Virgin Poll...Who's still a virgin?

[jonny15]

Was that any good?

 

It was pretty tasty.

 

Back to the topic, I could end my "inebriation" virginity pretty quickly by going to a store and....

But guy/gals in their late 20s and 30s, their circumstance is much more difficult, finding the right partner, and wanting to do it for the right reasons, STDs, pregnancy, not wanting to be viewed as "easy," (for the gals) etc.

 

And alot of that is assumptions.

 

Tons of people do it for tons of reasons.

 

Most do it to have it happen.

 

I think alot of people would love to be good for that special someone. And it's tough to be when your a virgin.

 

And most women do not want an inexperienced man.

[jonny15]

IThat's up to you, Jonny.

Methinks you're lonely and really do want a relationship. Most people do want that connection.

 

It's not up to me.

 

I cannot create those feelings.

 

I could easily fall in love with someone I have never even touched before.

 

You're right. You can control who you have sex with.

 

I think sex is more chemically-related than feelings of love. Yes, love can be mixed-up emotions, but long-term, love is based on friendship and care for the other person, not just wild feelings or hormones running wild. Sex may be more hormone-based, though I'm no scientist or sexologist.

 

Sex is about physical feeling. Love is not.

 

There are risks in falling in love. Everything could be going well, you two have set a date and announced your engagement. Then, out of the blue, she awakens one day and discovers she doesn't really love you. Leaving you crushed and devastated.

But I think the the reward is worth more than the risk.

 

Sure, a guy could have sex with anyone. Am just saying use some common sense here and try to do that when you truly have feelings for the other person.

You won't regret it.

 

Sex with anyone? Uhhhhh....i'm doubting it.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Originally Posted by FloridaMan

That's up to you, Jonny.

Methinks you're lonely and really do want a relationship. Most people do want that connection.

It's not up to me.

I cannot create those feelings.

I could easily fall in love with someone I have never even touched before.

Yes, you can create those feelings. Not like snapping your fingers or suddenly finding you're in love... it all takes work.

 

Lay the groundwork by meeting women and talking with them, even if you don't get to date all of them.

Work to feel more comfortable in your conversation.

Find common interests.

 

Naturally work an invitation to a meal, visit to a museum, crafts fair, ball game, etc., into the conversation. Don't ask her a direct "yes or no" question like, "Would you like to join me for dinner?"

 

Instead, say somthing like, "I'd like you to join me to see that museum or ball game..."

Asking a question like that may make it harder for her to say no than asking her a yes-or-know question...

Originally Posted by FloridaMan

Sure, a guy could have sex with anyone. Am just saying use some common sense here and try to do that when you truly have feelings for the other person.

You won't regret it.

Sex with anyone? Uhhhhh....i'm doubting it.

Guys -- like players -- have sex with women all the time. There's no magic in it.

 

Weren't you the one here saying you planned to have sex with "any girl," just to get over your virginity? Or you agreed with another poster and thought that "having more experience" would be a great idea?

I urged you to wait until you're in a relationship where you have some feelings towards the other.

 

Maybe I'm mixing you up with someone.

[jonny15]

Yes, you can create those feelings. Not like snapping your fingers or suddenly finding you're in love... it all takes work.

 

Lay the groundwork by meeting women and talking with them, even if you don't get to date all of them.

Work to feel more comfortable in your conversation.

Find common interests.

 

Naturally work an invitation to a meal, visit to a museum, crafts fair, ball game, etc., into the conversation. Don't ask her a direct "yes or no" question like, "Would you like to join me for dinner?"

 

Instead, say somthing like, "I'd like you to join me to see that museum or ball game..."

Asking a question like that may make it harder for her to say no than asking her a yes-or-know question...

 

Love is just something that happens.

 

You could fall in love with nearly anyone without doing anything.

 

 

Guys -- like players -- have sex with women all the time. There's no magic in it.

 

Weren't you the one here saying you planned to have sex with "any girl," just to get over your virginity? Or you agreed with another poster and thought that "having more experience" would be a great idea?

I urged you to wait until you're in a relationship where you have some feelings towards the other.

 

Maybe I'm mixing you up with someone.

