"Never had a girlfriend" men(why)

[ClarenceRutherford]

Fit,

My advice is worth what it costs.

 

It's just that I've been in your shoes and don't want to see you make the same mistakes. But maybe you need to make those mistakes to experience it for yourself.

 

And yes, I have confessed I wasn't perfect and didn't always hold to the "no sex before marriage" deal, so I'm not throwing stones at anyone else here.

 

Just sayin' you don't need to load yourself up with unecessary regrets and trolling for women in bars isn't gonna be the best thing for you, esp. if you're not that kind of person.

You posted in other threads that you're a Christian. I understand how the sex drive is important but would think moderation may be a consideration.

 

Recall hearing about a minister's daughter years ago going to Florida on spring break. This virgin met some guy she hardly knew, got intoxicated and he took advantage of her sexually. She contracted AIDS. Yes, her family took her back and she was restored, but look at all she had to go through for that all too brief period of pleasure. Imagine the fist sex wasn't that good anyway, as it's usually uncomfortable, esp. for the women. So what a price to pay for something not really that great, huh?

 

24 isn't that old really and in 1-5 years, you could find yourself

-in a serious long-term monogomous relationship,

-engaged, OR

-married.

 

Think of it this way: you wasting time chasin' the wrong kind of women in the wrong places will only delay your chances for finding your real love, the one you can put your heart and soul into in LM, not some meaningless encounter you will surely regret later. I'd say the same thing for women. Focus on that, Fit, finding a good woman you could see spending your life with.

 

You're not gonna die not having sex. Work on the dating and making out. Companionship is what I think you really want. Yes, I was a late bloomer too.

 

It's no loss to me what you do or don't do. I'm not your parent or best friend.

Like I said to MD Geist, who's irrationally scared to death women will make fun of him bec. he's a virgin, it's your life.

 

My advice has always been: with regrets, it's best to pack light.

[fitforlife]

The truth is I am slowly becoming someone I have never imagined or planned being. I absolutely live for Saturday nights (sometimes Friday depending how I feel after my workouts). Nothing else is more fun than going out to the bars/clubs, dancing, getting drunk, hooking up with random girls, and now making out with random girls. Eventually, random sex will be added to this list, even if it's just ONE time. I absolutely love it, and what's best is I'm not "tied down" in a relationship that would hold me back from doing any of the above. I really can't believe I am speaking like this, but it's who I am (or at least where I am headed).

 

So I am supposed to go on a date with this girl I have been seeing in about a week and a half that I have mentioned. By the way, we have gone out about five times. The more we go out the more I like her but the less interested I become. Weird? We are supposed to be going to dinner, a movie, and maybe something afterwards on a Saturday night. Well all I know is right now I am wanting to go out to downtown and do some bar hopping instead with my friends. She is not 21 yet so she can't go. I don't know what I am going to do but I am going to cancel and go out to the clubs with my friends instead. How can I tell her this though? Is there a polite way to break it off? I feel very low for doing this but what can I say? I don't want to lie unless it's a last resort. I suppose I should just be straight up and say "Can we plan for another time", make up some excuse, and end up never rescheduling. I have not sent her a text message or any communication for almost a week now, and I am going to keep it that way. Maybe by next week she will forget about our scheduled date and I'll be off the hook. Either way I am keeping quiet and not saying a word to her.

 

Don't get me wrong I do feel bad, worst thing is she sent me a text message saying she could not wait to see me and hang out again. So the girl obviously likes me and enjoys my company. I feel very shallow and my heart kind of sinks when I read her text message stating that (mainly because what I am about to do is a very * * * * * * * move), but what can I do. I would much rather go out on the dance floor, drink, and party with my friends than to go see a boring film and dinner at applebees.

[Philos]

Don't get me wrong I do feel bad, worst thing is she sent me a text message saying she could not wait to see me and hang out again. So the girl obviously likes me and enjoys my company. I feel very shallow and my heart kind of sinks when I read her text message stating that (mainly because what I am about to do is a very * * * * * * * move), but what can I do. I would much rather go out on the dance floor, drink, and party with my friends than to go see a boring film and dinner at applebees.

