a better plan. Lose your virginity to someone you love or have strong feelings for.

If not, one night I might just get it over with.

I've argued this with guys -- even Christian virgins in their late 20s - who think going to a brothel in Vegas or losing their's to a woman at a bar would be a great idea.

Doing the wrong thing for the right reason is never a good plan. You will have regrets.

And I also know that a guy isn't going to respect me for having a one night stand. I have my little reasons for wanting to lose, one being I don't want to be a 25 year old virgin,

Mam, that won't be a problem. 25 is not "old." If you were 30-35, you may have reason to worry, but 25 is not old. No one will think you're an oddball if you don't have "experience.."

and I also don't want to be inexperienced for a future boyfriend.

Unless the guy is a player, most guys don't mind that.

However, my main reason for wanting it is just because I can't get it off my mind, I think I think about sex more than they say men do.

Got some news for you Ashley

Having sex isn't gonna get it out of your mind.

 

You think you're thinking and lusting about sex now?

Wait until after you have it a couple of times.

You'll crave it even more.

 

I too thought a lot about sex in my 20s - but didn't make it my overaching issue.

Even in marriage, you think about it a lot. I can't get enough. Esp. if your partner doesn't have as high a drive as you.

Old Spice is my favourite cologne, last night there was a guy at the bar that was wearing it and I wanted to take him right there. I had very naughty thoughts about him, lol. I was ready to grab him and take him home with me. One of these nights I'm just going to do it. Everytime I see a hot guy I think about us having sex with them. I wanted my friend last night too, which would have been because we are good friends.

This is all normal.... guys fantasize too.

 

But I fear what I'm saying isn't gonna make any diff. Your fallin for a lot of misconceptions.

But, you're gonna have to learn your own mistakes.

 

My advice is always:

When it comes to regrets, always pack light.

[twentiesgirl86]

 

Still don't think that's a good plan. So you have sex that one time. It won't be great, trust me (read posts on women's first times).

I already know that. It's pretty much something that girls find out when they are young and have that discussion with their mother. I also know sex does get better though the more I do it. So I go out, get it over and done with and it hurts, but I go again and it gets better and better each time. I was just talking to my sister about this about a half hour ago. She lost her virginity to a guy she barely knew at a party and she said she doesn't regret it. She had a few more one night stands after that. She told me most people make too big of a deal about sex, and if I really want to go out and have a one night stand then do it. Just make sure I have protection. She said it helped her not feel so nervous with her boyfriend she is with now, and they've been together for five years and have a baby together.

 

 

Mam, that won't be a problem. 25 is not "old." If you were 30-35, you may have reason to worry, but 25 is not old. No one will think you're an oddball if you don't have "experience.."

When did I say it was old? All I said was I don't want to be a 25 and a virgin. It has nothing to do with thinking I am old. I know 25 isn't old. I don't expect you to understand that I just don't want to be that age and a virgin. The only people who would understand are ones who are in my situation. Although on a lighter note, being called mam does make me feel old.

 

Got some news for you Ashley

Having sex isn't gonna get it out of your mind.

 

You think you're thinking and lusting about sex now?

Wait until after you have it a couple of times.

You'll crave it even more.

Yeah I expect I would. I work with all guys at work, who talk about how they don't get enough sex by their wives or girlfriends. And when my mom was single, it was all she would talk about too. All I can think of is 'at least you get some' when they talk about it. Craving sex more once I have it is not a good enough reason for me not to want to do it. I don't give a crap if later I crave it more. I'll worry about that in the future. The only thing I care about right now is the cravings I have now. All I care about right now is the present, and the fact that I am probably going to ravage some poor guy when I am drunk if I don't get it soon. It was pretty close last night.

 

 

 

 

But I fear what I'm saying isn't gonna make any diff.

No it's not. Especially after the long talk I just had with my sister. I'm actually texting my mom about it right now, and she told me she had one night stands in her time. Just make sure I am on birth control (which I am) and always make sure he has a condom. She doesn't think I should do it at a bar though. She always hooked up with men through friends, because that way she could find out about their sexual history. It's actually how she met my step father. He was a one night who ended up wanting her in the end.

