Compliments from unattractive men

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

Gee, another incident.

 

Me and my best friend (a very attractive guy) were in a book store. There was a cute girl helping us finding books. She was friendly and all and I kept making her laugh with comments about the books and the author. Out of the blue she said that I cracked her up and I said that it was my job to make the world see you smile, because you have a very nice smile. She really didn't say anything, in fact she seemed to have brushed it off. No worries. At least I did something. My friend saved the awkward moment by popping back into the convo.

 

But get this. A few minutes later, my friend was chatting her up (since he was the one looking for the book) and I heard him say "You really do have a nice smile" and she giggled and said thank you to him.

 

When we walked out the store, my friend said that he's going back to ask her out because they had a nice convo for about 15 minutes as I browsed the astrology section (read: eavesdropped)

 

So my question for the ladies is, when an unattractive guy compliments you, does his opinion matter as much as an attractive guy? It may seem like a silly question, but to me it is valid because I don't think our opinions matter, since we're not "candidates."

 

Thanks.

[Lady Bugg]

I appreciate a compliment regardless of the person giving it....man, or woman. PEOPLE have eyes...regardless of gender...and I assume they all see the same things.....unless they are delusional.....I mean OBVIOUSLY I'll think they are full of it if they try to tell me I look like some supermodel.

As long as the compliment is sincere then it's appreciated.

[DizzyDoris]

In my opinion if someone pays me a compliment and puts a smile on my face, it doesnt matter what they look like. A compliments a compliment and i would be pleased to receive one. Okay put it this way, if someone is kind enough to say something nice to make me feel good...im going to be thinking happy thoughts not eeeeew s/he looks gross!

[Portage]

And you must remember, not everyone has the same taste when it comes to men. What one may consider "so-so" another may not.

 

And all women LOVE getting compliments REGARDLESS as to WHO is giving them...so there

[Day_Walker]

In my mind you just went over the top with what you said, while all he did was just say she had a nice smile. I would try to use his technique instead of going above and beyond.

[itsallgrand]

Yeah dude, you just put her on the spot and muted her. She probably didn't know what to say at that point.

 

To be blunt, what you said made her uncomfortable. Compliments are wonderful, but if they are too strong they can be embarrassing and seem insincere.

 

What your friend did, was put her at ease afterwards, that is why she giggled. Nervous tension reduction is all.

 

There is nothing here that points in any way to a connection to attractiveness or not.

 

Honest to god, it is technique not looks. It doesn't matter much what someone looks like when it comes down to it. Looks go about as far as your hand.

 

All people only want to feel genuinely accepted and spoken to with honesty.

Be yourself as silly trite as that sounds.

 

Hope this is taken in the spirit it is intended in.

[coooolsome]

One thing I have learned is that when you compliment a women, is that you cannot put all the romantic undertones on it. They see it as fake, forced, insincere.

 

When she said, "you crack me up", you should have said something along the lines of, "are you hitting on me?" Of course, it depends on the person but basically you two were having fun, there was no need for you to throw a compliment out there.

 

For some reason, compliments work best when they are not said much and they are said with no emotion, like its a passing thought. Its like when you compliment a friends shirt, you don't expect anythign from that person. Give the compliment and move on. Warning, this only works when you first meet a woman and not one you have been dating for a long time.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

I am totally embarrassed! I didn't even say it romantically, I actually tried to keep the humor going. I just said what I felt and I think my voice pitch rose and my face did feel really hot. But hey, at least my friend got something out of it. ](*,)

[coooolsome]

Don't feel embarrassed. Its ok, just learn from it. I make mistakes a lot, but I keep learning from them. What to do, what not to do, and the only way to learn it is from experience unfortunatley.

 

Its easy for me to say what you did wrong, but that doesn't mean I might not have done the same thing.

 

If you ever see her again, just act like nothing happened. It wasnt a big deal and she will notice it wasnt. The only way to weird her out is act like it was a big deal, which it wasn't.

[rocio]

You're really focused on the way you look. Are you really that unattractive? You should send me a pic of yourself.

[Kevin T]

Kyo, "attractiveness" is more than just looks. It's about how you show yourself to the world, and what you think about yourself. For instance, humour, quick wit, charm and intelligence are all very attractive features women look for. Confidence is huge, too.

 

Remember that. Even someone who feels they are not "good looking enough" can still show those qualities and get women. Trust me, I've seen it done on numerous occasions.

 

So, stop saying you're "unattractive" because I don't buy it.

[whyisthatlegal]

Okay here's something, I was at a club a couple months ago and a woman came up to me and just started to tell me I was beautiful and gorgeous and that if she were a guy she would totally hit on me. It made me feel really good even though it was a girl saying it. Another time, a guy at the bar I was standing at was talking to me and my sister and asked if I had a boyfriend in my hometown (he was older and with his wife) and I said no and he said that will change soon...you're a very beautiful girl. It didn't matter how old he was or anything, just that he gave me a compliment. I was sweet.

 

My point is, it doesn't matter who gives them, girls like compliments. No matter how akward or weird the situation.