Virgin Poll...Who's still a virgin?

[ClarenceRutherford]

This isn't aimed at you.

 

You did meet us halfway.

Good not to be a target. I'm kind of emotionally fragile now anyway (getting better though), so didn't need any other threats (read the threads I started).

[Cognitive_Canine]

Ok, you win. The pressure of sex is equal, but different. Happy now Cognitive_Canine, ill say it again you win.

 

Is it so hard to recognize the pressures of the opposite sex? I have a lot of guy friends (almost exclusively) and can easily see it from the man's point of view and often empathize with a man before I would a woman (I don't have a lot of feminine interests).

[sjjohnson89]

Is it so hard to recognize the pressures of the opposite sex? I have a lot of guy friends (almost exclusively) and can easily see it from the man's point of view and often empathize with a man before I would a woman (I don't have a lot of feminine interests).

 

I know the pressures of sex on woman, i think when we include sex and everything related to it the pressure is split 50-50. Its just the actual 'act' that i think is 60-40 pressure on men, im thinking here of longevity in more ways than one, fitness, strength etc. But in answer to your question yes sex is equal in pressure on both sexes overall. Im not sexist in any way, believe me.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I know the pressures of sex on woman, i think when we include sex and everything related to it the pressure is split 50-50. Its just the actual 'act' that i think is 60-40 pressure on men, im thinking here of longevity in more ways than one, fitness, strength etc. But in answer to your question yes sex is equal in pressure on both sexes overall. Im not sexist in any way, believe me.

 

Everyone is sexist. I'm sexist. People are sexist towards men and women, sometimes at the same time, against their own sex.

 

If anything, things being 50/50 should make you feel better. Whatever doubts or fears you have approaching a woman, having sex with one, she's having the same amount of insecurity.

 

I think that's one of the great turning points in relationships, finding out your more alike than different.

[MD Geist]

If you are saying "no, not really", regarding a woman having to please her partner, you are dead wrong. Since you have not had sex, and you're not a woman, I'm not sure where you are getting this information that the woman doesn't do anything to please the man. I have had many guy friends describe a woman being bad in bed. It takes two, and both are expected to bring something to the situation.

 

Women don't have to do much to please a guy. They don't need to worry about taking a man through foreplay and hitting all of his sentive spots like a man does with a woman since its practically all involentary on his side. In fact a guy may just have an orgasm in the process of doing just that! Women have to do almost nothing to please a guy compared with a man has to do to meet her needs.

 

I'm educated on the topic of sex btw which is why I have my insecurities about being an older male virgin against a non female virgin. They do have expectations and needs that must be met.

 

How exactly are you predicting that an older male virgin's first sex will be a disaster? Now you can predict the future of several million unknown people? It's biologically driven, and it's not that hard to figure out. If you are with someone that you're close to, it just comes naturally. We all had a first time. I've been with guys who've had lots of experience and guys who haven't had much- and it didn't have much bearing on how good the sex was.

 

link removed

 

Its already statistically proven.

 

Regarding stigmas- big deal. Do you know how many stereotypes exist in any culture? According to stigmas and stereotypes, I'm an old maid at 39 because I'm not married. Do I care? Not really! Partially because I have enough self-confidence to not care, and partially because mainstream social norms are not everyone's norms, and I prefer to be outside of the mainstream in general. Don't you ever get tired of just living and breathing all these cliche ideas?

 

You don't have to worry about the same problems as I do, Your a woman who isn't a virgin, of course you have self confidence. Even if you don't have to lead the way like the man is "Expected" to do regardless if its his first time or 1000. I have yet to hear from a woman who likes leading the way in bed and being in full control of her partner and is the dominant one. I have also yet to hear a successful older male virgin actually successfully enter a relationship from a woman's perspective and be happy. So even if we are not living in a cliche we are automatically put there by default upon discovery.

 

What do you think most girls will think of an older virgin? it's not thing to be 18 or 21 and still be a virgin but what about 25 and beyond? It's not going to be something to be taken causally you know. You as a woman are going to wonder why is he still a virgin? Naturally his confidence will not be a high as you want it to be especially if are not a virgin or at least inexperienced yourself. And the who can forget about the expectation that is already programed in your head as a woman that he must take the lead role for everything in life including sex? These are things women especially non virgin's will not understand.

 

Most women might say they wouldn't mind being a guy's first but in reality they do but not in a Long Term relationship with that person.

[MD Geist]

Whatever doubts or fears you have approaching a woman, having sex with one, she's having the same amount of insecurity.