 

And you're right, I have to learn from my mistakes. How can I learn from mistakes if I don't do it? I honestly think I would rather have that regret than to not experience sex, even if it hurts the first time. At least I would know, and at least when I have it again it won't hurt. It's kind of like with a guy I just asked out the other day. He said no, but at least now I know he isn't interested in me. I got rejected, it hurt, but I can move on now. I kind of figured he didn't like me (not the co-worker I told you about, this is a diff guy) but at least I am not going to regret not asking him, and wondering if we would ever date.

[friendsoulmate]

Ashley868,

I am the 41-year-old, virgin Christian man. I am still a virgin, mostly because I have had difficulty making friends, falling-in-love, and getting married. I don't know if you are religious or not, but if you are not religious, then think about how casual sex will affect your future marriage, if you are interested in being married. I think a non-religious person could still be an abstinent virgin, until marriage, although this is rare, because of virgin women saying "yes" to men who have tried casual sex and have enjoyed it too. When I was your age, I was interested in love, sex, hugging and kissing. Sometimes, when I was at a magazine rack, I would sneak a peek at a penthouse magazine. I never bought one. I was really fascinated at how vaginas were all created for the same purpose, but they were also unique, and looked different, similar to the pedals of flowers in a garden. I was taught to feel guilty, after looking at porn. I did feel guilty and tried not to make a habit of looking at it. I knew all of my sisters were getting this experience, because they all got married young. I was raised Catholic, so my thoughts focused on sex, within marriage, because it makes a better, stronger marriage. After reading about sexual compatibility on this forum, I asked my 76-year-old mother if she had talked to my father about sexual compatibilty, before marriage. She told me the idea of questioning whether their is "sexual compatibility" never entered their minds. When a couple is in love, they communicate and figure-out what works and what doesn't work in the bedroom. My mom was happily married for 41 years, until my dad died. If you believe that casual sex and sex outside of marriage is alright and should be alright, then, if you start to have problems with your future marriage, many people (or couples) with this similar belief, will not hesitate to cheat on their spouses, and go have extramarital affairs, which defeats the purpose of the marriage vows.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Originally Posted by FloridaMan

But I fear what I'm saying isn't gonna make any diff.

No it's not. Especially after the long talk I just had with my sister.

And the quotes I PM'd you from a woman on ENA warning women to not get into sex for the wrong reasons, her points make no sense either?

 

MY PM COPIED HERE FOR OTHERS' BENEFIT.... (so advice doesn't fall on deaf ears)

Just don't have sex with someone for the wrong reason, it will bring you regrets.

Wait until it's someone you really care for. I've read many posts on ENA from women who didn't wait, and regret it, like these from a longtime ENA poster...

 

To those who waited for the right person, you gave your partner a terrific gift. For those who are still waiting, I truly respect that you have enough self respect not to just lose it. I lost mine at 16 to a guy I thought loved me, only to have him ditch me a month later for someone else. If I could take it back I wish I could and give it to someone who cared.

Yes I do regret losing my virginity to a guy who later broke my heart, and I do regret many of the times I slept with men who didn't care. In fact I regret much of my past life with regards to dating because it's exactly why I'm having issues now (broken hearted by a man I loved who rejected me like I rejected him years ago). Many years ago I made the choice to be a born again virgin because I see the mistakes I made. It's funny because I go to another forum with younger women and they are all talking about sleeping with a guy on a first date. I often tell them to re think this because they could end up with regrets like I do.

Yeah, her words must mean nothing.

She lost her virginity to a guy she barely knew at a party

and she said she doesn't regret it. She had a few more one night stands after that

Your sister's such a shining example of wise decisions. Get drunk at the same time so you don't think clearly. Makes a lot of sense to waste your life like that.

 

Just bec. one woman is like that doesn't mean that's the right thing for you to do. Brothers and sisters aren't always like each other and one who gets pregnant and has many children out of wedlock, that may not be what the other sibling wants, for ex.

 

 

Why come onto an advice board when you have your mind made up already and waste time asking others what they think?

 

At least others may benefit reading this and FriendSoulMate's comments.

 

 

 

 

[twentiesgirl86]

 

Your sister's such a shining example of wise decisions. Get drunk at the same time so you don't think clearly. Makes a lot of sense to waste your life like that.

 

 

Why come onto an advice board when you have your mind made up already and waste time asking others what they think?

 

At least others may benefit reading this and FriendSoulMate's comments.

