Insidious1 Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Mood Today: Disbelief at times (can't believe its really over); hurt; sorta like all this is a bad dream..... Problem is... lol, i'm awake! I am ok though. About to go to work..... I hate work. That always puts me a little down and i kno i won;t make any money. But oh well.... Day 3 almost over. I miss and love her..... but must let her and "us" go. Thanks for being there for me everyone. Oh and congrats on reaching your goal Mac and Super.... Good luck with everything... Link to comment
Puckdog27 Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Mood Today: Disbelief at times (can't believe its really over); hurt; sorta like all this is a bad dream..... Problem is... lol, i'm awake! I am ok though. About to go to work..... I hate work. That always puts me a little down and i kno i won;t make any money. But oh well.... Day 3 almost over. I miss and love her..... but must let her and "us" go. Thanks for being there for me everyone. Oh and congrats on reaching your goal Mac and Super.... Good luck with everything... You're already a 10th of the way to 30!!!!! Link to comment
Insidious1 Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 SWEET! LOL I dont even think i will go for just 30. If she is still with this guy... who she decided to jump into a relationship IMMEDIATELY after us... Then a month is NOT enough time to make ANY impact on her feelings. She is diving HEAD FIRST into this relationship... and month is still the "butterflies" stage... and might only show "its been a month.. i still care... oh poor me" LOL So i will do the 30 days. But might possibly do MUCH more. There is so much to say.. but no point in saying it do deaf/unemotional ears. I will wait until she is ready to really listen... and MAYBE THEN communicate with her again. Link to comment
Puckdog27 Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 SWEET! LOL Then a month is NOT enough time to make ANY impact on her feelings. She is diving HEAD FIRST into this relationship... and month is still the "butterflies" stage... and might only show "its been a month.. i still care... oh poor me" LOL So i will do the 30 days. But might possibly do MUCH more. There is so much to say.. but no point in saying it do deaf/unemotional ears. I will wait until she is ready to really listen... and MAYBE THEN communicate with her again. Why does she have to be ready to listen??? That sounds selfish agaon. I am not gonna talk to you until you are ready to hear what I have to say!!! See what I mean? First you know nothing more than hearsay about her and this guy. Second you would be surprised what can change in a month. 3rd work on you and when you are ready to talk to her talk to her, but only after a month. Link to comment
Pending Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 I must say-NC isit nearly as hard when the other party does not bother contacting you. Goodluck to us all. Link to comment
Insidious1 Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Selfish? LOL I've tried to talk to her! I never told her that i "wasn;t going to talk to her" until she is ready to listen. I just feel that talking to her in her present state of mind is useless. She MUST be willing to listen to me. Talking to her PRIOR to that would do nothing but push her away farther. I am sick of saying stuff and thinking "crap... maybe it is best i haven;t said that!" LOL I understand the concept on N.C. I am doing N.C. and will not break it. I know i will feel better.. and plan on being happy again! TRUST ME.. LOL.. i'd love to hear from her... and talk to her. I want to apologize for some of the stuff that i may have done to hurt her in the relationship. But N.C. for 30 days will pass and i will determine i i am ready to talk to or not. I may need more time... And about her and the new guy... the info i have is not just heresay. It is QUITE accurate. But i am no longer asking/inquiring about her and what she is up to. It does nothing but hurt. I agree that a month can change a lot. I am/will work on me... That is my priority..... (i didn;t realize i was sounding selfish...) Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted May 4, 2007 Author Share Posted May 4, 2007 Insidious.... If you talk to her I will duct tape you to the chair and beat you with a wiffle ball bat as I sip on a fine english pint. -SuperDave71 Link to comment
Insidious1 Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 I must say-NC isit nearly as hard when the other party does not bother contacting you. VERY VERY VERY true! My ex hasn't really made ANY contact with me on her own. Aside from the custmary "happy b day" text.. and stuff like that... there has been NO contact from her.... I shall do the same... and it DOES help that she is not calling/texting... that would tear me up! Link to comment
Insidious1 Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Insidious.... If you talk to her I will duct tape you to the chair and beat you with a wiffle ball bat as I sip on a fine english pint. -SuperDave71 Of course i won;t SD! LOL I am merely saying that i will most likely wait MORE than 30 days... the challenge is hard.. but i am SURE i can do it. Only is she starts really calling/texting will it get hard for me. But i know her... and she WONT be doing tht.... especially now that she is dating the other guy.... So it won;t be ALL that hard to NOT call..... (lol... fingers crossed....) Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted May 4, 2007 Author Share Posted May 4, 2007 Insidious, The only thing you really are having a hard time with is the IMAGE of the new guy rather than what you DO KNOW.....people assume that NEW is always better.... the fact is....you know NOTHING about your ex and this guy. Stick with what you do know..you are a good guy...and ya did your best. Believe in love...believe in you....and let God control the rest... ok? -SuperDave71 Link to comment
Insidious1 Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Will do..... Thank you....... (Thinks to myself.... if he's not "better",t hanwhy be with him and not me.....) SORRY!! LOL... thats the side of me thinking that i need to shut up! LOL I know guys.... and TRUST ME... i WILL not fail with N.C.! I can assure you of that Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted May 4, 2007 Author Share Posted May 4, 2007 Insidious, The other guys is really NOT the issue...its what you assume the other is... It's YOUR head playing tricks on you because she is with him...the fact is...STICK WITH WHAT YA KNOW!!! You can do it man!!! -SuperDave71 Link to comment
Pending Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Insidious1, See my problem is that I know i'm alot better then that other guy in a ton of ways. But yeah-if my ex tried to contact me...going be honest its going take alot not to respond. Though i'll be honest-with everything she did at the breakup/after, it implues she wants as clean a break as possile. Link to comment
