"Never had a girlfriend" men(why)

[Lonewing]

If there's one thing I know about myself, I'm really really quite picky. To the point where I'd rather be alone than with the wrong one.

[ClarenceRutherford]

This time last year I'd never had a girlfriend. This year I met someone that I dated from Early March until October and I honestly just feel worse for wear about the whole ordeal. I completely fluked out getting a girlfriend and the whole thing just went HORRIBLY. I could not maintain her attraction to me and looking back on it, she was trying to get away from me from less than 3 months into the relationship.

 

I don't know if it was because I was smothering her (though the opposite seemed true at the time), or that there was seriously something wrong with me or her (ironic I'm asking this, with my username, I know).

 

somethngwrng,

There's nothing "wrong" with you.

Just keep trying. You can't give up.

 

Was where you are in my mid-20s and things looked bleak. Dated, but the women I went out with seemed so ambivalent, not interested in the same things I wanted (long term relationship, marriage).

 

Realized I didn't need to be dating women younger than me or close to my age (25-26).

Made a deliberate move to try to date women a little older than me, say 3-5 years older.

As they were getting older, sensed they would be more open to a relationship with me, good ole' awkward, "never been successful with a woman" kinda guy.

 

From then on, dated women that were older than me. Or at least close to my age.

And it worked.

 

Intensified my dating, trying to meet women at groups, church and other singles groups, etc., and soon found myself ALMOST engaged to a 30 y.o. after 6 mos. of dating. That ended but that's another story, and had to date many other women 27-30.

 

 

 

 

So at 27 I fluked out getting a girlfriend and she turned out completely wrong for me and I just don't see myself being able to attract another woman - especially not long term.

It was just such a random occurrance that she was attracted to me, and it was all over in an instant.

Would also suggest on dates, try to act natural and relaxed.

Women don't like nervous or uptight men.

They want to date confident guys who are comfortable with themselves, their lives, others' lives and the world around them.

 

Non-chalance or acting like you don't care or your happiness doesn't depend on this woman also helps.

Don't invest too much into the women you date and don't make like she's "the one." That will keep your nerves from getting too high.

 

Don't go in with too high expectations. If this one works out, great. If not, there'll be another down the line.

 

 

For some more tips on dating successfully, please take a gander at this thread. You may get some ideas there.

Help for those who can't get dates in their late 20s, 30s and 40s

 

 

This thread may also help. You may not be shy, as the title of the thread, but it can give you ideas for cold-calling and ways to approach women. More women.

The Shy Story- Calling all Shy and/or "Nice" Guys!

[Polis]

What exactly constitutes "having a g/f"? I'm 27 and I've dated a few girls for a few weeks but am constistently dumped for one reason or another. I've been on many dates with girls that do not excite me at all, so it's not like I can't get dates.

 

My friends tell me I'm too picky but I'm dating constantly and the girls I do like decide to leave me after a few weeks. Although they tell me what a good guy I am and how I'm really attractive, well so they say, and usually that they do like me but apparently that isn't enough. It's always either they can't/don't want to make time for me, either busy with work or "finding themselves" or it's my health. I don't understand why girls bother going out with me, I make it clear I want to date and if we hit it off well then develop a relationship. Every single time they agree with me at first but then leave me, usually after leading me on... it's so frustrating.

 

That coupled with depression in my past messing up how I handle emotions really is why I never have had a g/f. I'm not particularly shy or really that picky. No girl I have ever dated for more than a few dates has bothered to tell me or answer me when I ask if something about me drove them away. It's always the same crap, wanting to be friends and "hang out" but won't date and then never even bother to throw be a bone about what happened.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Was much the same way in my early 20s.

Had a hard time getting that first date, and once I did, was hard to get more dates.

 

How are you handling yourself in the dates?

 

Do you focus the conversation on her and what she's interested in?

 

If you act nervous or desperate, women sense that and it repels them.

[ClarenceRutherford]

What exactly constitutes "having a g/f"? I'm 27 and I've dated a few girls for a few weeks but am constistently dumped for one reason or another. I've been on many dates with girls that do not excite me at all, so it's not like I can't get dates.

Polis,

In addition to the links I linked to above, take a look at this thread by a poster who was in a similar situation to you.

Could give you some ideas.