 

I hope they do benefit from it. And I came on this message board to ask advice about other things too, not just about my virginity. I took your advice seriously about my co-worker. I've been moving on from him. So don't say I am just wasting time not taking peoples advice. I just don't understand why you're getting so offended about the fact that I am not listening about this topic though. I appreciate the advice, but that doesn't mean I have to listen to only your advice. You aren't the only one who has PMed me either about the virginity issue or my co-worker. There are actually other women who have PMed me and told me to do what I feel is right. Some woman sent me a long post about her experiences about virginity and one night stands. She was all for it. I had one who wasn't.

 

I came on here to vent about my situation, not to have someone insult me or my sister. It makes me mad if anyone insults my sister or any of my family. You might not agree with her decision, but your sarcastic post is basically calling her an idiot.

 

And I haven't exactly made up my mind on the situation, I still debate about it, but the more opinions I am getting from people the more I am leaning towards it.

 

Just bec. one woman is like that doesn't mean that's the right thing for you to do.

And just because there are women who have regretted it, doesn't mean I will either.

 

In the end, I just have to do what the one lady told me to do. Do what I feel is best for me, not what others feel. But I should have the right to come on here to vent about being a virgin.

[ClarenceRutherford]

She lost her virginity to a guy she barely knew at a party and she said she doesn't regret it. She had a few more one night stands after that

Looking at your post objectively, as if the woman you described wasn't your sister and wasn't someone you knew, you would tell me that would be smart behavior?

Getting so close to someone you don't even know? Would you even know that person's name?

 

What if that person was married? Or just got divorced?

What if that person used a phony name?

Or had a criminal background? Or did drugs?

Or already had 2-3 women he's had childen out of wedlock with?

 

Or any number of other or's?

 

There are so many things you may not know about someone only within an hour of meeting them. But you know better on this.

And getting rid of your virginity -- no matter how -- is much more important than common sense.

 

I didn't insult you or your sister, just pointed out the behavior.

[twentiesgirl86]

Looking at your post objectively, as if the woman you described wasn't your sister and wasn't someone you knew, you would tell me that would be smart behavior?

Getting so close to someone you don't even know? Would you even know that person's name?

 

What if that person was married? Or just got divorced?

What if that person used a phony name?

Or had a criminal background? Or did drugs?

Or already had 2-3 women he's had childen out of wedlock with?

 

Well that's what my mother said when I talked to her about it earlier today. She said if I actually decide on a one night stand, then do it with someone through a friend or one of the guys I know. She said she wouldn't advise me going to a bar and doing it because I don't know anything about their sexual history. She said if I get a friend to hook me up with someone to make sure I know things about them first. She said she had plenty of one night stands when she was single, but never with a man she just met at a bar. She didn't say I should or I shouldn't do a one night, just to be careful about how I go about it.

 

And I am not going to judge other women on their decisions on how they go about losing their virginity. If it wasn't my sister who did it, and it was some other woman I would still probably listen to what she has to say about it. The only time I am judgemental about women and sex is if they sell their bodies. There are actually women who sell their virginity I heard. Now that's going too far. So I guess that's one exception I guess I will judge a woman on how they lose it.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I was just talking to my sister about this about a half hour ago. She lost her virginity to a guy she barely knew at a party and she said she doesn't regret it. She had a few more one night stands after that. She told me most people make too big of a deal about sex, and if I really want to go out and have a one night stand then do it.

 

Actually, the people who are making the big deal out of sex are the ones running out having casual hookups and one night stands....running out trolling for sex. They are the ones who can't seem to function without their sex fix...so they are the ones making a big deal out of sex...not the ones who are waiting for a meaningful relationship.

 

As for your sister and your mother...just because both of them ran out having casual sex doesn't mean it is the wisest thing to do. Of course your mother and sister see nothing wrong with encouraging you to go ahead and just grab someone to get it over with..because if they cautioned you not to, then they would look like hypocrites. Big deal that your sister is now happily married..that doesn't change the fact that by running out and banging a bunch of guys she still put her physical health at risk as well as her emotional well-being. She might be painting you a rosey picture right now but I wonder if she had her fair share of pain when guys she banged didn't call her back or treated her like crap or she fell for them but was just viewed as their plaything. Many men and women have tons of casual sex and then go on to happy marriages...but the two are completely separate issues. Just as many women and man bang everything in sight and end up in miserable marriages.

