... The Infamous "boys night"

[FallenAngel00]

I would also wonder ( and it may not be the case in your situation!) because of my past relationships with problems like this..

 

when a guy can't commit to a daytrip.. or making plans.. or a weekend away.. is he going to be able to commit to anything else? or does he not want to make plans in case something better comes along?

 

I saw this in a previous relationship it was only little things like we be hanging out on a Sunday afternoon..and a friend would call and say "come over and do this" to him.. and he would leave because we 'weren't really doing anything anyway'

 

but really, he was just waiting for something better to come along .. he never met anyone else.. but I don't think he wanted to make firm plans with me.. because he wasn't sure about me

 

 

We have talked about this too... Because i really was feeling like that on another occasion (that he didnt want to make plans incase something better came along) and he openly admitted thats kind of what it is, but he said i shouldnt really take it the wrong way.

[shikashika]

We have talked about this too... Because i really was feeling like that on another occasion (that he didnt want to make plans incase something better came along) and he openly admitted thats kind of what it is, but he said i shouldnt really take it the wrong way.

 

he admitted that? that wouldn't make me too happy You would think one could commit to ONE DAY of being with his girlfriend.

[Mun]

You should take it the wrong way. Don't let anyone talk you out of your feelings girl. And you should pay attention to his behavior. What he does is more telling of how he feels about the relationship than what he says.

 

He sounds a bit selfish to me, sorry. He's not treating you well in my opinion... you have every right to be hurt

[shikashika]

You should take it the wrong way. Don't let anyone talk you out of your feelings girl. And you should pay attention to his behavior. What he does is more telling of how he feels about the relationship than what he says.

 

He sounds a bit selfish to me, sorry. He's not treating you well in my opinion... you have every right to be hurt

 

 

I agree Mun.. when anyone says' dont' feel like that' they are just disrepecting your feelings

[annie24]

in case something "better" comes around? ummmmmm....... not cool.

[FallenAngel00]

Im worried now that i've made him sound alot worse than he is. 90% of the time, he invites me out with him. So its not that he doesnt want to make plans with me, he just wants to make plans with everyone I guess... which is fine, but sometimes i do just want to do things with ONLY him. I spend alot of time with my girlfriends too... its just harder right now because alot of them have kids and are pregnant... and i like to party (i am only 22)... he really is a great person... I guess i am overreacting to this one incident... its just that i dont want this ONE incident to turn into a frequent event.

[Mun]

Hey you know him better than us. Look at his behavior as a whole and just let your instincts guide you.

 

There is no doubt about how he feels.. he is TELLING you that other, more important things could come up and he wants to keep his options open. So there is no doubt about where his priorities are.

 

I'd say if this becomes frequent then it's time to re-evaluate the relationship...but only YOU can know what kind of standards you have for how you want to be treated.

 

Your feelings will tell you if it's right or not

[FallenAngel00]

Thank-you very much for your advice... It is very appreciated...from everyone.

 

Thinking about the whole situation has really got me realizing alot about us... I love the guy tons, and i really do think he feels the same way. He really is a good guy to me... we allhave our moments i guess!

[Mun]

Just one last thing. I'll give him a break.

 

He may love you and all but not be ready for the committment( and demands) of the relationship. This says nothing about your worth, just that he is not ready.

 

Best of luck to you. Let us know how it goes

[DN]

I think you may be right that you have over-reacted a tad about this. It's understandable and it is actually good that you have posted about it on here because the negative reactions that you got about him made you realise that maybe he isn't that bad after all.

 

Perspective is key and sometimes it takes other people trashing our significant others to make us appreciate their good points.

[EvaGina]

I would be really, really angry

 

My ex did the same kind of thing to me once, I absolutely spat the dummy.

 

Imo, its disrespectfull.

 

Its different if he says "we are going on a boys weekend in a few weeks, can we go away after that?" but spur of the moment "my money is good enough for them but not for you" is insulting.

[Captain34]

if he is a college student, then i would guess his finances are a concern. plus, you need time with the fellas now and again. i would not refer to these as downfalls...

 

my question is this: if you want to go on a weekend with him so badly, why dont you plan it, keep it cheap, and split the cost? im sure if you did that you could make it happen. rather, i think you are thinking negatively and being judgmental. it seems to me you are setting a double standard - getting angry with him for not putting together what you want, when you spend your time judging him when you could be making plans for the both of you.

 

id bet that after a fun weekend he would get the drift that its his turn to step it up and make something happen - especially if you show what you are looking for to have fun does not have to dig into his budget. it does seem like he could be a bit more romantic, but, to be honest, it can make a big difference when a woman gets the wheels turning...