[h=3]Serious thread on how to find people to date[/h]

[Polis]

Thanks for the response. I don't have trouble getting dates, that's not the issue. It's nothing lasting long even though I'm constantly told how great I am and they have a good time with me, blah, blah, blah... If mutual attraction isn't there then I don't really care, it's the girls that I date for weeks that do 180's. Last girl said she didn't have time for a relationship, after five dates over a few weeks; I told her what I wanted up front and she was agreeable then she changed her mind. Everytime we went out she was all over me, even with no alcohol involved. The girl before that I saw like 3-5 times a week for a few weeks, but she left me due to some health issues I have.

 

I try to be myself and again show what I have to offer when I start dating. Really, I can find a date once a week or even more if I really wanted to, I have one Thursday but it's from an online site, so we'll see. Most of my dates are from meeting the girl in person, off-line.

 

Maybe I have bad luck and need to keep trying, it's just rough being rejected over and over and over again and not being told what the issue is. One girl who was seriously crushing on me said she wasn't good enough for me and left.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Thanks for the response. I don't have trouble getting dates, that's not the issue. It's nothing lasting long even though I'm constantly told how great I am and they have a good time with me, blah, blah, blah... If mutual attraction isn't there then I don't really care, it's the girls that I date for weeks that do 180's. Last girl said she didn't have time for a relationship, after five dates over a few weeks; I told her what I wanted up front and she was agreeable then she changed her mind. Everytime we went out she was all over me, even with no alcohol involved. The girl before that I saw like 3-5 times a week for a few weeks, but she left me due to some health issues I have.

If it's not too personal, can you give us a general idea of your health challenges?

Why would that come up in dating?

Come up so much that a woman you dated left you because of your health issues?

 

 

I try to be myself and again show what I have to offer when I start dating. Really, I can find a date once a week or even more if I really wanted to, I have one Thursday but it's from an online site, so we'll see. Most of my dates are from meeting the girl in person, off-line.

 

Maybe I have bad luck and need to keep trying, it's just rough being rejected over and over and over again and not being told what the issue is. One girl who was seriously crushing on me said she wasn't good enough for me and left.

Know how you feel there.

Recall crying out to my mother @24-26, "Why do I repel women? What's wrong with me??"

 

Had the same issues as you. Could date but was hard to keep dating the same woman. They soon lost interest, until I hit 28-29 when my dating improved considerably.

 

One thing may be to take things lightly. Don't get all nervous or "worked up."

When I met my future wife @30, recall not being impressed with her on that first arranged date.

She was nice and attractive and all, but I didn't sense any interest in me, so just took it easy and thought how there'd be other women I'd date, so no biggie.

Did call her and we dated more, and it worked well. Our future dates went much better.

But I think how a guy handles himself in dates can help.

 

 

Maybe I have bad luck and need to keep trying, it's just rough being rejected over and over and over again and not being told what the issue is. One girl who was seriously crushing on me said she wasn't good enough for me and left.

Getting "third party" advice might help.

Do you have a close female friend who could give you advice?

Perhaps have her sit at a nearby table at the restaurant so she can hear your conversation with your dates.

 

I was having trouble finding a job during a recession years ago. So asked a relative to pretend she was checking references. Figured was getting bad references.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Getting "third party" advice might help.

Do you have a close female friend who could give you advice?

Perhaps have her sit at a nearby table at the restaurant so she can hear your conversation with your dates.

 

I was having trouble finding a job during a recession years ago. So asked a relative to pretend she was checking references. Figured was getting bad references.

Too late to edit this thought in:

Could you go on a "practice" date with that female friend?

Perhaps it's a cousin, I dunno.

 

Take her to a restaurant or something and act like you do on your dates.

She would need to forget she's a friend and pretend this is a date with you.

You might gain some valuable insights from a female perspective that you otherwise wouldn't know.

[somethngwrng]

somethngwrng,

There's nothing "wrong" with you.

Just keep trying. You can't give up.

 

Would also suggest on dates, try to act natural and relaxed.

Women don't like nervous or uptight men.

They want to date confident guys who are comfortable with themselves, their lives, others' lives and the world around them.

 

Non-chalance or acting like you don't care or your happiness doesn't depend on this woman also helps.

Don't invest too much into the women you date and don't make like she's "the one." That will keep your nerves from getting too high.

 

Don't go in with too high expectations. If this one works out, great. If not, there'll be another down the line.

I have read through the threads you linked, I read them before but read them again anyway.

