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When the one you likes finds someone else..


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Hey guys,


I was here AGES ago talking abt this guy I really liked.. Well I liked him for 2 years - he gave me mixed messages, and then all of a sudden said "he wasn't ready for a relationship with anyone" when he finally caught on how much I liked him.. Okay so I dealt with it, I was over him.. a year passed.. but then at the weekend I saw him again and his new girlfriend.. It's like a blow to my ego...


I feel like 1) Loser when he didn't like me, 2) Loser because he found someone new before I even had one decent guy want to go out with me...


It's like I've lost the game.. it's all abt pride I think... It sucks and I'm so depressed!



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Aw, I'm sorry to hear this. I am in a similar situation although I am best friends with the guy and he tells me about a girl he is currently seeing. It is so hard to see him with other people coz I like him, but I have to get on with things. I've wasted far too much time waiting around for him. I now spend less time with him and much more with the girls and having fun!

Don't feel like a loser, just think how stupid he has been by missing an opportunity with you. You will find someone else miles better than him. Just concentrate on you for a while, enjoy yourself, have fun and just see where that takes you. A b/f will appear when you least expect it.


Good luck, Hk87

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There's nothing wrong with you. You are not a loser.


Something similar happened to me a long time ago.


Met this guy through a personal ad, really liked him, he didn't like me. 2 years later, a gal he met a short while after he dumped me (and subsequently married her) started working where I worked. About 1.5 years after she started working there, she caught him cheating on her. She learned, the hard way, that cheating was an issue in his previous relationships, too.


All of a sudden, it was a darn good thing he had no interest in me 5 years earlier. I witnessed their divorce from the sidelines and have remained friends with her. He messed her up real good both mentally and financially. It took her YEARS to dig herself out of the financial mess he left. Nearly 10 years post-divorce, she is STILL dealing with the emotional repurcussions of her marriage to him.


I got spared all that because he didn't feel any "chemistry" with me, thank God.


There was never anything wrong with me in that situation...and I'm confident that there's nothing wrong with you, either.

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Hey, you're like me!

I would feel the same way, and plus that I would be sooo mean that I would daydream his gf cheating him with his best friend lol

What can you do! Ego is a funny thing.


This is what would help me - I would tell to myself (not to anyboady else): "I really think he's a looser, why do I wanted that guy who preferred her over me, I am smarter, better looking..." and than I would go to a hairdresser for a new look or get a perfect manicure

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You're definitely NOT a loser by any means (though you may feel otherwise). In my attempt to be optimistic, I like to think there is reason behind why we aren't with the people we like/care about. Perhaps its because personalities clash or we don't share the same perspective in life necessary in a relationship. I also think if I truly cared about them, I'd want them to be happy and if its with someone else, then it would be selfish on my part to want them to be with me instead. Of course, none of this lessons the pain or the ego bruising so be nice to yourself in the meantime!!

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Don't worry Ammy, it happens to the best of us.


Although I broke up with my last gf, when I first saw her with her new boyfriend I was completely devastated. It took me a good month and a half to really come to terms with the whole situation.


I don't know if I'll ever get over it completely because I find the story of first loves just so damn tragic and mine applies as well. There'll always be a piece there that wonders why it turned out the way it did, but I agree completely with somebloke.


In the words of Semisonic's 90s classic, "Every new beginning comes after some other beginning's end."

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