ClarenceRutherford Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Personally i havent got a problem with being a virgin, what i do have a problem with is that i fear i will never meet the right girl and end up a virgin all my life. Sjohnson, What makes you fear you won't ever meet the right girl? Are you doing anything to change that, like going out more and making a bigger effort to meet women? Start to date more so it becomes more natural. Try to go out on a date at least every weekend. Every girl you date may not likely be good fits, but you'll learn what you want - and what you don't want. Staying "status quo" is a recipe for keeping things the way they currently are- unsatisfactory. Another observation: You're only 22. 22 isn't really old and is a lot younger than many on these boards, including me! Link to comment
iwishiknew Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 I have been doing online dating. the only time I have ever been out on dates and thats with women in which I'm not interested in or not attracted to at all in other words I have comproimised. I tried link removed and I must say I was disappointed after 30 days. I got zero responses from women, I don't think any other paysites will make a difference. . Just like you, I have done online dating for 9 yrs and never met one girl. I did link removed and it was a waste of money. I was on match for about 2 yrs and never got one response back and I was just wasting my time and money so I gave up. I was on other online dating webites and no luck at all. Online dating is nothing but a looks game and a big waste of money. Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Just like you, I have done online dating for 9 yrs and never met one girl. I did link removed and it was a waste of money. I was on match for about 2 yrs and never got one response back and I was just wasting my time and money so I gave up. I was on other online dating webites and no luck at all. Online dating is nothing but a looks game and a big waste of money. If that's the case, why not try what this guy did with online dating: link removed Online dating didn't work for me because sending a photograph will cause me to lose the date but if I can meet them in person, I always got a second date out of the first meeting. Don't be so quick to include the photo... Tell them you send them photos later. Link to comment
iwishiknew Posted March 19, 2011 Author Share Posted March 19, 2011 If that's the case, why not try what this guy did with online dating: link removed Don't be so quick to include the photo... Tell them you send them photos later. My photos are always posted on a online dating site. So I can't tell them I will give you my photo later, when in fact my photos are on my profile. Plus I do not do online dating anymore. Online dating is not for me at all, I gave up on it. Doing it for 9 years and not meeting one girl is enough and I don't have money to waste. Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 My photos are always posted on a online dating site. So I can't tell them I will give you my photo later, when in fact my photos are on my profile. Plus I do not do online dating anymore. Online dating is not for me at all, I gave up on it. Doing it for 9 years and not meeting one girl is enough and I don't have money to waste. Can you remove the pics? Would recommend doing that should you go back to online dating. Reason, people shouldn't focus on looks and that fella found a way to get a date and then often second dates. Trust me, I know that's hard to accomplish. Remember a story I read years ago about a man and woman who communicated via U.S. mail for years. She may have lived in another country. They fell in love through their letters. He kept asking her for a photo, but she declined to send one. She wanted him to fall in love with who she was, not her looks alone. When he met her at the train station, she had arranged a more "plain looking" woman to greet him and act in the letter writing woman's place, to see how he reacted to her. Turns out, the woman in the letter was very attractive, and seeing how the guy didn't express disappointment, made it all the better and more worthwhile. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 what does this accomplish? the man came all this way - only to find out he was tricked at the train station?? that's not cool - he travels all that way only to be set up? let me guess, he fell in love with the plain looking girl in the end?? when i did online dating, i disregarded emails from men who did not have photos up. i figured that they were married or were not who they said they were. Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 what does this accomplish? the man came all this way - only to find out he was tricked at the train station?? that's not cool - he travels all that way only to be set up? let me guess, he fell in love with the plain looking girl in the end??. I think the point was love should be based on things other than looks. The guy in the story asked her to send her a photo, but she always refused. Turned out, she did look good. Yes, the guy met her as the woman she had "meet" him pointed him to her.... I think she wanted to see how he'd react if the woman he had been writing wasn't stunning... Read the story years ago in a Guideposts magazine or something while visiting my grandpa in a nursing home. May have gotten some of the facts wrong. Link to comment