 

Yes, it is true that many people look down on older virgins..I have seen plenty of posts on this forum that clearly indicate that. However, that does not mean you should be running out and having a casual encounter in order to make yourself more "marketable" to the masses who think that way. There are people out there who don't think like that. It is the people who turn up their noses at virgins who are the ones who make a big deal about sex...because really, it should be about the person....there is more to a person than whether or not they have had sex. Face it, 13 year olds are having sex...does that mean they are superior to older people who haven't had sex? What does a 13 year old know about life..so big deal if that 13 year old knows all the right sexual moves. You need to put this into perspective and stop listening to the masses who think that having sex makes you suddenly one of them and acceptable into their exclusive club. It is so exclusive that 13 year olds are part of it..that women with babies from different fathers are part of it...that playboys are part of it..that Hugh Hefner that dirty old man, is part of it...that Charlie Sheen, a totally messed up man is part of it....and the list goes on.

 

As for the 35 year old man you are interested in...well, with an 11 year age difference he would just be happy that some young woman is interested in him so that he can parade her on his arm.

 

If you make your viriginity a big deal to someone then they will turn it into a big deal. The idea is to downplay it. Meet someone you really care about and if he questions you about it just blow it off as if it is no big deal. Acting insecure and apologetic is not the best way to go. You have to be firm about it and have the attitude of "yes, so I am a virgin, got a problem with that"...and picture yourself as Clint Eastwood when you tell him that...then say " Come on, make my day" LOL. In other words, show that you are secure and comfortable...it puts you on the offensive rather than on the defensive and takes the wind out of the sails of the person who would dare try to look down on you.

[twentiesgirl86]

If you make your viriginity a big deal to someone then they will turn it into a big deal. The idea is to downplay it.

I don't even want the guy to know about it. However, I've heard a guy can feel it because of tightness or they can feel it if they the hymen break. I know it can break on it's own before sex from other activity, but I have no idea of knowing if it has or not. Which is where a one night stand could come in handy. But in the it's my decision to make, although I don't think it will be anytime soon. Have too much to do, and I work a lot. So unless I get in a relationship soon, which is highly unlikely because of work and my looks I will be debating it.

 

Oh and my sister isn't married yet. They've just been in a relationship for five years. And none of those guys mattered to her according to her. Although my mom doesn't think I should do it in the way my sister did if I choose to do it that way. She said my sister knew nothing about their sexual history which was dangerous.

 

And I think it's wrong that 13 year olds have sex. At my age i even think it's wrong for 16 year olds too, they seem too young to me now if I really think about it.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

So by the time the guy would realize it, the deed would already be done. If he makes a big deal out of it you can still downplay it and basically turn it into a "so what, who cares" kind of thing to turn the tables on him. In other words, your attitude should be one that makes HIM look like an idiot for turning it into a big deal. The idea is that NOBODY should make you feel inferior or freakish or like something is weird about you simply because you have never had sex...and if they do then you go on the offensive and turn the tables on him to make him look like a jerk. The idea is to have confidence in yourself, in who you are as a person, your accomplishments and your personality. It is no big accomplishment to have sex..it is not rocket science and it is simply another mode of entertainment for those people into casual sex. Just like not everyone is into bungy jumping, XBox or working out...not everyone is into casual sex as their choice of entertainment and passing the time.

 

I will also say that just because you know a person doesn't mean they are any less of a risk. You may have known someone for years but they are into casual sex with anyone and they could still have contracted an STD because of their risky behaviour. I have seen enough posts on this forum from people who have had sex with someone one day and then sex with someone else a few days later. So while they may have had a blood test the week before showing they are clean...they could very well have just contracted something from the person they had sex with a few days before you. Face it, if someone is up for a casual romp with you, chances are they have done this loads of times so know matter how well you think you know them...you don't really know their health status and how many times they threw caution to the wind and had unprotected sex.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Plus, it looks well of someone who hasn't rushed into a sexual relationship, and may show that person has a little more maturity.

 

Remember, when it comes time in a relationship when a couple has that "talk" about each's sexual experience, it's not the one who has had very little or no sexual experience that has to explain him or herself....

This is the kind of thing - posted by a woman -- that I was talkin' about.

