Self Improvement - what traits do women find appealing?

[shy2cool]

Intelligent? Well cultured?

[annie24]

^^^ both of those. kind, responsible, no addictions... other things I look for, does he have goals? is he reliable? does he care about me? is he polite?

[JustaGirl31]

Sense of humor and a warm heart

[Batya33]

Intelligent - emotionally, socially/common sense and academically, a sense of humor compatible with mine, reasonably at ease/enjoys most social situations, ambitious, hard working/strong work ethic, high moral values, reasonably confident and independent, good manners both with me and strangers he interacts with, colleagues, staff, etc., close to his family and family oriented, well read, enjoys theater and other performing and visual arts, in decent shape/takes good care of himself, passionate about something, enjoys monogamy and being part of a couple in general (and specifically if we start dating), enjoys sex and is compatible with me as far as its role/place in a healthy relationship, has at least a few very close friends and also other friends/acquaintances - is generally well liked and well respected.

[Cyprian]

You girls like honor, integrity, loyalty, honesty?

[annie24]

ummm.... yeah!!!!

[Batya33]

Not a "girl" but yes, and when I became a woman those traits were even more important. I was asked by a male acquaintance why I declined a second date with Mr. Wealthy (who was also fun to be around, easy on the eyes). It was simple. He achieved his wealth in what seemed to me to be darn close to a pyramid scheme and there was no way I wanted anything to do with it (and "wealth" never was on my "list" anyway).

[sddeaston]

Intelligent - emotionally, socially/common sense and academically, a sense of humor compatible with mine, reasonably at ease/enjoys most social situations, ambitious, hard working/strong work ethic, high moral values, reasonably confident and independent, good manners both with me and strangers he interacts with, colleagues, staff, etc., close to his family and family oriented, well read, enjoys theater and other performing and visual arts, in decent shape/takes good care of himself, passionate about something, enjoys monogamy and being part of a couple in general (and specifically if we start dating), enjoys sex and is compatible with me as far as its role/place in a healthy relationship, has at least a few very close friends and also other friends/acquaintances - is generally well liked and well respected.

 

This is quite the list.

[Batya33]

Yes, it is a long list. I ask for only what I can offer and most of the qualities are fairly typical in good people - I don't ask for perfection - I am far from perfect -- and I don't ask for "gorgeous" or "rich" or "famous." My boyfriend now has all the qualities on my list as did my ex-boyfriend and several other men I've dated/been involved with more than just casually. Most of my friends do, too (other than the qualities particular to romantic relationships - don't know, wouldn't want to know ;-)

[Hope75]

Honest, Respects himself and others, Intelligent but not full of himself, considerate, loves his family/friends, loyal, sense of humor/not too uptight, has self-integrity, kindness.... I could probably go on but I guess those are some at the top of the list!

[Locke2121]

How does confidence rate?

[Batya33]

Very high for me.

[Hope75]

How does confidence rate?

 

I like a guy who's confident, but not full of himself, there's definitely a distinct difference.

[isisastaria]

Just a sweetness and authenticity. Gentleness and respect. non-judgemental.

[charley]

^^^ both of those. kind, responsible, no addictions... other things I look for, does he have goals? is he reliable? does he care about me? is he polite?

 

Ah, the goals and reliable things Annie mentioned above. I think self improvement itself is attractive. Just the fact that a person has goals and is trying to improve is reason enough to respect them, and thereforeeee, I think that's attractive. The other qualities are good too, but those two are the ones that stand out to me above the others.

[Aurian]

For me when I started out, I just wanted intelligence and a sense of humour. My not-so-lovely-ex ensured that my new list of desires is a bit more concrete.

 

I am 27 so I am looking more for a life partner rather than a fling, so my responses are geared towards that.

 

- Intelligence (I don't want to feel like I have to dumb down, I want someone I can talk to and debate/discuss things with)

 

- Humour (making me laugh is a turn on, and people with a sense of humour are usually better at shrugging off some of the pitfalls in life)

 

- Career - He doesn't have to be rich, just have his life in order and have a job that supports him and is going somewhere. My ex spent most of our time together on welfare and didn't do much to get his butt off it (this job/boss/schedule/coworkers suck!!!). I don't want to be supporting or waiting around for someone anymore.