 

 

I doubt that. Most girl's don't have virginity issues later on in life like men do. If they have insecurities it won't be as difficult to deal with except maybe commitment issues or she's been cheated on in the past.

 

Men on the other hand would to fake it till they make it.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I doubt that. Most girl's don't have virginity issues later on in life like men do. If they have insecurities it won't be as difficult to deal with except maybe commitment issues or she's been cheated on in the past.

 

Men on the other hand would to fake it till they make it.

 

If you can't even begin to empathize with a woman, don't expect one to empathize with you

[MD Geist]

If you can't even begin to empathize with a woman, don't expect one to empathize with you

 

Virginity is different with women than men.

[ClarenceRutherford]

I lost my virginity at 8, but I'm a guy. Unfortunately I only had 1 opportunity to deflower a girl and I blew it.

hrtlsngl7,

You mean 18, right> Not 8? Assuming a typo there.

 

I think most guys only get one opportunity to "devirginize" a woman.

And yes, as someone asked in another ENA thread, you never forget who you lose your virginity to.

It was a time in my life like a devastating breakup years later that I'd just as soon forget....

[ClarenceRutherford]

So the women blame the men if the sex is bad? I don't know about that, but I'm imagining every case is different. I would think that a mature couple that was in love would try to work out any sexual differences.

Have you ever been married, Bullet?

I've seen disappointment in my wife when I wasn't that great (or much too short, so to speak).

'It's okay" she says after I apologized, but I kinow it wasn't okay.

[The_Seeker]

Can we get this straight?

 

Who cares what people think?!

 

If you are a virgin, great.

 

If you are not, that's okay.

 

If you are a virgin, that's okay.

 

If you are not, that's great.

 

If the person you're dating is not so "impress" that you didn't have sexual experience, tell them "So I don't have sex experience. Care to teach me, expert?" Let them show you. Yea, put the money where their mouth is to show you. ONLY if you are ready [This is for girls who FEEL pressure to have sex in the relationship and want to save it for marriage due to INDIVIDUAL CHOICE.] They shouldn't put you down like that especially if you are in a relationship with them. Do you see the person's true character? Is this how they are going to be in a long run? Is this how they're going to act in almost every situation? You don't need that type of person who puts you down like that just because you're not "experience." I swear if a guy says "You have no sexual experience, you will be horrible for the guy. Ha ha ha!" Then I'll give him a mean look [ I have intense eyes that make people feel very uncomfortable] "Then you better make sure you don't date me, form a relationship with me, or have sex with me. Piece of cake. Geesh, not that difficult. And you tell me you are educated to solve a problem?" Yeah I diss back on jerks.

 

If someone believes that I'm not capable of being sexual due to no experience at all, then that person can critique all they want. I could care less because I KNOW what I'm capable of. By knowing, you know what you want and need. This in fact, you don't care if you don't know any "awesome" moves for your partner. You are satisfying yourself. If the person doesn't feel like they're satisfy they better speak up. If they don't, let them forever hold their peace. Amen, to that brother!

 

If the person wants to be a virgin until they're married, show them some respect. Seriously. Don't pressure them.

 

If you have someone is putting you down about sex, then let them DEAL with the issue. Not you. You shouldn't let people influence you especially society. If you want sex go for it. If you don't, then don't.

 

Gosh, this is like middle school on the do's and don't's.

 

For those guys who watch Sex and the City how women are, some of them are right and SOME OF THEM are very wrong. Trust me on this, GUYS.

 

For people who are lazy to read what I wrote. Here is the SUMMARY:

 

- Don't rationalize behavior.

- Who cares what people say and media say?

- You shouldn't be ASHAME of it.

- Don't be a FOOL to the media and society.

- Be with someone who WANTS you to become better. Not LAUGH/DISS/CRITIZES/LOOK DOWN on you for having NO EXPERIENCE whether in sex or anything else. If they LOVE you like they SUPPOSEDLY CLAIM, then they should help you.

 

K, I'm done venting and being pissy.

[ClarenceRutherford]

That sounds like a good summary, Seeker.

I know you're a virgin but you've inserted some needed rationality here.

I can't and don't think anyone can find anything to argue about with your posting, and think both sides can agree with your thoughts.

[bulletproof]

Have you ever been married, Bullet?

I've seen disappointment in my wife when I wasn't that great (or much too short, so to speak).

'It's okay" she says after I apologized, but I kinow it wasn't okay.

