need advice

[cheatedon]

So tonight may be the worst night of my life, or so it feels like it. My boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago, but this weekend started talking again, we slept together both days, and he said he wanted to work on us, and said he loved me. Then sunday night i call him and he is with another girl at his house, clearly she stayed over because it was 2am. Then yesterday and today the same thing, hes with another girl. I called him tonight crying and upset, and as hes sitting infront of another girl at his house, he says im single and can do and hang out with whomever I please. You can to, go date, and have fun. I asked what about the weekend? what about working on us? He didn't say anything, just said he was having fun and I should do the same. That was at 6 this evening and thats the last ive spoke to him. I told him to never tell me he loved me again, b/c clearly he didn't mean it. If he did why would he do this to me, why would he lie about working on us?

[Iggy5129]

he's a jerk. he wants to have his cake and eat it too. I have been in this situation before, best thing to do is not talk to him and try to move on. good luck!

[cheatedon]

I want to start NC as of well 6, i haven't texted or called no matter how mad and upset I am. He made me feel like craip, made me look stupid, and acted like he was so much better then me. I dont deserve this, I didn't do anything but believe him. Anyone have any advice on how to keep NC, and not let your mind play games on you. Like I dont want to talk to him now, but by morning my mind starts missing the good times, and so on.

[EvaGina]

Sweetheart, he used you.

You might miss the good times, but he is in no way worth your tears.

You will have better times with REAL feelings behind them with someone who really cares about you, not some low-life bloodsucker who thinks with his pants.

 

He says you can date, I swear if you find somone else he will get back in the picture and try to get you back.

DONT FALL FOR IT!!!

 

You dont need manipulative prats who will use you and throw you away.

Feel sorry for the girl who is with him, she has no idea what he has planned for her (even tho if she has a brain and heard your conversation, she would be out of there in a flash)

 

Dont call him, you just make yourself look like the stalker ex... I regret calling my ex, and its been 4 years since it happened

 

Good luck sweetheart

[HurleyBabe6917]

Punch him in the face.

Just kidding.

He's a jerk.

I wouldn't pay any attention to him.

He doesn't deserve your attention.

[cheatedon]

Thanks guys, I know if I call Im just letting him know that he can walk all over me and im still there. He was so hateful, and mean, when just last night he was telling me how he loved me, and wanted to work on us, b/c it was just to hard to be without me. Then this today, not to mention sunday night and then yesterday evening. I found out hes dating two other girls, atleast thats what he told me. I need to move past this...he will never be faithful to anyone, he hasn't ever, and that should have been a huge warning sign to me. I just wish I could forward to month from now, skip all this pain, and just be proud that I made it through a month. I look forward to the day I can be happy again. I never would have thought he would have said the things he did tonight. He said I never ask what your doing, or who you are with. He said i can do whatever I want, and hang out with whomever I want. He said are we done with this argument for tonight, I said no, we done with this forever. Now I just need to take control and stick to what Ive said!!!

[EvaGina]

thats the spirit!!!

Good luck button

[cheatedon]

Thanks, its so tough right now. I talk a good game, but im so upset that he played me for an idiot, and in his mind im the bad person b/c I called and got mad that he was with someone else. He doesn't think I have that right b/c we aren't together, but I thought different after the weekend.

[EvaGina]

Oh, he knows you have the right to be angry, he just doesnt care.

[cheatedon]

yeah your right, he doesn't care. When i told him tonight to never tell me he loved me again...he said "Ok and I will remember you said that." Why does it matter, b/c clearly he doesn't care about me, not to do this to me. I know in my heart everything he said was nothing more then a mind game. Hes playing two girls right now, and I got caught up in it, b/c I believed what he was saying. I know I will be better off, and be happier, and not have to worry anymore. It just sucks imagining him with someone else, but then again regardless if we were together or not, he was still with someone else behind my back. So i guess either way its no different.

[EvaGina]

Most of us get sucked in by a player at least once... if your lucky (or smart) this will be the last time

[cheatedon]

Im just happy and proud that I haven't called or texted since we talked around 6. Im just so hurt and dont understand why he can be happy and having fun, even after putting me through this pain. He doesn't care, its like hes so cold hearted, that he can hang up the phone and move on to this other girl. Just hurts, feel like I wasted 2 years of my life.

[EvaGina]

Hey, we all feel like that at some point

You learn from this and you didnt waste anything

 

he IS cold hearted, but its not becuase you arent good enough, its becuase hes a pig

[cheatedon]

Thanks guys so much, I know I didn't do anything wrong, except care way way to much for this guy. 2 years gone, but im young i have a lifetime ahead of me. Its going to be tough, but I HAVE to make it through. He will never know im hurting or upset, for all he knows im ok, and ive moved on!

