redreine Posted March 1, 2009 Share Posted March 1, 2009 I told my ex the last time we talked to just forget I exist, and he said he could never do that, that I made too much of an impact on his life. I also told him that we were meant to be together forever, we just weren't meant to be together right now, and he never acknowledged that statement. Knowing him, it was because he knows it to be true, but he's too proud to admit it. The longest it's ever taken him to come back to me has been 2 weeks. I need to figure out how to be strong and tell him we need time to grow before we get back together, assuming he does in fact come back. I just don't know how. I love him, and I know he loves me, but the two of us together right now? Bad juju. Link to comment
iminsane Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Hi BrokenheartUK, My ex's boy friend has come to the city a week back. He will be here for another 2 months. I get the same feeling of bumping into her and her boyfriend when i go out. I avoid staying in the city, i go for trekking to some far place in the weekends, so that i don't get this feeling. I hate to go out. When i see any couple, i think its my ex and him, I have this strange feeling. Hope in 2 months i will be alrigt. Otherwise its 28th day NC. Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Day 12. Miss her. I've also forgiven her and myself completely. Sh*t happens. Link to comment
philove Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Day 11 - I don't miss her, I don't care what she's doing, I don't even like her anymore and I'm beginning to question whether I actually loved her in the first place! So overall I'm doing pretty well Link to comment
and again Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Day 1 yesterday, after 5 weeks nc, something happened and had to contact her, even though she says that she will never date again or have a one night stand (i do believe her for now). It felt so over, like i was talking to a stranger, and like i had no right to be concened for her or her kids. 2 out of 10 Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 At this point Im just hoping that some day I will wake up NOT thinking of him Link to comment
and again Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 At this point Im just hoping that some day I will wake up NOT thinking of him Ixtapa, how long where you together? Im looking forward to the day when she does`nt dominate my thoughts. Link to comment
wiley Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 It will happen guys, time is your friend Link to comment
and again Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 wiley i know you are right, ive been here before, it just never seems to get an more easy, even though you know in the end it will, its like you are stuck in a black storm. Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Day 28 Well it's almost the 30 day mark and I feel no better, I'm so sick of her being on my mind 24/7. You'd think the irritation of being able to think about NOTHING ELSE would make my unconscious mind take steps to distract me, but it hasn't happened so far. If anything, I feel like I have only taken massive steps backwards. I still think of her and her new boyfriend falling in love (if they haven't already), doing loads of fun stuff together, how much of a boring boyfriend I was and how much she prefers him to me. I had my first dream about her last night in a while, and in it she told me we would never be together, that she was happy with him and that I should leave her alone. In it I remember saying "Okay, see you around". The dream really sums up reality at the moment, so perhaps my unconscious mind is working after all. Link to comment
wiley Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Been about 2 weeks now, not been getting urges to talk to her at all which is good. She called me at work just now and asked me for the name and location of a restaurant we went to which we both liked... What the hell? Why couldnt she have just looked it up or called the 118 directory service?! Seems she is doing the same things me and her used to do, with her new BF. She is probably just trying to rub it in. Oh well. I don't want to be her friend! Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 She called me at work just now and asked me for the name and location of a restaurant we went to which we both liked... What the hell? Why couldnt she have just looked it up or called the 118 directory service?! Seems she is doing the same things me and her used to do, with her new BF. That's really harsh man, sorry to hear that she is being so cruel. Chin up! Link to comment
longdist Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Day 1 I sent my ex an email yesterday after 30 days of NC to tell her about something that happened last spring that strongly impacted our relationship. It's something I should have told her last spring, instead of letting things self-destruct in a downward spiral. I suspect that I won't get a response and wasn't really looking for one. It does have me checking email often, looking to see if she has responded, so it may have set me back a little. At the same time I feel like a big weight has been lifted off of my chest. Today I'm missing her as a friend, as much as anything. Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Ixtapa, how long where you together? Im looking forward to the day when she does`nt dominate my thoughts. Only a couple months actually.....but I've known him for 2 years and we were friends. I fell really hard for him....I have only been this much in love once before in my life...so its really hard to let go...I would like another chance to try and make it work... Link to comment
and again Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Only a couple months actually.....but I've known him for 2 years and we were friends. I fell really hard for him....I have only been this much in love once before in my life...so its really hard to let go...I would like another chance to try and make it work...[/QUOT] I was only with my ex about six months, 3 months really heavy and deep,i fell head over heels, the last few months. I looked at the whole situation for once and knew i could happily settle for what i had. I had also known her for years on and off before hand. We talked so deep about kids living together etc, i wonder sometimes if it was all the what was going to be i miss so much. Had my future mapped out. We never fell out, she just went weird and panicked on me. I spoke to her sat after 5 wks nc, the poin of call wasnt really about us, more a situation i thought she had got caught up in. At one point i said u go from crisis to crisis, always had bad relationships, and for once you get a good one. She just went quiet. Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 [/QUOT] At one point i said u go from crisis to crisis, always had bad relationships, and for once you get a good one. She just went quiet. I think it was the same for my ex but I never got round to talking about it with him. Anyway...the situation was rather complicated but I know that we could have been really happy together....he just wasnt willing to give up on some of the stuff he was doing before he met me... Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 14 days of NC! I REALLY miss him!!! =[ Link to comment
