Peter81 Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 After a first date how long is it best to leave it before texting her to arrange a second date? Is it ok to text or is ringing better? Link to comment
philosophia Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Put it this way - the longer, the better, but at least a couple days. Gives her time to miss you, makes you seem more like a busy, popular guy who has a lot of things going on in his life - which is the way it should be anyway. Calling is better. Use text to warm her up and eventually get her on the line - then ask her out. Link to comment
BetterKarma Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 I disagree. If you really like the girl then I would definitely call her the next day to tell her you had a wonderful time. You don't have to ask her for another date right away but keep the communications open. And as it approaches the weekend, ask her on a date again. Waiting for a few days to call her or to show any signs that you are still alive would be rude and gives the impression that you're playing games. Link to comment
philosophia Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 I disagree. If you really like the girl then I would definitely call her the next day to tell her you had a wonderful time. You don't have to ask her for another date right away but keep the communications open. And as it approaches the weekend, ask her on a date again. Waiting for a few days to call her or to show any signs that you are still alive would be rude and gives the impression that you're playing games. In an ideal world, nobody would play games, we'd call he day after a date, and everything would be much more simple. However, I have tried the direct approach and called the day after a date many times, in general I seem to have much better results when I leave it for at least a few days before reestablishing contact. Link to comment
BetterKarma Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Just out of curiosity, how old are you? Link to comment
Peter81 Posted January 31, 2007 Author Share Posted January 31, 2007 Just out of curiosity, how old are you? 25 2 answers with different opinions Link to comment
BetterKarma Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 lol...thanks for your answer Peter. I was actually asking philosophia. Because my answer can differ from his because of an age difference. Link to comment
AOX Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 I'd send a text message first saying something along the lines of "I had a really awesome time today/tonight" Go with the situation, if you feel they counter your feelings then I'd say it's safe to ask them out again. There really isn't a time limit. Some people like to wait it out, other's don't. I went on a first date Sunday, he asked me on a second date the next day. We're seeing a movie tonight. Link to comment
DN Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 If the girl is attracted to you and wants a second date the time you call is probably unimportant - so long as you don't leave it so long that it looks obvious you are using a 'tactic' rather than being genuine. Link to comment
MacGyverRI Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 A good date? call within 24 hrs.. Everyone should disable txt on their phones, it's so damm impersonal! If you can't call to actually converse w/ a person you have a problem. my .02 Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Don't mess around - everyone knows that if you leave it x amount of days, it's because you've read it on some dating advice site for men, and it really hacks women off!!! Personally, the guy I'm now seeing sent me a text after our first date straightaway, and then called the next evening to arrange another one. It's nice - and I'm still seeing him now. I don't get why people play games about playing hard to get, it drives me mad. I haven't got the time for that, I would just move on. Mind you, in response I am really nice back to the person I've dated if I like them - make it clear that I had a lovely time etc. I'm in my mid thirties, if you need an age range!!! (Although I have NEVER been a fan of men who don't call for ages - neither have any of my female friends. Seriously - you run the risk of her thinking you had an average time, and just moving on. Why waste your fabulous self on someone who is a bit tepid about seeing you again??!!) Link to comment
BetterKarma Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Maybe it's the age difference between me and philosophia but I would definitely expect contact from my date the next day if the date went well. If you don't contact her for days after, she's going to think you're not interested or playing games. In general, from all the people in my life (ages 24-45) you contact your date the next day and keep contact with that person. Doesn't have to be anything heavy, just a light chat to see how her day was going. Maintaining contact is the key, if you don't then she's going to think you're not interested. Like AOX said, I would text her to say that you had a wonderful time but definitely give her a call later on that night. Link to comment
Peter81 Posted January 31, 2007 Author Share Posted January 31, 2007 So texting 24 hours after to say I had a wonderful time and then calling 24 hours after that to arrange a second date (if the texts suggest it's ok!) won't come accross as desperate or make me look like I'm contacting her too often? Link to comment
BetterKarma Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 It really depends on how your date went. If you sense that both you had a great time, then you txt her the next day (~12 hrs later) and then call her that night. You don't have to ask her out again right away but maintain contact so she knows you're still interested. However, if you didn't feel much chemistry...well...why would you bother with a second date anyway? Link to comment
Kalika Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 If you think she had a great time, she'll be thrilled that you called her the next day. I don't know why all these stupid rules have been made up teling you when to call and all this crap.. Really, it's just stupid. Would you rather have someone who cares about you, or would you rather look cool and be alone? Link to comment
Aurian Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 If the girl is attracted to you and wants a second date the time you call is probably unimportant - so long as you don't leave it so long that it looks obvious you are using a 'tactic' rather than being genuine. I heartily second this. The second date doesn't have to be the next day, but its certainly good to ask her out sooner rather than later. I have never been offended by having a guy be keen on me, but I have been turned off by obvious games. Guy I am seeing now asked if I'd like to go out with him again while the first date was still going Link to comment
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