THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[ToodlePip]

I drink warm milk with sugar in to help me sleep sometimes, and the other day I treated myself to a couple of Richard Pryor DVDs that were in the sales. Good to know that someone else takes a similar approach! It's nice to be able to laugh again, even if it's just on my own.

 

I'm sure she does. Memories don't get erased!

 

I chose Chris Rock because he has some incredibly astute and funny things ot say about relationships that put things in perspective. Totally recommend it!

[BrokenheartUK]

I'm sure she does. Memories don't get erased!

 

I chose Chris Rock because he has some incredibly astute and funny things ot say about relationships that put things in perspective. Totally recommend it!

 

Funny you should say that, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is on my 'to watch' list next!

 

I'll check out some Chris Rock, I do like what I've seen of him and some relationship humour would do me well at this point. Have you ever heard of Louis CK? He is absolutely hilarious, stick his name into Youtube and watch the clip called 'Saddest Handjob in America'

[ToodlePip]

Funny you should say that, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is on my 'to watch' list next!

 

I'll check out some Chris Rock, I do like what I've seen of him and some relationship humour would do me well at this point. Have you ever heard of Louis CK? He is absolutely hilarious, stick his name into Youtube and watch the clip called 'Saddest Handjob in America'

 

I'll check out Louis CK Careful with Eternal Sunshine - the ending might mess you up... I nearly rewatched it but chose not to. Instead I watch the butterfly effect which ended up messing with my head as well!!

[BrokenheartUK]

Careful with Eternal Sunshine - the ending might mess you up... I nearly rewatched it but chose not to. Instead I watch the butterfly effect which ended up messing with my head as well!!

 

Yeah I know, I've seen it once before but can't remember the ending - isn't is a happy one? I've survived watching a few 'relationship' movies since the split: Swingers (a good one for us guys), High Fidelity (not such a good idea in hindsight as the couple in it get back together), When Harry Met Sally (gave me hope that if we are 'meant to be then we will be', no matter how long it takes to get there).

 

I don't know why I watch them, it's the kind of mentality that makes us want to wallow in sad songs when we're down, I guess.

 

I'm going to watch some Louis CK on my lunch hour now, I need a laugh

[ToodlePip]

Yeah, it's happy in a "give me hope" way but that might not be helpful to you right now.

[JohnGalt]

Day 2 - 68 days to go (for me)

That seems like such a long time!

Its already been nearly 3 months and i havent managed more than a week so far.

Thinking about her alot, anyone noticed that at times like this you tend to listen to the lyrics of every song you hear and can relate to it in some way or form.

The Fray - Never say never, not a good song to be listening to right now!

 

Day to day life is getting harder... I work for her parents so see them all the time and they keep telling me to keep my chin up and that she will come round... which is nice in a way but think it may be giving me false hope.

Cant find the motivation to work, go out, cook... do anything really... LIFE SUCKS!

 

 

Yeah man, the problem is you're still harboring hope for reconciliation. She's not going to come back unless you give her up. She has to miss you. Challenge yourself.

 

Good luck!

[redreine]

We were back together...but now we're not.

 

Have I got a story for you guys and gals. Oy vey.

 

We got back together on Sunday. He told me he couldn't stop thinking about me, he couldn't live without me, he wanted to be with me forever..blah blah blah whatever. He comes over Monday, and towards the end of the night starts messing around on facebook and youtube and stuff on my computer, while I am obviously bored and irritated. I even flat out told him once to get off of my computer...I guess he thought I was joking? Oh well.

So we had plans for Saturday for our belated Valentine's date. I had a funeral to go to Saturday morning, which was hard for me. Then my best friend's baby shower, which was hard for personal reasons I won't disclose, but he knows. I get home all excited because he should be at my house any minute. I decide to call him to tell him to be careful because the roads are a little slick. He cancels on me.

 

Now, I'm obviously very upset, but I can deal with it. I understand the weather is bad. Later on, I get a txt from my friend. He has txtd her to tell me his computer is acting up, and he will be online at 6. He wasn't. I called him at 8. He had been out (on the bad roads!) the whole time with his friend. I started to tell him how I didn't understand why he couldn't just make it to our date, and he started yelling (yes, YELLING) at me about guilt-tripping him, and then hung up on me.

I tried calling him back, no answer. So I left him an offline message saying we were through until he decides to grow up and quit handling his relationships like a 15 year old. I told him I love him and I do want to be with him forever, but I can't have a relationship like this, and that things needed to change, and we jumped back into it too quickly.

 

So I've been sending him lovey-dovey bumper stickers on facebook, to let him know that I do still love him and I do care...and he's been accepting them and posting them on his facebook, but he wasn't answering my calls or my IM's, at all.

 

I then figured out once again that he had already put his profile back up on that dating website. And saw that he was looking for girls on some facebook application. So I IM'd him and asked if he "could maybe not hate me?" and he answered "idk".