iwishiknew Posted March 27, 2011 Author Share Posted March 27, 2011 what does this accomplish? the man came all this way - only to find out he was tricked at the train station?? that's not cool - he travels all that way only to be set up? let me guess, he fell in love with the plain looking girl in the end?? when i did online dating, i disregarded emails from men who did not have photos up. i figured that they were married or were not who they said they were. Yes, I agree not having photos on your file, it will most likely be skipped and ignored. Link to comment
Tempest Desh Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Still a virgin at 24 (by choice...though I do go through periods of questioning my decision, even though I ultimately know it's the right one for me). Funny thing is, I've been the guy who had women lining up (well not literally, but ya know) at my door, my first time at a university...and I turned them down...much to the annoyance of other guys (who couldn't get any...and would've killed to have been me, lol). Now, I seem to be going through a drought, as far as positive attention from the opposite sex is concerned...which makes me regret, to an extent my past decisions...but, not enough to give up waiting for the right one. I'm aiming to make it to marriage...but, we'll see. I hope I succeed, 'cause it would really such to have made it this far, only to fail. Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Still a virgin at 24 (by choice...though I do go through periods of questioning my decision, even though I ultimately know it's the right one for me). Funny thing is, I've been the guy who had women lining up (well not literally, but ya know) at my door, my first time at a university...and I turned them down...much to the annoyance of other guys (who couldn't get any...and would've killed to have been me, lol). Now, I seem to be going through a drought, as far as positive attention from the opposite sex is concerned...which makes me regret, to an extent my past decisions...but, not enough to give up waiting for the right one. I'm aiming to make it to marriage...but, we'll see. I hope I succeed, 'cause it would really such to have made it this far, only to fail. I think it's great that you are doing it by choice. Do you require your future girl to be a virgin too? Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 I think it's great that you are doing it by choice. Do you require your future girl to be a virgin too? Where did he imply that standard? Personally, I think it's a good thing to be one, but I think it may be unrealistic to expect that by your mid-20s. Link to comment
iwishiknew Posted April 3, 2011 Author Share Posted April 3, 2011 I think it's great that you are doing it by choice. Do you require your future girl to be a virgin too? For me I would like my future gf to be a virgin, if not that is ok. I think it is rare finding girls in their 20's or 30's who are still a virgin. Link to comment
sjjohnson89 Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 For me I would like my future gf to be a virgin, if not that is ok. I think it is rare finding girls in their 20's or 30's who are still a virgin. I would like a future girlfriend to be a virgin in one sense, but then it really doesnt matter at all. How much sexual experience she has doesnt bother me. Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 I would like a future girlfriend to be a virgin in one sense, but then it really doesnt matter at all. How much sexual experience she has doesnt bother me. That's a healthy attitude. If you find a virgin, that's great. And I do respect those who hold out for religious or other reasons. I kind of was hopin' I'd find one as well, but I was realistic (and understanding) to know I shouldn't expect to find one ---- esp. as you get into your late 20s. Though I dated a 30 y.o. virgin when I was 26 (my first real adult relationship), I wouldn't get too hung-up on finding a virgin in your mid-late 20s and 30s.. Funny this "politically liberal" and "tolerant" woman was very judgemental and was clearly disappointed that I wasn't inexperienced like her.... No one had as much as touched her breast outside her clothes (yes, I did that to her and was as far as any guy - me included - had gotten with her). I should have just walked out of the room when Tammy condemnded me for telling her the truth (3X with a HS GF and 2 encounters through all my 20s)...... Another woman I dated for 3-4 months at 29 was a virgin and the long-term relationship I had before her at 27-28, this unmarried 31 y.o. Christian woman wasn't a virgin but only had ML a couple of times with two other guys she dated before me in her 20s. We did some light sex-play (everything....but). The woman I found when I was 30 that I married (she was 33 when we met), she wasn't a virgin but had sex only with a former fiance after engagement at 20..... (her fiance cheated on her, thus ending the engagement).... so I didn't marry a woman who was promiscuous (I didn't want someone who had lots of experience). We didn't hold back, though..... and both of us made up for some lost time in life.... if you get my drift.... So I think you need to expect any women at a later age is going to have some - hopefully limited - experience. It's perfectly normal for women to want to experience life. Women, we know, seem to get more opportunities and are human as well.... Just don't let any preconceptions you may have about women and virginity keep you from the beautiful and loving being that you could fall in love with.... Link to comment