 

I have no idea if I said anything of the sort.

 

I've posted quite a bit, so I really don't know.

 

But I doubt i've ever mentioned anything about a plan.

[LostnConfused]

Love is just something that happens.

 

You could fall in love with nearly anyone without doing anything.

 

No. Some people just aren't meant to be.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Originally Posted by FloridaMan

 

Weren't you the one here saying you planned to have sex with "any girl," just to get over your virginity? Or you agreed with another poster and thought that "having more experience" would be a great idea?

I urged you to wait until you're in a relationship where you have some feelings towards the other.

 

Maybe I'm mixing you up with someone.

 

I have no idea if I said anything of the sort.

I've posted quite a bit, so I really don't know.

But I doubt i've ever mentioned anything about a plan.

Okay, I think I mixed you up with someone. Sorry.

My advice holds, though.

 

Methinks you can find a relationship, Jonny, but it's gonna take some work.

 

Take a look at this thread.

Help for those who can't get dates in their late 20s, 30s and 40s

Some of the info. and tips provided there might help you get closer to women, where you can likely have your first time.

[secretness87]

I am not a virgin.

 

I lost my virginity when I was 21 to my current boyfriend after dating him for about 3 months and I regretted it. It was not an enjoyable time for me and I cried. If I could change things, I think I would have waited much longer. I rarely like to talk about my first time.. But since I've been sexually active for a while, I do enjoy it now.

[jonny15]

I am not a virgin.

 

I lost my virginity when I was 21 to my current boyfriend after dating him for about 3 months and I regretted it. It was not an enjoyable time for me and I cried. If I could change things, I think I would have waited much longer. I rarely like to talk about my first time.. But since I've been sexually active for a while, I do enjoy it now.

 

From what I hear, it seems like it hurts for most females the first time.

 

So it probably would have no matter when you did it.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Good point, Jonny. Women's first times, from what I read, likely sting with pain.

 

Wanted to respond to this earlier poster in this thread, so this appears to be a better place for such a response:

I married as a virgin - my hymen was still intact anyway. Some Christians would say I was a tarnished virgin, depending on where you draw your sexual lines pre-maritally. Our was intercourse.

 

Me & then boyfriend/now husband dated for 8 long years, met him when I was 15, the only way we could handle this was to still "touch" each other "to release" -what we would call mutual masterbation. I have no regrets, other than feeling ashamed & guilty because of our religious beliefs-- this did us no favors once we got married, I was not able to turn off this "sex is dirty' thoughts in my mind.

That's true but don't get to believing a certain faith is against marital sexual bliss.

 

Search for "snowballing" or "string of pearls" in the sexual practices subforum. You'll learn those have nothing to do with snow or the 1940s hit song I learned when I visited that forum...

 

Our story is very odd in the fact, once we married, we had much trouble with my hymen, it was so stubborn that at 3 months married, he still could not get it IN all the way ! Stressing at this point, went to the OBGYN, was scheduled for a Hymenectomy (surgery) but learned I was pregnant- so that was out ! So it took another 5 full months (8 months married) for my husband to FULLY penetrate me ! As he did not want to FORCE himself in there, since I was 'with child" . Crazy story I know, but utterly true. Virgins likely will not have that blissful Honeymoon they have in thier minds. It will hurt !

The difficulty in the first entrance is a common occurrence. Sheet Music by Leman is a great book that in one of the chapters covers what virgin brides should do before the honeymoon or first time. I'm learning many things I never knew about sexual love through books like that as well.

[jonny15]

That is right about the first time thing.

 

I think the pain is why she was regretting it. Which wouldn't have mattered no matter what, since it would hurt anyways.

[ClarenceRutherford]

That is right about the first time thing.

 

I think the pain is why she was regretting it. Which wouldn't have mattered no matter what, since it would hurt anyways.

That's right. She prob. only regrets the pain.

Didn't imply she shouldn't have had sex.... that's her choice.

 

I do regret my first time, as I've posted, at 17 in HS. I didn't HAVE to have sex with her as it brought a lot of guilt and regret on both of us and we could have created a chlid (had a condom failure during one of the 3X).

 

Thankfully, I decided that wasn't something we needed to do any more and she agreed.