 

Let me say the only form of dating I do is online dating. At this point in time I do not meet enough women to get dates any other way. Of the women I have met through online dating, I considered every date to go well. By going well, I mean we talked pretty much nonstop throughout the date in a "getting to know you" sense. It's frustrating because I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm avoiding coming on too strong, avoid negativity about myself or the world in general, try to let them know that I have my own social life, hobbies, stories, etc. I keep them talking about themselves a lot, which I heard a 70/30 ratio is a good amount. Honestly, I have a date with a cute girl coming up this weekend but I'm not in the least excited nor nervous about it. I just know that probably nothing will become of it. I'm becoming jaded and starting to think "geez, what's the point? Even if I manage to get these girls on multiple dates with me, it still goes nowhere, why bother?".

 

I have picked up some new interests like latin/ballroom dancing but I'm just hopeless at approaching and talking to people, making friendships etc. I guess I come off as a perma acquaintance toward people. It's not just dating. Even in my job which I've been working at for 2 years, I'm last to be considered when all the young people go out (20-30s). Sometimes I get an invite, but it's always an afterthought.

[ApocalypseDreams]

If there's one thing I know about myself, I'm really really quite picky. To the point where I'd rather be alone than with the wrong one.

 

I'm the same. I've had a couple of relationships with the 'wrong one' now, through loneliness etc, and my opinion is it's better to be alone than with the wrong one. At least then, you'll be ready for when the right one comes along.

[ClarenceRutherford]

This isn't directed at any particular poster, but guys, please make sure yo wear good clothing.

Dressing bad could turn-off women, so I hear.

 

Take a look at the first pic I've linked to (anonymously) in my profile. (Not including a direct link bec. the pic link can't be edited out later).

 

 

Didn't know anything about good attire in my 20s. Didn't have any close or otherwise female friends.

 

If you can, have a female friend, sister or cousin guide you when buying clothes. Female perspectives can help.

[jeepman41]

I guess there are as many reasons as hairs on your head. I consciously delayed having a girlfriend until I was out of high school. I had a lot of female friends and some remain even until today but I wasn't interested in a girlfriend during my youth. I remember being nervous during my early interaction with females but I was able to move past that.

[Polis]

If it's not too personal, can you give us a general idea of your health challenges?

Why would that come up in dating?

Come up so much that a woman you dated left you because of your health issues?

 

It's an abdominal issue, likely with my digestive tract that is causing a huge drop in libido and loss of control. But I think the Dr. has figured out what is causing the issue and I'm doing alot better, bit late haha. I don't really want a girl who is going to leave me over having to wait a few weeks for me to get better but it still was a pain. Sex with the girl was hit or miss as far as pleasing her and the Dr. said to abstain for a bit, that's when she got aggrevated I guess her libido is super high? She has issues of her own so it sucked but leaving me over that really made me sigh. She wanted to keep me around as a "friend" but no way I was doing that.

 

I'm not nervous when going out with women, or worked up. Although my health issue has depressed me from time to time and it did get worse a few months ago but is better. I have a few close female friends, they all tell me I'm a catch. I dunno, I mean the girls I'm interested in usually go on multiple dates with me and txt me alot, then turn a 180 saying they aren't ready or leave me for some reason I can't control or "nothing to do with me". But how can it be soooo often!?

 

Oh well I have a date this weekend with a pretty cool girl.

[Alabama]

For me it is not a question of being picky, but shy a lot of the time. I just can't seem to get the courage to ask a girl out before I fall into a "friend trap".

[ClarenceRutherford]

It's an abdominal issue, likely with my digestive tract that is causing a huge drop in libido and loss of control. But I think the Dr. has figured out what is causing the issue and I'm doing alot better, bit late haha. I don't really want a girl who is going to leave me over having to wait a few weeks for me to get better but it still was a pain. Sex with the girl was hit or miss as far as pleasing her and the Dr. said to abstain for a bit, that's when she got aggrevated I guess her libido is super high? She has issues of her own so it sucked but leaving me over that really made me sigh.

Okay. Thanks for the explanation. That would be a problem.

Good to hear you're getting treated for it.

 

Be careful what you eat on dates.

Not saying this is any way related to your serious medical condition, but I can't eat a lot of spicy foods or chips with lots of salsa, used to make me have to visit the restroom. So on dates, cut out any kind of foods that would disagree with you and try to eat less-spicy foods.

 

She wanted to keep me around as a "friend" but no way I was doing that.

Smart man.

Being "friends" with your EX helps the other heal and move on.

Going No Contact with the EX gives you strength and helps you heal and move on.

