Lack of communication... right?

[maryale]

I'm going out with this guy and we like each other a lot. We're really comfortable with each other and we trust each other. Besides trust and liking each other, we're really sexually attracted to each other.

We've been going out for one month and well, we don't really talk about how much we like each other, or talk about our feelings. Sometimes, I really need to hear what he feels for me because I sometimes get the feeling he's just with me because of the sex. Lately, we barely communicate and talk about each other, we just make out and have sex, and sometimes I feel I annoyed him a lot but I don't know, sometimes I rather stay quiet and don't speak at all, and it makes me feel so empty and I get really annoyed and I just don't want to see him or talk to him and when this happens to me I just want to disappear and be with other people than with him.

One week ago, I told him things were strange and that I felt we annoyed each other a lot, and he told me he didn't feel annoyed when he was with me, so I decided to tell him I was kidding, even if I wasn't. Yesturday i told him I needed to tell him something, and it's about this, because I'm not enjoying it at all. I know I should talk to him and tell him what I'm feeling, but I don't know how. Help?

 

I like my boyfriend a lot, and I really want things to work out and I want to hear he likes me from his mouth and I also want his actions to show me what he feels.. but, in the other hand, I think a lot about my exboyfriend. I mean, I was the one that dumped my exboyfriend, so I don't know why I feel like this when it comes to my exboyfriend. When I dumped him, he decided complete No Contact between each other. We barely see each other anymore and we don't talk at all. I just get online, see him online and read his nicknames, that I think they're all referring to me because it's about hate. When we broke up, I broke his heart and since then, he says I destroyed his life. He still doesn't want to know anything about me and the last time we talked he told me he didn't want me to ask his friends about him, and that he wasn't going to ask my friends about me. I mean COMPLETE NO CONTACTING EACH OTHER!

I know I'm satisfied and happy with my boyfriend, but I feel I think a lot about my exboyfriend, I know he still loves me. He used to tell me he loved me every second and it was great, since he showed me he cared a lot about me. Now, I even constantly think I want to marry him in 10 years (but I doubt he wants to marry me), I mean, why do I feel like this about my exboyfriend now that I'm NOT with him and when I was with him he totally annoyed me?

[Batya33]

Are you concerned that you had sex with this new person too soon into the relationship and too soon since the time you ended things with your ex?

[Slightleejaded]

Hey there...

 

Having read and re-read your post, might I ask first how old all the participants in your dilemma are? Your current relationship sounds like it's based solely on sex, do the two of you do anything outside of making out and having sex? If not, get out now, it won't get better.

Sweetie...if you have so many doubts so soon into your relationship might you consider that it's just not meant to be? And if you can't stop thinking about your ex, is it fair to anyone involved to continue your current relationship?

It sounds like you might require some serious alone time, put everything into perspective and then decide what you want.

You have to put you first, and if your needs (communication) aren't being met, then why stay unhappy?

 

Just my opinion

Stay Safe

SlightleeJaded

[finewhine]

I think you're thinking about your ex boyfriend because he clearly loved you and told you so. You're on unsure footing with the new guy and wish he would be more expressive with his feelings.

 

Something stuck out to me - you said you see yourself with your ex in ten years. Why's this? May I ask how old you are?

[maryale]

Thank you. I'm 18, My boyfriend is 18 and my exboyfriend is 16. I mean my ex was two years younger than me, and that's why I see myself with him in 10 years, not now, because I think he's pretty young and immature right now, and probably he didn't even loved me, he might think he did, but probably he didn't even know what love is.

 

I mean, I think about my ex, but I can handle it, I think about him but I just wonder how are things going to end between us, since I usually had a great communication with him and I sometimes miss talk to him, that's all. Even if he comes back to me, I won't get back together with him because rigth now I just want to be his friend again, not his girlfriend. I just miss him sometimes. The conversations and stuff.

 

With my boyfriend, I know sex was really soon but unofficially we were seeing each other for about 6 months already, and decided to go out with him one month ago, in which we had sex the first time about 2 weeks ago. Besides the lack of telling each other our feelings, we're really opened with each other and we have a lot of things in common and we see each other everyday, and no we don't have sex all the time, just once a week, or twice? I mean, our relationship is good, we have a lot of fun together and we talk about stuipid stuff and all, I just want him to tell me what he feels for me more often. He had tell me what he feels but only once or twice, and tells me he doesn't say it so often because he think I'm gonna laugh at his face. The same happens to me, I fear I tell him all this and laughs at me.

[dude123]

Hey guess what your not alone. I’m a guy and just recently started going out with my new girlfriend. We also new each other before as friends and did hang out and did the usual. To be honest with you I would say that I am in the same boat as you except for the sex part because we did not have sex yet. The only thing that would separate our situations from each other is that basically my girlfriend is at college and in a different state. She is only an hour away so the drive is not so bad but that’s not the problem. The problem is basically that she doesn’t like to communicate this is the main problem that I am having with her. I mean this girl can’t even spend 5min during the day to give me a call or even text me frankly I am getting feed up with this because the only thing that she has told me is that she is just crazy busy with school and that she has no time but then again she dose have time to go and see her friends and such. To cut the store short this whole thing makes me feel like she just doesn’t want anything to do with me. I thought about this for hours while I am working and when I am alone. I need to talk to her but how can you talk to someone who maybe picks up the phone for and tells you that they will call you back and never do. I hate to just email her and say how I feel because that’ s just not right . What I would like doing is seeing her face to face and see what kind of response I would get from her but most likely that wont happen because she says she is so busy. My advice to you is to just talk to your boyfriend because I have an idea how you feel and it totally sucks. If you do get to see him often then just talk to him while the two of you are alone and see what his response will be to the whole thing if he cares enough for you he will understand were your coming from. Hope it all works out for you good luck Tom.