Crows Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Day 12. Doing well. I find myself thinking less and less about her! I LOVE IT! But still worry about this other girl I really hope works out with us Link to comment
gee Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Day 10... Today I am hurting! I'm just missing her more than ever! Knowing she might be with the other guy just kills me! I just don't know if I should just give up and stop praying about it, but I feel like she might be back. Confused is what I am! She broke NC when I did it for 2 weeks. Now, I don't even think she might call me at all. I want to move on but I am not ready to date. i realized that Saturday when I went out with the guys. We have been split up for 2 months and how is it possible for her to hook up during that time and not try our last time to fix our 4yr relationship? I want to call her badly! Link to comment
honeyspur Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Jade - congrats on day 26! You are really coming to the hardest part of NC. Lots of people give up here because they realize how comfortable being miserable is (sounds strange but so true) - the real work is realizing you survived a month of incredible pain and now life is waiting. The next hurdle is getting back to the world, new people who deserve your company and new ideas to spice up your personal life. As Dave would say, 'you can do it my friend!' Link to comment
minigirl Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Day 1 We no longer have to see each other. We probably will never run into each other again. My heart hurts but I am forcing myself to move on (Its been 2 months) I'm allowing myself to think about him now, and I deep down inside do miss him and cant understand why he would just pick up and leave. I dont know how he could love me one min and give up the next. But today will be the LAST day I will cry for him. today will be the last day I think of him in a longing way A few days ago, I made the choice to force myself to move on and stop reliving the pain. Yesterday he returned a 1 week old email with nothing in it. Nothing that I can pull hope out of. My heart fluttered and I was scared/ excited to open it. But from today forward, I promise myself, I can't let it hold me back anymore. I need to move on. I WILL NOT think about you in that way anymore. I WILL NOT torture myself with questions of why and what if and if onlys I need to delete our memories temporairily. I'm not going to allow myself to hurt over our memories. I'm sorry. At this moment, I dont want to ever see you again in my life. ANd now I'm starting Day 1 of NC. Please, and I know you wont, dont contact me. If I can ask for anything, please give me time and let me heal. Link to comment
GameX Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Just Finished Day 13 It's been hard, as I am sure all of you have experienced at some point. Wednesday will be the two week mark for me. I have no intentions of breaking NC. I am starting to accept the fact that the ex is probably dating this other guy. There is nothing I can do about it. I still check her MySpace, even though I know absolutely nothing good can come from it. Not sure why I still do it though. I am getting to the point where I am starting to question whether or not I would take her back if she came back to me. Don't get me wrong, I really want to be with her, its just that after everything that has happened, I don't know if I would be able to date her again. But thats a whole different story, which I may never even have to worry about. Link to comment
lonely83 Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Ok so my ex just broke NC with me, unfortunately it was only on msn to ask about when I wanted to get my stuff back and we didn't really chat for long but she kept on saying she'd text me and every time she wrote something she was putting 'xxx' at the end of every sentence. I know its only msn and it doesn't mean anythin but it just seemed so odd for her to be doing that especially when she hasn't in the past. No doubt I'm over analysing everything and getting my hopes up that she might be missing me - as is usually the case. Two thoughts are going through my mind, first - that she really wants rid of my stuff and me from her life completely and second - that maybe she does miss me and wants to use this as an excuse to see me? Naturally I'd like it to be the second thought but in all honestly I know deep down it's the first. lonely83 Link to comment
Mock Chop Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Day 3 and I'm okay - which surprises me a bit. I just keep thinking of how he broke up with me and how cowardly it was, especially from a highly intelligent 42 year old man. I'm going to carry on doing the things that will make me feel better about who I am. It's dawned on me that how people behave toward me is both entirely up to them and about them, not me. Link to comment
dragon lady Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Just a quick question. What happens when the 30 days is up? Is that when you're supposed to be over them? Or this is that when you can contact them? I can't help but feel that after 30 days I can talk to him. I know that's wrong, but the irrational part of the brain is telling me that. Anyway, it's day 8 and I'm using every last speck of my will power to not contact him. I feel like I have so much to say. Too bad he probably wouldn't even care. Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 I don't think you can get over someone in just 30 days, but it depends on how long you've been with them as well. I suggest continuing NC until you heal. If you feel that you can talk to him after 30 days, then you're free to do so. But you MIGHT end up in the same mess you were in 30 days before. As for myself, I don't think 30 days is enough. I'm trying to do another 30 days. Link to comment
honeyspur Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 The 30 day mark is to break the habit. To some degree the obsessive habit of thinking/needing/wanting them will subside and you will see your own individuality and outside interests return. 30 days is how ALL habits are broken - it's just a natural, internal time clock we have that works. It's part of our wiring and is linked to survival instinct. It's been proven in biological study and is the foundation for all habit breaking programs. So basically, you are letting go of the conscious and putting trust in the biological. When stuck in an unhealthy cycle, it's best to re-train the mind and body - THEN make a decision to contact. You may find after a month that you do indeed want to call the ex - but I'll bet you every dime I have your conversation will be light years in difference compared to if you called on day 7, 16 or 25. Link to comment