 

Unfortunately, I think I let that experience scare me away from being sexually active with women for most of my 20s.... but that's a diff. story.... one I've posted enough about already...

 

Many other women, some of whom have posted on ENA, regret getting too sexually involved too soon.... so it's not rare to have regrets like that.

[ClarenceRutherford]

deleted. Double post.

[ClarenceRutherford]

I'd definitely prefer a virgin wife...I mean, I might try and be understanding if she wasn't...but I'd rather not lie and say that it wouldn't bother me...that would be bs to say that.

 

All the mental movies, etc. would be there.

However, I did know one girl in particular who I could see myself forgiving if she had lost it to some other guy...but, again it wouldn't be easy...it's not like I wouldn't feel hurt or emascualted to some extent...

Missed this earlier and wanted to respond. Found it whilst looking for something else.

 

Don't worry so much about a girl's past. If you're dating her and she's in love with you, that's all that really matters.

 

Her past is like another world. She's not like that now, esp. if she's given-up a once-promiscuous past and is waiting for the right guy.

There are many "re-born" virgins out there who realize their past mistakes and want to save that part of their lives for the guy they fall in love with.

I know a 40 y.o. woman like that who used to post here, NW.

 

Realistically, if you're moving in your late 20s, it's gonna be harder to find women who haven't had sex, though they are out there. If you find one, that's great. It's good to wait for the right one and I have nothing but respect for men and women who decide to hold out for religious or other reasons.

 

Most women I dated in my mid-late 20s (as far as I knew) were either virgins or never-married non-virgins who only had sex a time or two, with limited experience. They weren't promiscuous but women are human too and want to taste that part of life.

 

My future wife I met at 30 (she was 33), she had only one other partner, a former fiance she had sex with after getting engaged in her early 20s.

She dated after that ended of course but didn't drop her pants for just anyone. I was only her second, which made me feel good and showed me her maturity that she waited (I had limited experience as well 3X in HS and 2 X 19-30).

 

We talked about our past loves but don't go into specifics. What's important is our current relationship. I had no problem with her not being a virgin.

All the mental movies, etc. would be there.

Try not to think that way. I wasn't in my wife's life before she met me and you may have made some other mistakes as well.

Am speaking as a person of faith here who became a believer in college....

 

When I was 17 and had sex (waaaaaaaaaaay too early), trust me, I wasn't thinking of women I might date in my 20s.

 

You don't need to let your imagination go wild. It's not healthy.

 

If she loves you, she will show her love just as well sexually and may likely love and care for you more than the other guy(s)) she had been with. As she's not with any of them, and has chosen to be with you, doesn't that tell you something about her?

 

So, please have some understanding. Try to get past her past and consider how you could live your life with this beautiful woman whose sitting accross the table from you on that dinner date considering taking a chance with you.

How can you make that happen if you let thoughts of her past get to you?

 

In other words, don't let a woman's past discourage you from forming what could be the love relationship of your life.

[MD Geist]

Women are very heartless anyway you look at it. If you aren't performing at top notch she'll just write you off.

[sjjohnson89]

Women are very heartless anyway you look at it. If you aren't performing at top notch she'll just write you off.

 

Thats very cynical. I bet you are basing that on a few experiences you've had, which i can understand, but you cant categorize those experiences as down to women being heartless. A lot of people in general can be heartless, both men and women.

[MD Geist]

Thats very cynical. I bet you are basing that on a few experiences you've had, which i can understand, but you cant categorize those experiences as down to women being heartless. A lot of people in general can be heartless, both men and women.

 

LMAO!!!! This is based on the near 200 experience I've had trying to date women and not including all the others I've witnessed to and seen first hand which is countless. Women are heartless especially because they are emotionally driven. I've seen men be total jerks but you know women are just as bad if not worst. I've lost friends because of how women rejected them.

 

I've been put through a lot. I can't say much else about them other than how heartless they can be.

[sjjohnson89]

LMAO!!!! This is based on the near 200 experience I've had trying to date women and not including all the others I've witnessed to and seen first hand which is countless. Women are heartless especially because they are emotionally driven. I've seen men be total jerks but you know women are just as bad if not worst. I've lost friends because of how women rejected them.

