Why Do Girls Cheat???

[kolen8701]

I have a girl friend that i love so very much, i simply cant seem to tell enough how much i love and want her in my life, its even just an understatement to say all this, she is everything i ever wanted in my life.

 

Urm.. but one thing i fail to actually realise is that she will not stop cheating on me, why is this, and she will tell me she loves me so very much too and all that...

 

Can someone tell me what might be the problem why girls do cheat on guys that loves them so very much

 

 

Ps: sometimes she sound as if its Money thats making her do things she doesn't want to do... i dont get it.

[Dako]

She cheats because she's the wrong girl for you.

The right one won't cheat on you.

[RayKay]

Well, there are men whom cheat too.

 

And there are many men and women whom DON'T cheat.

 

Your girlfriend cheats because she is being selfish; and what she is doing is not love. It is not what she says that matters, but what she does...and cheating shows that it is not love.

 

She continues to do it though, because you stay with her.

 

I really suggest you move on, and leave her. And find someone whom loves you, and shows it. And that my friend will be MUCH more satisfying for you.

[shikashika]

its not girls its that girl... one that shouldn't be dating anyone if she is cheating on them

[RayKay]

P.S. When you say she is everything you ever wanted....you wanted someone whom would treat you so badly? Whom would abuse your trust and love?

 

And her doing it for "money" or other goods is called prostitution...

[doyathink]

She lacks respect for you I would guess. ppl who cheat dont respect their partner.

 

And...I would question her love for you as well. If she truly loved you she wouldn't cheat.

[ramsickle1369]

She cheats because she's the wrong girl for you.

The right one won't cheat on you.

 

That's soo true. She's not the right one for you. Something is missing in her life that's causing her to cheat. It isn't something YOU can give her. The best thing you can do is cut her loose, let her figure out what is best for her. If it's meant to be, she'll be back.

 

In the meantime, you need to increase your own self-confidence. The only way you can do that is SEPARATELY from her. As long as you are dating this girl, you will continue to suffer the emotional destruction cheating has on someone. You deserve respect!

[barbielovesmac]

She cheats because she's the wrong girl for you.

The right one won't cheat on you.

 

perfectly said! goes the other way around too.

[Backstroke03]

Agree with everything that is said here.

 

If she was the "one", this would not be an issue.

[CarnelianButterfly]

Not all girls cheat, just ones that don't respect the person their with. You shouldn't have to deal with that.

[CynicalGuitarist]

Homie... don't take that mess from her! I agree with the most part with what the others have said... you should just move on, leave her in the dust, and go find someone who won't cheat on you. I know it'll be rough to find someone like that, but the best relationships are never found overnight.

 

Regardless, I think you should leave this beeatch in the dust.

[Follow Me]

A cheating woman? Cheating is the worst thing one person can do to another. I got you covered. This deserves more than just a standard break up. I have experience in this arena. Listen close my friend:

 

1) Pick one day in the week when you both are free. Tell her you're going to spoil her. Light some candles, etc. Have great sex all day long. Then tell her you are taking her out to dinner. Tell her you got the bill and have her leave her phone and wallet at home. No phone = no distractions on your date and no wallet because you are paying. Pick the nicest and most expensive restaurant you can find. Make sure it is FAR from where she lives. I highly suggest a drive of one hour or more. When you get there order the most expensive thing on the menu, along with a good bottle of champagne. Tell her to do the same. Act like you are having a blast. Once all the food is gone and you are full, say you have to use the bathroom. Get out of her sight, and then get the hell out of there! Drive home in your car, smiling the whole way. Imagine how long she will sit there thinking how she can get away with cheating AND how she has you wrapped around her finger. After she finally catches on, she will be stuck with no phone and no money. No way to get home, and no way to pay the bill. This is the least she deserves for betraying you, right? For an added touch, maybe leave a note somewhere that she will find it saying "You should have thought about this when you were cheating on me! How does it feel?!?!"

 

2) Change your locks and your phone number. Make sure to get all of your hard valuables from her. Money and credit cards and the like. Let her keep all the lovey-dovey letters and crap as a constant reminder of what she lost.

 

3) Throw all her crap into the dumpster.

 

4) Meet a new girl who will not cheat on you. One that makes you happy.

[yeawutever]

She cheats because she doesn't love you nor cares about commitment, she's just plain selfish. There are many people that don't cheat than those that do, just don't say girls, in general, many fo them do not. As long as you let her be your doormat she will continue cheating. If you haven't throw her to the curb, do so now.

[happywithu]

not all girls cheat, same as not all guys cheat. its all about finding the ight person and settling down, i would never cheat the guy i am with now becase its happened to me and i know how much it hurts, i wouldnt want to cause that kind of pain to my man. she is obviously not as happy in this relationship as you are.

[kolen8701]

What i mean that she is the one i ever wanted doesn't mean i want her to treat me badly, i just want all the good things there is in a relationship and do you think it's possible for her to change, not that i still want to be with her, im just kinda asking is there is room for change??

 

Thanks alot for the shed of light into this for me, i really appreciate.

[ramsickle1369]

What i mean that she is the one i ever wanted doesn't mean i want her to treat me badly, i just want all the good things there is in a relationship and do you think it's possible for her to change, not that i still want to be with her, im just kinda asking is there is room for change??