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I hate this, enotaloners. I hate loving someone so much, and knowing at the same time that I deserve better. I hate that there are all these guys out there really like me a lot and want to be with me, and I am so stuck on this...this...CHILD...who throws an emotional temper tantrum every time something doesn't go his way. My best friend says it's like there's a nice Tony and an evil Tony, lol. I'm starting to believe her. I think the thing I really hate the most is...a lot of this could be solved if we weren't living out our relationship on a computer. He is an angel when we are physically together. He's the sweetest guy you could ever hope to meet, he takes care of me, and he's just wonderful. When he has a computer screen to hide behind, the sh*t just flies. All of this craziness that ensues between us always happens online. I mean, we've had our little hiccups when we were physically together, but never anything close to major.

 

*sigh*

I need a break.

[TLguy]

Love is blind hun. If im completely honest with you someone who acts like that obviously doesnt return your feelings.

 

Sometimes in relationships it seems if someone has someones undying love then it makes them act arrogant and uncaring as they believe that person will always be there. This happened to me on occasion...and looking back now Im really sick of how I acted.

 

If I advise something...Id say find someone who cares for you as much as you care for this guy. But then again I am going through a phase of seeing every relationship as a failure waiting to happen

[jahur]

Day 5,

 

Struggling like mad not to contact her after she sent me an email last night. I can get through this and prove to myself and to her how strong I am.

 

look back at my dog sh%t theory and c what you think.

[arghgirl]

Day 1 again. Ok, this time, I am really sticking to it!

[dont_know_what_2_say]

31 day no contact

[redreine]

So I found out he's mad at me for the following reasons :

 

1. I guilt-tripped him then denied doing it.

2. I told him he spends too much time with his friends.

 

Ok, I'll be honest. I did guilt-trip him and deny it. But not in the way he was thinking. He stated I was guilt-tripping him for cancelling our date. I wasn't. I was guilt-tripping him for not coming because the roads were bad, then driving around all day with his friend.

 

The second thing, I told him with the gas money he spends going to see his friends and going to Wal Mart and Taco Bell and other places, he could use that to come see me one extra day a week. He interpreted that as me saying he spends too much time with his friends.

 

I tried explaining all this to him, and he said he didn't care because the past was the past, and quit talking to me again.

[SaraNala]

Okay, this is my first post here, I couldn't help seeing your story and then the follow up. I'm not talking down to you when I say this, so please, hear me out. MY BOYFRIEND (who broke up with me on Saturday for the 5th time or so in 8 years!) was just like yours. Except he doesn't have many friends just drinking buds. But, girl you need to forget about this guy and seriously take the no contact challenge. I'm 25 and I can remember 4 years ago with the same boyfriend that just broke up with me...he had time and money for everything else except me. Any and all excuses were made for him to belittle or drag out an argument and I actually thought everything was my fault. Don't blame yourself for his failures or stupidity. Don't let yourself think for one second that you don't deserve better! You do!! I know you're not looking for advice like this right now seeing as it's pretty early in the game and you still have contact with him, but please be aware that this will only get worse if you let him treat you the way he is. You just have to cut off and really let him miss you and know what it's like for him not to be with you, see you, and have fun with you.

 

Good luck with everything!

[iminsane]

Any and all excuses were made for him to belittle or drag out an argument and I actually thought everything was my fault. Don't blame yourself for his failures or stupidity.

 

It happened to me many times. My ex broke up with me thrice in last 5 months. She suddenly did things that made me angry, like not attending calls, not replying to my mails. I started fighting, then she said she was busy and i behaved immaturely. I thougth it was my fault and used to beg and ask sorry. But the truth was she wants to dump me, She used that reason and others for breaking up.

 

Good i knew the truth, it hurts. Day 23 going good !

[philove]

Day 6 - Feeling alittle bit better today but not brilliant. My urge to contact my ex has now disappeared with the great help and support I received off this forum. Thanks guys I probably would have contacted otherwise.

 

6/10

[ToodlePip]

Day 6. All sorts of thought going round in my head. Went to therapy yesterday and my therapist did say she thinks I'd stated what I wanted ot happen, then left. She thinks it was good that I had reached out last week but agrees to leave the ball in my ex's court now, even though she did reply to my text. I am definitely moving on, and at the moment working through resentful feelings towards her.

[BrokenheartUK]

Day 23 - feel okay today. I can feel myself growing stronger and she is fading from my thoughts by tiny increments with each new day. This scares me though; I dont want to forget her - even though she has probably already forgotten me. I don't want us to be strangers, that would be too bizarre! The thought of only being able to exchange a glance or a small 'hi' as we pass on the street is just weird after all we've been through together. This girl was part of my existence for two years and I want her in my life, no matter how small the capacity. I wish she felt the same.

[Ixtapa]

Feeling better today...

[GetMeBack]

Well done everyone, keep strong x

[Viper55666]

FFS - DAY 1 AGAIN!