 

Nope. But I've been in enough long-term relationships to know that I would never place all the blame on the guy if *we* (as in, the two of us, together) had sex that was less than perfect at that moment.

[bulletproof]

Women don't have to do much to please a guy. They don't need to worry about taking a man through foreplay and hitting all of his sentive spots like a man does with a woman since its practically all involentary on his side. In fact a guy may just have an orgasm in the process of doing just that! Women have to do almost nothing to please a guy compared with a man has to do to meet her needs.

 

You are incorrect, and I will say that it's only due to inexperience that you think this way. I realize you've read a lot about sex, but that really doesn't mean anything. Women do plenty. Oh, and btw, your link leads to an unavailable article.

 

Honestly, if you feel that women are this inconsequential then I think you will find it that much more difficult to find someone to be intimate with. Most people, men and women, would like to think that they are contributing somewhat equally to sex and/or a relationship.

[varon]

You are incorrect, and I will say that it's only due to inexperience that you think this way. I realize you've read a lot about sex, but that really doesn't mean anything. Women do plenty.

 

Honestly, if you feel that women are this inconsequential then I think you will find it that much more difficult to find someone to be intimate with. Most people, men and women, would like to think that they are contributing somewhat equally to sex and/or a relationship.

 

Some women are difficult to bring to orgasm and you have to work at it quite a while and know what they want in order to succeed, and even then it might not happen for her. Guys will orgasm if she just gets the pumping or sucking rhythm right or lets us screw her for 5 minutes or so. An experienced woman who cares and knows what a guy likes will make it much more satisfying for the guy, but again, we'll get off either way.

 

If the person you're dating is not so "impress" that you didn't have sexual experience, tell them "So I don't have sex experience. Care to teach me, expert?" Let them show you. Yea, put the money where their mouth is to show you.

 

I'm sure that sarcastic attitude will get you laid just as fast as you can pull down your zipper.

 

And no, I'm not a virgin, a couple of dozen times removed. (meaning over 20 different women)

[MD Geist]

Some women are difficult to bring to orgasm and you have to work at it quite a while and know what they want in order to succeed, and even then it might not happen for her. Guys will orgasm if she just gets the pumping or sucking rhythm right or lets us screw her for 5 minutes or so. An experienced woman who cares and knows what a guy likes will make it much more satisfying for the guy, but again, we'll get off either way

 

There's also men out there who it doesn't matter what you do with them they won't cum for a very long time just like some girls. Others are minutemen. I think the longer a man takes to finally have sex either we will be one or the other meaning he won't last very long or he will last forever. If he's one of the types of guys that suffers from "Delayed Ejaculation" it still benefits her in some way. I believe on average it takes a woman over 30minutes to reach orgasm not including foreplay. If a guy can last over an hour it might be beneficial to her in someway. Now premature ejacualtion is a problem for most girls.

 

You are incorrect, and I will say that it's only due to inexperience that you think this way. I realize you've read a lot about sex, but that really doesn't mean anything. Women do plenty. Oh, and btw, your link leads to an unavailable article.

 

It has physical effects to. You don't hear about girls having orgasms in under a minute? If she did its probably a blessing for her.

 

Honestly, if you feel that women are this inconsequential then I think you will find it that much more difficult to find someone to be intimate with. Most people, men and women, would like to think that they are contributing somewhat equally to sex and/or a relationship.

 

 

I have yet to hear from a woman's perspective that she got with a virgin and their sex life is amazing years down the line. ](*,) You often hear women saying a virgin after a certain age is a huge redflag to them.

[The_Seeker]

That sounds like a good summary, Seeker.

I know you're a virgin but you've inserted some needed rationality here.

I can't and don't think anyone can find anything to argue about with your posting, and think both sides can agree with your thoughts.

 

Ha ha! Thanks, I tried.

 

LOL Unfortunately someone has disagreed with me. His name is varon.

 

You'll be surprised how many people will disagree with my posting and thoughts. Let the count begin!

[ClarenceRutherford]

There's also men out there who it doesn't matter what you do with them they won't cum for a very long time just like some girls. Others are minutemen. I think the longer a man takes to finally have sex either we will be one or the other meaning he won't last very long or he will last forever.

For a virgin, you seem to know a lot about sex, Geist.

You've obv. been doing some reading.

 

Not a virgin myself (though I lived like a semi-virgin in my 20s), and got sexually involved with my future wife in my 30s, I only recently discovered how little I really know about pleasing a woman.

