Humananity and Rudeness

[miracle29]

I was told by my father, "Don't speak in volumes about your good deeds, let your good deeds speak volumes about you"

 

However, in this case I want to vent something to all of you and wonder if any of you feel the same. In todays society, "no good deed will go unpunished". So without speaking in volumes about my good deeds I'll just say this

 

Yesterday it just struck me and I am very upset about how rude, and ungrateful people are. I'm truly offended that I see very little of the following, and its very disheartening

 

1. People actually saying "thank you" for you holding the door for them.

2. Men carrying bags for women.

3. Women holding doors for other women who have children.

4. People slowing down at School Zones to ensure the safety of the childrens well being.

5. People letting others go in front of them in line.

6. Letting a car in front of you ....

7. People holding the door for others.

8. Helping the elders when they are walking with loads they can barely hold on to.

9. Giving a friend a ride, as opposed to acting like you didn't see them walking.

10. Just smiling at someone , just because.

 

What has become of our society. Why are less and less of us being kind and courteous? Why is "rudeness" seen as the new "it".

 

When I do good for people, sometimes they look at me like i'm some kind of foreigner, with this strange look of shock. They are dubious as to my true intentions. What do I want in return? Why am I being so nice?

 

The look of shock they give me should only ensue when you see a woman with an infant, and some rude person acts like they don't see her, because stopping to actually hold the door for her would take too long, so they let it shut in her face! Thats when that look should result.

 

[easyguy]

I hear what you're saying, Miracle (and there needs to be more people like yourself I try to be nice and friendly to strangers, anyone who I encounter, because I feel it is the right thing to do.

 

I think part of why rudeness is becoming more of an "in" thing is because some people (more nowadays) early on never learn how to be hospitable, compassionate, and warm-hearted towards others outside of their family. And I think it also depends where you live. I never grew up in the mid-west of the U.S., but from being there and hearing about the people, everyone there is generally nicer and more courteous than someone who has been born and raised in the urban lifestyle.

 

There is probably not one answer to the question. But I do wish more people would at least TALK about it. Talking about it is the first step. Culture is a fascinating thing. Some things will never change, while some aspects can.

[rocio]

I also try to be polite. However, I am shy around strangers and it can probably come accross as seeming rude. I don't think most people mean to be rude... They're just caught up in their everyday life.

 

Yesterday I found some people on the bus to be rude. My man and I had gone boxing-day shopping and had lots of bags. It was crowded and I had people shoving into me, trying to move around the bus. I'm 7 months pregnant and nobody offered me a seat. Hmph...

[Alabama]

I think that is simply the way of things. Society after all simply moves in fluctuations and people will be kind, if they wish to be. I love being kind to people and though it is sad that not all of society is like that, we have to deal with it the best we can. Nothing will last forever of course, and maybe one day society will move forward in it's humanity of ways, but until it does, I'm just going to keep being kind. That's all we can do.

[shes2smart]

I blame Burger King.

 

I know it sounds crazy, but hear me out on this one.

 

Way back before the 70's, things were offered a certain way and you accepted that. If you didn't like it, you came up with a solution on your own. You didn't expect the world to bend to your will and give you exactly what you wanted.

 

Then Burger King comes up with this advertising campaign. They started telling people "Have It Your Way." It came along with a cute little jingle that got pounded into people's heads..."Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce, special orders don't upset us...."

 

Great ad campaign, and it did highlight something BK did that other fast food places didn't do at the time. But I honestly believe that it started the seeds of people thinking they should have exactly what THEY wanted, how then wanted, when they wanted. To keep up, other fast food places, and eventually other businesses, followed suit further reinforcing some sense of entitlement.

 

From that mindset, it's not that far a leap to not treating others well. After all, they're just "obstacles" to getting what you think you need.

 

And while I am only partially serious about the Burger King Theory, I still think there's some grain of truth in it.

 

I've also noticed that the more kindness and compassion I exercise in my dealings with others, the more kindness and compassion is extended to me by others. Oh, sure, I still run accross the occasional horse's behind, but I console myself by thinking that most rude behavior is not intentional...rather it's absent-mindedness or someone having a bad day. If I start believing that people are behaving badly *on purpose* it really puts a damper on my day...and I refuse to give that kinda power to someone who may have just had a temporary lapse in their manners.

[Scout]

Miracle! OMG, I was just thinking about you the other day and wondering whatever happened to you...good to see you back!!!

 

Now...on the other hand...it's not so good to see you're still feeling some of the same old stuff about people being rude and disrespectful to you, lol.

 

Don't get mad! But it's a pattern I noticed before, and I think at a certain point, it would be a good idea for you to examine why you feel such an important need to be "respected" and why you feel insulted when you aren't. I know we live in a society where it's constantly drummed into us we should demand better treatment, demand respect, and yes, I do think no one should be a doormat...but I also think that pride and ego are over-rated, the two things that drive our need for "respect." If we could let go of being driven by our pride, I think we'd all have more peace of mind in general.

 

Instead of looking for the things people do that piss us off, wouldn't it be better to start looking for the good? The things we like? Personally, I find that people often hold doors for me, or let me get my car in front of them, and any number of courteous things. Sure, there's people who don't, but I like to focus on the ones who do.

 

Because, the fastest way to change a situation is to change our perspective on it.

 

Ok, I'm hopping off my annoying soapbox now. I really am glad to see you back.

[miracle29]

Scout...I am speaking about noticing people being rude to eachother. unlike most of my post..this one is not all about me ;-). Read what I wrote again please. In addition I agree that pride and ego are traps. Maybe you should post a new topic about that topic. i'd like to see where everyone stands on this.