The Wheel Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Day 16 Went to happy hour with friends. That was fun, but the hour and a half downtime between that and seeing some other friends has me thinking about her a bit. Perhaps it's the booze. Nah, I won't be breaching NC. Just happened to take a little time and think about her again. It'll pass, I'm sure. Link to comment
UnderBear Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Day 3 just passed. What a weird day. Signed up to do something I've wanted to do for 10 years today. I also realized I want to take up my guitarplaying again. Gonna go buy one. Other weird things happened as well. Maybe I'll share it with you guys at some point. But for some reason I want to just keep it to myself for now. I haven't told anyone. What a weird day. Feelings today: weird Link to comment
bear12 Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 ugh... to restart the challenge or to not restart the challenge? that is the question. Link to comment
Aldo25 Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Day 3 is starting to wind down for me. I went and played golf with my dad, I thought it'd help but I kept thinking of the last time I went to play golf and I remember that she called me, silly thing to remember I guess, but there you go. Question though, she has a few things of mine (coat, few CDs) should I maintain NC and forget about them? And if so, what happens if/when she eventually contacts me about them? Link to comment
blender Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Aldo, now is not the time to retrieve your belongings because you are still so emotionally vulnerable, give it some time, maintain no contact for your own sake, your own personal growth, so you can re-gain some perspective. If or when she eventually contacts you about your belongings you will be more prepared to emotionally handle it in a way you can feel proud of...and if she does call you when you are still so vulnerable it's okay for you to NOT answer and wait till a time when you feel stronger, and have gained back your sense of independence. For today just try to remember that this is going to 'hurt" for a bit, and it's normal for us to have sad and disappointing times in our life, it usually ends up to be the time we do the most self discovery and realize how strong you can be, and how much you can love, and that so many wonderful possiiblities are in YOUR future. So again, remember to take this just one day at a time, one day of no contact at a time, breathe, cry, play golf, get busy trying to widen your own world, and trust that FATE has a way of nudging us to where we are suppose to be even if sometimes it means our hearts ache for a bit.. You're strong, you will get through this... it's very difficult to let go of what we "thought and hoped could be" and to realize that the "reality" of the relationship is "different" then what we expected, or believed. So try to instead be in acceptance that for right now, there'll be moments of tugging at your heart, but it's okay, and to remember that what you "want' right now, might not be what you truly "need" in the long run. Keep your chin up, take care of you right now... we're all here when you need to vent or ask questions... Link to comment
SLBG Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Ok so im on day 3 of no contact and im finding it really hard. ITs the weekend and so I no she will be going out etc. The last time I heard from her was yesterday moring, via txt. As for the NC, how much effort does the ex have to put in if they want you bk? if your ignoring there calls, txts, emails, how can they actually get u bk? My ex told me on wednesday that she loves misses n wants me bk but then acted totally different n started ignoring me in the evening This is soooo confusing Link to comment
sandyv Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Ok so im on day 3 of no contact and im finding it really hard. ITs the weekend and so I no she will be going out etc. The last time I heard from her was yesterday moring, via txt. As for the NC, how much effort does the ex have to put in if they want you bk? if your ignoring there calls, txts, emails, how can they actually get u bk? My ex told me on wednesday that she loves misses n wants me bk but then acted totally different n started ignoring me in the evening This is soooo confusing Hey join da club, Jack sketched my picture on Monday night, signed it "I Love You Sandy" and he's stuck it to me yet again........ Link to comment
Aldo25 Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Thank you for the kind words. Well, I'm not into Day 4 of no contact. I had another dream about her last night, but the frequency of those is diminishing. It is now exactly one week since she broke up with me, and one week since I've actually last seen her. It was a hard week, I hope I can make it through another week. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted May 5, 2007 Author Share Posted May 5, 2007 Sandy, I have been looking for you a new SPINE on Ebay....so far..NO LUCK. *sigh* I luv ya girl...now STOP allowing this ding dong head to jerk you around ok? -SuperDave71 Link to comment
thelonelydoll Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Day I Don't Know of Permanent NC Ok, I've dodged phonecalls, received emails, and got a text a couple of days ago. For the hell of it, and because it's been since April 1, I decided to look at his myspace page. Ha! His reason for being on myspace is now "dating". Sure, Mike, good luck with that. I have a feeling that sobriety hasn't worked out for him. Oops. But there you go, I'm a ding dong head for looking anyway. But today was the day I put threw out the "Mike Box" - all photos, gifts, mementos. So the day hasn't been a total loss. Link to comment
UnderBear Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 Day 4. I feel strange saying this. But the last couple of days I feel I have had some kind of enlightenment or something. Now I'm just afraid it will disappear, or that I will forget it or something. I will break my silence from yesterday. It all felt so weird, so I didn't feel like talking about it then. I went with my cousin (spelling?) to a park barbeque with her work colleagues. And I met this girl, talked to her for half the night. Now I got this crush on her! I haven't felt like this in YEARS, how can this be!? I ended up asking her for her phone number, and she gave it to me... Told her I'd take her out for a coffee. Now I'm scared to death, 'cause I think I really like her. And I haven't done this kinda thing since I was like 15... How long was I supposed to wait until I call!? Feelings today: hopeful, anxious, good spirited, little confused, actually feel butterflies... Don't beat me down 'cause of this, it's the best I've felt in a month Link to comment
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