 

You're missing the point of FloridaMan's post. I'm going to try to hammer it home to you:

 

Life is going to be consistent of "seeing a boring film and dinner at applebees". What are you going to do in 5 years? 10 years? You can't go around partying, dancing, and drinking forever. You should be grateful you have a nice girl interested in you that you can take out to applebees or to go see a movie with. Theres a billion people in the world that have no clean drinking water or have to walk 3 hours each way to get some, and here you are with the chance to live a life of art, fine dining, and probably loads of sex with this girl, and you're willing to pass on it for the bar scene. Let me tell you the most depressing thing about real life mistakes and regret - you don't know when you're making them, and you almost never get to make things right - you just have to live with them. The second most depressing thing might be watching other people make them.

[ClarenceRutherford]

I too underwent a lot of changes and did more "daring" things by asking women out on "cold calls" - women I'd meet between classes in grad school, during my late 20s, plus some other things I'm not necessarily proud of.

 

If I was 24 and not having a lot of luck with women, as I flopped when I was your age, I know I'd stick with the (seemingly) sure thing (for the time being) rather than go to the bars and seek out the less quality women, IMHO.

 

But that was just me. I never was into the bar scene. If you can believe it, I've never been drunk (and don't want to get intoxicated). And I'm near 50! (I do drink wine).

 

If you're not into this woman, you don't have to date her.

She looks attractive in the photo link you sent me. She may be a lot like you, in terms of little dating experience.

 

You had posted how you are a 24 y.o. virgin who had never been kissed (until that woman in the bar).

 

Someone reading your posts would think you - like many of the other never-been-kissed guys in their 20s and 30s who post in these threads - would prefer a real relationsihp, something you won't likely gain from the kind of women who drink heavily and are more open to dropping their pants for other guys....

I wasn't interested in promiscuous women, and preferred those with little experience.... like me.

 

Just don't lie to her and tell her you'll reschedule when in reality you have no intention of calling her again. That's just mean.

 

If you're not interested in seeing her anymore, just tell her. Women appreciate honesty. You two haven't a lot of emotions invested yet, so ending now would actually be easier... better than later when she finds out you're seeing other women on the side....

 

Someone does you a favor and sets you up with their daughter, and you prefer the bar scene.

It seems like you prefer to go out to bars and get drunk.

You don't really have anything against her. (As you don't really know her yet).

Merely a matter of priorities here.

 

It's your life, though, and you'll learn from your mistakes, just like I learned from mine.....

You only get one chance with some women.... How I wish I had a second chance with some I dated.... Ones that saw my temper come out, or me do things or reacted in ways I shouldn't have....

 

Am sure many guys who post on these threads, like MD Geist, iwishiknew and LightBulbSun, would love to be in your position....

 

As I said, it's your life, Fit. You do what you want.... You are the one responsible for your choices...

[fitforlife]

Well, here is exactly how I feel about this girl I am dating. I like her, I have a great time out with her, I think she's a sweetheart, I think she is pretty, she is someone I would proudly bring in front of my family, and I think she has a potential to be my girlfriend.

 

HOWEVER, I enjoy going out to the clubs/bars on the weekend, getting drunk, and after making out with that girl this past weekend, that's ALL I want to do now! And of course, I want to lose my v-card ASAP! These are all priorities so high to me right now, and yes - I am willing to pass on her for all of the above!! I know if I do become official with this girl, that means I have to be very cautious at bars, no random making out, (eventually) no random sex, no ego boosts following a good night out which would suck. In fact I feel like I could be dangerous if I had a girlfriend right now and went out to the bars, I suspect I would throw all my ambitions out the window and do something that would backfire badly (cheating).