 

I'm not nervous when going out with women, or worked up.

Good. Wasn't sure.

Wrote that more for the benefit of others reading this.

Some guys do get nervous and don't know what to say, or say the wrong things, etc.

Looking back, in college I think I "talked myself out of" some dates with women bec. I didn't say the right thing, or acted nervous, etc., when talking with them -- before I got the chance to ask them out.

They suddenly weren't "as available" in conversation to me....

Small things but I think the women may have sensed something was amiss by my awkwardness.

 

Although my health issue has depressed me from time to time and it did get worse a few months ago but is better. I have a few close female friends, they all tell me I'm a catch. I dunno, I mean the girls I'm interested in usually go on multiple dates with me and txt me alot, then turn a 180 saying they aren't ready or leave me for some reason I can't control or "nothing to do with me". But how can it be soooo often!?

Try to see if one of them can give you some "independent" advice.

If they can't be with you in the same restaurant on a date, go over with them what happens on the date, how you handle yourself, what you talk about, etc.

Or if there's a way to use a micro-recorder in your pocket (so not detectable) to record your (not her's) interactions, the most important thing here.

 

Oh well I have a date this weekend with a pretty cool girl.

Good. Keep dating.

 

Hope that goes well.

[ClarenceRutherford]

I have read through the threads you linked, I read them before but read them again anyway.

 

Let me say the only form of dating I do is online dating. At this point in time I do not meet enough women to get dates any other way.

Online dating is wise. I know two married couples who met from online dating, so that can produce success.

Of the women I have met through online dating, I considered every date to go well. By going well, I mean we talked pretty much nonstop throughout the date in a "getting to know you" sense.

 

I'm avoiding coming on too strong, avoid negativity about myself or the world in general, try to let them know that I have my own social life, hobbies, stories, etc.

 

I keep them talking about themselves a lot, which I heard a 70/30 ratio is a good amount.

Sounds like you're handling yourself well on the dates. Important to keep the conversation focused on them.

As most people don't want to talk only about themselves, they'll ask you questions and let you discuss what you like, etc.

 

 

 

Honestly, I have a date with a cute girl coming up this weekend but I'm not in the least excited nor nervous about it. I just know that probably nothing will become of it. I'm becoming jaded and starting to think "geez, what's the point? Even if I manage to get these girls on multiple dates with me, it still goes nowhere, why bother?".

My best advice here is to act non-chalant, like you could care less if it isn't a success.

That may be hard to do.

At least, then, don't get your hopes up too high.

 

I have picked up some new interests like latin/ballroom dancing but I'm just hopeless at approaching and talking to people, making friendships etc. I guess I come off as a perma acquaintance toward people. It's not just dating. Even in my job which I've been working at for 2 years, I'm last to be considered when all the young people go out (20-30s). Sometimes I get an invite, but it's always an afterthought.

 

Not sure what to tell you here.

Maybe be more forward and make a more concerted effort to meet people at work, in your social circles, etc.

Be the first to "meet and greet" (introduce) yourself to people you meet.

 

 

 

It's frustrating because I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

 

somethngwrng (and Polis):

 

 

It may not really be anything on your part, and may have more to do with the women you're dating.

Perhaps they're looking for something else.

 

Recall trying to ask a certain woman out in college. She always told me no.

 

Tried to get a date with a woman who worked in another area of my company shortly out of college, but it never happened.

She was ambivalent or non-committal. So just gave up and didn't pursue her.

 

Years later, searching their names on facebook, both are obese (almost morbidly).

These were short and thin in college.

 

According to her facebook page "likes," the first one is in groups for depression, troubled children, etc.

The second woman, apparently not married (maybe never married).

Her "family" is an adopted child.

 

That shows me those two had other troubles in their life, and may have been dealing with such troubles (esp. the first in college) when they met me.

So don't think it's necessarily something wrong on your end.

 

 

Just keep dating and you're bound to meet one who shares your interests.

 

As you're close to 30, please look to women your age or older. The young 20-somethings are too ambivalent and will only frustrate you.

Speakin' from experience here.

[somethngwrng]

Online dating is wise. I know two married couples who met from online dating, so that can produce success.

 

Sounds like you're handling yourself well on the dates. Important to keep the conversation focused on them.

As most people don't want to talk only about themselves, they'll ask you questions and let you discuss what you like, etc.