 

I've been put through a lot. I can't say much else about them other than how heartless they can be.

 

If you knew me you would know i know a lot about fears of rejection and intimacy. Ive come to realize that the issues ive had in life are more down to me, me being different, my own issues than other people. AT the end of the day, if you are being rejected by 200 women, if they are all heartless, then youve got to ether look at the type you are going after as the problem, or you have to look inwards, its likely you have issues. Im not attacking you, i have issues so all im doing is pointing out a possibility.

 

I am emotionally driven, im not gay and im male, im not heartless. So saying women are heartless because they are emotional has no weight behind it, because it simply isnt true. Being heartless isnt labeled by gender, a lot of people are heartless.

[MD Geist]

If you knew me you would know i know a lot about fears of rejection and intimacy. Ive come to realize that the issues ive had in life are more down to me, me being different, my own issues than other people. AT the end of the day, if you are being rejected by 200 women, if they are all heartless, then youve got to ether look at the type you are going after as the problem, or you have to look inwards, its likely you have issues. Im not attacking you, i have issues so all im doing is pointing out a possibility.

 

I am emotionally driven, im not gay and im male, im not heartless. So saying women are heartless because they are emotional has no weight behind it, because it simply isnt true. Being heartless isnt labeled by gender, a lot of people are heartless.

 

 

If thats the case then what is? Keep in mind it's beyond the 200 I've mentioned it's practically all women I've come accross.

[90_hour_sleep]

If thats the case then what is? Keep in mind it's beyond the 200 I've mentioned it's practically all women I've come accross.

 

i'd say the odds are horribly stacked against you...and you're absolutely right to give up and wallow in your bitterness. there's no sense flogging a dead horse. you're obviously not meant to be with women...because their heartless nature doesn't appeal to you. i'm not sure what the other options are. do you like men? i guess we could get into transgenders...but that gets a bit foggy in terms of the 'heartless' argument.

 

200 is alot of women. either they're all heartless...or you've convinced yourself that they are. either way...for you, they're heartless. they're not going to change. and it doesn't sound like you have any interest in changing either.

 

well...at least you know what your life has in store for you on the relatinship front. that must be liberating. i'd love to have that kind of insight. might have to look into this way of life that you're advocating.

[MD Geist]

Perhaps I should. I don't know were else or what else I should do.

[sjjohnson89]

If its all women you've come accross, then its your perception. You are perceiving these women to be heartless, some are likely heartless, while others may have made mistakes you label as heartless. I don't like to say stuff like this as its something i don't want to hear myself, but, unless you change the source of these women being heartless, which in some cases is likely your perception, then you wont find a woman.

[Huntress0527]

Women are very heartless anyway you look at it. If you aren't performing at top notch she'll just write you off.

 

And this is why you cannot find a quality woman and with this you aren't attracting the types of women you want despite your experience of '200'. (I highly doubt they're all heartless and that's just your conceived notion)

 

Your attitude is a major turn off. It's not going to get you where you want to be.

[monty77]

im not but i wish i still was

[MD Geist]

And this is why you cannot find a quality woman and with this you aren't attracting the types of women you want despite your experience of '200'. (I highly doubt they're all heartless and that's just your conceived notion)

 

Your attitude is a major turn off. It's not going to get you where you want to be.

 

 

That seems to be the excuse everytime. I'm generalizing, It's my attitude yet these girls are all the same. No matter who they are.

[sjjohnson89]

That seems to be the excuse everytime. I'm generalizing, It's my attitude yet these girls are all the same. No matter who they are.

 

Its not an excuse, at some point you have to see that if every woman in the world is heartless to you then perhaps what you see is just a reflection of yourself. I not saying your heartless, im saying perhaps the problem stands with you over these 200 women. Sure, i bet a large portion of that 200 were heartless, but i also bet that many were not. It would seem you havent met the right woman yet sure, but that doesnt make the previous women heartless. I think a lot of women can be superficially driven, and a lot of men can be be also, each in their own way. Dont confuse superficial with emotionally driven, if someone is emotionally driven they are the opposite likely of heartless.