 

As far as what will I do in 5...10 years..that's when I will become in a serious relationship, married, or involved. But right now I am 24 and by no means do I want to be tied down to some girl. My priorities right now are going out, making out with random girls, and trying to lose my v-card. That is my goal as far as my love life goes. I am not interested in seeing the latest 3D film, eating a burger and fries talking about random stuff at a restaurant, taking a walk in the park holding hands, or going to shopping malls.

 

Floridaman, you are right when you say it's my life and decisions, that is true. You also mention you have to make mistakes (and sometimes bad ones) to realize what's good in life. I suspect all of this club scene is really getting to me, if it hasn't already. I feel like I am in a car driving 100 mph and I am destined to either hit 110...120 mph and keep going or crash. Who knows.

 

As bad as this sounds, that's all I can say. At least I'm being honest though.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Floridaman, you are right when you say it's my life and decisions, that is true. You also mention you have to make mistakes (and sometimes bad ones) to realize what's good in life. I suspect all of this club scene is really getting to me, if it hasn't already. I feel like I am in a car driving 100 mph and I am destined to either hit 110...120 mph and keep going or crash. Who knows.

 

As bad as this sounds, that's all I can say. At least I'm being honest though.

Was gonna bail on this thread as advice isn't being taken... until I read this last statememt.

 

If you feel the club scene isn't good for you, and you're about to crash, doesn't that tell you something, Fit?

 

Life in the fast lane is called that for a reason. Know that crashes at high rates of speed can be deadly and more severe.....

 

Time isn't running out for you. Like some of the other never-been-kissed guys in their 20s and early 30s who've posted on this thread and others, there's still time and you have years ahead of you.

Rushing things just for the sake of saying you're not a virgin anymore isn't wise.

 

It's you life, as you acknowledge, but as Philos told you, your regrets will be all on you....

[Spacecapsule]

Floridaman: I know you will not want to hear this, but I expect my virginity to be lost in the same manner. At this rate, knowing how my weekends have been developing, it is only a matter of time. I am prepared to just have a drunken night out and eventually losing my v-card. I don't know how productive this would be versus having it with someone I "love" (a girlfriend) but at this point I can't say it matters too much.

 

I know this is an old thread, but I had to add a comment to this quote. Society pressures people to lose their virginity. I know that I could go out and pay a prostitute or be a bar fly, and I would get laid. That said, I desire something more in the form of a meaningful relationship where sex actually has a meaning rather than just being an activity.

 

I find myself in a state where I can not even get a girlfriend, and most of my peers want me to have sex just so I am not a virgin any more. I have to think if it is all about just having sex and that is it ... I have no opportunity for anything more. Why fool with any of it? Having sex will not make you smarter, or faster, or be able to play in the NFL, yet it is something that has to be done or you will be shunned and ridiculed. I find myself at times unable to sleeping why do I really want to have a relationship for love or lust?

[fitforlife]

Being single is fun and enjoyable. I personally am not seeking anything particular, but I am open minded. Right now a relationship is not my goal and I would not engage in one at this time. I would probably not really consider being in a relationship for another few years (and I am 24). As far as that girl I have been "dating", FloridaMan posted earlier to be upfront and not drag it on, so I pretty much am going to be honest with her. I'm going to let her know I just don't want a relationship. Will I regret it down the road? Maybe. But I would regret it more to lead her on, play games, and then admit to her it was all just a little "skit".

 

All of my friends relationships revolve around the girl. They are always too busy to do anything because they are always tied up. I tried to call my friend last weekend to come out with me and some others and he couldn't because he had to help his girlfriend study for a college exam on a Saturday night. I would not want to spend my Saturday night helping someone with homework. Every weekend I have something different planned. I might go out with a meetup group, I might go out with different friends, anything. I love going out and just dancing with any random girl of my choice.

 

I have other interests in my life right now and things I enjoy besides trying to attain a relationship. Weight lifting/working out, bar/club scene (that's a huge one), spending money on myself, shopping alone, focusing on my life only, time to think and go at my own pace with things. Whether or not a time will come when this all gets boring will yet to be seen. Getting older and being alone sounds a little odd, and I know the club/bar scene won't last forever.