dedem Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 I'm a virgin, which is surprising given my age, upbringing and gender. Came close, but no cigar since he ended it before it got serious. As long as I loose it before I'm 40, I'm not too worried. I'd rather it'd be with a decent guy who loves me rather than a guy who only wants my body. Though I'm fairly certain that at 30 at least one of my friends is going to start bringing male hookers to my door. Fun. Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 I'm a virgin, which is surprising given my age, upbringing and gender. Came close, but no cigar since he ended it before it got serious. As long as I loose it before I'm 40, I'm not too worried. I'd rather it'd be with a decent guy who loves me rather than a guy who only wants my body. Though I'm fairly certain that at 30 at least one of my friends is going to start bringing male hookers to my door. Fun. I know you were being sarcastic, but there are many women your age that are virgins. I PM a 20 y.o. female virgin on this board. Now, she asks me a lot of questions about sex, but she's determined to remain a virgin until at least engagement.... She may be a late bloomer, of course, but I know a 27 y.o. virgin woman on another board as well, so don't think you're some kind of oddity at 19..... Link to comment
twentiesgirl86 Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 I am and I am 24. I am not too happy about it either. I am worried that men will be turned off by this. It's not that I go around announcing it to people, but it might come up if a guy wants to know about past relationships. If he knows that I really haven't had one, then he is going to know I am a virgin and that might bother him. I wonder this because I went on yahoo answers, and read a question that is similar to my situation. A lot of the guys replied that they would wonder what was wrong with a girl who is a virgin in their twenties, or that she might be clingy or something. Yet I am really not willing to just give it away to some stranger on a one night stand like some of my friends have suggested. I want to be in a relationship when I lose it, but I'm worried I won't get in a relationship because of it. Especially since the man I like is 35. I am thinking a 35 year old isn't going to be impressed with taking away someones virginity. Link to comment
sjjohnson89 Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 Im not 35 so i cant speak as if i am. Buy im 22 and a virgin, and it doesnt really bother me if a future girlfriend is a virgin or not. In some ways i would like her to be a virgin. But it really doesnt matter. Anybody who judged based on how much sexual experience someone has is not worth your time. Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 I am and I am 24. I am not too happy about it either. I am worried that men will be turned off by this. It's not that I go around announcing it to people, but it might come up if a guy wants to know about past relationships. If he knows that I really haven't had one, then he is going to know I am a virgin and that might bother him. Yet I am really not willing to just give it away to some stranger on a one night stand like some of my friends have suggested. I want to be in a relationship when I lose it, but I'm worried I won't get in a relationship because of it. Especially since the man I like is 35. I am thinking a 35 year old isn't going to be impressed with taking away someones virginity. I answered your other posting in the other thread on Why Ugly Women Can't Get Men... Will try not to say more than I've said in this thread already, but you should know 24 isn't that old... There are many guys/gals your age that aren't experienced. You're not missing out on anything. I wonder this because I went on yahoo answers, and read a question that is similar to my situation. A lot of the guys replied that they would wonder what was wrong with a girl who is a virgin in their twenties, or that she might be clingy or something. Don't consider that posting a representative sampling. Most guys I know --- and a lot of the postings I see on ENA and Love Shack -- wouldn't have any problem with a woman being a virgin. Some of those guys are virgins themselves (of course, not as many at 35). When I was in my 20s, I would have liked to have gotten engaged to a virgin but was realistic to know most women wouldn't be virgins. What I got was a woman who wasn't a virgin but had very limited experience (a prev. fiance 10 yrs. before we met). For the record, in case you haven't seen my other posts, I wasn't a virgin (lost mine in HS before I became a Christian in college) but had very limited experience. 2 separate encounters through all my 20s... Did some "everything...but" in my late 20s.... So I lived as a semi-virgin in my 20s.... Because of the loneliness and thinking I wouldn't ever meet anyone to spend my life with, my late 20s (27-30) were a time in my life I'd just as soon forget.... I really thought God had forgotten about me. But.... just 3 mos. after I turned 30, I met my future wife.... Though it's directed at guys, this thread may help give you some ideas as I think the advice can help women as well. Help for those who can't get dates in their late 20s, 30s and 40s Posting this only to show you things can change. Within 2-5 years, you could find yourself -in a long-term, serious relationship -engaged -married Ashley, I may not have believed had someone told me that at 26-27 .. but ..... we don't know what the future will bring and who you might meet tomorrow... I met my future wife on a blind date ... Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted April 8, 2011 Share Posted April 8, 2011 Yes, I agree not having photos on your file, it will most likely be skipped and ignored. Can you then at least use only your best photo? Make sure your hair is trimmed well, maybe have you look into the camera at an angle with your head turned. I see pics of people on facebook and in their avitars here, they look more "alluring" or "interesting" when they're not just staring into the camera, or when it's not just a "profile" or "head" shot. Get someone who knows how to take good pics. take photos of you, instead of shooting one yourself with a timer... Have that person take numerous photos. Pick out the best one that shows you in the best light. Link to comment