I think I do well on the dates themselves, but it bothers me that these girls are rarely interested in a follow up. I've never been ignored by a girl after meeting them for a date, but the tone of their messages changes and suddenly I'll be the only one doing any contacting. Even via text message the tone is noticeable and then I'll stop messaging them and never hear from them again. I'm not sure if maybe I'm giving off the wrong vibe, if my looks are holding me back or what.

 

My best advice here is to act non-chalant, like you could care less if it isn't a success.

That may be hard to do.

At least, then, don't get your hopes up too high.

This is how I try to portray myself on the dates, more or less just being friendly. In fact, I've had a few girls who PRIOR to meeting me seemed really into me, over the top ("I have high hopes for you!") type thing. I tend to change the subject on these kind of messages while remaining flirty. Those same people with ridiculously high hopes for me have given up on me immediately after the first date. On the first, I don't tend to go in for any physical contact (hug/kiss) but rather wait to see if they are interested in going out again.

 

It may not really be anything on your part, and may have more to do with the women you're dating.

Perhaps they're looking for something else.That shows me those two had other troubles in their life, and may have been dealing with such troubles (esp. the first in college) when they met me.

So don't think it's necessarily something wrong on your end.

 

 

Just keep dating and you're bound to meet one who shares your interests.

 

As you're close to 30, please look to women your age or older. The young 20-somethings are too ambivalent and will only frustrate you.

Speakin' from experience here.

I'm 27 and generally the girls I have been dating have been 23-29. I realise these women must get asked out on a lot of dates so they have a lot of choice and I shouldn't really take it personally. It's just really frustrating that I am never that choice. I have a date tonight with a 26 year old and then another this weekend with a 25 year old. Trying very hard not to get frustrated with my lack of success.

[erzerum7]

To me it sounds like either they're not into your appearance and don't want to be mean about refusing you even one date OR they think you look good (hence the first dates) but something you're (not) doing/saying during your first dates is turning them off from further dates.

 

Can you go on a "fake date" with a female *friend* of yours who can give you pointers on what's interesting conversation, good mannerisms, etc.? Perhaps it's something you're overlooking...

[TehShyGuy85]

I'm turning 26 and i have never had a GF. I do not find myself picky at all. My only turn offs are: Way To Overweight and Have Kids Already.

 

All i really do is work and school, i really do not go out. Only place i go out by myself is to the Gym. With friends i either visit them because they already have a girlfriend or playing sports. I know girls like me because i talk to them all the time at my work, i joke around with them they joke with me etc. My issue is not being able to talk to girls it's always been trying to get a date or to just to hang out with them.

 

I do find myself attracted to "most" girls though it always seems that the ones that like me are the ones i do not find attractive which is quite frustrating.

[Polis]

Try to see if one of them can give you some "independent" advice.

If they can't be with you in the same restaurant on a date, go over with them what happens on the date, how you handle yourself, what you talk about, etc.

Or if there's a way to use a micro-recorder in your pocket (so not detectable) to record your (not her's) interactions, the most important thing here.

 

It's not the dates that go poorly, it's what I want and how I am I would guess. Every girl I have dated more than a two weeks I have talked to or txt'ed alot to get to know each other. I get the same line everytime, I am great and it's not me it's them. Girls are weird.

 

Also I don't really consider someone I dated for a month an "ex", I didn't consider her my "g/f" just someone I was dating. The one that dumped me for being sick I didn't want to be friends with because it was really selfish to leave, especially the way she did.

 

The real question is why don't women answer guys when they ask what really went wrong or what is so unattractive about them?

[ClarenceRutherford]

Also I don't really consider someone I dated for a month an "ex", I didn't consider her my "g/f" just someone I was dating. The one that dumped me for being sick I didn't want to be friends with because it was really selfish to leave, especially the way she did.

 

The real question is why don't women answer guys when they ask what really went wrong or what is so unattractive about them?

If you dated her for any amount of time, more than a couple of dates, and especially if you had sex with her, she's an EX-GF.

But there's nothing wrong with having EXs.

 

It's not the dates that go poorly, it's what I want and how I am I would guess.

Every girl I have dated more than a two weeks I have talked to or txt'ed alot to get to know each other. I get the same line everytime, I am great and it's not me it's them. Girls are weird.

How frequently are you texting her after the dates?

 

There's the "push-pull" theory where women seem to want what they don't have.

If they sense their partner is withdrawing, they get scared or nervous and think something's wrong, and try to get closer to her guy.

 

Perhaps you're engaging in too much texting or talking on the phone during the early part of your dating.