 

I already know I am a good looking guy and most girls would probably enjoy going on a date with me. I'm handsome, I make a good paycheck, I am fun, confident, very outgoing/friendly. I have a lot of positive qualities. However, right now, I like planning my days/weekends/nights around me, and only me.

[Philos]

So there you are.

 

No more complaining about being a virgin though - I bet this girl would have slept with you already.

[fitforlife]

So there you are.

 

No more complaining about being a virgin though - I bet this girl would have slept with you already.

 

Well - I have not canceled with her.....quite yet. Unfortunately right now is a bad time for her and she has some personal things she is doing, but as of now nothing has been canceled with our date coming up soon. I suppose it would be a bad time for me to send her a note or phone call saying I'm not interested in our upcoming date. The truth of the matter is it has been weeks since we've talked. I haven't talked to her or said a word since we made plans to go out. I have kept quiet and continued with my personal life, the whole going out on the weekends ordeal, going shopping, doing things with myself and my friends.

 

However, I am also a man and I have feelings. If I put myself in her shoes, I would be upset if someone gave me the silent treatment like I am doing then ditched me at the last minute for our date we planned weeks ago.

 

The truth is I just don't know what to do. Well, I am not physically or sexually attracted to her. She is someone I can see going out on dates with and having a good time around but I do not get turned on by her looks. She is someone I could consider a girlfriend but I have no sexual feelings for. So now I am stuck with countless options. I can tell her flatout I just want to cancel our date and it won't go anywhere. I can cancel, ask to rescheduled, go out with my friends, and actually never end up rescheduling. Or, I can go on the date, and if I still feel the same way, just not schedule anything again. The con to that is I'd waste a Saturday night that I could be fulfilling other goals.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Just be honest. Tell her she's nice and all but you're not interested in a relationship at this point. God knows how many women told ME that.

 

I think she'd appreciate you being honest over you just not calling anymore.

You don't talk with her much anyway, so no real big feelings on either end.

 

That's what relationships are about, Fit, being with the other person and doing things the two of you would enjoy. Homework of course is a chore, but if you're dating someone in college, that's what you'll have to do. (It's called being supportive).

 

What if the next girl you date is studying for an actuary exam? You gonna bail on her?

She's trying to improve herself.

 

I love to do my own thing and enjoy my hobbies, but I'd much rather spend time with my GF who I turned into a wife. Life is much more enjoyable that way.

 

Shouldn't have to tell you that really isn't the best attitude to have. Sounds kind of selfish. Just being honest here.

 

Like a lot of guys in their late 20s who think time is running out for them (in reality, it isn't) and how they have to lose their virginity and all, methinks your posts - AND behavior - show that you're not really ready for a relationship.

[Spacecapsule]

Like a lot of guys in their late 20s who think time is running out for them (in reality, it isn't) and how they have to lose their virginity and all, methinks your posts - AND behavior - show that you're not really ready for a relationship.

 

Last June when I turned 25 I about had a nervous breakdown because I am still a virgin. I had to really think why I was still a virgin was it by choice? was it involuntary? The conclusion I came to was we as a society have gotten too hung up on sex, I mean it is everywhere. If you are like me Fit, I have always been involved in other activities that I felt was more important than building relationships at the time. Then it came clear to me that I had not been denied sex by some sort of terrible luck, but because I had always had something more important to do. I know that sounds odd, and to be honest I think that is why now I get frustrated. I mean I went through high school and college where I could have taken measures to lose my virginity. Unfortunately, I went to far on pendulum, and kind of developed anti-social tendencies.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Hey, Spacecapsule, can I ask why you went too far on the pendulum?

Was it due to religious reasons, like me, in my 20s?

 

I did have sex in HS - 3X total - and it was AWFUL.... Like Philos, I regret that and would have preferred to remain a virgin.

 

A couple of women gave me opportunities in my late 20s - one of which I accepted but the others I turned down as casual sex sucks and leaves you worse than before.

 

And don't think I don't know how you guys who've never had a GF feel.