 

Thanks alot for the shed of light into this for me, i really appreciate.

 

There's always a chance people "can" change given the right incentive. Unfortunatley, you will not be able to EVER trust her 100% and you DESERVE that respect and trust in a relationship.

 

Having been cheated on myself, it wasn't till the day we broke up that I really felt like I could let the pains and worries go. I know it sucks. You love her. It is painful and detrimental to attempt to end it with her b/c you DO love her so much. However, settling for less than you deserve is doing MORE damage to you than you can possibly know at this time. She's destroying you little by little and you won't even know it fully until you attempt a relationship with someone new and the insecurities and trust issues come out of nowhere...

 

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, it's devastating to say the least!

[caro33]

What i mean that she is the one i ever wanted doesn't mean i want her to treat me badly, i just want all the good things there is in a relationship and do you think it's possible for her to change, not that i still want to be with her, im just kinda asking is there is room for change??

 

Thanks alot for the shed of light into this for me, i really appreciate.

 

Thing is, you can't just pick out the good bits and hope to paper over the bad stuff.

 

The way you write, it sounds like she's cheated on you more than once. If that's true it's a pretty clear sign she's not ready or able to be who you need her to be. No, she will not change, not for you. Sorry.

 

As others have said, there are women out there who are better matched to you, and do not require you to turn a blind eye to betrayal. This is not a gender issue - cheaters come in both genders and all shapes and sizes.

 

I'm sorry for your pain kolen, it's never fun to go through this stuff.

[Rabican]

The only reason she would change is if you gave her a reason to. Right now you are giving her a reason not to change.

 

Ill use the analogy that I always use. A cheater, is like a dog that begs at the dinner table. You look at the dog, and say 'no begging' but you toss a scrap of food the dogs way. THe dog hears no begging, but still gets the food. Your girl knows you dont want her to cheat, but you keep taking her back, keep letting it happen, keep putting up with it. Positive reinforcement of her bad behavior.

So does the dog learn not to beg by being given food over and over?

Or does the dog learn not to beg by getting smacked on the butt, and scolded with a stern NO BEGGING! and then led out of the room?

 

You have a choice to make. Put up with her behavior, and realize that it wont change. Why should she change? She has her cake (you) and she gets to eat it too (him).

 

Want her to change, tell her its over. Tell her you are fed up with her lying, cheating, ways and you are done. IF she is willing to bend over backwards to make things right then you can consider a second chance but otherwise walk away.

[CallingAllAngels]

As someone who was just cheated on and not a cheater, I don't know why people cheat. I DO agree with Rabin...we (as the people being cheated on) perhaps "see the signs" and ignore them or, keep taking them back?

 

No excuses for cheating, male or female.

 

So sorry for your hurt....

 

Been there and doin' it now...

 

Allie

[CallingAllAngels]

What a great analogy...thank you...it's helping me in my own situation...I wanted to believe what I wanted to believe. You are right...by allowing the cheating/ignoring or turning a blind eye to bad behavior just enforces it.

 

You are much wiser than your 26 years!

 

Thanks,

Allie

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

She doesn't love you or respect you, thats why she cheats!

 

Not all girls or guys do this, but the ones who do are simply not worth being with, unless you just want sex (protected, I hope, given the STDs she may have picked up).

 

I've cheated much more than the average Joe/Josephine and it was because

 

a) I was bored

b) I enjoy getting people to fall for me

c) It gave me something to work on

d) I like the shock of the new

e) It prevented me having to get really emotionally intimate with anyone

[ramsickle1369]

People cheat because something is missing. I heard in my support group last night that sometimes, it's an unattainable ideal. But other times, as in my case, it was a serious lack of attention from my husband that made me THINK about cheating. I never actually did, but I'm fairly certain had the opportunity risen, I would have. Thank GOD I didn't cross that line. I'd never be able to forgive myself.

 

Sometimes, people are just young and stupid--seeking experiences they are afraid they'll miss out on.

 

In any case, this person should NOT commit to anyone. They are probably too weak and insecure to let one go w/o the other already hooked.

[Rabican]

 

You are much wiser than your 26 years!

 

Thanks,

Allie

 

 

LOL, Glad someone thinks so!

 

Also glad to be of service.

[cantexplain]

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

 

~ Albert Einstein

[Northalius]

Good analogy Rab. It reminds me of the The Dog Whisperer, a show on The National Geographic channel. He 'trains' people not to pet their dog when they're scared, since this just reinforces the negative energy they're feeling, not comfort them.

 

It's the same reasoning, basically.

 

The more slack you give someone, the more reason you give them to further take advantage of you.

 

Stop imagining her to be what she in fact isn't! It was all most likely just an act to draw you in. There're many people out there that're very deceitful and slick like this; they know it's the easiest way for them to get what they want... their way. And, you're just giving it to them!

 

Good memories can be like poisonous arrows to your mind. They cloud right judgement and logic. You must let righteous anger and self-respect overcome these thoughts. All these thoughts do is hurt you, and keep you in the past longer. Stand up for yourself in your mind, put your foot down, and move on! Find someone that'll truly respect you! Then you'll see how much your past relationship with this cheater was just garbage compared to your new one!