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confused_male_32

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  1. confused_male_32
    thanks! I really like this girl and would definitely like to have kids with her. It's upto her though. I asked her today and she said she feels the same way about me.
  2. confused_male_32
    I just started seeing this girl and we had sex for the first time. It wasn't the best but it was good. I used a condom but while we had sex but I had a strong desire to cum inside her without any protection on so that she could feel my sperms in her. Though, I would never do it without her consent, I can't get this desire out of my head. Is this normal? I have never felt like this with any other girl and in fact was always worried about accidental pregnancy. With her I somehow feel different and I am so attracted to her. How do I bring up this topic with her?
  3. confused_male_32
    It's a blessing to have a wonderful family such as yours and it would be a shame to see it breakup. Counselling will only postpone the problem but will not really solve it. What you guys are missing in life is thrill!!! I don't know what you guys do for fun or on vacation but try some stuff outdoors. Get her involved in stuff which requires some physical exertion and has an element of danger to it. Go to Hawaii and try surfing, don't just lay on the beach all day and drink umbrella drinks. Go to Chile in the summer and ski. I know these are crazy things to do, but fear is an awesome aphrodisiac. She needs to see you as a strong alpha-male in her life and not just a nice guy who takes care of the kids. Imagine going down a steep ski slope where you think you will die every second but by some miracle you make it (most people are scared but rarely anything happens). You feel the adrenaline rush, endorphins bursting in your brains. Bring her back to the lodge, rip her clothes and make love to her. Trust me on this, you would have not only saved your marriage but learnt something about yourself as well.
  4. confused_male_32
    I was actually planning to wait till friday and ask her out on saturday night. But, I think now friday may be too long of a wait
  5. confused_male_32
    Thanks guys! I will txt her tomorrow.
  6. confused_male_32
    she said as we parted that night that she had an awesome time. The thing is that she doesn't say much, French Canadian (just starting to pick up english), so it's hard sometimes to read her. She is also very shy and doesn't initiate contact unless I do. Also, she is just out of a five year relationship and very vulnerable. I don't want to crowd her personal space, which I think she needs right now. I will however take the advice you guys are giving me very seriously.
  7. confused_male_32
    So, I just start seeing someone and I spent an awesome evening with her, she likes me a lot and we kissed. After that we parted ways and went home. I want to know if short term NC, meaning no e-mail of phone for a few days after the date an ok to do? I don't want to appear needy. say she doesn't mail or call me in the next few days, is that a bad thing? I am planning to wait a week before giving her a call
  8. confused_male_32
    Thanks! nice post
  9. confused_male_32
    Thanks dude! nice post. Allow me to explain myself: I do want to go deeper. Ok! the question is how?!!! I feel at this point I don't want to sequester all her time with me on the couch. I think this will remind her of her ex- all the time. Instead, my plan is to take her out to dancing, partying so that she doesn't have think about her ex- all the time. I can hope that way she sees me not as a reflection of her past relationship but as someone who is different. b.t.w did I mention that she is a pro level shredder on a snowboard. I have seen her at her happiest when she is ripping it up in the snowpark.
  10. confused_male_32
    Not helping one bit dude!! I just wanna know the best possible moves for me for this friday night not my next 20 year plan with her. I want her to go out with me and have some fun!! Her sitting at home and moping and "thinking things through" as you put it is not gonna help. I much rather express my feelings to her clearly and take my chance than play the waiting game wondering "I coulda, shoulda, woulda......". I am trying to be her lover not her buddy or her shrink.
  11. confused_male_32
  12. confused_male_32
    Ok! I have seeing this girl a few times now. She is just out of a five year relationship (been three months now). We went out for dinner on Valentine'd day and then she came back to me place. We became cozy on the couch and I held her in my arms and kissed her. Now! here is the thing....she doesn't mind if I hug her and kiss her but she never initiates anything on her own. She told me that she likes me a lot but she was hurt pretty bad after the breakup and wants to take things slow. We are going out again on friday night and snowboarding on sat. My question is, what should be my next move? ANSWERS I AM NOT LOOKING FOR: (1) be patient and take things slow. (I know this already) (2) She doesn't really like you but you are like a new dress she is trying on anyway (3) You have no chance with her so give it up. (I have been told that before by people on this forum and I plain don't believe it). (4) Get her drunk and have sex with her. (5) She is about to dump you in the friend zone so be careful. If there are people out there who have been either in my situation or her situation, please let me know what you guys did and how you dealt with the situation.
  13. confused_male_32
    just got an e-mail from from her and she accepted my dinner proposal. Actually, I am feeling more nervous than ever.