 

- Shares my hobbies and interests, the big two that are shareable are hockey and video games. Its nice to be able to DO things together and have a good time. He doesn't have to share ALL of them and I don't have to share all of his but we can explore each others' interests and expand our world a bit too. Some things will remain mine or his, I know, but some compatibility is needed.

 

- Kindness, generosity, no anger issues (yeah, not going there again). I also more on the alert for a guy who acts in a good way instead of just acting good once in awhile and having a lot of empty sweet words (talk is cheap!).

 

- Basic compatibility. Do we agree on issues like kids, politics, morality, etc? If not can we respect the other's position?

 

- Oh and just for the shallow side... I like someone tall with a bit of muscle

[shy2cool]

Um.. ok

 

Intelligence - I like to read up on things that interest me, and try to keep up to date with world issues/sport. I don't watch much TV, so can't discuss that.

 

Humour - Kinda sarcastic, very easy going, so don't get offended easily

 

Career - I'm going back to do a postgrad degree at uni to further my career prospects

 

Hobbies / Interests - Hmm... need to work on this... I like playing old video games, and have a keen interest in cars.

 

Nice / Kind - I am mostly, but will speak up when I feel that I need to.

 

Compatibility - N/A, depends on the individual

 

Am I a decent enough person??

 

I'm asking because I went to an internet meetup yesterday and all the talked about was TV shows, and I had no idea, and couldn't say anything.

[Altruist]

...- Oh and just for the shallow side... I like someone tall with a bit of muscle ...

 

Cool. Any other ladies who like height and muscle?

[FortunateOne]

Prioritization Sequence

 

#1. Spirituality - We all need to believe in an all encompassing diety or force.

 

#2. Authenticity - To be true to one's self is to be true to the world.

 

#3. Family - How we treat our loved ones is how we treat the world.

 

#4. Character - We must live by a disciplined set of moral values.

 

#5. Ambition - To get what we deserve we must tenaciously want it.

 

#6. Intelligence - We must strive to always learn and process everything in life.

 

#7. Humility - We're all the same; no better and no worse, just human.

 

#8. Appearance - A healthy body leads to a positively healthy attitude in life

 

#9. Personality - Take great joy in how we serve our positive habits to others

 

#10. Creativity - To lovingly apply outside the norm caring actions to all

Confidence is the all inclusive thorough application of these traits. Imagine? No, live it.

[HarleyHunny]

Integrity is #1 for me.

[Aurian]

 

I'm asking because I went to an internet meetup yesterday and all the talked about was TV shows, and I had no idea, and couldn't say anything.

 

Well, TV show conversation is like the equivalent of talking about the weather. A lot of people watch TV so its a safe shallow topic. It doesn't make you a bad person or anything if you don't watch TV (heck, I don't watch a lot either, a lot of the shows are crap).

 

If you don't know the show, you can participate by saying "wow that sounds interesting, tell me a bit more!" or "what did you think of that then?" You can get the other person to talk a bit more about the show and what they think about the theme of it.

[shy2cool]

Yeah, but it was a group meetup, and one or two of the people were completely dominant in the conversation.

 

BTW - no one wants to critique my post?

[scotty77]

I don't think there are set guidelines as to what women prefer in a man,people are different.

[Aurian]

Yeah, but it was a group meetup, and one or two of the people were completely dominant in the conversation.

 

BTW - no one wants to critique my post?

 

Well, your post sounds pretty good to me, no big problems. Every woman wants something a bit different, but I don't see anything that would turnoff the majority or anything!

 

The only critique I have is that you seem to be down on yourself often. If you can work on your self-esteem, it would make you seem more attactive to others because you'd be happier and more confident.

 

My self-esteem was rock bottom a few years ago. I always put myself down and felt like I had very little to offer. I had some counselling (and some major life events that showed me that I was stronger than I thought I was) and I feel very good about myself now.

 

Physically, I looked better back then (I'm a bit on the heavy side now), but I get MORE admiring looks from the opposite sex now because I smile more, walk with my shoulders back and don't look depressed.

[shy2cool]

I'm only down on the internet because that's how I feel inside. In the real world, I can feel happy around others. I'm still a bit too shy to smile at all girls though.