 

Talking constantly or texting frequently is a good thing if you've dated for a while and are "exclusive" or regularly dating, say "steady," but if you've only had a couple of dates, try to lessen the communication. Or at least keep the communication short.

It's like someone talking all the time. Can drive the other person away.

 

Allow for some "mystery" and let her initiate contact more often.

Yes, date her but don't become "so available" or "always there" to where she starts to take you for granted.

 

Act a little "disinterested" or "non-chalant" and make her make some moves. It can give a guy some strength.

 

Talkin' from experience.

A naive guy in my 20s, didn't know much about this until I hit 30 when I read in a dating book how to be less "always there" esp. in the early parts of your dating.

[Polis]

If you dated her for any amount of time, more than a couple of dates, and especially if you had sex with her, she's an EX-GF.

But there's nothing wrong with having EXs.

 

I highly disagree. Sex is not a good indicator of a relationship, we weren't in a stable relationship, she wasn't my g/f nor did she consider me a b/f. Neither of us were that emotionally invested. I would consider a g/f someone I can rely on and have an attachment too, a month of dating doesn't really do that for me.

 

Usually dates contact me first via txt to chat. I txt a ton and if I'm busy I respond later. I don't txt a girl constantly if they don't respond. I'm not always available, but usually am pretty interested in getting to know a girl. I'm pretty sure I figured out my problem now, girls are probably excited to date me and be with me and will tell me we both have the same intentions, but in the end they do not.

 

With the divorce rate at a massive 50% I'm fairly hesitant to trust any book that advocates playing a game with someone to try to get them to stay, essentially tricking their emotions, written by someone who has "years of experience".

 

Thanks for the advice but it's not anything I haven't already read on dozens of dating sites. It all boils down to two people having conflicting compatability, either what they want, personality or physical attraction. Playing games delays the inevitable.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Do what you want but reading through the information on Non-Chalance (and No-Contact after she dumps you), it really opened my eyes and showed me all the mistakes I made when I dated in my 20s.

Saw myself in some of the threads.

 

Please, do yourself a favor and read through some of that.

Guarantee you'll gain some ideas.

 

With the divorce rate at a massive 50% I'm fairly hesitant to trust any book that advocates playing a game with someone to try to get them to stay, essentially tricking their emotions, written by someone who has "years of experience".

 

Thanks for the advice but it's not anything I haven't already read on dozens of dating sites. It all boils down to two people having conflicting compatability, either what they want, personality or physical attraction. Playing games delays the inevitable.

Polis,

Am not recommending playing games, just remaining cool and not so invested in the other in early parts of your dating.

Once you become exclusive and you two fall in love, that's different.

 

You HAVE to learn some things and become better at dating.

Women are tricky and will use and abuse you, and dumpy your sorry ass at the drop of a hat (been there, done that).

You can't be naive at this.

 

ENA's DramaLama has some good resources on nonchalance and no contact..

dramallama's relationship/breaking up/no contact advice threads

 

Nonchalance is Your Friend explains the benefits of playing it cool, not acting like this other person you're dating is "the one," acting like you can live without him or her, etc.

 

It's a big long thread, but when I read it, I saw myself in many of the posts there.

Am sure you will see yourself and your actions towards girls who are so ambivalent to you.

 

 

If I knew half of this when I dated during my 20s (am in my 40s now and married), I tell you I wouldn't have made half the mistakes I made and would have been much more successful in attracting women.... and may have married long before I entered my 30s...

[Stay_home]

I used to work with a guy who was like this.

 

He was 41 years old and had never dated, kissed or had sexual relations with any woman. He wasn't gay or anything, but as far as being a strange bird, that he was. But I remember asking him once about it and he said he'd feel so constricted and that he'd feel as if he had a ball & chain around his ankle. He was also very socially awkward, inappropriate. He'd eat things off the floor if he dropped it, fart out loud and not excuse himself and when he got upset, he'd freakout and say really bizarre sort of things. Nice guy, just really strange and awkward.

[somethngwrng]

So how much is the right amount of contact? For instance, I went out with a girl last night and her behaviour on the date was really throwing me off. She kept making jokes about excuses she would make to leave. But we were out together for a good 4 hours. I think she purposely missed her bus to spend an extra hour with me. I texted her after the date saying I had a good time with her and I found her attractive. She sent a long response saying she enjoyed it, and then another long text about getting together again.

 

As she sent the last message, I sent a short one today at lunch asking about her day. Is this overkill?