Though I didn't have a nervous breadown or anything, I was very lonely but tried not to let it show as I knew negativity won't help attract other people.

 

Like I said, I wasn't very successful at forming relationships through most of my 20s and thought God had forgotten about me. Funny how just 3 mos. after I turned 30, I met my future wife on a blind date...

 

I only post in these threads bec. I think I might be able to encourage and help these guys who were a lot like me.

[fitforlife]

I figured I would post in this thread again and put my thoughts.

 

So, I would like to come here and say that my sister has recently gotten engaged, and will be getting married. She is 22, I am 24. I am going to be honest and admit that I feel a little empty, and it has got me thinking about my current lifestyle and situation. I guess it has made me realize that my ways of living right now (partying, clubbing, aiming to lose my virginity) are not priorities that should be on the top of my list. While it is certainly okay to go out and have fun, I think putting my goals on such ones as I've posted may not be the absolute best thing.

 

So, I have done some digging around, and I would be open to a relationship, but I also recognize that I enjoy some aspects of my single life. However, it has just really hit me now (and I don't know why now out of all times) that I am 24 years old...and my life is pretty much work, exercise, and partying. And, that's okay for now..but I admit somewhere deep inside I really do want a relationship at some point.

 

Yesterday I was incredibly frustrated and stressed out with myself. I couldn't take it. Between work, and the emptiness inside of me, I lost it. Granted I workout everyday and lift weights, I used to have an eating disorder, I was an emotional eater for two years. I overcame that issue quite sometime ago, but last night I flat-out binged on a ton of food to relieve the stress. I went to the grocery store, loaded up with ice cream and all that junk food, and ate it all. I walked out of the grocery store and saw a homeless man near a dumpster so I ended up giving him some cookies I bought but I still took the rest of the crap home with me and ate it. I slipped into my old ways but that is OK. I will be okay today because I know food isn't going to help me again because it's just a temporary fix.

 

Basically, this post makes no sense. What I am saying is I would like a potential relationship. I truly believe most things I have said and my current lifestyle of partying, clubbing, random kissing (and goal to lose my virginity) are ways to just cover up the truth. So, whew, I had to let that out.

 

But, I AM OK! I know I have a lot of potential, I am a good looking guy, and have a lot to offer. One thing I tell other single guys is "Would you date yourself". I personally would date me, because I like who I am and what I have to offer. Looking down the next few weeks, I have a lot of events planned with my friends. I really am not "single" because I will always have my friends around. Even if ones dissappear, new ones will come up. I just wanted to type this out. I feel SO much more relieved and relaxed now that I let my true feelings out.

[ClarenceRutherford]

But, I AM OK! I know I have a lot of potential, I am a good looking guy, and have a lot to offer.

 

One thing I tell other single guys is "Would you date yourself". I personally would date me, because I like who I am and what I have to offer.

 

Looking down the next few weeks, I have a lot of events planned with my friends. I really am not "single" because I will always have my friends around. Even if ones dissappear, new ones will come up. I just wanted to type this out. I feel SO much more relieved and relaxed now that I let my true feelings out.

You have some inner confidence that a lot of single guys unfortunately lack.

[fitforlife]

Well last night was no good. Another night out, another wasted money on drinks again. I am supposed to go out again tonight but I am starting to ask myself if this is worth it? All the money, and getting no where...

 

Last night that girl I am "dating" called me out of the blue when I was kind of drunk, I did not answer...and left me a message about our date as she really wants to go. I told my friend about it and he said it would be the lowest of lows to ditch her for a night out at the bars. I haven't called her back yet but part of me feels really empty and harsh if I canceled her, especially knowing for what.

 

Who knows at this point. Even I don't know what I want.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Well last night was no good. Another night out, another wasted money on drinks again. I am supposed to go out again tonight but I am starting to ask myself if this is worth it? All the money, and getting no where...