 

link removed

20 years old and 6 people.

I was with my ex for 5 years from when I was 15. I had an 'affair' with this guy for about two years out of that five, and I also slept with three other guys during that time. Yeah, a mess. None were like one nighters with strangers, I've been friends with them for a whole.

Now I'm with my current partner, my 6th

 

He knew I'd been with my ex since I was 15, when I told him he assumed I must have started having sex really early as I knew my current partner while I was still with my ex, so he knew the other numbers didn't come after the ex.

 

Having to explain that to a current partner is a good enough reason never to do such a dumb thing.

[Tempest Desh]

@FloridaMan: I'm 24...and I have gotten enough raised eye brows for being a virgin male at 24...mostly because the girls who said so admitted that they found me attractive and a decent guy (i.e. not a jerk or a pushover), lol...

[LostnConfused]

@FloridaMan: I'm 24...and I have gotten enough raised eye brows for being a virgin male at 24...mostly because the girls who said so admitted that they found me attractive and a decent guy (i.e. not a jerk or a pushover), lol...

 

When I was still a virgin and I told the girls I was dating that I wanted to love them before we had sex they were always in disbelief too.

[Tempest Desh]

It's almost flattering...until you run into a * * * * -blocking b***h...like my friend-girl's cousin. I creep-zoned her (she's the kind to, at 20, brag about having gotten nailed by 5/6 different guys)...and after that, she did everything she could to make me uncomfortable or get people to not accept me. Dunno what's with people like her.

[ClarenceRutherford]

@FloridaMan: I'm 24...and I have gotten enough raised eye brows for being a virgin male at 24...mostly because the girls who said so admitted that they found me attractive and a decent guy (i.e. not a jerk or a pushover), lol...

Tempest,

Why do they sense you were a virgin?

How and why did that come up in the conversation?

I'm assuming this was before the date.

 

Don't worry about "raised eyebrows."

 

Just like if you weren't a virgin and met a woman who was saving herself for the right guy.

Would she really feel low if you didn't respect that?

See. It's a matter of self-respect.

When I was still a virgin and I told the girls I was dating that I wanted to love them before we had sex they were always in disbelief too.

Would think most women would appreciate that. A man with "feelings" and concern....

..... one who actually cares about the woman he's seeing.... and himself.

 

I often felt that same way and never pressed women for sex.

Didn't always adhere to my standard, though...

 

There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, inexperienced, or having little sexual experience like I would describe myself in my mid-20s (wasn't a virgin but didn't have a lot of experience).

 

Believe it or not, there are women out there that are virgins or have only had one or two partners, make responsible life choices and are seriously looking for men that haven't slept with every girl they met...

[jonny15]

When I was still a virgin and I told the girls I was dating that I wanted to love them before we had sex they were always in disbelief too.

 

That could be because they were young and weren't waiting for love.

 

I know i'm not waiting for love.

 

I don't get why someone would wait until the cemicals in their brain went haywire.

[ClarenceRutherford]

I know i'm not waiting for love.

 

I don't get why someone would wait until the cemicals in their brain went haywire.

Johnny,

Those same chemicals can drive a guy into an inappropriate sexual relationship, one without love. Those kinds of situations aren't great either.

Been there, done that.

 

Rushing into sex accelerates the relationship too fast. Your mind gets clouded by the sex and you can easily confuse sex for love.

 

Like a stew, let it simmer and come to the right temperature on the stove. Or, don't pull something out of the oven if it's not fully baked and ready.

 

 

Johnny, I have read your situation and certainly know what it's like being unsuccessful at relationships.

 

There's a diff. between just having sex vs. making love with someone -- where you put your heart, your soul and your passion into the other person.

 

 

---------Trust me, it's much better to be in a relationship where you love the other.

You won't be disappointed.

[jonny15]

Johnny,

Those same chemicals can drive a guy into an inappropriate sexual relationship, one without love. Those kinds of situations aren't great either.

Been there, done that.

 

Rushing into sex accelerates the relationship too fast. Your mind gets clouded by the sex and you can easily confuse sex for love.

 

It's called lust.

 

Like a stew, let it simmer and come to the right temperature on the stove. Or, don't pull something out of the oven if it's not fully baked and ready.