[miracle29]

Thats so accurate its almost creepy....

[Scout]

Yes, I did realize that you were talking about people in general, but I also know that in the past you often complained about people's rude behavior. I guess I just hope the day will come where you will realize you're a good person who's not rude, and that will be proof enough for you that goodness exists.

 

There are countless people out there who are likewise courteous and kind. And I find that it's contagious!

[Batya33]

In the huge city I live in most people are very polite and gracious. I will add that Oprah's magazine (current issue or last month maybe) had an article about "manners police" and how it is not good manners to openly comment on other peoples' lack of manners (not in a post, in public I mean). Interesting perspective.

 

My suggestion - stop worrying so much about others' behaviors and perhaps get involved in community service (I am) in order to spread good karma - perhaps work with children to be a good role model for them.

[miracle29]

I'm involved in more than charitys and humanity work. Its part of who I am and how I live. Maybe its the place I'm living in...because I don't remember people ever being this rude back where I used to live. Maybe its the cold, and a lot of people are depressed here. But you'd be hard pressed to see a smile in this town.

 

I'm happy to know that you all know so many positive people. This is great to hear. Which Is why I posted this. I wanted all of you involved. I don't do it just for good Karma, I do it because its the right thing to do.

[Scout]

My mom used to live in Alaska. I'll ask her if she noticed this. Maybe because it's so hard to survive up there, what with the harsh elements and all, it does make people a bit more gruff.

 

On the other hand, I bet many people pull together and work as a group when the going gets tough during blizzards, real bad weather, etc. because they have to in order to make it through. Have you noticed anything like that?

[miracle29]

My mom used to live in Alaska. I'll ask her if she noticed this. Maybe because it's so hard to survive up there, what with the harsh elements and all, it does make people a bit more gruff.

 

On the other hand, I bet many people pull together and work as a group when the going gets tough during blizzards, real bad weather, etc. because they have to in order to make it through. Have you noticed anything like that?

 

 

The Elders are the kindest. No blizzzards here or horrid weather where i'm at, its more dry. Bad hair days will ensue.

[Baby Carrot]

"In todays society"

What has become of our society. Why are less and less of us being kind and courteous?

 

So, in the past was it much better? Were people really that kind and courteous back then?

 

I think that lack of kindness is not exclusive of the present time. They may have been more conservative and chauvinist just.

[Considerate Empath]

Rudeness (same with beauty) is seen differently through different eyes. A hardworking father of five just returning home from his night shift, not noticing an old lady having trouble crossing the street and thus not helping her - can be considered rude by some - whatever excuse he might have. My point being just that anyone could be seen as rude by anyone at anytime simply because they don't see/condone to the reason as to why he/she isn't that friendly.

 

Also depends on the mood of the observer/the one being observed.

 

It's also that (the same with "innocent until proven guilty" I'd say) that people is constantly set on the easy way until they find the right way, and that also depends on the person and reasons as to why/why not one goes over to the right way or not, how hard it is, how much it's worth it or not etc.

 

People being set on "no" until they find the easiest way to say "yes".

 

People just simply being lazy. To quote Homer Simpson - "If you're gonna be nice, you have to be nice all the time! But if you're bad, you don't have to do squat!"

 

 

Sorry if it didn't make alot of sense - it is when I'm stuggling to be brief that I become unintelligible, so~ (quote from Horace I think...)

 

//C.E.

[CaliGirl77]

I agree, rude folks all over. I am a world traveller, and I have witnessed it on the East and West Coast of USA, and throughour Europe. It's everywhere. Just stay positive and don't ever change! It seems so frustrating at times......

 

My grandfather had a birthday recently and I asked him what the BIIGEST difference was from NOW and THEN (1930 - 1950). His reply was that people were more honest and kind back then. It's crazy how we have all changed.

[Jeffrey2095]

I think that it is in part because of sheer laziness. It takes too much effort to say "Thanks".

Also, when someone is satisfied with their relationship or life in general it's like, "well I'm happy, get yours sucker".

 

I think that the times have bred a "ME generation" (that is not necessarily related to age).

 

Thanks everyone

[miracle29]

Jeffrey, you could not have said it better. I knew it wasn't just me. I don't mind the debators who want to say "that rudeness is in the eye of the beholder" or what have you..either....I'm just glad that I have a few others who can see it for what it also is....a new time.

 

And to the poster...who said asked "Were people more polite back in the day"

 

From what I gathered from most of the elders..."You bet your sweet _ _ _ they were. (no rudeness intended!)

[Jeffrey2095]

I also notice, that if you smile, and seem happy, (around some people) then you must be either crazy or drunk, (or both).

 

I guess it is sorry indeed when a positive outward expression can be taken in such a way.

 

I made a posting where I said that I watch the news, but then I put on the old movies, (TCM) to escape to a better world, and it seemed to blow up in my face. "What was so great about the old days..." "people were so uptight then..."

 

Well, we'll keep on irregardless right?](*,)

 

Thank you.

[Considerate Empath]

I also notice, that if you smile, and seem happy, (around some people) then you must be either crazy or drunk, (or both).

 

I guess it is sorry indeed when a positive outward expression can be taken in such a way.

 

Well, skepticism does seem to be the a new (or old, depending on how you look at it) theme of this time...

 

And the only way to fight skepticism for the lazy man is with itself - and thus it grows as lazyness is indeed popular these days!

 

 

//C.E.