 

Last night that girl I am "dating" called me out of the blue when I was kind of drunk, I did not answer...and left me a message about our date as she really wants to go. I told my friend about it and he said it would be the lowest of lows to ditch her for a night out at the bars. I haven't called her back yet but part of me feels really empty and harsh if I canceled her, especially knowing for what.

 

Who knows at this point. Even I don't know what I want.

My advice would be to keep the date, Fit.

You sound like you're getting exhausted or exasperated from the bar and club scene.

A date with a real woman may bring you back to earth.

 

You don't have to get exclusive or marry this girl you're dating, but it should give you some needed dating experience.

 

Just can't help noticing the contrast between the women you may meet at the bars and this girl who's like in another world.

[fitforlife]

I did keep our date on. I called her last night and we talked for about 20 minutes. Yea, it was a little awkward for me to have conversation, especially considering I have been doing my "game" in the club scene where I am usually buzzed, drunk, or around friends. So, I guess what I am saying is I was a little nervous, the butterflies got a hold of me (ahhhh....I know, that sounds cute) but that's okay.

 

Anyways, we are going out this weekend. Unfortunately, I do not quite yet know entirely what we are going to do which is bad on my part. I told her we would go to eat at this awesome restaurant and then I suggested a few more ideas for things afterwards, all of which she was open too. So I will have to figure which one to do. It's kinda in my hands now.

 

Well, I will make sure to update how it goes. I suspect after this date I will have a general idea of where this could possibly be headed. I guess I already should, considering we have seen each other about five times. I think what I am saying is this has potential, but I am not setting any goals for myself. Meaning, I am not expecting success or failure. Instead, I am just going to "let things happen as they do". If I set myself for success and things don't work out, then I will feel upset and guilty. I know many people know how that feels. And of course, if I set myself up for failure, it will be impossible to succeed.

 

I do appreciate the advice in this thread FM, and others as well. My friends are going out Saturday so I will not be able to make it, but in a way it feels good to do something besides getting drunk and throwing away $50 for more often times than not, nothing.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Anyways, we are going out this weekend. Unfortunately, I do not quite yet know entirely what we are going to do which is bad on my part. I told her we would go to eat at this awesome restaurant and then I suggested a few more ideas for things afterwards, all of which she was open too. So I will have to figure which one to do. It's kinda in my hands now.

Try to always develop a plan, even if it is just dinner and maybe bowling, a play or some other activity. Activities other than movies allow for interaction and conversation.

It looks well for you in the woman's mind, that you've actually taken some time to plan an event so she's not just something to do or fill time with. Like you actually took some time to plan what to do.

 

I will make sure to update how it goes. I suspect after this date I will have a general idea of where this could possibly be headed.

 

I guess I already should, considering we have seen each other about five times.

....

I do appreciate the advice in this thread FM, and others as well. My friends are going out Saturday so I will not be able to make it, but in a way it feels good to do something besides getting drunk and throwing away $50 for more often times than not, nothing .

A date could be a lot less expensive, depending on the type of restaurant you go to.

For others, I'd advise not spending a ton of money on first dates as the first date could be the one and only date you ever get with the woman. Just a little experience talking here.

 

On if this girl's worth pursuing long term, I see what you're saying. Not every woman appeals to every guy, so it's totally up to you what you do.

If you don't see her as having relationship potential, tell her so (kindly) and move on. She should appreciate honesty.

 

If you two are in the same social circles and you later meet another guy that might work well for her, tell her (and him). That shows that you really cared for her and were honest.

Who knows. She might do the same for you in the future.

I think what I am saying is this has potential, but I am not setting any goals for myself. Meaning, I am not expecting success or failure.

 

Instead, I am just going to "let things happen as they do".

 

If I set myself for success and things don't work out, then I will feel upset and guilty.

I know many people know how that feels.

 

And of course, if I set myself up for failure, it will be impossible to succeed.

That's wise. It's all about expectations.

If you don't go into some situation (work, new job, date, etc.) with high expectations, you won't be let down.

If you meet someone and think she may be "the one," and she doesn't reciprocate interest, you're gonna be crushed. Again, experience talkin' here.