Tempest Desh Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 I'd definitely prefer a virgin wife...I mean, I might try and be understanding if she wasn't...but I'd rather not lie and say that it wouldn't bother me...that would be bs to say that. All the mental movies, etc. would be there. However, I did know one girl in particular who I could see myself forgiving if she had lost it to some other guy...but, again it wouldn't be easy...it's not like I wouldn't feel hurt or emascualted to some extent... Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 I'd definitely prefer a virgin wife...I mean, I might try and be understanding if she wasn't...but I'd rather not lie and say that it wouldn't bother me...that would be bs to say that. All the mental movies, etc. would be there. However, I did know one girl in particular who I could see myself forgiving if she had lost it to some other guy...but, again it wouldn't be easy...it's not like I wouldn't feel hurt or emascualted to some extent... How old are you, Tempest, if we can ask? Are we to assume you're a virgin as well? No problem if you are. If you've read my posts, you'll see how I would never make fun of someone, male or female, for not having any "experience." Link to comment
ragnarok5 Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 I am. I'm 21 now might as well just wait till everyone else matures... Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 I am. I'm 21 now might as well just wait till everyone else matures... Sounds like you think you're getting "too old." I don't know what's with these posters in their early-mid 20s who think time is running out on them. Yes, it may not look great, but your life is special and the experiences you will bring to the one you eventually meet will be that much better. Have to admit, I felt very lonely at 24-25 but that wasn't due to my sexual experience (I had some, but very little). It was me wanting companionship. There's no "set" timeline for someone to lose their virginity. Many men value women with little or no experience. Not that people are automobiles, but would you rather buy a high-mileage used car or one that only has a few miles on it? This isn't saying that someone who's racked up a lot of miles is undesireable or worthless, but someone who may not have a lot of experience may not be attracted to someone who's like in a diff. league. Think of a brand new camera vs. a used one on ebay. Plus, it looks well of someone who hasn't rushed into a sexual relationship, and may show that person has a little more maturity. Remember, when it comes time in a relationship when a couple has that "talk" about each's sexual experience, it's not the one who has had very little or no sexual experience that has to explain him or herself.... Link to comment
twentiesgirl86 Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 Plus, it looks well of someone who hasn't rushed into a sexual relationship, and may show that person has a little more maturity. Remember, when it comes time in a relationship when a couple has that "talk" about each's sexual experience, it's not the one who has had very little or no sexual experience that has to explain him or herself....That's true in a way, but people might also wonder why a person doesn't have a lot of experience either when they are at a certain age. Not saying they would prefer someone who has had a million one night stands or relationships or something. But say there are two people in their 30's, one who is a virgin and never had a relationship and one who has had a few long-term relationships, the one who has a bit more experience is going to wonder why their SO is still a virgin, or hasn't been in a relationship. I'm not saying they are going to look down on them, or anything, but that question is going to be in their mind. They are going to ask about, and that inexperienced person will have to explain their situation. Whether it be that they were waiting for a special someone, or for marriage, or because they just couldn't get someone. If the person is lucky, their SO will be understanding. I know still debate about if I should do a one nighter, and no amount of advice that I might regret is will help. It just goes through one ear and out the other. It's something I have to learn for myself, but who knows I might get lucky and find someone who is understanding. If not, one night I might just get it over with. And I also know that a guy isn't going to respect me for having a one night stand. I have my little reasons for wanting to lose, one being I don't want to be a 25 year old virgin, and I also don't want to be inexperienced for a future boyfriend. However, my main reason for wanting it is just because I can't get it off my mind, I think I think about sex more than they say men do. Old Spice is my favourite cologne, last night there was a guy at the bar that was wearing it and I wanted to take him right there. I had very naughty thoughts about him, lol. I was ready to grab him and take him home with me. One of these nights I'm just going to do it. Everytime I see a hot guy I think about us having sex with them. I wanted my friend last night too, which would have been because we are good friends. Link to comment
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