starlette08 Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 day 2 of NC (since i called him a few days ago) after talking to him on the phone, it made me realize how much i really DO love this guy. im not goign to contact him beacuse at this point - it hurts too much. everytime i talk to him, it will remind me of how much i miss and love him. i live in another country and will be home in 17 days. i know this isn't that far ahead, but im going to take this time to focus on myself - and only me. i have 5 exams between that time that im determined to ace them all. hopefully by the time i get home (and possibly meet up with him for the first time in three months) that i would have healed a bit. Link to comment
Irish Jax Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 I have reached Day 10!!!! I am so excited to have reached Day 10, I do still think about him everyday, but I am stronger compared to last week. I realize that if we talked right now, it would not help. As much as we cared for each other, the best option right now is to let each other breathe and take as much space as we can. What that space will do? I do not know. But I respect it when he asked for space and I also have realized I need it as well. I keep thinking ten days is alot, but then I look at a calendar and realize that it is not that much healing time at all. Day 10!!! Link to comment
wyrllish Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Made it a week Proud that I could finally resist this long and sad that she hasn't contacted me as well. Grats Irish on day 10. I pretty much feel the same way as you, just hope I'm passing in her thoughts(in a good way). I want to talk to her but only if/when she contacts me. Last month we only went two days before she contacted me somehow...getting almost nothing from her this month. I'll probably call my ex's mom back today just to say hey. Don't want to be rude and ignore her call/voice mail, she was the sweetest thing towards me. Link to comment
Godfather Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Day 8 for me! I like it. I feel like I have control. NC is great. Link to comment
Hunny1607307342 Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 AFter 4 months of NC (apart from several random exceptions) me and my ex have begun to talk a bit, texting mainly. I texted him last night, he replied in the morning, we i texted him a life quote which reminded me of things he was saying a couple of days ago. General chit chat. Do you think it was cold hearted of me to end the texting convo by sending a message with an hour delay saying : oh ok. anyways im off for a jog now so i'll speak to you later. Link to comment
CatsMeeoow Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 No... But don't spend so much time analyzing it... you're trying too hard. Accept it for what it is... chit chat. Who knows maybe it turns into more and then maybe it doesn't. Don't hang on his every word... it lowers your attraction. Instead think of him hanging on to yours! Link to comment
Tinnes Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 I saw him an hour ago, after 2,5 months. He came to bring me something. I had a feeling that I saw him last time 2 days ago. Lately I was thinking about how I feel completely recovered. It's been 7,5 months since we broke up. Time did it. I do not feel the pain any more. I live my life normaly without him. Just must addmit, that NC is great thing. I sorted my thoughts, and at one point he wanted to come back. Now, from this moment, I'll start NC again, just to prevent myself from some things that might bother me(i would feel bad if I heard he had new g/f...). If I do not know, I do not care. Proven method. Link to comment
Hunny1607307342 Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 what is it like seeing your ex after 7.5 months?? Link to comment
Mock Chop Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Well, I've had the odd half hour of pangs about him, but that's day three over. If he doesn't contact me, and I don't contact him, I'll give him approximately 7 days before he gets in touch. I had my email away message on the 2nd last time he emailed me - so of course, he got "Auto Response - I am unable to read your message at this time". I didn't reply for 2 days and he sent some random question about something I told him about my son prior to our break up. It was obviously just to see if I was still 'there'. I did reply this time and there's been nothing from him since. Ah well. His behaviour is his choice. Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Day 39 He sent me an IM on saturday another on sunday yet another on monday on tuesday he nudged me on MSN he did the same yesterday blah... Link to comment
deleted-account Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Day 39 He sent me an IM on saturday another on sunday yet another on monday on tuesday he nudged me on MSN he did the same yesterday blah... You really are doing amazing Lilbear.... that's awesome! Link to comment
Muzatsu Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 day 13, still didn't text or msg or call him, doing alright I guess. Link to comment
gee Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Day 11 Well, it's been very tough for me! Today was the first day I saw some light and a small spark of joy since our break up. I've been a mess the last 2 months..total disaster walking around constantly thinking about her and teary eyed most of the time. Thanks to this forum and some good advice I've managed to tell myself...just let it go!!! I still to this day have her in my heart, but penetrated very deeply! I've suffered long enough I think, but i know i will have my moments(normal). NC is to heal and I've learned that from reading endless stories! I'm a good guy, not a perfect guy and I made my mistakes but these 2 months I have improved myself and continue to do so, but as I was doing this she was always on my mind hoping one day she will contact me. I've learned from my mistakes and I will never repeat them again because MY actions will always speak louder than words from this point on(thanks SuperDave)!!! Thinking she is/might be with someone destroys me, but I need to have faith and think like this..."Love is letting go of the one you love, hoping that they will come back to you when they realize what they have lost." Hope you are doing well baby! I miss you very much and I love you with all my heart! I hope God reunites us again as he once did! Have faith everyone...hang in there! Link to comment
Crows Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Day 13. Almost the longest ive ever. been. I feel the best ive ever felt since this breakup. I think less and less about her, and i'm optimistic something might happen with the new girl im seeing Link to comment
Tinnes Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 what is it like seeing your ex after 7.5 months?? It passed 2,5 months from the last time we met. And 7,5 since we are not together. I think I was a bit confused. It is the same person. But generally, feelings faded away. I was sad somehow. How much I loved him and now hard it was to struggle after break up. But, after half of the year, some feelings just gone. I live without him, I know I'll be able to love somebody else... (when I just remember how devastated I was after break up...) Link to comment
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