 

Fit, I'd never recommend dating someone you're not interested in or staying with them longer than you have to. Only wanted to point out that these kind of women, IMHO, would be better for you --- and hence, more similar to you and your lifestyle -- than some you may meet in other venues...

[ClarenceRutherford]

I have a serious question for men who have never ever had a girlfriend in their life.I'm noticing a seriuos pattern between you guys.Why are you guys soo picky?I was playing matchmaker for some of my male"never had a gf in their life" friends and the men had this long list(looks,weight,she had to work out).Why are you men soooo picky?

You still around, Quiet Girl?

I recall you saying you're the type of "doll left on the shelf.." I don't think that's true.

Please chime in, Quiet Girl.

[friendsoulmate]

I held high standards for a long time and couldn't get a gf until my senior year in hs... I found a girl who met those standards (for a while anyway)... after she broke up with me my standards are even higher. I had (and a lot more now) confidence in myself knowing I had a lot to offer someone. If a girl didn't wanna date me then it was her loss not mine, and it's the same now. I'm not gonna lower my standards just because I don't have a girlfriend for a while...

 

Nonsense

 

This is how I felt after I ended my 2 1/2 month relationship with my one and only girlfriend, when I was 19. I have since then wanted to raise my standards. I don't have any regrets for raising my standards. I do regret the loneliness, which followed, including the social disgust from society, for being a loner.

[MD Geist]

I recently had my first one but broke it off with her quickly for various reasons. I can tell you because the dating scene here is terrible. You can't date a girl out here unless your a main in uniform or you make tons of money.

[The_Seeker]

I asked my brother since he's been single all his life and is 21. ;]

 

His reasons were

 

- Haven't found a girl he connected with for a while

- Have too many girls around him all the time [He's a party boy. But is not a major douche] and afraid his future gf would get insecure even if he brings her with him. He can't stand if his gf doesn't trust him.

- Dated a girl he was interested in but she said he's a player again, too many girls around him all the time.

- Trying to find a girl who trusts him completely and loves him for who he his not for what he has

 

So that's the reason my brother has never had a girlfriend so far. I think girls mistrust him. LOL It's probably he's a good-looking guy and very well-mannered that girls his age assume he's a player. It's not his fault that girls love hugging him all the time whenever they see him.

[somethngwrng]

This time last year I'd never had a girlfriend. This year I met someone that I dated from Early March until October and I honestly just feel worse for wear about the whole ordeal. I completely fluked out getting a girlfriend and the whole thing just went HORRIBLY. I could not maintain her attraction to me and looking back on it, she was trying to get away from me from less than 3 months into the relationship. I don't know if it was because I was smothering her (though the opposite seemed true at the time), or that there was seriously something wrong with me or her (ironic I'm asking this, with my username, I know).

 

So at 27 I fluked out getting a girlfriend and she turned out completely wrong for me and I just don't see myself being able to attract another woman - especially not long term. It was just such a random occurrance that she was attracted to me, and it was all over in an instant.

[Shakeybones]

im 23, with no true gf/bf title ever.

 

ive had 3-relationships though in a indirect sort of way if that makes since.

 

first two, i didnt make a move so i guess they got bored and did other things then tried to come back to me, didnt happen

 

the 3rd girl i truly loved her, but we never had the gf/bf title...she didnt want it, it didnt matter to me as long as we were having a good time. even lost my virginity to her.

 

And i can honestly say, ive never had a legitimate girlfriend, why... i have no effin clue, they all told me i was such a great catch and "they should have know what they had"- this is after all of there fallouts, idk what i do.... but they didn't see me romantically... it really baffles me.... after i stopped talking to the last one, she sends me a message saying shes sorry for all the drama and that is was never me... which i already knew but, it was another message of i shouldn't have done this to you.... the thing is is that im not a doormat for women at all, im polite and such but I DO NOT KNOW WHY this keeps happening.

 

so for me the answer is very complicated. at 23... hopefully one day i can find the right one who wants that bf/gf title