  14. confused_male_32
    Long story short, I have gone out with this girl a few times. We are both pro-shredders on snowboards and that's how we met. Went out for dinner dates, kissed for a bit ! but havn't had sex yet. With Valentine's day coming up, I e-mail her yesterday asking her if she would go out with me for dinner on Valentine's day. So far, no response from her. She usually writes back in a few hours. She is just out of a five year relationship and she is still a bit hurt about it. I can't figure out if she is really into me. I know I should be patient and what not......but how do you deal with a situation like this. Please let me know if anyone has faced similar situation and how they dealt with it.
  15. confused_male_32
    I think you may be right about that. We have been out together a total of six times in four weeks. I kissed her for the first time when we went snowboarding for the first time together in the second week and that was our third time out together. The last time we went out, we got dinner and we came back to her place. I tried to make out with her and after a really brief period of kissing, she withdrew and said "it's been a while and she is not very good at this". I held her in my arms and she seemed comfortable. Shortly after,I left and we have had e-mail contact after that. Though, we plan to go snowboarding next week.
  16. confused_male_32
    I just started dating this girl. We both love snowboarding and very passionate about the sport and that's how we met. We been out snowboarding few times and I have taken her out on a couple of dinner dates. I kissed her on her lips couple of times but not quite "making out". She didn't seem to mind it and actually like it quite a bit. Everytime I try to kiss her for real, she seems to shy and just holds me tight and burys her face in my neck. Her boyfriend broke up with her couple of months back after a five year relationship and she seems still hurt about it, although she won't talk about it. I really like this girl and don't want to lose her by being hasty. At the same time, I don't want to enter the "friend zone" with her. With Valentine's day coming up, I want to do something for her to let her know that I am attracted to her and not just her snowboarding buddy. please help
  17. confused_male_32
    I wiped out real bad on first day at snowboarding, and as I lay on the ground thinking, for a second.....I thought that I should quit. My snowboarding instructor told me that the worst part was over and if I choose not to go out again, I probably never will snowboard for the rest of my life and keep wondering "I coulda, shoulda, woulda...." A little secret: First time on a gnarly slope or wave, I was dead scared. However, the fear of a wasted opportunity was even stronger so I went anyway. Next time you go on a mountain slope and think "oh God! I can't....." just ask yourself "but what if I could.......what then". Think of me and my post....hey If I can, I am sure you can too.
  18. confused_male_32
    Thanks Annie! for the nice compliment and the stuff you said . I have been to Costa Rica (Tamarindo) sometime back myself and had a pretty wild time. where did you go? The most memorable were the hikes through the rain forest and the beaches. I haven't been to New Zealand yet but sometime soon I hope. Have you been to Hawaii? I have been there six times and can't get enough of it. Your advise is well taken, I do take precautions while riding the mountain or the waves. Wow! you are an adventure seeker.....maybe in some other life we will meet in person.......you are my kind of girl. I don't know if you have surfed but isn't it the best feeling in the whole world? Have you watched the movie "Point Break"? That movie had a great influence on my life. Like Bodhi (Patrick Swayze) says in the movie "its not tragic to die doing what you love". if you ever feel like chatting send me msg... be cool and keep it real
  19. confused_male_32
    After my breakup last year, I was really down for a while (as you can well imagine). I took a trip with some friends last year to Colorado and just out of blue started snowboarding. After the second day of snowboarding ( I have never snowboarded before), something clicked in my head.........maybe it was the pure thrill................the hard to swallow feeling that you get in your throat everytime you think of your ex- was gone...........like a black cloud lifted. I felt truly happy for the first time in a long time. Ever since then, I have turned into a extreme sport maniac. I took a trip to Bali and surfed on some waves "too dangerous" for beginners. I have been riding a longboard skateboard on some slopes and emulating surf moves ever since I got back. I just booked a trip to snowboard on a mountain called Auli valley in the Himalayas. I am getting more and more absorbed in the world of extreme board riding. I just love the thrill and the pure joy of doing it and women seem to like it when I tell stories and hand out their numbers. I don't even think about my ex- these days. All I can think of is where I am gonna go for my next ride. Even the women I meet and get numbers from, I never call them...............somehow they don't interest me anymore. I am starting to question the basic reason for why I am doing it in the first place. I am absolutely fearless like nothing can stop me. Is this a good thing or bad? should I see a therapist? can anyone offer any advise?
