Anyone ever just say, "Screw it"?

[Kevin T]

No, not that way, I mean about ever finding anyone to share their life with?

 

Ever just get to the point where you stopped trying, or even better, stopped caring?

 

If you got to the point where you no longer care, how did you do it?

 

I think not caring is a much easier alternative than being miserable 24/7, don't you think?

[rose2summer]

Well Kevin-

 

I think we can convince ourselves that we don't care.

 

We can use suppression to hide our desire to be with someone else.

 

But the only person we are tricking is ourself.

 

A few failures or lost chances at a life future with someone doesn't mean your doomed.

 

I think it's best just to keep at it with the hopes that a success story will relinquish itself.

 

Hugs, Rose

[hosswhispra]

Yes I have Kevin T. I don't know if it's the winter or whatever but I do not have any interest in looking/dating for a soul mate now--> so I am not.

[renaissancewoman101]

Right now I am at that point, I dont think I am going to find someone to love and who will love me back. The holidays make it painful and makes it even more apparent that I won't have a SO in my life. My last few attempts at meeting an SO have been disappointing to say the least. I am tired of having people be interested in me and then pull some crap on me.

 

I dont mind being alone. I do miss having an SO in my life, but my piggies give me joy and take away some of the loneliness that comes from living alone and being alone.

[Lady Bugg]

Kevin.........a little off topic..but that pic is hilarious..LOL

Good job on beating anorexia!!!!!!!!

[Psylocke]

I haven't gotten to the point where I don't care but instead but got to the point where now it just doesn't matter anymore. I don't think I could ever stop caring, but that doesn't mean I haven't tried my damnest to stop.

 

While I'd love to have a bf s.o., soulmate or whatever you want to call it, that just doesn't seem to be happenin. Not sure what plan God has for me, but I guess the fun stuff with a bf will happen later in my life

[Kevin T]

Yeah, the holidays are the toughest time of year. No wonder suicide rates go up in winter.

 

And I know that if we say we don't care we only deceive ourselves. But if we believe something will somehow work out in the end, that too, could be nothing but self-deception. It's like (I know this will sound negative, but...) "If you know you will lose, then why fight?"

 

That would just be plain foolishness.

 

Hey, for all those who want to say "screw it", we should all have a "Screw it" pact. lol I'm serious...

 

That way we can't backslide into thinking there is hope when there is none. There's nothing more pathetic than someone who has hope when he shouldn't.

 

People may root for the underdog, but does he ever REALLY win in real life? No.

[Aschleigh]

I can't stop wanting a person to share my life with. It's innate.

I can keep working on all the other stuff and put it on the back burner though.

There are so many aspects of life to get together, career, travel, spirituality, relationships, etc..

Concentrate on the other stuff for a bit and see what happens.

[TheRedQueen]

Oh Kevin, how I missed your somber attitude...

[rose2summer]

Depends on who you define as the underdog.

 

I have seen the underdog triumph again and again.

 

However, it depends on whether the motivation is there to win.

 

Choose your battles wisely, and if you find someone you really care about, then pursue them like there is no tomorrow.

 

As cliche as it sounds, it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

 

Hugs, Rose

[renaissancewoman101]

The holidays are a real pain in the behind. Hearing Christmas carols, seeing people buy gifts for their families and SO's, going around and seeing people with their loved ones, love in the air, etc.

 

BLAH!!!!!!!!!!

 

I spent part of the weekend shopping for Christmas gifts for some friends and I realized that I didnt have a SO. Yeah, it hurts, but having someone in your life and then the eventual breakup that ALWAYS comes, hurts even more.

 

BAH HUMBUG to the holidays.

 

And Rose, sometimes finding someone you care and want and giving it your all, just lands you with unrealized dreams and broken hearts.

[hosswhispra]

I can honestly say I have absolutely no interest in dating or looking for a soul mate without deceiving myself. That's not to say that I wouldn't be interested if the opportunity presented itself. I just don't have an interest in actively looking like I had at the end of this past summer. Actually, I am feeling more introverted than I usually feel lately and have been wondering if that has something to do with the approach of winter. But yeah...no interest and no worries.

[astromantic]

I can keep working on all the other stuff and put it on the back burner though.

 

I think that's the better way to put it than saying "screw it". I used to think like that after I crashed and burned at a horrible attempt of starting a relationship that I already knew was never going to happen. I had that bitter after taste of rejection and was in that mindset. However as time went on, it faded into the background and I ended up focusing on myself and my own development. I really think the advice about learning to make yourself content is true. If others see you being comfortable in your own skin and enjoying life then they'll want a part in your life too. So, yes I've had that experience but in actual fact it's simmering quietly on the back burner.