[Rabican]

Do yourself a favor, and NEVER talk to him again. IF he calls, dont even give him the satisfaction of swearing at him. Just say: good bye, and hang up the phone.

[cheatedon]

i failed, i guess b/c i wanted reasoning, but why did i think texting him would give me reasoning. I texted him saying "you have hurt me so much" "just tell me why you let friday and saturday happen." "I pray that one day you understand...I hope these other girls are worth it." Yeah I texted 3 times, with no response. I hate him so much. I promised myself at midnight that I would make this day one and never speak to him again. Hes so horrible to me, one day he loves me, and the next this. Im so hurt..this is rough

[Day_Walker]

Well you made the mistake of assuming that he meant some kind of exclusivity. Working on a relationship doesnt mean getting back together it is the initial stages. You both are still single and can do whatever.

[cheatedon]

yeah i guess...either way clearly I thought different. He knew that, I just have to move on.

[EvaGina]

Keep strong sweetheart

Just think, if you are going to text him, do you really want him to laugh at you?

Cos he will, and there is nothing you can say that he wont laugh at.

 

Becuase he is a complete and utter low life.

[cheatedon]

Eva your right and thanks, anytime i think to contact him, i will imagining him laughing at me. I mean needless to say thats pretty much what he did tonight when I called. I sent the texts at 11 pm, so Im counting today at 3 am as day 1! I have to make this happen, i never deserved to be treated this way. Thanks so much for helping me put things in perspective.

[chocojay]

I knw hw u feel, im in that boat myself. I did however realise that no one has the right to take control of my life simply because they know they have my heart. Its a very selfish and cruel thng to do. I know that there is a man out there waiting to take beautiful care of u, and u are not there because you are still tied to this loser!

He does not deserve u and sweety, men will say they love you just to get in your pants. Unfortunatley we tend to believe them and thats our downfall.

Surround yourself with positive people and keep your mind busy and you'll hardly think about him, take a jog in the morning to clear your mind then get into a busy day...sooner or later you'll think less and less of him, till u think of him no more. He has alot of growing up to do and as long as u realise that the issue is with him and not you, he has a problem, not u. Be selfish, take care of yourself and make yourself happy, i knw its hard but in the end u'll feel lighter and happier. U deserve only the best, have spiritual guidance along the way, its a long painful, difficult journey u'll need a greater power when the going gets tough. Be strong, trust yourself, know your self worth and be realise that u are beautiful, intelligent and no man is worth losing yourself over.

Good luck! Go get em!

LOL

[cheatedon]

Thank you choco...its going to be so very tough. The hardest is imagining him with another girl, and also the fact the he can move on over night while i sit here and cry and be upset. Hes not spending one minute upset or hurt, hes busy spending time with new girls. Im taking it one day at a time. Heres to day 1, i have to make this happen. The longest him and I have had NC is a week. I dont deserve to hurt like this, I didn't do anything wrong, but I know in his mind he believes I did. Who can be so cold hearted, I would have never thought him, guess I was wrong! Im for sure going to be here a lot trying to get support and make it through the day. Its late and im still up b/c I cant sleep, just keep thinking about him. Wish I had a time machine to fwd to a month from now, I know it will be so much better then.

[chocojay]

once a cheat always a cheat and there is no way that these guys are about to change and that is something will remain and if you let him continue to hurt u its gonna be a long long painful life! I caught him over and over and he blames ME for snooping in his stuff! Calls me crzy and i need help! Cnt help bt look so i know. But reality is, thats not the kinda relationship you want for yourself. Im having a baby with him and i gotta be a whole woman to be a good mom. i dnt need his stress!

LOL

Lets go get em!

[cheatedon]

Wow are situation is A LOT alike....He blames me to! I know he is cheating and lying, yet he blames me for snooping. He denies hes seeing anyone, but I had clear cut evidence that he was. After every fight no matter what, he makes it my fault. Like right now, in his mind, Im the one at fault for the argument today. Thats how they justify what they are doing, they make our fault, so they can go on and feel like they did no wrong. Then we sit and question what we did wrong, and if your like me you even find yourself saying sorry. Its so sad, but Im going to hold strong, we both are, we have to! Your going to be a great mom, and he will have to be a dad, but he doesn't have to be your boyfriend. We deserve better, let the other girls have them, they will just cheat on them as well!

[cheatedon]

Wow and ive also like you been told i have "problems." That came about after I snooped and found out he was lying! Ive been called crazy to, and thats why he broke up with me. I dont have problems, i just have problems dealing with a liar and a cheat, but not anymore, the girls in his life now can deal with it!