  20. confused_male_32
    I had to face the same issue with my ex-girlfriend when I got into Harvard many years back. When I told her eventually, she advised me to do what was best for me....so we I ended up going to Harvard. For the first year or so we kept in touch and saw each other as often as we could. Eventually, the long distance got to us both and we broke up. For many years after that we dated other people and one day after I got a job and moved to NYC, I decided to look her up and give her a call....guess what! she was living in NYC too so we met for coffee...then a dinner and a few drinks...and before we knew..we were falling in love again. We fell in love for the second time all over again and it was wonderful...Ofcourse such a nice thing was not meant last..However! my point is that life always gives you a second chance when you least expect it. Here is my advice to you. (a) Don't give up your placement at MIT. Its a wonderful place and Cambridge is a wonderful city. (b) If you are going to breakup, make it a clean one. Live life date other people and enjoy. (3) Don't lose contact completely with your bf. Stay in touch over myspace (4) Just believe that someday your and his path will cross once more. Believe me when I tell you that with time your outlook, maturity, thinking etc. will change and so will his. Don't think of this as a breakup but rather a s a detour and you will enjoy falling in love with him all over again. Hope this helps. "All roads lead to the great path, many cross along the way- old zen teaching"
  21. confused_male_32
    Hang in there and be strong! I have known people getting back together even after three years from the time of breakup. She is still quite young and under a lot of stress. Give her atleast a year to sort things out. Definitely send her a b'day wish but keep it non-romantic if possible. Romance is implied in your case. Try to send her something that will get her thinking about you. Good luck
  22. confused_male_32
    Usually when women "fall out of love" they almost immidiately start seeing someone else to fill up the void. Is there a third party involved in your case? note: she may not revealed that to you yet.
  23. confused_male_32
    Hi, its me again. I am glad to hear that you are feeling stronger. I doubt there is any experience in this world that prepares you for breakups. I know from my personal experience that everytime I broke up something inside me changed and my whole personality was modified. Here is what happened with me. I broke up with my ex- gf just two months back and the pain has been too much to bear. I wake up every so early morning with a sharp pain in my heart and I can't go back to sleep. I can't eat, sleep or do anything meaningful. I feel like just curling up and dying. After breaking up it took her only four days to find someone new. We have been dating for four years and we just planned to move into our new apt. and just a month before it happens, she breaks up with me. We planned to buy a new car, take a vacation in the Caribbean this winter and get a dog. 15 days after meeting this new person, she decided to move in with him. Apparently they are taking a vacation in the Caribbeans and buying a new car. Just thought of them doing this kills me. I feel like a piece of napkin used and thrown away. None of her plans have changed, she just replaced me with someone else. I don't know what to do......I feel so lost. I feel like my soul just died and I can never love anyone again. When I read your posts, I realized that there are people out there hurt just as bad or even more and my heart reached out to you immidiately. My problems are nothing compared to what you are facing. You are so strong and such a nice person. I think you will meet someone nice who will love you so much all the pain will melt away. I try to live one day at a time and with each day it gets slightly better. I will pm you my e-mail address and I would love to stay in touch. take care and lots of luv confused_male_32
  24. confused_male_32
    I guess now you understand why my handle is confused_male. I feel so terrible about what happened to you. Like in every relationship, what hurts the most are the little details about the things that you once did with your ex-. I guess what you are asking is "how can he change this much?". Maybe in case of this guy, your success as a physician always made him feel a little bit jealous on the inside. I have come to realize that grief from a breakup must run its course. There is nothing once can do to bypass that. However, you may be able to lessen the pain by surrounding yourself with people who care for you. On this site, everybody is a stranger, but there is something common among all of us; we have all been hurt in some way at some point in our lives. Our stories are not that different from one another. You never talk about your friends much. I am sure that before this guy you must have had a very rich social life. From yours posts, we know more about your ex- that we know about you. It would be nice to get to know you as well. We would really like to help in anyway we can and see you through this dark times. I know and I feel very strongly that your ex- will come back to you very very soon and tell you how sorry he is and how much he loves you. It happens in every breakup story. It will be up to you to decide what you would do at that point. ...............The truth is that there is no "right decision". There is ony the decision that seems right at that point. If we could all see the future, we would not be here in the first place. Do what your heart thinks is right and it will be. Let me know if I can help in anyway to make you feel better
  25. confused_male_32
    that's not a problem! this is why we are here. Please vent as much as much as you feel like. Remember that in a storm a tree falls but a reed bends and stands up again once the storm has passed. Be flexible and open to views of other people. I just had the worst night of my life....but I am guess that you are too consumed in your own grief to hear about it. Anyway, I am glad you had a chance to vent. lots of love Confused_male_32
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