[Kevin T]

That's the thing. I have loved before... which makes it worse. Unlike a lot of people that post (and I am definitely not naming names), but I have had close, wonderful relationships with girls. My longest relationship lasted a year and a half and I still think she was a good person (I harbor no malice toward her). But it's worse when you've had something great... then you lose it.

 

Because then you just want what you once had (I don't mean the person, but rather, just having someone there, you know?), and it's gone. And you never get it back.

 

You can say never say never, but this year I'll be 25. Thirty is coming up, then what? Forty, then fifty... I mean, hope is fine, but I've already wasted the best years of my life alone. What have I got to look forward to now?

 

As for the people that can magically turn off the I hate being alone function, that's awesome. But I've tried that. DOESN'T WORK. Least not for me.

 

On a side note, women are generally better at that than men, BTW.

 

There are four kinds of people in this word:

 

1. People who like being alone or can accept it and stay alone.

2. People who can't accept being alone and don't like it, but have no choice but to stay alone.

3. People who don't like being alone and find someone.

4. People who like being alone and find someone.

[dnozzle]

I sure got to that point. I had just realized that I went on a date with a woman my dad had dated. I gave up forever and swore I would never date again.

 

2 weeks later i met my girlfriend.

[hosswhispra]

I sure got to that point. I had just realized that I went on a date with a woman my dad had dated. I gave up forever and swore I would never date again.

 

2 weeks later i met my girlfriend.

 

Interesting!

 

See Kevin T ~ Don't lose hope.

[Aschleigh]

I just turned 30 and I am in the best shape emotionally and spiritually that I have ever been. I am single , thin, smart and living in Los Angeles.

I am not wasting the best years of my life. I am working on me. Hoping that I will attract a wonderful man into my life at the right time.

[Kevin T]

That's nice, but it didn't work for me.

 

I've been down this road before. And each time, I somehow get the hope back, then nothing happens and I want to give up again. And each time I give up, I start to get hope back, and the whole cycle continues.

 

I'm tired of it. I think it'd just be easier to give up once and for all and then that's it. But I'm really stubborn; see, if I give up for good, then even if the right person DID come along, I would not accept it.

 

I guess it's the fact that I want what I want now, not later. I hate waiting and am very impatient. I just really hate the fact that I am wasting the good years of my life.

 

What, I'll find her when I'm sixty and she's fifty-five? What good is that? I've already lost my looks, as did she. We've missed our chance to have kids, to do all the fun stuff young people do; all we'll get to do is sit there on a porch swing and watch the buzzards circle. Nah, I'll pass, thanks.

 

One last thing: Are you truly working on "you"? Because it sounds like you're expecting a nice man to come along for your hard work. If that's so, you're doing it for the man, not you.

[easyguy]

I used to feel miserable for not having been in a relationship. Somewhere between then and now I learned to develop a different attitude-- one that acknowledges who I am, and focuses on the things that are going to make a real difference in my life, and could be a benefit to others.

[TheRedQueen]

Well if you already had it once (a loving relationship), wouldn't that be proof positive that you can just as easily have it again?

 

Patience my dear, believe it or not, you're not doomed.

[renaissancewoman101]

I am 33 and I am starting to wonder if I am ever going to meet someone. The last guy I met, he worked at the same school I did and he asked me out. After a few times, he acted like a fool and started avoiding me like the plague.

 

I rather be alone than meet someone and get rejected for something stupid.

[Kevin T]

It didn't come "easy" the first time. I honestly don't know how the hell it even happened, now that I think of it. I think the gods must have been toying with me. lol

[Kevin T]

You know, I'd probably rather be alone than suffer rejection after rejection too. It's hard.

[hosswhispra]

What, I'll find her when I'm sixty and she's fifty-five? What good is that? I've already lost my looks, as did she. We've missed our chance to have kids, to do all the fun stuff young people do; all we'll get to do is sit there on a porch swing and watch the buzzards circle. Nah, I'll pass, thanks.

 

Phooey on ageism. Doen't matter how old you are--deep down everyone feels like a kid. Doesn't matter how old you are--people generally welcome an opportunity to be loved. The concept of love NEVER grows old.

[dnozzle]

Interesting!

 

 

 

 

How so????