I should just give up, this is getting stupid! First of all she emailed me to ask about some things that I had to answer (e.g. Joint Finances), she also asked me what I was up to this weekend. I answered the important question and ignored the latter... Feeling strong! She then emailed me again to confirm my calculation of the financial situation and asked this time asked how me and our dog are... being the absolute loser I am I answered by saying both missing her! IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Its annoying we both agreed a few days ago to keep contact to essential things only until our wedding anniversary (3rd May) and then re-evaluate the situation. I've been strong (up to now) I haven't emailed, phoned or text her even though I have been dying to, but one moment of weakness and Im back to square one... I think it just comes down to me not wanting her to think I'm an * * * * * * * for ignoring her.

 

WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[montgomery]

day whatever.

 

it's almost unbearable. I see her every day, and every day reopens the wounds, delaying the healing. we just passed on the stairs. we both flinched, but nothing more.

 

even if I'm screaming inside, I want her to think that I'm fine, that I'm done with it. but I'm just not that good an actor. I know it looks like I'm Not Talking To Her, blanking her like a child in the playground. I'm in agony, and I'm sure she can more or less smell it on me.

 

I just can't bear the dominion this silly, selfish little girl has over me.

 

I should be SO over this by now. grrrr.

[BrokenheartUK]

day whatever.

 

it's almost unbearable.

 

I should be SO over this by now. grrrr.

 

That's how I feel right now - check my post above, I was fine this morning! And now I'm back in the hole again. Jesus H Christ, why can't I just forget her and move on with my life?! She has!!! ](*,)

[redreine]

My ex always made me feel like I was wrong, too. He'd do something to upset me and find some way to turn it all around on me, and I always ended up being the one to apologize. He always said the same thing, that I freak out over little things. And he always pulled the same card - "everyone I talk to agrees with me when I tell them about it". WELL DUH. You're talking to YOUR family and friends. Not only that, you're probably TWISTING the story around to your advantage. To be frank, I talk to people about our problems, too...and I always tell the exact story, including the stuff I know will make me sound bad, and what do you know. The people *I* talk to always agree with ME. Imagine that.

 

I'm usually spoon-feeding him and trying to be nice about everything, but last night I was completely candid. I told him he needs to see things from my point of view for once. You know what he did? Let me tell you a little tidbit about last night.

 

He was mad at me for taking my sh*tty day out on him. He said he has a sh*tty day every day, and he never takes it out on anyone. I was trying to explain to him how having to go to a funeral that day was hard on me because I don't deal well with them ever since my dad died. Then he said, well imagine people telling you all day you can't do anything.

 

SERIOUSLY? YOU'RE GOING TO COMPARE MY EMOTIONAL ISSUES WITH DEATH TO WORKING IN A FAST FOOD RESTAURANT?

 

Needless to say, that was when I got p*ssed off and started ranting.

[rayah]

hey guys...so i went MIA because I felt so bad that i broke my no contact...but it is getting re-instated as of 11 am today. My ex has been stressed out with school and he called me last night and i was trying to be optimistic but he was like whatever so i was trying to make him laugh so i agreed with him and was like 'yea ur life is pretty much over' but i laughed like b4 i could even finish the comment and i was like quint you know im just joking...and he was like bye lorayah. well i called him back about 4x [no answer] and texted him twice. this morning i texted him and then i called him twice [no answer] so i finally texted him 'iigt im done worrying about u. bye' so now no contact is instated! im so over it. like i dont care what happens to him anymore. the only reason why i felt like i needed to be there for him was b/c that morning i had texted him asking how to deal with stress [b/c im stressing about academics also] and he told me a good remedy and then asked was i okay and he told me to keep pushing. he gets so angry...he has a temper that i already know of...and he likes to push people away when he is in 'his way.' so he probably isn't pushing the new girl away but if he wants to push me away that is totally fine, it actually gives me so much more ammunition to actually do no contact now. b/c b4 i thought it was weird to do no contact when there was nothing wrong between us, just feelings that i couldnt get over. but you dont ignore me and think that's fine. so i know that there will be days when im stressed and im gonna wanna go to him but im just gon think about how * * * * ed up he acted towards me [iono if im allowed to cuss on here or not]. i only have 13 more months here with him, then i will be going to grad school [hopefully either NYU or UGA] somewhere farrrr away from VA! It hurt me at first, b/c i am the helpful, caring, nurturing person, that's who I am and I accept that, however, I cannot help people who don't want me to help. He obviously wanted me to help but he didn't want me to help. He's so backwards like that. Well anyways, more and more I'm just being reaffirmed that he is DEFINITELY not the ONE. haha. I can't believe I thought that we could actually be. I'm so happy I only wasted 2-3 yrs of my life rather than if we had stayed in a relationship longer. I just need advice, however, on what do I do when i start missing him. Because I know I will, rarely, but I will. Okey dokey...please pray for me to get through this no contact...and im not doing 30 day no contact im trying to do no contact until we finish this semester...which will be like May 8th or something lol. So definitely pray for me!!!!

[redreine]

Needless to say, I'm back. Day 1, NC.