As I said in one of the threads I started, I never knew what a labia was until this fall, and had no idea that the goal is to please the woman through long periods of foreplay.

 

For most of my marriage, I had been a 5 min. man (not every time though), but that's changing now, thankfully.

She has never had an O with anyone.

I am only her second partner ^ only after getting engaged to a fiance who cheated on her and dumped her), and am gonna try to change that as well.

[The_Seeker]

 

 

I'm sure that sarcastic attitude will get you laid just as fast as you can pull down your zipper.

 

And no, I'm not a virgin, a couple of dozen times removed. (meaning over 20 different women)

 

LOL Varon, maybe I might not get "laid" by you, but for other men I might. Ha ha!

 

I don't care if you're a virgin or not a virgin. It's your individual choice like I said in my post.

 

Good for you that you were able to get a couple of dozen times removed, or that you had experience with 20 different women. LOL I'm not sure where that was coming from and how it is supporting against my statement that I made in the post, but it sounds like you're bragging. I applaud you for able to have slept over 20 different women.

 

Why don't you say you slept with this # of women instead of a couple of dozen? A little bit ironic, don't you think?

[The_Seeker]

I have yet to hear from a woman's perspective that she got with a virgin and their sex life is amazing years down the line. ](*,) You often hear women saying a virgin after a certain age is a huge redflag to them.

 

 

;] Hopefully my guy is a virgin and that I have amazing years down the line. LOL and I'll let you know what I think.

 

I don't think it's a huge redflag for me.

[varon]

Good for you that you were able to get a couple of dozen times removed, or that you had experience with 20 different women. LOL I'm not sure where that was coming from and how it is supporting against my statement that I made in the post, but it sounds like you're bragging. I applaud you for able to have slept over 20 different women.

 

Why don't you say you slept with this # of women instead of a couple of dozen? A little bit ironic, don't you think?

 

Ok, I slept with this # of women. Is that better?

 

I wasn't bragging so much as supporting my position by pointing out that I have experience behind my words and trying to stay within the confines of the original topic which was a question about virginity.

[ClarenceRutherford]

LOL Varon, maybe I might not get "laid" by you, but for other men I might. Ha ha!

 

I don't care if you're a virgin or not a virgin. It's your individual choice like I said in my post.

 

Good for you that you were able to get a couple of dozen times removed, or that you had experience with 20 different women. LOL I'm not sure where that was coming from and how it is supporting against my statement that I made in the post, but it sounds like you're bragging. I applaud you for able to have slept over 20 different women.

Wouldn't think having high numbers of sex partners would be a thing one would want to brag about (I know you're not saying this, Seeker). Shows a lack of maturity and self control, IMHO.

 

After all, this isn't some basketball game where the goal is to rack up as many "scores" on the scoreboard.

Instead, it should be like golf, where the lower numbers win.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Originally Posted by MD Geist

I have yet to hear from a woman's perspective that she got with a virgin and their sex life is amazing years down the line. ](*,) You often hear women saying a virgin after a certain age is a huge redflag to them.

Geist,

I woldn't necessarily think that is the case. Sounds like a generalization.

All women aren't alike and many wouldn't want to talk about their sex lives.

Those that post here may be an exception, so don't go to thinking what you read online, in a women's mag. or see in TV is reflective of society.

 

If the woman is a virgin herself and marries a virgin, who's she gonna compare him to?

[varon]

Wouldn't think having high numbers of sex partners would be a thing one would want to brag about (I know you're not saying this, Seeker). Shows a lack of maturity and self control, IMHO.

 

Well I don't know about maturity but I agree that high numbers of sex partners aren't anything to be 'proud of' however when the topic is about virgins and it's about getting laid and how to do it, those with experience are in a much better place to offer advice than those who have no clue because they've never been there.

 

Also the question becomes "what's a large number of sex partners?"

 

I've been sexually active for over 30 years, so that number isn't all that high, at least not as I see it. Although I was in one relationship for 18 of those 30 years, and was with no one else during that time.

 

It's also true that most of those have been in committed relationships of at least 2 months duration.

 

I think that matters.

[The_Seeker]

Ok, I slept with this # of women. Is that better?

 

I wasn't bragging so much as supporting my position by pointing out that I have experience behind my words and trying to stay within the confines of the original topic which was a question about virginity.

 

Absolutely. Thank you! It shows you're not bragging.

 

LOL You call it whatever you want. I'll call it whatever I want. There. We can play nice to each other.

 

Ha ha, sure.