rayah Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Day 5 haha i broke no contact but i didnt...see before the relationship he will always be a dear friend of mine, regardless of if i communicate with him or not...and i know that he is VERY depressed with school right now. i found this quote from a book we both highly respect i made a new email address and sent it to him...silly me [i accidently kept my name] so it was like: email removed. BAHAHAHAHAAHAAA i sent it to him then cancelled the acct. i didnt do it to talk to him. i just wanted to bring his spirits up. although he took me for granted i will never be happy to see a close friend in his/her depths of despair. that's not my character. anyhow day 5 is going well...snow day!! Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 I guess I'm finally signing up then...broken up for a full month, tried giving her space to win her back and have essentially given up, decided that that ship has sailed and its time to move on. It sucks absolute BALLS. 4 days of NC so far, rolling back the counter to 1 for this challenge. In a really angry place right now. Don't know what/who at. It's not her, she still means everything to me. It's not myself cos I know our whole time together I almost always made an effort to please her and that the breakup was not because of anything I'd done/become. I think its probably the whole situation in general. I'd cut myself off from the whole relationship/dating world if it wasn't for the fact I enjoy it so much, I like building bonds and trust with people, and that my friends are, on the whole, completely useless and self absorbed. Link to comment
cookiedough1 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Week 3... I need some support I met up with one of our mutual friends and I had a difficult time today. My ex's bday was 3 weeks ago (when I sent him an ecard that he never replied to/acknowledged). Me and my ex were in a group of friends of 6-7 ppl. My friend told me that the group threw him a bday party and my ex did not want me to be invited. I know I dodged a bullet and did not have to make a difficult decision regarding whether or not to attend the party. But at the same time, I feel sad that I have not seen our mutual friends and I miss them and miss how things were. My friend told me that my ex seems like his usual self and I am just so frustrated that I am still so emotional and upset over the breakup. He never mourned the loss of our friendship/relationship. I feel like a pathetic girl that can't get over some guy that got over me a long time ago. I bet he feels pity for me. I work so much and go to school full time...I feel like I'm never going to meet anyone else. I start residency next year and almost everyone there is already married/dating someone. It makes me feel like things will be hopeless for a long time Link to comment
lauramed Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Well, there goes all my work at NC. Don't hear from him for almost 3 months and all of a sudden 2 calls from him within 3 days. Total shock the first call...never expected to hear from him again. Going to call me this week....is he in for a surprise because I'm not the same person that I was 3 months ago and unless he's looking for a relationship and not just the friend thing he can keep on walking. I refuse to go back down that road of pain. Link to comment
SighSob Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 1. Just because he seems like his usual self it doesn't mean that he is not feeling pain/hasn't felt pain at all. The fact that he hasn't invited you to the party and didn't answer to your card makes me actually think that he's not over you yet. 2. Yes, you're still in pain while he's (at least on the outside) having fun. So what? This is not a race where who heals first wins. You are human and you're hurt, it will take time to recover the pain. You shouldn't compare your situation with his one...you're both experiencing separation from each other, but you are the one that has to deal with rejection & regret & confusion. It will obviously take longer for you to heal! You're not pathetic at all. 3. You will meet someone else and you will have better days, trust me. Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Im not even bothering with trying to count the days anymore... its just depressing seeing 'day 1' at the top of all my posts. Still thinking about her constantly, shes going to amsterdam this weekend with her friend, in a way im happy shes getting out and enjoying herself, but also afraid that if she enjoys herself too much she will forget all about me. She does some part time work at our local petrol station and I happened to go in there on my way home from the gym last night, of course it had to be a night that she was working. It was nice to see her, although it did remind me of just how beautiful she is and what im missing out on, her shift finished about 5 minutes after I arrived so she ended up inviting me back to her parents place and cooking me dinner. It was nice to spend some time with her, it was very light hearted and she seemed to enjoy being around me. I actually felt really happy being around her until it sunk in that I was going to have to leave soon after and she wouldn't be coming with me... my mood then sunk. I left with a few kind words exchanged on my way out, being the absolute muppet that I am i text her as I was pulling out of the driveway to say... 'I still love you' to be fair I wasn't expecting a text back but I did get a reply of simply... 'X', not really sure what thats supposed to mean but anyway. Decided that I cant keep this up, I have to enforce NC properly or im just going to be going round in this continuous loop forever, I mean its been 3 months now and I'm still in exactly the same position as I was on day one! I think in some way, Im seeing or speaking to her on purpose because I dont want her to forget about me and move on, but whats the point in her not moving on and not being with me!? I would rather her be happy with someone else than miserable, it hurts to say it but its the truth, I have to stick to NC and let her go... easier said than done! Link to comment
cookiedough1 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 thanks sighsob...i appreciate it. the reason i believe he's over me and he didn't contact me is because the last time we spoke in january...i told him that i wasn't over him and that i did not want him to contact me unless he wanted to be with me (but i would try to move on at the same time)....so i bet he just didnt want to lead me on and it's easy for him to stay away from me Link to comment
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