 

 

Johnny, I have read your situation and certainly know what it's like being unsuccessful at relationships.

 

There's a diff. between just having sex vs. making love with someone -- where you put your heart, your soul and your passion into the other person.

 

 

---------Trust me, it's much better to be in a relationship where you love the other.

You won't be disappointed.

 

I personally don't think i'm mature enough for a really serious relashionship.

 

Most people don't hop into one when they first get into dating a sex.

 

It's usually something years down the road when they are in love with someone.

 

Most people who claim to be in love aren't even close to it.

[twentiesgirl86]

 

Most people don't hop into one when they first get into dating a sex.

 

It's usually something years down the road when they are in love with someone.

 

Most people who claim to be in love aren't even close to it.

I have to agree with this. You go to a High School, where two fifteen year olds claim they are in love, but what does a 15 year old know about love? I know so many of my girlfriends who thought they were in love im High School claim now they know they weren't. So to only wait until your in a relationship to have sex doesn't make sense, because a lot of people claim to be in love even as adults. Then they find out they aren't later. My old room mate is a good example of this, but she has never regretted having sex with any of the guys she was in a relationship with. She knows she didn't love them, but she doesn't regret being intimate with them either.

[jonny15]

I have to agree with this. You go to a High School, where two fifteen year olds claim they are in love, but what does a 15 year old know about love? I know so many of my girlfriends who thought they were in love im High School claim now they know they weren't. So to only wait until your in a relationship to have sex doesn't make sense, because a lot of people claim to be in love even as adults. Then they find out they aren't later. My old room mate is a good example of this, but she has never regretted having sex with any of the guys she was in a relationship with. She knows she didn't love them, but she doesn't regret being intimate with them either.

 

I agree with everything you just said.

 

And also, all that that stuff they go through gives them the experience needed in most case to have serious relashionships when they get older.

 

I am not an experienced person when it comes to any of that.

 

It seems so far out there to not only get sex, but get dates and have a relashionship with another person.

[twentiesgirl86]

I agree with everything you just said.

 

And also, all that that stuff they go through gives them the experience needed in most case to have serious relashionships when they get older.

 

I am not an experienced person when it comes to any of that.

 

It seems so far out there to not only get sex, but get dates and have a relashionship with another person.

Yeah I agree. You gain experience as you grow, and learn from your mistakes. The more experienced you are, the happier you'll be able to make your partner. And if your partner is happy, than you are happy as well. And then you have a good relationship. And I'm not just talking about sex either.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Let me rephrase that. I don't think that came out the way I intended:

 

It's not bad to be a virgin, and non-virgins aren't necessarily better than those that have not had sex.

Nor are virgins inherently better than non-virgins.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Yeah I agree. You gain experience as you grow, and learn from your mistakes. The more experienced you are, the happier you'll be able to make your partner. And if your partner is happy, than you are happy as well. And then you have a good relationship. And I'm not just talking about sex either.

 

Some of the most relationship and sex-experienced people I know are some of the worst people when it comes to relationships. Experience doesn't necessarily make someone all-knowing...people often keep repeating the same mistakes with each experience they have...making each person they are in a relationship with miserable. Control freaks never learn to let go of control so they every single relationship they are in ends up a nightmare for the person they are with. Clingy people tend to be clingy and smothering in every single relationship they are in driving that relationship into the ground. When it comes to relationships, many people actually don't learn from their mistakes, no matter how many relationships they have been in. Also, just because your partner is happy, doesn't mean you will necessarily be happy. Happiness comes from within. There are many posts on this forum from men and women who were happy in their relationship and got dumped because their partner wasn't happy and they never knew it.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

It's called lust.

 

 

 

I personally don't think i'm mature enough for a really serious relashionship.

 

Most people don't hop into one when they first get into dating a sex.

 

It's usually something years down the road when they are in love with someone.

 

Most people who claim to be in love aren't even close to it.

 

If you are not mature enough to have a relationship, are you really mature enough to be a father should you and your sex partner accidentally make a baby? Are you really mature enough to deal with an STD?

[jonny15]

If you are not mature enough to have a relationship, are you really mature enough to be a father should you and your sex partner accidentally make a baby? Are you really mature enough to deal with an STD?

 

Based on that, I guess I should never have sex.....but.....everything can have a consequences.

 

I think that experience can help maturity.